Two of a Kind
by Nilla79
Summary: Bella, 23, and Edward, 25, meet at a social event. As far as appearances go, they couldn't be more different, but they are instantly drawn to each other. Could they really be soul mates? And will the people around them accept their relationship?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, this is my new story. I've been playing with different ideas and plots in my head for a while, and this one just stuck and wouldn't go away. I'd like to put a warning on the prologue, as some of you might find it disturbing since it will deal with the subject of cutting. This may seem dark at first, but I assure you, self-harm will not play a big part in the story. This Bella is not suicidal. There will be some angst, sure, but nothing compared to 'Loner'. That said, I'll just let you go ahead and read. Please let me know what you think!**

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><p><em><strong>Prologue<strong>_

_**Bella Swan (age thirteen) Forks, Washington**_

_I was weighing the knife in my hand, surprised that it felt so light. It wasn't that big, but for some reason, I had expected it to be heavier. Instead, the sharp item just seemed small and insignificant in my hand, which felt wrong, considering the damage it could cause with just one swift move._

_As I slowly raised my hand, letting the knife hover in the air just above my wrist, it hit me how easy it would be to end it all. The thought frightened me. There was something very scary and disturbing about how incredibly fragile the human body really was. _

_I found myself wondering how long it would take for my body to bleed dry. It was morbid, sure, and definitely not something a normal thirteen-year-old girl should be thinking about, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't have a death wish, but nonetheless was I curious._

_What would it be like to see the blood flowing, coursing down my bare arms? It would no doubt be painful, but I wasn't sure which would cause me to pass out first - the pain, or the sight of the blood. I had never been able to handle that well._

_I brought the knife closer, so close I could actually feel the cold steel against my skin. That's when I realized I was shaking. Maybe because of the power I was holding in my hand - the power of death - or maybe just because I knew deep down that what I was doing, no matter the intention, wasn't healthy. _

_Either way, it caused me to freeze in my tracks. Suddenly I was afraid to make even the slightest move. I had never intended to actually cut myself - I was just intrigued by the idea. But now it hit me how little it would take for my already trembling fingers to slip. I should just put the knife down, but instead I found myself squeezing it tighter._

_And that's when I heard my mother's voice from the doorway._

_"Isabella? Oh, dear God in Heaven, what are you doing?"_

_The knife slipped out of my hand and landed on the floor with a clatter that seemed to echo through the house. _

_I gasped and turned to look at my mom, unable to keep the guilt out of my voice. "Mom... I wasn't really-"_

_She cut me off, tears welling up in her eyes. "No matter how miserable you are, honey, this isn't the answer. Oh, God, what if I hadn't made it in time?" She mumbled the last part to herself._

_My cheeks were burning with humiliation and I quickly shook my head, horrified that she would believe for a second that I had actually been about to seriously hurt myself. "Mom, I promise, I wasn't going to-"_

_Again she interrupted me, like I hadn't even spoken. "It's this house, isn't it? This town. It's sucking the life right out of you."_

_"What?" I gave her a look of confusion. "No, Mom, I'm fine. Really. I'm sorry I scared you. It won't happen again."_

_"Damn right, it won't." She swept her fingers under her eyes to wipe away a few tears, and I could see the determination set on her face. "Because we won't stay here another minute." She took a deep breath to compose herself. "Sweetheart, I want you to start packing your bags. We're leaving, first thing in the morning."_

_"Leaving?" I stared at her, not quite understanding what she was saying. "You mean we're moving away?"_

_She nodded. "That's exactly what I mean, Isabella. I've been miserable here for years, but it never occurred to me that you felt the same way. I'm so sorry - if I had known, I would've taken you away from here sooner. But this ends now. Things will be better for both of us once we're out of Forks, I promise."_

_Both of us? But what about...?_

_"Mom? What about Dad?"_

_She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "Let me handle your father. He'll understand. He knows I've never been happy here." With that, she nodded once, as if to tell herself she was making the right decision. Then she spun around and left the room, leaving me to stare after her in shock and disbelief._

_It wasn't until later I realized the knife was still lying on the floor, and my mother seemed to have forgotten all about its existence._

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

**Bella Swan (age twenty-three) Phoenix, Arizona**

I quickly swallowed the last of my champagne and put the empty glass down before helping myself to a second slice of cake. It was huge, with white, some sort of vanilla, buttery frosting, and I suppose it tasted good, but I was really just eating because I was bored. It was a bad habit, and no doubt would I make myself get rid of it later.

It was Renee - my mother - who had dragged me to this opening of a new, fancy art gallery in town. She loved these kinds of events where she got to dress up nicely and mingle with the upper class of society - her words, not mine. To her, appearances was everything. Me? I couldn't care less.

Of course, you wouldn't know that by looking at me. I was always wearing expensive clothes and make-up, had my hair and nails done at least once a month, and I made sure I never gained a pound. To my mother, those were all signs of happiness. She just chose to ignore the dead look in my eyes, as well as how all my clothes were practically hanging on my body these days as I was slowly wasting away.

And not just physically.

I wouldn't say I was _un_happy, at least not to the point of miserable - like Renee claimed to have been before she took me away from my dad about ten years ago and made me move across the country - but I wasn't exactly happy with my life, either. I just... _was_.

It wasn't that I was lonely, because I had lots of friends, or at least people I had known since high school and through college that I would still hang out with. My mother approved of them, of course, since they were all 'the right kind of kids', coming from wealthy, respectable families. That was important to her.

Again, to me, not so much. But over the years, I had become pretty good at pretending and hiding my true feelings. It was easier that way. It wasn't like Renee would ever take the time to really listen to me, anyway. She never had.

I couldn't really put my finger on why I always felt so off, like a stranger in my own body. Some would probably say it was because I missed my father, and I figured that was a part of the problem, but there had to be more to it than that.

After all, I would talk to Charlie on the phone every week, and ever since I turned eighteen and Renee could no longer keep me from visiting him, I always spent a few weeks every summer with my dad in Forks. We were good. Besides, my home was now in Phoenix. I lived in a nice apartment in the 'right' part of town, according to my mother, and I had a job that paid the bills.

Of course, standing behind the counter at Starbucks wasn't what she would call classy, and she never lost an opportunity to remind me of that. But, I was an adult, and she really had no say.

"There you are, Isabella. I thought I'd lost you in the crowd." Renee gently grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me to the side, allowing people to pass. Her eyes fell on the small paper plate in my hand and her eyebrows nearly disappeared up her hairline. "Are you eating cake again?"

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes at her, thinking she was probably just surprised. Normally I would make a show of counting every single calorie. "I'm hungry," I lied, stubbornly licking the frosting off my fork. In reality, I felt like I was going to be sick. But she didn't need to know that.

Renee clicked her tongue in disapproval. "You shouldn't eat cake when you're hungry. And definitely not more than one piece. I'm telling you, that'll go straight to your thighs." A small laugh escaped her, and I just wanted to punch her. How could she say something like that to me? Couldn't she see how skinny I was? And even if I wasn't, it didn't give her any right to throw out a stupid comment like that.

Unfortunately, my mother never knew when to stop. "You've better watch what you eat, Isabella, or you'll end up like that fat kid over there." She nodded towards a small table in the back of the room, no more than twenty feet from where we were standing. I cringed at her crudeness, but was unable to stop myself from following her gaze.

The guy she was referring to looked to be about my age, maybe just a few years older. He had unruly but incredibly soft looking, bronze-colored hair, and from what I could see, perfectly flawless skin. He was slightly overweight, but what caused my heart to stop were his eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of green.

He wasn't alone, though. A pretty girl with dark, almost black, spiky hair was sitting next to him, her hand reaching for the wineglass in front of her, only to freeze in the air as her head shot up. Her hand dropped to the table as her eyes turned in our direction. I was totally unprepared for the fury in her eyes as she glared daggers at me and Renee.

It took a moment before it hit me that the guy was looking straight at me as well. I watched how his cheeks turned red and his eyes darkened. That's when I realized he - or both of them - must have heard every word my mother had just said. He quickly jumped up and hurried away, shoulders slumped and eyes on the floor. The girl got up and followed, but not before throwing one last hateful look my way.

And I just wanted to curl up in a hole and die of mortification.

I also wanted to scream and yell a thousand obscenities at my heartless mother, before or after I started crying. But most of all, I wanted to run after him. I probably would have, had my feet not been frozen at the spot. For a moment, I couldn't understand why I was reacting so strongly. After all, it wasn't _me_ who had uttered those hurtful words. _I_wasn't the one who had hurt his feelings.

So why did I feel like this?

I barely got to finish that thought before an image of those sad but beautiful, emerald eyes played up in my head. Over and over again.

"Come on, Isabella, there are some really important people I want you to meet." Renee tugged at my arm, completely oblivious to my inner turmoil, as well as the damage she had just caused by being her usual, tactless self.

_Unbelievable._

"I can't believe you," I hissed, glaring at her. "Do you ever listen to yourself? Would it kill you to stop for just a second and _think_before opening your mouth?"

Her face was the picture of pure shock. "Isabella! Why are you talking to me this way?" She had the nerve to actually look hurt.

I let out a snort. "First of all, you _know_I don't like when you call me Isabella. It's Bella, plain and simple. Second, are you telling me I hurt your feelings just now? That's a bit rich, coming from you. Did you see that guy's face? My God, mother, I've never been so embarrassed in my life!"

She actually had the decency to look ashamed. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, honey. I swear, I didn't intend for him to hear me."

Her lame words of apology only fueled my anger. "And that's supposed to make it okay? You insulted him, whether you meant for him to hear you or not. You don't talk about other people that way."

"Whatever. I'm sorry. Okay?" She shook her head in annoyance. "Now, can we please go mingle? I want to introduce you to some people who actually matters." When I just looked at her, folding my arms across my chest, she threw her arms up in frustration. "What?"

"Never mind." I sighed. "I'm really not in a mood for mingling. I'm leaving." She opened her mouth, but I beat her to it. "I'll take a cab. You stay as long as you want. I'll see you... whenever." I spun around, ignoring her protests. I'd had enough.

I was still upset when I got outside a couple of minutes later, the fresh air doing nothing to improve my already bad mood. The cabs were lining up across the street, but I remained where I was, breathing heavily in and out, as I wished I could just forget the last couple of hours. I was tempted to just walk home, but I figured that wouldn't be safe.

That's when I heard a noise behind me, causing me to jump. Someone else was out here.

I turned around, only to find myself once again looking into those green eyes. A soft gasp escaped me, and my hand flew up to my chest.

He seemed to be just as surprised as me. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," he mumbled, looking away. Then he took a hesitant step back, obviously about to leave, and I finally snapped out of the daze.

"Wait!" I called out in panic, blushing when he stopped in his tracks and gave me a wary look. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second, forcing myself to take a deep breath. Then I opened my eyes again, relieved beyond words that he hadn't moved. In all honesty, I didn't think I could blame him if he would have taken the chance to bolt. I gulped. "I-I'm Bella."

He blinked in surprise, but seemed to recover pretty quickly. "Oh, um... I'm Edward." His eyes ran over me suspiciously, as if he didn't know what to make of me.

"Nice to meet you, Edward," I managed to get out. Once again, I was completely mesmerized by his eyes. And for some reason, he didn't seem able to look away, either. I shook my head in a weak attempt to clear my thoughts. "Look, I really need to apologize for my mother. She's..." I hesitated, not sure what to say to excuse Renee's rude behavior. "She's on medication," I finished lamely.

He snorted. "No, she's not."

"No." I sighed, realizing I couldn't lie to him. "But I swear to God, she should be." The corner of his mouth twitched slightly upward, but he remained silent. I swallowed hard. "Listen, Edward, you definitely don't owe me anything, and I wouldn't blame you if you just... turned around and walked away right now. But it's important to me that you understand that I'm nothing like my mother."

He tilted his head to the side. "Why are you telling me this? Why do you even care?"

"Because..." I stopped, suddenly at a loss for words. I didn't have any explanation to give him. "I just do," I told him truthfully, begging him with my eyes to understand.

"Look, Bella..." He let out a sigh. "You don't have to apologize for your mother. It's not like I'm not used to comments like that."

Something about his words really bothered me. "But that's just awful. You shouldn't have to-"

He cut me off abruptly. "It's just the way it is, Bella. When you look like this," he gestured to his large body with an eye-roll, "you get to hear shit like that all the time. And eventually, you just stop giving a damn. Believe me, the last thing I need is your pity."

_Pity? _I stared at him in disbelief. "Is that what you think this is?"

"Frankly?" He looked me right in the eyes. "Yes."

I was about two seconds away from bursting into tears, but I refused to start crying in front of him. "Well, you're wrong," I whispered, stubbornly holding his gaze, "I'm just being honest. I don't know you, but you seem like a really nice guy."

He actually laughed at that, but I didn't miss the bitterness in his voice as he spoke. "And that's all that matters, isn't it? Fucking bullshit." I opened my mouth, although I had no idea what I was going to say, but he went on, sounding almost amused, "So, Bella, if I seem like such a _nice_guy to you, would you go out with me?"

"Yes," I told him without even thinking. His mouth fell open and he stared at me in shock. That's when I realized he had just been sarcastic. It wasn't a serious question and he had never expected me to say yes. It made me both angry and sad at the same time. "But _you_ obviously wouldn't go out with _me_," I told him sharply, unable to keep the hurt out of my voice. "Am I that repulsive?"

"What?" He looked genuinely confused for a moment, and then his eyes widened in alarm. "No! I never said... I mean, you're..." his voice trailed off and he lowered his eyes, clearly more than a little uncomfortable. I could relate to that feeling. And yet, I couldn't bring myself to walk away.

For a moment, we just stood there, looking at each other. Then his face softened just a little. "Would you really go out with me?" he asked quietly, an almost wistful note in his voice. All I could do was nod in response, because I didn't trust my voice to hold. "Well, then..." he started, only to be interrupted by a loud voice, coming from behind us.

"Edward, I'm ready. Let's get out of here."

My heart sank when I immediately recognized the dark-haired, pixie-like girl from inside the art gallery. Her eyes narrowed as she clearly recognized me as well. For a moment, I feared she was Edward's girlfriend, but then I saw they had exactly the same eyes. Maybe a sister, then? And a very protective one, judging by the way she was looking at me, her eyes burning a hole in my head.

"Alice..." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose before turning his apologetic eyes back to me. "Bella, I'd like you to meet my sister, Alice. Alice, this is Bella."

"Hi, Alice, it's nice to..." I started politely, but she interrupted me.

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Edward? Let's go." With that, she turned around and walked away, her purse tightly in one hand and her car keys in the other.

I just stared after her, my mouth open. Then I slowly turned back to Edward, who was looking after his sister with an unreadable expression on his face. I managed to force a strained smile. "Well, she seemed nice."

"I'm sorry, Bella." He sounded regretful, although I wasn't sure why. "I need to go." A pause. "Whether you believe me or not, it was nice meeting you." And he was gone.

It wasn't until I was already sitting in the cab that I realized Edward hadn't asked for my phone number, nor had I given him mine. Which meant I had no way of contacting him. I had a feeling he had just been about to ask me out for real when his sister walked up to us, but I couldn't know for sure. And it wasn't like I could ask him now.

What were the chances of me accidentally running into Edward again in this town? I figured pretty slim. I felt a big lump form in my throat at the thought of never seeing him again.

I didn't like that thought at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I don't know what to say. I'm completely blown away by the support I've gotten so far and I can only hope I'll be able to keep your interest as the story will proceed. Almost a hundred reviews for the first chapter, that's a new record for me. To all of you - thank you so much! I guess you liked the thought of a chubby Edward. I know I do. Speaking of, some of you have asked me to be more specific regarding Edward's weight. I promise you'll get some more information in later chapters, but for now, let me just say this: Edward is overweight, but the exact amount of pounds is not really relevant. What _is _relevant is the way other people are viewing him, and the way he's seeing himself. Ok, on with the story!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

**Bella**

The days went by, turning into weeks, and as much as I tried, I couldn't get Edward and his annoyingly beautiful eyes out of my head. I told myself to forget about him, that it was pointless since we probably wouldn't see each other again, but my heart refused to let it go. In fact, the more I struggled to push all thoughts of Edward to the back of my mind, the more I found myself daydreaming about him.

It made absolutely no sense to me. I didn't even know the guy, for crying out loud. There were times when I wondered, if maybe the reason I had become so obsessed with Edward, could be simply because I still felt guilty about how we had met in the first place. His obvious humiliation of being so cruelly insulted in public, my mother's stupidity, and not to mention the look on his face as he left the room.

Deep down, I knew I was just fooling myself. Guilt had nothing to do with it.

It was all him.

The intensity of my feelings surprised me, to say the very least. In my defense, my fantasies weren't sexual, or even romantic, at that point. I just wanted to see him again, talk to him. Show him that not everyone in this town were superficial snobs - like Renee - and that there were people - me for instance - who actually cared to find out what was underneath the surface.

But I never ran into him. And when almost a month had passed, my hope started to fade.

When I wasn't working, I did my best to keep myself occupied, filling my days with simple, trivial things, like cleaning my apartment, do laundry, make batch after batch of cookies that I would never eat, work out - which mostly consisted of running for hours, since I absolutely dreaded visiting the gym - and go shopping.

It wasn't that I really _enjoyed_ shopping, especially not the trying on clothes part, but sometimes it was necessary, seeing how it was so _important_to keep up with the latest fashion. Back when I was in high school, there had been sort of a competition of who would wear the fanciest, most expensive clothes. It was all ridiculous if you asked me.

And yet, I was no better than the rest of them. Of course, unlike most of my friends, I had never looked down at those less fortunate students who simply couldn't afford to buy and wear designer clothes to school, but I never once complained when my mother got a kick out of dressing me up like a fancy Barbie doll.

It wasn't as easy to find nice clothes that would fit me now, though. I had always been petite, but these days, I barely weighed more than a hundred pounds. It was a vicious circle - I knew I was way too thin, and at the same time, I was terrified of gaining too much weight.

I hated my scrawny body - I didn't have any hips to talk about, and my boobs had already been close to nonexistent from the beginning - but the only explanation I could come up with for staying that way was that controlling my weight like that made me feel like I was more in control of _myself_. And control was something I needed. Desperately.

So desperately, in fact, that I sometimes saw no other option but to make myself throw up when I felt my intake of calories had become too high. It was wrong, unhealthy, and I always ended up feeling disgusted by myself afterwards. Thankfully, I didn't feel the need to purge very often, and I flat out refused to think of myself as a bulimic.

Even though I knew deep down that I most likely was.

Staying skinny was my way of control, and shopping was my way of distraction. And now I really, _really_needed a distraction. So I called my friend, Jessica, and asked her to meet me at the mall. She sounded excited. Unfortunately, she also decided to bring her friend, Lauren. I supposed, technically, Lauren was my friend as well, since we had all gone to school together, but I just couldn't stand her.

However, I always kept that opinion to myself. It was easier - not to mention less time-consuming - to just smile and suck it up than trying to find a nice way to explain to Jess that I didn't want Lauren to tag along simply because she was a bitch.

When I arrived, Jessica and Lauren were already waiting. They were standing close, giggling and whispering to each other, and as I walked up to them, I caught the last part of their conversation.

"Oh my God, that was _so_gross!" Lauren scrunched her face up. "I can't believe he did that!" Jess shook her head in agreement, laughing loudly.

"Hey, guys, what's up?" I asked carefully. The two of them spun around and smiled widely at me.

"Hi, Bella!" Jess sobered up and gave me a quick hug. Then she glanced at Lauren and burst out giggling again. "You'll never believe what just happened. A homeless guy just grabbed Lauren by the arm and asked for money! He touched her! And he was absolutely disgusting, probably hadn't showered in a week." She shuddered at the thought and they both groaned.

I managed a weak smile that most likely didn't reach my eyes. The truth was, I could never see the amusing part in stories like that. Lauren and Jessica may find homeless people to be 'gross', but I only thought it was sad. Those people were still human beings, whether they had a home or not.

But this wasn't any news to me - I had always known most of my friends were shallow people. I hadn't thought about Edward all day, but now the image of him flashed before my eyes, and I found myself wondering what Jess and Lauren's reactions would be if they saw him.

My heart sank when I couldn't help but wonder if they would make fun of him, just because he happened to be overweight and therefore didn't fit the norm of what was acceptable in their eyes. Sure, we were all adults, but that hadn't stopped Renee. At least I had told my mother off. But would I do the same when it came to my friends?

_Yes,_ I thought, _I definitely would._The thought made me feel a little better.

I ended up buying a bunch of stuff I didn't really need. Like a new bottle of perfume, two sets of bras with matching panties that no one but myself would see, a pair of black shoes that I really liked, and a pretty, midnight blue top with long sleeves and a matching skirt that I knew I would probably never wear. I hated skirts, mostly because they would reveal too much of my bony legs.

It was a couple of days later - four weeks and three days since the first and only time I had seen and talked to Edward, not that I was counting - that I finally found myself staring into a familiar pair of green eyes that seemed to have haunted my dreams for just as long. Unfortunately, the eyes belonged to the wrong person.

I was at work when Edward's sister, Alice, walked up to the counter and ordered an 'extra-large, _vanilla latte_to go'. Then her eyes widened slightly, as it had clearly taken a moment before she recognized me, but to my surprise - and disappointment - she made no further sign of acknowledgment. In fact, she just pressed her lips together and looked the other way, her message loud and clear.

_I have nothing to say to you._

The very second she had the warm beverage in her hand, she tossed a bill on the counter, mumbled a short 'thanks' and spun around, nearly stumbling over her feet in her eagerness to leave. I called out for her without thinking.

"Alice!"

She froze, and I could practically see her inner struggle, as if she couldn't decide whether or not to just ignore me. But finally, she turned around, slowly, and I could see the hostility written all over her face. It made me uncomfortable, as I couldn't understand why she seemed to dislike me so much. After all, she didn't even know me.

But that obviously didn't matter to her, as I became painfully aware of in the next moment when she gave me a hard look and commanded in a low but firm voice, "You stay away from my brother." Then she left the coffee shop without another word. I was so stunned by her rudeness, it didn't even occur to me to object.

I had a hard time falling asleep that night, too many thoughts rushing through my head. It seemed totally unfair to me, the way Alice was clearly still judging me by my mother's actions. That was the only reason I could think of that would explain her cold behavior towards me. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

At one point, I even went as far as to blame Edward for not explaining things to his sister. We had parted on good terms, hadn't we? At least that's what I thought. I had apologized, even though I hadn't done anything wrong in the first place. It was all Renee. I could understand Alice's need to prove a point and stand up for her brother when he was being mistreated, but she had no right to take it out on me.

I didn't like her. At all.

Another week passed, every day a constant battle with myself. I was trying to force myself into accepting the fact that I would probably never see Edward again. I didn't like it, but there was really nothing I could do about it, seeing how I didn't even know his last name. And Alice didn't show up at the coffee house again.

Needless to say, I was moody and grumpy most of the time. But then again, I wasn't all that happy to begin with, even before Edward unknowingly became a permanent fixture in my life.

I was pathetic.

But then, suddenly one day, it just happened.

I was at the grocery store - one I didn't usually go to, but it was on my way home from work and I got a sudden craving for a chocolate bar - and decided I might as well get some more fruit and cereal, since I was almost out. So I grabbed a shopping basket and headed for the fruit section, where I picked out some apples and bananas, putting them into plastic bags and slipping them down in my basket.

It was when I got to the cereal aisle that I realized I had a problem.

I could never understand why they would always stack the groceries so high on the shelves that no one who was under six feet tall could possibly reach them. Well, I was 5'4, hence my dilemma. Because - naturally - just that one particular brand of cereal I wanted happened to be placed at the top shelf. I looked around, searching for someone who could help me, but there was no one in sight.

Of course.

For a moment, the crazy idea of climbing the shelf crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed it. With my luck, I would end up falling on my ass, probably breaking it. I felt my irritation grow as I stood there, helplessly staring at the shelf. Yes, I knew I had options. I could go look for someone and ask for help, or I could just leave and forget about the stupid cereals.

However, neither of those two options appeased me. Instead, I tried jumping a few times, but I still couldn't reach the top shelf, or even the one beneath. This was ridiculous. That's when I made the stupid decision to give the shelf a little shake to see if it seemed stable enough to climb after all.

It turned out it wasn't. Before I knew what happened, hundreds of cereal boxes - at least it seemed like that many to me - were literally raining over me. I let out a pitiful squeak, desperately trying to catch some of the boxes, but it was useless - there were just too many.

And then I stepped on one of them. A normal person probably would've kept their balance, but not me. That's why I found myself on my knees, crawling around at the dirty floor in the middle of the cereal aisle - which now, thanks to my clumsiness, reminded me more of a disaster area - when I heard a soft voice behind me.

"Um, are you all right?"

I looked up, my eyes stinging with tears and my cheeks burning. And there were my green eyes - the right ones this time - looking down at me with a mixture of concern and amusement. My mouth fell open, but no words would come. I figured almost a minute must have passed before I finally managed to get my traitorous mouth to cooperate. "Edward?" I whispered, disbelief evident in my voice.

_This could not be happening._

His eyes widened in surprise and I could see the exact moment recognition hit him. "Bella," he stated, and I felt my stomach doing a flip-flop. After all this time, he still remembered my name.

But then my humiliation caught up with me, and I closed my eyes, wishing the floor would just swallow me. Sadly, it didn't happen. "Hi," I mumbled, dejectedly.

"Hi." Edward was quiet for a moment, and then an almost shy grin started spreading on his face. "It looks like you could use some help." He held out his hand, and after only a second's hesitation, I grabbed it like a lifeline, allowing him to pull me up on my feet.

"Thanks." I cleared my throat. "Um, I should probably..." I made a motion to start picking up the fallen boxes, but Edward stopped me by lightly touching my arm.

"It's okay, just leave them. I'll take care of it."

I gasped as realization hit me. "You work here?" He nodded, and I had to fight back a groan of frustration, to think that I used to pass outside of here, every day, completely oblivious. It was like the universe was playing a joke on me. And I was not amused. Why was it that when I finally got to see Edward again, I had to make a huge fool of myself?

"You must think I'm an idiot." I shook some stray pieces of cereal out of my hair, thinking I had to look like a complete mess.

"Why would I think that?" He gave me a curious look. When I could only shake my head in response, he hesitated a little. "Are you sure you're okay? You look a little pale."

"I'm always pale," I replied without thinking. Then I blushed. "Um, yeah, I'm fine. Thanks for asking, though." He nodded, but didn't look totally convinced. I bit my lip. "I should just-"

"Maybe you should eat something," he suggested, cutting me off mid-sentence. I quickly closed my mouth as he went on, "There's a McDonald's just across the street. I have a break in about five minutes, and I usually go over there for some coffee. If you want..." he stopped, looking embarrassed. "Never mind, I'm sure you don't-"

"I'd love to," I interrupted eagerly, looking him right in the eyes and hoping he could see my sincerity. Ignoring his doubtful expression, I added softly, "That would be really nice."

Less than ten minutes later, Edward and I made our way through the crowded place and finally found a free, very small table for two at the far side of the popular fast food restaurant. Edward had ordered a coffee and a double cheeseburger, and I ended up getting a sweet tea and a chocolate chip cookie.

After all, I never got my chocolate bar.

"So..." Edward awkwardly ran his hand through his hair, and I could tell he was desperately trying to come up with something to talk about. "How've you been since... well, you know, last time?"

_Oh, just slowly losing my mind._

Of course, I didn't say that. I nibbled on my cookie, searching my mind for an answer that wouldn't make me sound like a crazy person. "I've been good. Working a lot."

"Oh?" He removed the wrapper from his burger, but made no motion to start eating. "What do you do?"

"I work at Starbucks." I hesitated a little before I continued, carefully, "You know, I served your sister last week..." my voice trailed off, making it sound almost like a question.

"Really?" The look on his face told me this was the first time he had heard of it. "She didn't tell me."

I wanted to say I was surprised, but, well, I really wasn't. "I don't think your sister likes me that much." He glanced at me, eyes narrowing slightly, but didn't say anything. I started to feel uncomfortable by the whole thing and kind of wished I hadn't brought it up.

Edward changed the subject, much to my relief. "So, you're a fan of art?" I realized he was referring to where we first met.

A somewhat embarrassed chuckle escaped me. "Not exactly." I could see confusion on his face as he waited for me to elaborate. "Renee's the one who dragged me to that thing," I clarified, taking a small sip of my sweet tea.

He frowned. "Who's Renee?"

"That would be my mother." I sighed. "She's always been into those kind of things. It's not the art, per se, she just likes any opportunity to drink free champagne and mingle with the important people." I rolled my eyes as I made air quotes at the word 'important'.

"Huh." He was quiet for a moment, stirring his coffee. His burger was still sitting on the table in front of him, untouched. Finally, he spoke up again. "So how come you don't like art?"

I put my cup down. "Well, it's not that I have a problem with the art itself, I just don't agree with what it stands for." Edward nodded, but I could see he was lost. I blushed. "It's just the whole concept of creating beautiful things just for people to admire. I've always believed that true beauty can't be handmade. It just... is."

_Okay, how come that sounded so much better and less nerdy in my head?_

Edward cocked his head to the side and watched me intently, as if he was trying to read my mind. I felt my cheeks flush even more, if that was possible. Finally he leaned back in his seat and said, "You have a really interesting way of seeing things."

I snorted. "Is that your polite way of telling me I'm nuts?"

"No." He smiled before adding in an almost teasing voice, "Well, maybe."

"Well, thank you." I sighed in mock irritation, shaking my head and glancing at my watch. I was surprised to see that more than twenty minutes had passed since we arrived. "When do you have to be back at work?" I asked, not wanting to part from Edward just yet. I really enjoyed his company, and I wanted to know more about him. But I didn't want him to feel like I was just prying.

His eyes went to the large clock on the wall behind us. "Um, in a couple of minutes, actually." I noted that he sounded a little disappointed.

So was I, although I tried not to let it show. Instead, I forced a smile and gestured for his burger. "Aren't you gonna eat that? I'm sure it's getting cold by now."

"Oh. Right." He just looked at it, then back at me, and I could see conflict in his eyes. I got the feeling he regretted getting it, but I wasn't sure why. Finally, he mumbled something about not being hungry after all. I decided just to drop it, reluctantly following Edward's lead as he started to get up.

We were about to leave when a group of high school kids came heading our way, trays overloaded with food. They were loud and noisy, shoving each other as they walked. One of them stopped as they passed us and stared at Edward for a moment before whispering something to his friends. They all turned to look, not bothering to be discreet about it, and I saw how their eyes darted between me and Edward.

Then they started laughing and making pig noises as they finally kept going, all the while casting obnoxious looks our way.

I was appalled, and I was pretty sure it showed on my face. Edward glanced at me and sighed. "It's no big deal. Just let it go."

"No big deal?" I gave him an incredulous look. "Edward, how can you say that? I can't believe those little punks-"

"Bella." Something in Edward's voice made me stop in my ramblings and look at him. I could see a whirlwind of emotions flash across his face, shame and anger just being a few of them.

"If you think that was bad, imagine if they'd seen me eating that fucking burger. Look, I realize that was embarrassing for you, but you knew what you were getting yourself into when you agreed to come here with me." His face was now hard as stone, his eyes cold as ice. "This is who I am, Bella. People here aren't blind. I disgust them." Tears welled up in my eyes at his words, and my heart broke for him.

However, it didn't stop the rage already boiling inside me. "You think I'm upset because I'm embarrassed? That's not it at all! Those guys had no right to be so rude to you. It makes me furious and I just want to run after them and smash their ugly little faces in, but I can't do that, because then I'd just be arrested for assaulting minors. Anyway," I stopped briefly to catch my breath, "_that's_why I'm upset."

He opened his mouth and then closed it again, obviously at a loss for words. I hated the way things had turned out between us, and I didn't know how to make it all right again. And judging by Edward's expression, neither did he. He swallowed hard. "Let's just go, Bella."

"Okay." I lowered my eyes in defeat. Then an idea hit me. "Wait!" Quickly rummaging through my purse until I found what I was looking for - a pen - I then grabbed a clean napkin from the table. I wasn't brave enough to give Edward my phone number just yet, in case he would reject me, but I was sort of desperate and figured this had to be the second best thing- less pressure on both of us, anyway.

I cleared my throat and handed him the napkin. "Here's my email address. I really enjoyed talking to you, and I wouldn't mind doing it again, if you want, that is. But if you don't... never mind, just..." I told myself to stop babbling before I embarrassed myself even further, "...drop me a line," I finished, mentally cringing as I heard the pleading note in my voice.

Oh yeah, I _really_was pathetic. But I couldn't help it - it seemed to come naturally for me when Edward was involved.

As we parted, I realized I hadn't given him a chance to give me his email address in return. Once again, I was left with no way of contacting him. Sure, I knew where he worked now, but I wouldn't dare set my foot in that place again after my encounter with the evil cereal boxes from Hell.

I supposed that meant the ball was now in Edward's court. The question was, would he even care enough to make a move?


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Some of you have asked about my posting shcedule. My plan is to update about once a week, but right now, writing seems to come very easily for me - partly thanks to the large amount of reviews I've received so far, and partly just because I'm really burning for this story - so I may be able to post a little more often. I love reading your comments, so don't be afraid to keep them coming! Oh, and I would love to have a nice banner for this story. Is there anyone out there who would be willing to help me out?**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

**Bella**

When I hadn't heard anything from Edward in three days, I started to doubt I ever would. I tried not to fret about it, though, reminding myself that if Edward _wanted_to get in touch with me, he could. And if he didn't, well, then I just had to accept it; simple as that.

It sounded good in my head. But did my heart agree? Not so much.

"Why do guys have to be so complicated?" I all but whined to Angela Weber, who was working behind the counter with me that night. We used to go school together, although we wouldn't hang in the same crowd, so to speak. But she was one of the nicest and most honest people I knew, and I hoped she would not only take my question seriously, but also be able to provide me with an answer.

She laughed. "You don't think they say the same thing about us?"

"Point taken," I muttered, knowing she was probably right. I had filled Angela in about my dilemma without getting into details. Basically, she knew there was 'this guy', and that I would be satisfied with us just being friends for now, but I wasn't sure he was even interested in that much. And, of course, she knew his sister hated me; with a passion.

"Look, Bella." Angela sighed. "You can let all this drive you to the point of insanity, or you can accept it for what it is. If it's meant to be, it'll happen. Take me and Ben for example. We couldn't stand each other in the beginning, and look at us now." She got a dreamy smile on her face at the mention of her husband.

I grimaced. "I'm trying to just sit back and be patient, but it's hard, Angela. I get the feeling he actually _wants_to be friends, he just... I don't know. Maybe it's me. Maybe I've been coming on too strong. But it's not like I've been stalking him or anything. I mean, I did kind of run into him at work once, but that was totally unintentional. And besides..." I stopped with a groan. "God, I think I'm going crazy."

Angela just offered me a sympathetic smile before turning to a group of customers to take their orders. I did my best to keep my attention strictly on my tasks after that, keeping any further conversation to a minimum. Because in all honesty, I was a bit disappointed. I had been so certain Angela would cheer me up and make me feel better.

When I got home that night, I was stunned to see an email in my inbox from an EMasen86. I was afraid to get my hopes up, but it turned out I didn't have to be. It was from Edward.

**_Hi, Bella,_**

**_You said you wanted to talk some more. I'd like that._**

**_I'm sorry about the other night. I was embarrassed, and I took it out on you._**

**_I won't blame you if you have changed your mind by now._**

**_But if you still want to get to know me, drop me a line._**

**_-Edward__  
><em>**

I read the short message twice. Edward was obviously playing it safe - throwing the ball back to me - but it was still a huge step in the right direction, and I just couldn't stop smiling. Now I knew he wanted to keep in touch, and I couldn't really ask for more at this point.

This was the night our email correspondence began. I quickly typed back,

**_Hi, Edward,_**

**_I'm so happy to hear from you, I was starting to think you had decided to forget about me._**

**_Of course, I still want to get to know you!_**

**_You don't have to apologize and you shouldn't be embarrassed. You did nothing wrong._**

**_Can I ask you a question? __How old are you? And is Masen your last name?_**

**_-Bella__  
><em>**

I reluctantly hit 'send'. There were so many more things I wanted to ask him. I wanted to find out everything there was to know about Edward - but I was afraid of overwhelming him if I just threw it all at him at once. So I decided to be patient. Thankfully, it didn't take long before I received his response.

**_Bella,_**

**_Technically, that's two questions, but I won't hold it against you. :)_**

**_Yes, Masen is my last name. And I'm twenty-five. What about you?_**

**_Tell me about yourself._**

**_-Edward__  
><em>**

Edward wanted me to tell him about myself, so I did. I started by telling him about how my parents were divorced and that it was just me and Renee here in town. In turn, I learned that his father had died when Edward was sixteen, but he didn't offer me any details. Although, he did mention that he and his father had never been that close. I got the feeling it was a sensitive topic, so I didn't push him about it.

We also shared our opinions on music, TV-shows and movies, and it turned out our preferences were quite similar, which I thought was interesting. I found out Edward liked his job, but he wouldn't mind doing something else in the future, possibly something that involved computers. Then I asked him about friends.

_"I have friends,"_was his short response, and I worried that I had offended him. I hurried to write back, assuring him, I hadn't meant to indicate otherwise. Then I proceeded to tell him about Jessica and Lauren, and how I felt I didn't have much in common with most of the people I had been friends with since high school.

His response was immediate, straight to the point. _"If you feel that way, why are you still hanging out with them?"_

That was the million dollar question. For a couple of minutes, I just sat there staring at the screen, trying to sort out my thoughts enough to give Edward an acceptable explanation. But I came up blank.

When I failed to respond, Edward sent me another message, apologizing profusely for being so blunt. I could tell he thought he had insulted me, but that couldn't be farther from the truth. If anything, he had given me something to think about, which I told him, hoping he would see I was being sincere. To my relief, he seemed to understand.

Over the next two weeks, Edward and I continued to talk and trade information through emails, and I felt like we got a little closer every day. We had yet to meet again in person - I figured both of us were cautious to bring it up - but I knew I really wanted to see him again. And one night, I decided to stop beat around the bush and just ask him.

**_Edward,_**

**_I don't know about you, but I was thinking maybe we could do something._**

**_Like go out for coffee some time, or see a movie._**

**_Let me know what you think._**

**_-Bella__  
><em>**

I started to panic when he didn't answer right away. What if he thought I was being too forward? What if he said no? But when I finally got a response, I realized he was just as uncertain as me, if not more. And my heart ached for him when I read his message.

**_Bella,_**

**_Are you sure you want to go out in public with me again?_**

**_-Edward__  
><em>**

To be perfectly honest, I hadn't given Edward's weight another thought after we started to bond through our emails, but now it was getting painfully clear to me that his physical appearance was constantly on his mind. And his self-esteem was barely existent.

Okay, so he _was_big. My first impression had been that he was just a little overweight, but to be fair, that would be an understatement. I would never use the word 'fat', but I knew that's how some people would describe him. It was rude and hurtful, but people could be very cruel and thoughtless sometimes, my own mother being a good example of that.

I wanted to make Edward see that it didn't bother me, though. He was one of the sweetest guys I had ever met, and if I had any problem at all with his weight, it was simply the fact that I worried about his future health. But I figured he had to be aware of the risks, and I wasn't going to make him uncomfortable by bringing it up.

Besides, I knew what I was doing to my own body wouldn't exactly prove to be healthy in the long run, either. But I had always been good at pushing my problems aside. Or even better - flat out deny I had any. Sometimes, I really felt like a hypocrite.

Back to Edward, I couldn't deny that I found him attractive. Despite his massive body, he was extremely handsome, and his eyes... Well, I could just lose myself in them. Sadly, in my opinion, it had been way too long since I saw them, but that didn't mean they weren't permanently etched in my memory.

There was no doubt in my mind what I wanted, and I saw no reason not to tell Edward as much. _Yes, of course I'm sure,_I typed firmly in response to his question, wishing he could see the resolution on my face. His reply came after a moment. It was short, simple, and it nearly made my smile split my face in two.

**_Bella,_**

**_In that case, I'd love to do something with you._**

**_-Edward_**

We didn't make any specific plans that night, but we did end up exchanging phone numbers and agreed to get in touch the next day. I had to work until four thirty, and Edward had told me he never got home before five during the weeks, except for every other Wednesday, which was his day off.

So I waited until five fifteen before I called him. Edward picked up on the second ring, sounding slightly out of breath. "Bella?"

"Hi." Just hearing his voice brought a smile to my face. "I hope I'm not calling at a bad time."

"No, I just got home." Was it just wishful thinking, or did he sound excited to hear from me? My smile widened. There was a pause before Edward cleared his throat. "So, how was your day?"

"It was all right." I tried to recall if something special had happened at work, but the most exciting thing today was the installation of the new espresso maker, and I doubted Edward would find that very interesting. We exchanged a few more pleasantries, and then I decided to get to the point.

"So... are you busy tonight, or do you think maybe you want to meet up somewhere?" I held my breath, waiting for his response. A part of me feared he had changed his mind.

"What did you have in mind?" he asked, somewhat warily.

"Um..." I thought quickly. "Maybe we could go see a movie?"

There was a brief moment of silence before Edward spoke up, softly, "We could watch a movie here at my place if you want. I have a pretty big DVD collection - I'm sure we can agree on something we both like." I was just about to respond when he hurried on, nervously, "But if you'd rather go to a movie theater, that's okay. I didn't mean to assume-"

"No, that sounds great, and I'd love to see your place," I cut him off, unable to keep the excitement out of my voice. "Just give me directions, and I'll be there." I was thrilled that he had invited me over; although I had a feeling, the main reason was that he felt more comfortable with me in his own apartment than at a public movie theater.

From what I had gathered so far, Edward was pretty self-conscious, and I suspected he was afraid we might have a repeat of the humiliating incident at McDonalds. Hopefully it wouldn't come to that, but I hated the thought of him having to go through something like that again. I just wanted to protect him, but something told me his pride wouldn't allow it.

Edward explained the easiest way to drive to his place, and about twenty minutes later, I was standing outside his apartment, nervously waiting for him to let me in. When he opened the door, he gave me an almost shy smile, and I practically melted right there on the spot. Just like his eyes, Edward's smile left me completely mesmerized.

"Come on in." He took a step back, allowing me to enter.

"Thanks." I offered him a smile in return as I stepped inside. He gave me a quick tour - his apartment was bigger than mine, but not by much. The first thing I noticed was the grand, black, old-looking piano over by one of the windows, and I gave Edward a questioning look. "Do you play?"

For some reason, my question seemed to make him uncomfortable. "Sometimes," he mumbled, avoiding my eyes. I couldn't help but wonder what that was about, but decided not to dwell on it. Instead I walked over to a huge glass cabinet at the far side of the room, my eyes widening a little at the mass amount of DVD's inside. "Wow. You weren't kidding when you said you had a big collection."

He chuckled, instantly more at ease. "I know. To be honest, there are some of them I haven't even watched yet."

I grinned. "Well, pick one you haven't seen, then. I'm open for pretty much anything."

"Cool." He hesitated a little. "Um, do you want something to drink? I'd offer you a beer or some wine, but I know you're driving."

"Water's fine, thanks." I smiled, nodding towards the kitchen. "How about I'll just help myself, as long as you don't mind me searching through your kitchen cabinets for a glass? You can get the movie ready." When he nodded in agreement, I bit my lip. "Can I get you something while I'm in there? I don't mind if you want something stronger."

"That's okay; I'll just have some water as well." I started heading towards the kitchen when he called out, "Hey, there's an unopened bag of popcorn on the counter. You should find a bowl in one of the cabinets."

I nodded with a smile. "Got it." The idea of me and Edward spending the evening here in his apartment only seemed more appealing to me by the minute. This way, we would get a chance to really talk, face to face. The more I thought about it, the more excited I became, and I all but bounced into the kitchen.

It didn't take long for me to find the glasses. As I opened the large bag of popcorn and started pouring the contents into a big bowl, I thought I heard the sound of knocking, but I could be mistaken. I frowned, pretty certain Edward would have told me if he was expecting someone. But then I heard voices, coming from the other room.

When I tentatively returned with the water and popcorn, my eyes immediately found Edward, talking quietly to someone. The person was facing away from me, but I still recognized her. My stomach sank as the short, dark-haired girl turned around, confirming what I already knew.

Alice.

Her eyes narrowed dangerously when she spotted me. "What are you doing here?" she demanded in a hard voice, taking a step in my direction and crossing her arms over her chest.

For a brief moment, I actually felt intimidated by her. But then I got angry. "Well, _I_was invited," I told her firmly, my voice every bit as hostile as hers, and I made sure to put emphasis on the word 'I', raising a brow to indicate that she was the one who was imposing, not me. Then a part of me felt a little bad, because this was after all Edward's sister, but I quickly pushed the guilt aside, thinking she had it coming.

It wasn't like I had ever done anything to insult her. The way I saw it, Alice was completely out of line acting like this every time she saw me, and I had no idea what her problem was.

"I told you, Alice, this is not a good time." There was a hint of irritation in Edward's voice. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"But..." I could tell she was torn as her eyes darted from Edward to me, and then back at him again. "Edward, you don't know her. What if-"

"Hello? Standing right here," I muttered, offended by the way she talked about me like I wasn't in the room.

Edward glanced at me, opening his mouth, but Alice beat him to it, continuing like I hadn't interrupted. "Edward, she could be just like Vicky."

_Who?_

I looked at Edward for an explanation, but was instantly taken aback by his expression. Suddenly he looked very uncertain, glancing between Alice and me. She obviously noticed his hesitation, but instead of looking smug, like I had expected, I was surprised to see something close to pain flash across her face.

"Who's Vicky?" I asked quietly. When the two of them just looked at each other, as if they were having a silent conversation, I felt my apprehension grow. "Edward?" I pleaded.

He turned to look at me, but something had changed. All of a sudden, I felt like I was staring into the eyes of a complete stranger, and it scared me.

Because in that moment, I felt like I had lost him.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Even his voice was different, or maybe it was just me. "But I think you should leave."

My heart shattered at his request. I wanted to protest. Scream, cry, and beg him to take it back. But for some reason, my lips were incapable of forming the words. I swallowed hard, turning my stinging eyes to Alice. For a brief moment, I thought I saw a trace of guilt in her eyes. But I wasn't sure.

Suddenly I wasn't sure of anything. Least of all what had just happened.

"Do you really want me to go?" I whispered, hoping in vain that he would say he had changed his mind. But I could see on Edward's face that his mind was set. He just nodded. I inhaled shakily. "All right, I'll just..." my voice cracked, "I'll call you later?" When he didn't respond, just kept his eyes on the floor, I sighed in defeat and headed for the door.

As I heard the door close behind me, I felt like I had just left a piece of my heart in there with Edward. And it hurt. A lot.

I tried calling him a few hours later, but he didn't pick up, so I left him a message, asking him to get back to me. Asking him to explain, because I didn't understand. I waited, but he never called me back. So I sent him a text, asking him to tell me what was going on. I considered emailing him before I got to bed, but at the last second decided against it, thinking it would just make me look desperate.

And Edward clearly didn't want to talk to me. In my mind, I cursed and ranted, calling Alice every bad name in the book. This was all her fault. It had to be.

Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep that night. I worried about Edward, haunted by that lost and frightened look on his face. But I was also hurt. Deeply so.

I must have drifted off eventually, because I woke up the next morning feeling like crap, and I almost called in sick. But somehow, I forced myself to get up and hit the shower, and I all but dragged my body to work. I had checked my phone several times, the last of my hope disappearing when I realized I had no messages.

As the day proceeded, my pain slowly turned into anger. Why was Edward doing this to me? I had thought we were becoming friends. But friends didn't ignore each other this way. Had I really been so wrong about him?

Then my anger faded a little, and I told myself to give him a chance. Maybe he just needed some space. Maybe there would be an email from Edward in my inbox when I got home that night that would explain everything. It was quite possible that I was just overreacting.

But deep down, I knew things wouldn't be that simple.

"What's wrong, Bella?" Angela asked when I had mixed up my orders for the third time in a row, the concern evident in her voice. I just shook my head, not feeling like talking. She tried getting me to open up a few more times before finally giving up, leaving me to stew in my misery and wallow in self-pity.

And I ended up feeling more pathetic than ever.

It seemed like my shift would never end. But finally, after what felt like days, I could go home, only to curl up on the couch with a pint of Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia. It didn't take long for me to finish the ice-cream, and when I was done, I instantly felt disgusted by myself for binging like that. I ran to the bathroom, not hesitating before shoving two fingers down my throat and emptied my stomach in the toilet.

Then I flushed with a grimace and rinsed my mouth. When I cast a look at my reflection in the mirror, I immediately wished I hadn't. I was a complete mess. After washing my face and pulling my tangled hair back in a ponytail, I felt slightly better.

That's when there was a knock on the door. I groaned, seriously considering ignoring it, since I was certain it would be Renee. My mother had never seen anything wrong with just showing up at my doorstep without calling first. And I really didn't feel like dealing with her right now.

Another knock, hard and demanding. I sighed. Why couldn't she just leave me alone? Suddenly, I was more annoyed than anything else, and I strode over to the door and flung it open. "Look, Mom, this is really not..." I started, only to stop dead in my tracks when I realized it wasn't my mother on the other side after all.

My eyes widened in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**Bella**

"Bella…" Alice started, but I refused to give her the upper hand, even for a second.

"How the hell did you know where I live?" I demanded, folding my arms across my chest. She had a lot of nerve showing up here. And I was pissed off.

She nodded slowly, like she had expected that reaction. "I went to see you at work. One of the girls - I think her name was Anna, no, Angela - told me where to find you. Look, I-"

"She had no right to do that," I growled. Alice opened her mouth, but I cut her off, "I don't wanna hear it. You're just wasting your time. You should leave."

"Yes, I probably should." She sighed. "Listen, Bella, I realize you don't want me here. I don't blame you. All I ask is for you to hear me out. I want to explain some things to you. Just give me five minutes of your time. Please?"

I wanted to say no, tell her straight out to go to hell. But I noted she didn't appear to be angry. If anything, she looked sad, and my anger submitted to curiosity. Also, I couldn't help but wonder...

"Is Edward okay?" I asked quietly. A part of me wished I didn't care. I was still upset with him.

Alice closed her eyes for a moment, then nodded. "Edward's fine. But..." she hesitated a little. "Actually, he feels really bad about what happened yesterday. He thinks he hurt your feelings." She sounded uncertain, which only fueled my irritation.

"He _thinks_?" I stared at her incredulously. "You can just tell him-"

"Bella," Alice cut me off, and something in her voice kept me from slamming the door in her face. "You don't know the whole story."

"You're right. And whose fault is that?" I glared at her. "Are you gonna tell me about Vicky? You don't know me, Alice. Not at all. And still you compared me to someone you and Edward obviously have a problem with. Why? What did I ever do to deserve that?"

She was quiet for a moment, a torn expression on her face. Then her shoulders slumped in defeat. "Can I please come in?" she asked in a small voice, not sounding anything like her usual cold self.

It was the pained look in her eyes, along with her 'please', that finally made me take a step back and allow her to enter. In that moment, she reminded me of Edward, and I felt like Alice was my only link to him. For a second I told myself it didn't matter, that I had no interest in ever seeing Edward again.

Except it wasn't true.

So I reluctantly surrendered and invited Alice inside. She gave me a grateful smile - which I ignored - and followed me over to the couch. I sat down without a word, gesturing for her to do the same. Then I raised a brow expectantly. "Well? You had something to say? Then say it."

_And then get out._

Alice sighed, looking down at her hands. "Bella, you have to understand my side of things. Edward's my older brother. I..." she raised her head, "I know I'm being judgmental but I can't help it. I mean, look at Edward. And look at you." She must have seen the anger on my face because she hurried on, "Okay, that didn't come out right. I love my brother, all right? I can't stand the thought of him getting hurt."

"That makes two of us," I muttered, rolling my eyes. "Alice, I have no intention of hurting Edward. I care about him. But tell me something. He _really_ hurt my feelings yesterday. And so did you. How is that okay, and not the other way around? Do you realize it makes you come out as a total hypocrite? Edward too."

"Please don't blame Edward." Her eyes were suddenly shining with unshed tears. "Here's the thing, Bella. Edward is a good guy. He deserves nothing but the best. But people don't see him for who he is. They just see what he looks like. That's the way it's always been. He's used to it, but that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him." She took a shaky breath. "I'm just trying to protect him."

In a way, I could understand her reasoning. But at the same time, I couldn't. Because she was doing the exact same thing she accused other people of doing. She was judging me by my appearance, without even trying to get to know me. How was that fair?

"If you had just given me a chance, you'd realize you don't have to protect Edward from me," I told her truthfully, suddenly feeling very tired. "Alice, I get what you're trying to do, but it's not right. Don't you see? I'm not just talking about the fact that you're totally stepping on other people in the process. How do you expect anyone to truly get to know Edward if you're constantly there, scaring them away?"

Her eyes widened and she looked like someone had just punched her in the stomach. "I didn't mean-"

I didn't let her finish. "Maybe not, but that's exactly what you're doing. Really, Alice. Your heart may be in the right place, but you're not being fair to Edward, or anyone else, for that matter." I had to admit it felt good, saying all these things. She definitely needed to hear it. But I couldn't help but feel a small pang in my chest when a tear trickled down her face.

"I swear, I never meant..." She quickly brushed the tear away. "Edward's always been there for me, ever since we were kids. He always had my back, now I have his. I don't care what people think of me. I'm okay with them hating me. They can say whatever they want about me, call me a stupid bitch for all I care, as long as they don't hurt my brother."

Okay, it was getting really difficult for me to stay mad at her when she was saying things like that. Her methods were a bit extreme, but I started to realize there was more to Alice than I had first though. Maybe she wasn't so cold and uncaring after all. I let out a sigh of frustration, not sure how to respond to her revelation.

Suddenly things started to make more sense to me. "Someone really hurt Edward in the past," I mumbled, almost to myself. I knew I was right, even before Alice nodded in confirmation. I bit my lip. "Vicky?" She nodded again. "Tell me what happened?"

I could see conflict in her eyes - it wasn't her story to tell. "Bella, I... You need to ask Edward about that. I'm sorry."

"Does he even _want_ to talk to me?" I asked softly. A part of me thought I already knew the answer, but I had to ask.

"Yes." Alice looked me right in the eyes. "But I'm pretty sure he won't come to you. He's too ashamed. After what happened, he's convinced you don't want to see him again." She swallowed. "Do you?"

My heart was screaming 'yes', but something held me back. I could understand Edward's behavior now, but I was still hurt by his actions. I wanted him to feel like he could trust me, but could _I _trust _him_ not to push me away again? I honestly didn't know. As much as I wanted to just say 'hell with it' and run to him, I couldn't. At least not right away.

"I need some time," I told her quietly. "Do you think he can be patient with me? I meant it when I said I care about him, but I..." I shrugged helplessly. "I guess I'm just confused. It's been a long day, you know?" She nodded in understanding. Something just occurred to me. "Hey, what made you decide to come here? Why did you change your mind?"

"Because..." Alice hesitated for a moment. "Edward and I sort of got in a fight after you left. He was mad at me, and rightfully so, but he was also mad at himself. Look, I can see in his eyes that he truly cares about you, he just doesn't know if he can trust you. Part of that is my fault for placing doubt in his mind in the first place. But it's hard for him, Bella. You need to have a little patience with him as well."

Then she mumbled something I couldn't quite make out. I frowned. "What did you say?"

She sighed. "I said, I came here because I needed to see if I had misjudged you."

My eyes narrowed at her admission. A part of me had to admire her honesty, another part was annoyed - not to mention offended - that her motive seemed to have simply been selfish. "So you didn't come here to apologize for your behavior?"

Her eyes shot to mine and she suddenly looked like a deer caught in the headlight. "Bella, I realize I was out of line, and for that I'm sorry. I can see I was wrong about you. But I meant what I said before. I can live with people hating me. I didn't come here to ask for your forgiveness. To be honest, I'm not sure I deserve it. You don't owe me anything, but there is one thing I need to ask of you."

I gave her a wary look, not sure what to think. "What's that?"

Once again, her eyes welled up. "Don't punish Edward because you're mad at me. If you can't find it in your heart to give him a second chance, then at least be honest about it. Don't lead him on." She swallowed visibly. "I know you said it wasn't your intention, and I believe you. But please don't hurt my brother because of me."

I suddenly felt like crying. "I would never do that," I whispered.

Her relief was palpable, and she nodded in acceptance. "Thank you." She paused for a few seconds. "I should go now. Thanks for listening - you didn't have to, but I really appreciate it. I'll see myself out." Before I got the chance to say anything, she was up and heading for the door. I didn't try to stop her.

I slept a little better that night than I had the night before, but not by much. I was conflicted. Was it selfish of me to tell Alice I needed time? Should I try calling Edward again, since, according to Alice, he would most likely not seek me out? I _wanted_ to call him. Not only did I miss him, but I also felt bad for him. Sure, his actions still stung, but I understood him better now. Clearly, he had just been afraid.

I could relate to that.

What was more important? My bruised ego and wounded pride, or my friendship with Edward? Putting it that way, my hesitation seemed stupid. At first I had just wanted him to feel sorry and remorseful for throwing me out like that. But then I asked myself what bothered me the most - that he had told me to leave, or that he wouldn't return my phonecalls. I realized it was no doubt leaning towards the latter.

Why wouldn't he just talk to me, instead of avoiding me like this?

Suddenly I remembered Alice saying she didn't think she deserved my forgiveness. Did Edward feel the same way? When you were looking at the bigger picture, was there even anything to forgive? Maybe Alice and Edward had both made some mistakes, but did that automatically make them bad people?

I didn't think so.

Okay, so I still didn't know what to make of Alice, and I seriously doubted we would ever become best friends or anything. Yet I had to respect her. She knew her behavior would make people turn their back on her, and she accepted it selflessly. Her brother was her first priority. Could I really fault her for that?

A vision of Edward's haunted eyes flashed through my mind, and I had my answer right there. In that moment, I made my decision. To hell with needing more time. I would drive over to Edward's place tonight, after my shift ended. Hopefully he would be home. And if he was, I wouldn't leave until we had straightened things out between us, once and for all.

"You seem to be in a better mood today," Angela observed, watching me closely as I was putting on my apron, tying it behind my back. I shrugged and managed a smile. She gave me a curious look. "Does that mean things are going better with that guy? What was his name again? Edward?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but to be honest, I still don't know where we stand right now. We had... sort of a misunderstanding the other day, and we haven't talked since. But I saw his sister yesterday, and she kind of hinted that he wanted us to sort things out, so..." I shrugged again.

"I thought you said his sister didn't like you?" Angela sounded confused.

"I don't know." I sighed. "She was the one who came to me and wanted to talk, and she admitted that she had been wrong about me. But I still don't think she likes me that much. I guess you could say we came to an understanding, of sorts."

"Oh." She nodded in understanding. "Well, that's good, right? So when are you going to see Edward again? It sounds like the two of you need to sit down and have a serious talk."

"You're right, we do." I put my hair in a ponytail to keep it away from my face while I was working. "I plan to go over to his place tonight, when I get out of here."

The next couple of hours went by pretty quickly, even though things were kind of quiet at the coffee shop. The place was never empty, but today seemed to be a lot calmer than normal. I figured it was a good thing, seeing how I managed to spill half a gallon of milk in the kitchen, which took me almost ten minutes to mop up.

Suddenly Angela came bursting into the kitchen, calling out my name. "Bella, there's someone here to see you."

"Be right there." I looked around with a frown. "Wait. Where did I put the paper cups?"

"I'll get them. Just go." Angela waved her hand impatiently, her eyes sparkling. "Hurry! You don't wanna keep him waiting."

_Him?_

I raised a brow in question. "Angela? Who did you say was here?"

"I didn't say." A grin started to spread on her face. "I don't know him. But he said his name was Edward."

_Edward was here?_

My heart instantly started beating faster and I almost tripped myself in my eagerness to get back out into the shop. Angela didn't say anything, but I didn't miss her amused expression as I rushed past her. There were no other people waiting in line and I spotted Edward right away, standing a bit to the side and looking quite nervous.

I slowly made my way over to him, suddenly feeling nervous as well. "Hi," I said softly.

"Hi." He was quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry to show up like this. If you're busy..." his voice trailed off as he looked around, only a handful of people spread around the room and most of the tables empty.

"No, it's okay." I glanced at Angela, who had followed me back out and was now making herself busy wiping off the counter and pretending she wasn't looking. Rolling my eyes, I called out for her, "Hey, Angela, I'm gonna take my break now. Okay?" She just nodded in acceptance, and I turned back to Edward. "So..."

"So..." He cleared his throat. "I was hoping we could talk."

"All right." I hesitated a little. "Mind if we go for a walk? I could use some fresh air."

"Sure," he agreed immediately, sounding relieved, and I got the feeling he had expected me to turn him down. Once we were outside, we walked a few minutes in silence before Edward finally spoke up again, "Look, Bella, about the other day... I'm sorry. You left me all these messages, and I just..." he shook his head. "You must think I'm a complete idiot. I'm surprised you even agreed to talk to me."

"Edward..." I sighed. "I don't think you're an idiot. But you hurt me - I'm not going to deny that. I was really looking forward to spending the evening with you, and then your sister showed up and you practically threw me out without as much as an explanation. If you ask me, that was just plain rude."

He lowered his eyes to the ground in shame. "I know."

"But," I went on in a firm voice, daring him to interrupt before I was finished, "I sort of understand now. Did Alice tell you she came to see me?"

Glancing briefly at me, he then looked away again. "Yeah. Sorry about that. I promise, I had nothing to do with it."

"I didn't think so." I let out a gust of air. "Edward, I'm confused. What are we, exactly? I mean, I thought we were friends, but... Is that what you want? If you don't trust me-"

"It's not you, Bella." Finally he raised his head and our eyes met. Suddenly he just looked sad. "You've been nothing but nice to me, and I wish..." He let out a frustrated sigh. "You haven't given me any reason to doubt your intentions, but..." he closed his eyes for a moment, obviously having a hard time to find the right words. "It's just that I trusted someone before." He swallowed. "It ended badly."

I had a feeling I knew where this was heading. "Let me guess. Vicky?" He nodded with a grimace. "Wanna tell me about it?" I asked carefully, not wanting to overstep my bounds. Seeing the uncertain look on his face, I hurried to add, "We don't have to talk about it right now. But will you at least tell me some day?"

"Yeah, all right. If you really want to hear it." There was a moment of silence before he went on, a hopeful note in his voice, "Does that mean you forgive me? Can we start over?"

"I'd like that," I told him sincerely, watching his face brighten with happiness, and it hit me just how much courage it must have taken for him to come here today. We kept walking quietly for a while, just around the block, since I couldn't be away from work too long. But I really wished I didn't have to go back.

I caught Edward watching me a few times when he thought I wasn't looking, and I got the feeling he had something else on his mind. But for some reason, he seemed hesitant to bring it up. I spotted a bench about thirty feet away, and suggested we'd sit for a few minutes before we needed to head back. Edward didn't seem to mind.

As we went over to the bench and sat down, Edward kept glancing at me, and I couldn't decide whether to wait him out, or just ask him straight out if something was wrong. But before I had made up my mind, he finally spoke, softly, "Don't take this the wrong way. But I need to know. Why would you wanna be friends with someone like me?"

I felt a stab in my chest at his question, because I could tell this was seriously boggling his mind - he just couldn't understand it. "Why wouldn't I? Please, Edward, don't talk like that."

"Like what?" There was a hint of genuine confusion in his voice.

"Like there's something wrong with you." I tentatively reached out to place my hand on his arm. "Edward, I like you. Do you like me?" A snort escaped him.

"Yes, Bella, I like you. That's the problem." He looked me right in the eyes, and I didn't think I had ever seen anyone look so vulnerable before. "You're beautiful, but I'm sure you're aware of that. And you're nice, and sweet, and..." he shook his head in defeat. "I'm attracted to you, all right? Very much so. But it doesn't matter, because you will never feel the same way. How could you? Just look at me."

"Stop it," I gasped, appalled that he would put himself down like that. "Seriously, there's nothing wrong with-"

"Are you fucking blind?" he snapped, rolling his eyes and turning his face away. I just wanted to cry. The fact that he would think, even for a second, that he wouldn't be worthy of me just because of the way his body looked, it broke my heart into tiny little pieces.

"Edward..." my voice broke and I took a deep breath, starting over, "Edward, look at me, please." When he finally obeyed, I placed my hand gently on his cheek, forcing him to meet my eyes. "Look, I know you've been hurt before, and I'm sorry about that. But I'm not like her, Edward. Whatever she did... You were too good for her. I promise, I will not hurt you like that. I will not hurt you at all. Ever."

I watched his Adam's apple bob, but he remained silent. Encouraged when he didn't object, I continued softly, "I'm not blind, Edward. I see you. I see the real you, and you're beautiful, outside as well as inside. I mean that, from the bottom of my heart." A pause. "And I'm attracted to you, too." I gave him a watery smile as I added, "Very much so."

For the longest time, Edward just stared at me, his eyes burning into mine as if he was trying to see into my very soul. I met and held his gaze, willing him to see I meant every word. Then he sucked in a deep, shaky breath. "You really mean that," he finally mumbled, not a question, but a state of fact. Then he shook his head, like it made absolutely no sense to him, but he couldn't deny the truth he saw in my eyes.

"I do," I nodded, grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." He cocked his head to the side, watching me intently as he ran his thumb tenderly over my knuckles, caressing my skin.

Then he let out a chuckle, but the uncertainty was evident in his voice as he spoke, "You know, a part of me is waiting for you to start laughing and tell me this is all just a joke. But when I look into your eyes..." He slowly raised his hand, reaching out towards my face, and I saw the way his fingers were trembling as they came closer, as in slow motion.

I instinctively closed my eyes.

"I trust you, Bella," he whispered huskily, his fingers brushing ever so gently against my cheek. I exhaled, beyond grateful we were sitting down, because in that moment, I was certain my legs would've given out in pure relief. Edward trusted me.

_That's good, but can you trust him?_ a little voice whispered inside my head. I frowned, and my eyes snapped open.

Somehow, it seemed like Edward could read my mind. "I know I hurt you the other day," he mumbled, and I could see the pain on his face. "I'm so sorry. It won't happen again, I promise."

And just like that, I believed him. I managed a small, but genuine, smile.

"So..." he cleared his throat. "Maybe, if you're not busy or anything, you would give me the honor of taking you out for dinner on Saturday?" He sounded nervous, but also hopeful.

My smile widened. "Well, technically, you already owe me a date." He looked confused for a second, and then realization seemed to hit him as he clearly remembered our first encounter outside the art gallery all those weeks ago.

"_So, Bella, if I seem like such a nice guy to you, would you go out with me?"_

"_Yes."_

He gave me a sheepish smile. "Sorry about that." I just waved my hand in dismissal. "So is that a yes? I can take you out?"

I beamed at him. "It's a yes. Absolutely."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Bella**

"I have absolutely nothing to wear," I grumbled to myself as I rummaged through my closet. It wasn't really true, though - I owned more clothes than I needed, but right now, I couldn't find a single shirt I wanted to wear on my date with Edward. I would go for jeans, as usual, but I needed to find a top that wouldn't make me look under-dressed, since I had no idea where Edward planned to take me.

I couldn't remember ever being this excited about a date before, not even back when I was a sophomore and went out with the most popular guy in school - Jimmy Harper - for a week or so, before he ended things by brutally informing me he was tired of waiting for me to 'put out'. Two days later, I heard on the grapevine that he had moved on to Lauren.

Which would be another reason why I couldn't stand her.

Thinking back now, I knew whatever I had felt for Jimmy was nothing more than a silly crush. But at the time, I had been completely heartbroken.

The humiliation of being dumped...

I found myself wondering if Edward and I would have dated, had we gone to school together. A part of me doubted it. I might not have been overly shallow as a teenager, especially not compared to other girls my age, but - as ashamed as I was to admit it - there was a time when I had found my so called friends' opinions more important than my own. And, sadly, they never would've accepted Edward.

It made me both sad and angry, thinking about how superficial people could be.

Some might call me a hypocrite, seeing how obsessed I was with my own weight, but it was not the same thing. I didn't like my body. I knew I was too skinny, and I hated it. It had never been about losing weight because I thought it would make me look better. It was all about that evil little word. Control. As long as I had it, I would be okay.

Somehow, I forced my troubled thoughts aside and turned my focus back to what was important - my date with Edward. He would come pick me up at seven, which was less than an hour from now, and then we would go... well, I still didn't know. Sighing in frustration, I finally settled for a cute black top with a V-neck. It had half-long sleeves, which would cover up most of my arms.

Once I had decided on an outfit, it didn't take very long for me to get ready. I sat on the couch, waiting for Edward to show up. And that's when my phone started ringing. For a moment, I panicked, certain it was Edward calling to cancel. But then I looked at the display and realized it was just Renee.

I groaned in annoyance - I was not in a mood for this. For a brief second, I seriously considered just ignoring her call, but then I would just get to hear it the next day. So I took a deep breath and pressed the button. "Hi, Mom."

"Hi, sweetie." It sounded like she was in a good mood. "Are you at home?"

"Yeah, but not for long." I was unable to keep the smile from spreading on my face. "I have a date tonight."

"A date?" There was a hint of surprise in her voice. I couldn't blame her - the last time I went on a date was over six months ago. "Oh, well, that's great. Anyone I know?"

"No." I rolled my eyes. "Well, actually, you've seen him. We met a couple of weeks ago, at the-"

She cut me off, "How nice. Listen, Isabella, the reason I called was because I was hoping you could be my chauffeur tonight. I'm meeting up with some of the girls from my yoga class, and we're going to have some drinks at that new cocktail bar. But if you're really busy..." she left the rest of the sentence hanging, sounding like she hoped I would simply offer to change my plans.

Like that would ever happen. I suppressed a snort. This was so typical my mother.

"Yes, I am, like I said. Sorry." I wasn't really sorry at all, though. She could afford to take a cab. More often than not, I felt like I was the parent and Renee the child. And it was starting to get really old.

There was a deep sigh on the other end. "I see. Well, I hope you'll have fun on your date." The way she said it, I felt like she was playing on my conscience, and knowing my mom, she probably was. But I refused to let her get to me. I reminded myself that she wasn't deliberately trying to be mean, she was just very self-centered. Deep down, I knew she loved me. In her own way.

"Thanks, Mom." I pretended I hadn't caught her subtle attempt to guilt-trip me. "I'm sure I will. You have fun tonight, too. I'll talk to you soon."

_Just not too soon,_ I thought as I hung up, then instantly felt a little bad. After all, she was my mother.

Who just happened to be very good at getting on my nerves whenever I talked to her.

It seemed like I ended the call just in time, because no more than a minute later, there was a knock on the door.

_Edward._

I tried to appear mature and collected as I went to open, but had a feeling I was failing miserably. Edward was standing on the other side, looking both nervous and excited when he saw me. "Hi." Somewhat awkwardly, he held out a single, dark red rose with a long stem. "Um, this is for you."

Yes, I melted at the spot. So sue me.

"It's beautiful!" I brought the flower to my nose and sniffed it, only to prick myself on a thorn, but luckily not hard enough to break the skin. "Ouch. Dammit..." I blushed. "I mean, thank you so much. I'll just go put it in water, and I'm ready to go." I suddenly remembered my manners. "Oh, um, unless you want to come in for a moment? I could give you the tour."

"Oh, well, if you don't mind, I'll take a rain-check on that." He smiled adorably. "Actually, I've made reservations - we should probably get going as soon as possible."

"Of course. Just give me a second, I'll be right back." I rushed into the kitchen with the rose, quickly rummaging through the cupboards in search for something I could use as a vase, and returned a moment later, just barely remembering to lock up behind me as I grinned expectantly at Edward. "Okay, I'm all yours. Lead the way."

"My pleasure." He hesitated a little before offering me his arm, which I happily accepted. Then he led me to his car - a silver Volvo - and I practically swooned when he politely opened the door to the passenger side and held it open for me. My heart was beating rapidly as I slipped inside.

_Such a gentleman._

The restaurant was perfect. Really, there was no other way to describe it. It was fancy, but not to the point where you'd feel uncomfortable and almost afraid to open the menu. There was a huge fireplace in the middle of the room, and I fell in love with it right away. The tables were far enough from each other to give us a feeling of privacy, and I smiled gratefully at Edward when he pulled out my chair.

It didn't take long before our waiter showed up. He introduced himself as Mike and started to tell us about tonight's specials. It all sounded very good and I found it more than a little hard to choose, but finally decided to try the _Herb Roasted Chicken & Shrimps_. Edward ordered the _Grilled Pork Chop_. We both asked for a glass of wine.

As we waited for our food, Edward and I fell into a comfortable conversation, sharing funny stories about work. Time seemed to fly, and before we knew it, the food had arrived. I felt my mouth water as the waiter put our plates down in front of us, politely wishing us a pleasant meal. His eyes lingered on me a little too long for my liking, but I pushed the discomfort away, telling myself I was overreacting.

The food was delicious, just like I had expected. I barely had to chew the chicken, seeing how it practically melted in my mouth, and I loved the taste in combination with the shrimps. Taking a small sip of my wine, I smiled at Edward. "This is just amazing. I can't believe I've never been here before. How did you find this place?"

He cut a piece of grilled meat, impaling it on his fork. "It was one of my friends who recommended it. He said he's taken his girlfriend here a couple of times."

"Oh." I nodded in understanding. "Well, I love it. The food is absolutely wonderful."

Edward looked quite pleased by my approval. "I'm glad you like it."

"So..." I took another bite of my chicken. "Tell me more about your friends. Will I get to meet them some time?"

"That depends." He raised a brow. "How brave are you?"

"Uh-oh, not sure I like the sound of that." I laughed, somewhat nervously. "Should a be afraid?" He nodded, but I could tell he was struggling to keep a straight face. I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, right! I bet they are just as nice and sweet as you. Why else would you be friends with them?"

"True." Edward chuckled. "Yeah, they're cool. I think you'd like them." He paused. "Actually, you might get a chance to meet them soon. Alice is planning to throw a dinner party next weekend, and she specifically told me to invite you."

Seeing the way my eyes widened slightly, he hurried to add, "It would just be a small get-together. Just you, me, Alice and her husband Jasper, and probably Emmett and Rosalie. Emmett's the friend I mentioned, who told me about this place. Rosalie is his girlfriend, and also Jasper's twin sister."

I was quiet for a moment, absorbing this new information. Alice was married? Somehow, I just couldn't picture it in my mind. She seemed so... young.

Edward must have misread my silence, because he lowered his eyes, looking dejected. "It was just a thought. You don't have to come."

"Oh, no, that's not..." I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "Edward, it's not that I don't want to go. That's not it at all. I just wouldn't want to impose."

He raised his head, a look of confusion on his face. "How could it be imposing if you were invited?"

"I don't know." I started to feel stupid. "I just didn't think Alice... I mean..." It was my turn to look away in embarrassment. "I know we sort of cleared the air, but I was under the impression I'm still not on the list of Alice's favorite people."

Edward sighed. "Yeah, I can see why you'd feel that way. But she wouldn't have asked me to bring you unless she was trying to make an effort. She knows how I..." his voice trailed off and he suddenly looked uncomfortable.

I suspected Edward had been about to say 'how I feel about you', and tried to ignore the excitement bubbling up inside me. Instead I cleared my throat, struggling not to grin like an idiot. "Well, then, in that case I'd love to come." A thought occurred to me and I suddenly became nervous again. "Wait. Should I prepare myself for some kind of interrogation?"

"What? No!" I gave him a doubtful look and he let out another sigh, this time in defeat. "Probably. You want me to tell Alice you can't make it? I don't mind."

"No." I shook my head, hating myself for putting that disappointed look on his face, even for a second. "I'll be there. Really, I can handle your sister." I did my best to sound confident.

"I'll talk to her, all right?" The relief was evident in his voice. "I'll make sure she'll behave." I managed a small smile in response.

Our waiter - Mike - chose that moment to come over, asking if we enjoyed the food and offering to refill our wine glasses. I would have been grateful for the distraction, had it not been for the way he kept staring at me, with an almost wistful look on his face. It made me really uncomfortable, and I was relieved when he left.

Edward looked after Mike with a frown on his face, but then turned back to me. "Would you like some dessert? Emmett says their vanilla cream pie is to die for." A pause. "Then again, he says that about pretty much anything with sugar in it."

I forced a giggle, although it came out more than a little strained. Edward couldn't possibly understand the panic that threatened to well up inside me at the word 'dessert'. As much as I enjoyed ice-cream, cake and pie, it always left me feeling guilty, not to mention disgusted, once I was finished. And it always ended the same way - me kneeling on the floor with my head down the toilet.

But I couldn't do that tonight. I couldn't sully my date with Edward by turning it into something gross and shameful. It was bad enough that the delicious food I had just eaten was already starting to feel like a heavy stone inside my stomach, and I had to fight back the urge to get rid of it.

It was wrong. Twisted and abnormal. I knew I shouldn't feel guilty for eating. But I couldn't help it. I felt like my self-control was slipping through my fingers a little more by each second, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. It was all in my head - I knew that as well. But it felt so damn real. It was sickening.

Before I even realized I had moved, I was out of my seat. Edward looked surprised. "Are you okay?"

I nodded, thinking quickly. "Yeah, sure. I just need to, um, visit the ladies' room. I'll be right back." He still looked somewhat confused, but nodded in acceptance. It took just about all the willpower I possessed not to start running. Instead I forced myself to walk calmly towards the restrooms.

Luckily there were no people in line. Once inside, I hurried to lock the door and then turned the faucet on, splashing some cold water on my face. It took a few minutes, but then I actually started to feel a little better. At least I no longer felt an almost desperate need to shove my fingers down my throat. Maybe I would be okay after all. I took a couple of deep breaths.

That's when I started to get mad at myself. This was totally unfair to Edward. Here he was, inviting me out for a nice dinner and even nicer company, and I had to go and almost ruin it because of my... issues. It was stupid, pathetic, and he sure deserved better. It was insane, really, how he had worried about not being worthy of me, when it was the other way around. I was a wreck.

If I only knew how to stop this madness. There had to be a way.

Deciding I just needed another moment to collect myself, I reached into my purse and pulled out a hair brush. My hair looked okay, but I still took my time running the brush through it, trying to ignore the way my fingers trembled. Then I reapplied my lip gloss, looked into the mirror and plastered a smile on my face.

I finally left the ladies' room, eager to get back to Edward, only to almost walk straight into Mike. A gasp of surprise escaped me. He instantly held up his hands in an apologetic gesture. "I'm sorry, Miss. I was just... I mean, I couldn't help but notice you had been in there for quite some time. Is everything all right?"

My eyes narrowed suspiciously. "You know, you really take the concept of tending to your customers a bit too far."

Mike had the decency to look a little embarrassed, and for the first time tonight, I really took in his appearance. He looked to be in his late twenties, about five feet ten with spiky, pale blond hair, and I figured some girls would describe him as cute. However, he was not my type. At all.

"Hey, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he hurried to assure me even as his eyes wandered over my body, lingering on my chest, and I think I threw up a little in my mouth. "I was just hoping to catch you, since I wanted to ask you something." I raised a brow in question, giving him the least encouraging look I could muster. "Right, um... would you like to go out with me some time?"

Was this guy for real? I shook my head in disbelief. "You're asking me out? You don't even know my name!" He opened his mouth, but I went on, "My God, do you even realize how inappropriate this is? I'm here with someone for crying out loud!"

"Yeah, but..." Mike let out a nervous chuckle. "Come on! Don't tell me that guy is actually your date. I mean, he is... and you are..." he stopped, clearly taking in my dead serious expression. "For real?" he asked, sounding completely astonished. "Wow. Okay, this is kind of awkward. I just figured you two were, like, brother and sister or something."

I closed my eyes for a moment, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, and I wondered with a sinking feeling if this was what it was like for Edward all the time. No one ever taking him seriously, judging him by the way he looked without even trying to get to know him. Was I really the only person in this town who was actually capable of looking beyond appearances and see the person within?

What was wrong with these people?

Seeing my reaction, Mike obviously realized he had messed up for real. "Look, I apologize. I shouldn't have made assumptions like that. Really, it was not my intention to offend you." He paused. "Or your... date. I'm really sorry. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you..." he kept on rambling, but I had stopped listening.

Too upset to even acknowledge his lame attempt of an apology, I just turned around and left. When I finally made it back to Edward, he immediately noticed something was wrong. "Bella, what...?"

"Can we please leave?" The tears were burning in my eyes, although I stubbornly tried to blink them away. "I'm sorry, Edward, I know this doesn't make any sense, but I don't want to stay here another minute. I promise to explain once we're outside." I silently begged him to just humor me - I didn't expect him to understand.

"Sure, Bella. Whatever you want." He looked around the room, no doubt searching for Mike so he could give us the check, and I cringed at the thought of seeing that jerk again. But thankfully, he didn't say anything to me as he just accepted Edward's card with a polite nod. In fact, he wouldn't even look me in the eyes.

I wasn't really surprised when Edward offered to take me home as soon as we had left the restaurant. He probably thought I wanted to get away from him, but nothing could be further from the truth. I sighed. And to think that the evening had started out so well. I glanced hopefully at Edward. "Do you mind if we go for a walk? I owe you an explanation."

He nodded, if somewhat cautiously. "All right."

As we started walking, it suddenly hit me that Edward had just taken the check and paid for both of us. And I hadn't even thanked him. I let out a groan. "You must think I'm a horrible person."

"Why would I think that?" He sounded genuinely surprised. When I failed to respond, he let out a sigh. "Bella, are you going to tell me what happened?" There was a hint of frustration in his voice. I couldn't blame him.

I chewed on my bottom lip, not quite sure what to say. As much as I wanted to just be honest with Edward, I also realized the truth would hurt him. And I really didn't want that. But it looked like I didn't have much choice. "When I came out from the bathroom, Mike was there. He..." I looked down at my feet, unable to face Edward as I finished, "sort of asked me out."

Edward froze at my words. I still couldn't bring myself to look at him, but I could hear him swallow hard. "Did you..." he cleared his throat, "Did you say yes?"

"What?" My head shot up and I stared at him in exasperation. "Of course I didn't say yes! How can you even ask me that?" He just shrugged. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. "Edward, don't you understand why I'm so upset? He came on to me, so to speak, when it should have been obvious that I was out with you. Can't you see how wrong and inappropriate that is?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Let me guess. He assumed we were related?" I just stared at him. Edward sighed. "Bella, I'm not surprised. Look, this will most likely keep happening if you'll continue to hang out with me. I can handle it. The question is, can you?" He sounded so sad in that moment, as if he already knew what the answer would be.

All of a sudden, I could see the situation through Edward's eyes, how he viewed himself, thinking he couldn't be good enough for anyone, let alone me. But what he didn't seem to realize was that I felt exactly the same way. In a way, we were both damaged. And it was time for him to stop putting me on a pedestal.

So I stopped and took his hand, looking him right in the eyes. "Edward, listen to me. There's something you need to understand. This is not about what I can handle. It's _you_ who shouldn't have to put up with any of that crap. I told you once before - there's nothing wrong with you. You _are_ good enough. Better than good. You're perfect just the way you are, and there's no one I'd rather be with. I mean that. I-"

I had a whole speech laid out in my head, but I never got to finish it. Because I was abruptly cut off by Edward's lips, pressing against mine. And just like that, the rest of the world ceased to exist.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I have to say, it baffles me when I get people questioning whether these things actually happen in real life. Of course it happens! Why is it hard to imagine that people can be so cruel and refuse to accept someone who is overweight? I'll have you know, there will always be bullies out there. This goes for all countries, and all ages - we're not just talking about children who 'don't know better'. You don't even have to be 'different' in some way to get picked on, all it takes is a low self-esteem. Someone said it's like the bullies can smell it, and I couldn't describe it better myself. If you don't like yourself, they will pick up on it and use it to their advantage, just so they can feel better about themselves. I hate that it happens, but it does. Believe me, I'm not exaggerating things just to create dramatic fanfiction. Yes, people really can be that cruel. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. Sorry about the rant, I'll just stop now. Thank you all so much for your reviews!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 6<strong>

**Bella**

Kissing Edward was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I had kissed other guys in the past, but this was different. Edward had taken me by surprise, initiating the kiss, but once I had recovered from the shock, I couldn't respond fast enough. My lips parted instinctively, giving him access, and the second I felt his tongue - gently but with determination - brush against mine, I was gone.

It was like I didn't just kiss Edward with my lips, I kissed him with every cell in my body, my entire being. The sensation was thrilling, and I never wanted it to stop.

"Edward," I gasped into his mouth, wordlessly begging for more, like I was starving, dying, and he was the only one who could save me. Like I was lost, drifting away, and I needed him to keep kissing me because it was the only thing keeping me anchored. In that moment, I needed Edward's lips against mine even more than I needed air to breathe.

Who needed to breathe, anyway?

Like he could read my mind, his arms slipped around my waist and he pulled me closer, holding me tightly against his body as he deepened the kiss, his tongue caressing mine with such tenderness, and yet there was something almost desperate about the way he refused to break contact even for a second, as if he feared it was just a matter of time before I would simply disappear into thin air.

Unable to resist, as if drawn to him by magnetic force, I melted into his embrace, my arms finding their way around his neck. I tried pressing my body even closer to him, almost forcefully, and ran my fingers through his hair. He didn't seem to mind at all, letting out a soft, almost pleading moan, which I took as a sign to keep going.

It wasn't until I felt myself starting to become lightheaded that I - most reluctantly - pulled back just a little to catch my breath. "Wow..." I breathed, gripping Edward's shoulders to steady myself. I felt dizzy, most likely caused by the lack of oxygen, but all I could think of was how badly I wanted to do that again.

One kiss, and I was already addicted.

For a moment, Edward looked almost abashed, lowering his eyes, and for a second, I was terrified he regretted what had just happened between us. "I'm sorry, I..." he started hesitantly, and I noticed he sounded out of breath as well. But then he stopped himself and raised his head, searching my face intently, almost hopefully, as if looking for some sign that he hadn't just messed up.

And I realized he was just uncertain. Relief filled me and I tilted my head to the side, smiling a little. "Why are you sorry?" I asked softly.

Relaxing visibly, he reached out to cup my cheek, shaking his head. "I'm not." A grin started spreading on his face. And I melted into a puddle of goo at his feet. Edward may not realize it yet, but he already owned me with that smile. I belonged to him, body and soul. And I was okay with that.

More than okay, to be perfectly honest.

"Can we do that again?" I practically pleaded, barely recognizing my voice. In that moment, I didn't sound like myself at all. Instead I sounded happy, hopeful. Like a woman, falling deeply and irrevocably.

Well, I was. No point in denying it.

He looked me straight in the eyes, and it suddenly hit me that maybe I owned him as well. "I most certainly hope so," he mumbled huskily. When our lips met again, I couldn't even tell which one of us had moved first. Once again, I was lost. And as long as Edward held me in his arms, everything was right in the world.

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><p>Things seemed to change quite a bit after that. At first I thought it was just me, but it didn't take long for me to notice the changes in Edward as well. Suddenly he appeared to be less humbled and self-conscious, and more confident, not to mention more comfortable in his own skin, no longer automatically grabbing every opportunity to put himself down.<p>

Maybe he finally started to see what I had known all along. Edward truly was an amazing man, and by some miracle, he seemed to see something good in me too. I couldn't explain it - I just felt like we were meant for each other. The thought both frightened me and filled me with excitement at the same time, because it had all happened so fast.

It all seemed almost too good to be true.

The week following our first kiss seemed to fly by, Edward and I spending practically all our time together when we didn't have to work. And even then, we tried to find small moments to see each other. Edward would get a sudden craving for coffee and come visit me at Starbucks, patiently waiting for me to join him on my break, or I would realize I was out of milk and needed to rush to the grocery store.

And best of all? We couldn't keep our hands off each other. More often than not, we acted like two lovesick teenagers, and I loved every second of it. Edward and I seemed lost in our own little bubble, just enjoying being together. It was all pretty innocent, though - we hadn't moved past kissing and the occasional cuddle, our hands staying safely on top of the clothes at all time.

It seemed to have become an unspoken rule that we were going to take things slow. I figured we were both nervous and uncertain when it came to taking our relationship to the next level. It would be easy to lose ourselves in the heat of the moment, but I knew Edward and I needed to talk before we went any further. There was still so much we didn't know about each other.

Before I knew it, it was Saturday again - the day of Alice's dinner party. To say I wasn't the least bit nervous when Edward came to pick me up that night would be a lie, but I was pretty sure it would be okay. With Edward by my side, I felt like I could handle anything. Including dinner with his sister and friends.

It turned out Alice and her husband, Jasper, owned a small house in a nice, decent neighborhood that even Renee would have to approve of. I had no idea what any of them did for a living, but they had to be doing quite well to be able to afford a house in that area. Alice greeted us at the door, smiling politely. "Hi, Edward. Bella, I'm glad you could make it. Come on in."

I returned her smile as we stepped inside. "Thanks for inviting me. Wow," I looked around, impressed. "This is really nice."

"I know, right?" Alice grinned. "I'll give you the tour, but first you have to meet everyone." She grabbed my arm and all but dragged me with her, leaving Edward behind. I cast a helpless look at him over my shoulder, but he just gave me an assuring smile, no doubt used to Alice's ways.

I suddenly remembered I hadn't come empty-handed. "Oh, this is for you. Edward told me not to bring anything, but..." I shrugged, handing Alice a bottle of white wine.

"Oh, you shouldn't have, but thank you!" Her face lit up. "This will go perfect with the dessert." My smile faltered a little, and I prayed I would be able to at least taste a little of everything without having some sort of meltdown, like I almost had at the restaurant last weekend with Edward.

I simply refused to make a scene tonight. Not that I ever intended to, but this dinner was important for more than one reason. Not only did I have to do whatever I could to stay in Alice's good graces, but I also needed to make a good impression on the rest of them. These were all Edward's friends, and I wanted them to like me.

They were important to him, and therefore also important to me, so I had no choice but to put my weird issues aside. The last thing I wanted was for any of them to think Edward was dating some kind of freak, even if that was pretty much how I felt at times. Why else would I put my body through all of this?

In a way, that's what bothered me the most about what I was doing. I knew perfectly well it was wrong and unnecessary, that I definitely didn't need to lose any more weight, and yet I couldn't bring myself to stop. Purging gave me a strange feeling of satisfaction, but only for a very brief moment. Or maybe it was more the idea of purging that brought me the most comfort. The act itself? Not so much.

I forced the nasty thoughts away as I obediently followed Alice into the next room, which turned out to be the living room, where three people - two guys and a girl, all looking to be around the same age - were spread out, talking animatedly. They all looked up when we entered, and the conversation stopped. Suddenly, everyone's eyes were on me.

Naturally, I blushed furiously, but managed a small smile and a friendly wave. "Um, hi. I'm Bella."

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." One of the guys - he was really handsome, with honey blond hair and brown eyes - walked up to me and offered his hand in greeting. "I'm Jasper, married to that cute little ball of energy over there." He nodded in Alice's direction, and I could tell just by looking at him how much he loved her.

"Hi, Jasper." I smiled shyly at him, then turned to look at the others. The other guy got up, and for a moment, I was taken aback, almost intimidated, by his appearance. His hair was dark brown and curly, and he was very attractive as well, but that wasn't what caused me to stare at him with wide eyes and almost take a step back in astonishment. He was huge, but I immediately realized it was all muscles.

Then he smiled, revealing his dimples, and just like that, his features changed from dangerous to boyish, almost childlike. "Hi, Bella. I'm Emmett." He strode over to me, jokingly shoving Jasper away, and pulled me into a bone-crushing hug. I gasped in surprise, but recovered pretty quickly. At least these people seemed friendly.

_Well, so far, anyway_, I thought as I pulled back and cast a guarded look at the blond girl who had yet to get up from the couch. I quickly noted that, of all of them, she was the most stunning. She could easily be a model, with her long, golden hair and beautiful figure. Now she watched me closely from head to toe, eying me almost critically, and I mentally cringed, instantly feeling inferior.

She finally rose from her seat, gracefully making her way over to me, and held out her hand. "Hello, Bella. I'm Rosalie."

"Hi." I gulped. "Um, it's nice to meet you. All of you," I added, looking around the room, my eyes finally landing on Edward who had walked up behind me. I felt myself relax as he placed his hand gently on my back, giving him a grateful smile for not abandoning me. I wasn't normally overly shy around new people, but again, these weren't just any people.

After all the introductions had been made, Alice excused herself, saying she needed to check on the food, and disappeared into what I could only assume to be the kitchen. I wondered if I should follow, offering to help, which seemed like the polite thing to do, but before I could say anything, I felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned around.

"Come on, Bella, I'll show you around." It was Rosalie. She must have sensed my hesitation, because her face softened and she offered me an assuring smile. "I know Alice insisted on giving you the tour, but she'll get over it. I promise."

I let out a nervous giggle. "Okay. If you say so."

Edward cleared his throat. "I'll come with you."

Rosalie rolled her eyes, smiling widely. "Relax, Edward, I'm not planning to abduct her. Trust me - Bella will be perfectly safe with me." She gave me a challenging look. "Unless you'd prefer Edward to tag along?"

I almost said yes, but I felt like this was a test of some kind, and I needed to pass. Besides, I couldn't exactly follow Edward around like a puppy all night. If I wanted to get to know these people, I had to make an effort. "I think I can manage," I joked, keeping my tone light. "I'd love to see this place, Rosalie. Just lead the way."

"You can call me Rose." She gestured for me to follow. As soon as we were out of the room, a giggle escaped her. "I'd say we have about five minutes, give or take, before he can't take it anymore and comes looking for us. Emmett's been giving him hell for the last couple of days. I bet Edward's freaking out right now."

"What do you mean?" I was a little confused. As we walked together from room to room, she halfheartedly pointed out various objects along the way, and I got the feeling this wasn't really just about showing me around the house. I couldn't say I was too surprised, though. At least she seemed nice about it.

"Well..." Rose tucked her long hair behind her ear, a thoughtful look on her face. "Let's just say it's been a long time since Edward dated anyone. Emmett likes to tease him about it, but he's really quite protective. I suppose in a way, we all are. Edward's our friend, and we don't want him to end up hurt."

I smiled, but it came out a bit strained. "You know, I asked him if this would turn into an interrogation. He said it probably would."

"Yeah..." She was quiet for a moment, and I noticed she seemed a little uncomfortable all of a sudden. "Look, Bella, I don't want you to think badly of us. It's just that-"

"Edward's been hurt before," I finished before she could. "I know." I shrugged at her surprised expression. "He told me a little about it. Trust me, I could never blame you for wanting to protect him, but I'm not a bad person, Rose. I like Edward. A lot, actually. And I hope you'll give me a chance to prove it."

She nodded quickly, looking a bit relieved. "Of course we will. Thanks for being so cool about this. I really wasn't trying to offend you."

"You didn't," I assured her, already starting to like Rose. "Really, I kind of expected it." I bit my lip, not sure how much to tell her since I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. "Um, did Alice tell you she and I had a little... talk last week?"

"Yeah, she mentioned something about that." I could tell she wanted to say something more, but obviously decided against it. Instead she just looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

I hesitated a little. "To be honest, I'm surprised she invited me here tonight. Don't get me wrong - I'm glad she did. But..." I shrugged awkwardly, trying to find the right words.

Rose sighed. "Look, I know Alice can be a bit much sometimes, but she means well. She invited you here because she wants to get to know you. We all do. Edward obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't have asked you to come. Alice didn't force him to bring you along tonight - well, she may have insisted, but in the end, the decision was his. He wants you here."

I couldn't keep the smile from spreading on my face, which wasn't lost on her. "We should probably head back, wouldn't want Edward to have a nervous breakdown." She winked, and I couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want that." I instantly felt lighter, like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. And just like that, I was convinced everything would be just fine.

When we returned to the others, Alice happily announced dinner was ready, ushering us into the dining room. Edward looked relieved that I was back - and seemingly in one piece - as he immediately stepped over to me and discreetly picked up my hand. I kind of didn't want him to let go, but I figured it might be hard to eat with just one hand.

Truth be told, I'd much rather spend the evening just holding hands with Edward and skip the eating part, but that would be pretty rude.

Alice had made lasagna and garlic bread - which all smelled delicious. She told us to dig in and started pouring wine for everyone. We all began to eat, and it tasted just as good as it looked. I told Alice so, and she beamed, clearly pleased by my approval. "It's an Italian recipe," she explained between bites. "I'm glad you like it."

"So, Bella..." Emmett had an evil glint in his eyes, and I instantly became nervous. "No point in stalling any longer, because we're all dying to find out. Enlighten us. What the hell do you see in Edward?" My eyes widened at his inappropriate question, but then I glanced around the table and realized no one else seemed upset with him, including Edward himself who just flipped Emmett off with an eye-roll.

Rosalie seemed to take pity on me and hit her boyfriend over the head. He didn't even flinch, just kept eating with a grin on his face. She gave me an apologetic look. "You have to forgive him. He can't seem to remember his manners for the life of him, but he really doesn't mean any harm."

Edward squeezed my hand reassuringly under the table. I gave Rosalie a grateful smile before turning back to Emmett. "You know, I'll be happy to list all the things I see in Edward right after Rose has explained what she sees in you." I winked at him, unable to keep the grin off my face when his jaw dropped.

There were snickers all around the table. Once he had recovered, Emmett looked amused as well. "I like you, Bella. Edward - she's a keeper." I felt an odd sense of pride well up inside me at his approval.

For a while, conversation flowed pretty smoothly. They all seemed like nice, easygoing people, although I did catch Alice watching me every now and again with an unreadable look on her face. She didn't appear to be upset, though, which I took as a good sign. But for some reason, I got the feeling she still hadn't accepted me completely.

When she suddenly addressed me, I was caught off guard. "That's a really nice top you're wearing, Bella. And I love the necklace." She smiled. "Looks expensive."

It was, actually. As innocent as the comment was, I suddenly felt defensive. I just wasn't sure why. In a way, I figured it was just a sensitive topic for me. Every once in a while, I would go out on a shopping spree, spending a little more money than necessary. Nothing unusual if you thought about it - people did things like that all the time.

Only, normally, they would enjoy it. I did it because, well, the only reason I could come up with was simply because I could.

"I can afford it," I stated, my reply coming out a bit harsher than I had intended, and I felt myself blush. What a stupid thing to say! Why couldn't I just have gone with a simple 'thank you' and then changed the subject? Seeing how Alice looked taken aback by my reaction, I hurried to mumble an apology. "Sorry, I didn't... I mean, I like your top as well."

I really felt like an idiot.

"More lasagna, anyone?" Jasper asked casually, thankfully steering the attention away from me. Edward and Emmett both helped themselves to some more food, shoving lasagna and bread into their mouths. I looked down at my plate, realizing it was still half full. But I suddenly felt like I couldn't eat another bite.

"You okay?" Edward asked quietly in my ear when I put my fork down in defeat, and I didn't miss the hint of concern in his voice. I forced a smile and a nod, not wanting him to worry about me.

"You're not eating much," Alice pointed out, sounding almost hurt.

I felt my uneasiness grow. "Sorry. It was all very good. Really. I'm just... full."

Her eyes narrowed. "How can you be full, when you barely ate-"

"Alice." Edward gave her a warning look. "Drop it." She looked like she was about to object, but then slumped back in her seat.

It took a moment, but finally Emmett broke the awkward silence by asking for dessert. They all seemed to perk up at that, except for me, who mentally groaned and wondered - not for the first time - why I had to be so messed up. People should be enjoying food, not dreading it.

Observing the others, I discovered that they all seemed to like to eat, but clearly Edward was the only one with a weight problem. I wondered about that - not that it really mattered, I was just a little curious. Had he always been large, ever since he was a kid? Maybe some day, he would be ready to share his story with me.

And maybe, just maybe, I would also find the courage to share mine.

Alice rushed into the kitchen, only to return a moment later, carrying a large tray with six dessert plates, forks, a bowl with whipped cream, and a huge apple pie. Just like the food, it looked simply amazing. It smelled even better. And yet, I felt my stomach turn.

"Here, Bella, you go first." Jasper took the tray from Alice, putting the pie down in front of me as Alice started handing out plates and forks. I tried to smile, but it took about all my energy to keep from panicking. I had already eaten way too much. Any more, and I feared I would have to make a run for the bathroom.

"Oh, um, I'm really sorry, but..." I desperately searched my mind for an explanation that wouldn't make me come out as an ungrateful bitch. Unfortunately, I came up blank. "Not right now. Maybe later." I wondered if they could all hear the pleading note in my voice.

_Please, just let it go._

"No worries." Alice smiled, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "More for the rest of us, then."

I emptied my wine glass, almost asking for more.

The others ate, talked and laughed. They all had second servings, Edward even a third. I could barely bring myself to look at any of them. Someone refilled my wine glass, and I took a small sip, resisting the urge to down it all. But before I knew it, the glass was empty. Edward said something to me, and I found myself responding, focusing on the sound of his velvet voice in my ear.

When the rest of them were finished with the dessert, thankfully without dropping any comments about my rude lack of eating, I started to feel a little better. Alice and Rose started clearing the table, while the guys went out on the porch for a smoke. I already knew Edward smoked, but apparently Jasper and Emmett did as well.

I offered to help Alice and Rose in the kitchen, and the three of us started chatting away about safe but trivial matters. The tension seemed to have eased, or maybe it had just been me overreacting all along. It was hard to tell. Either way, I felt more comfortable now. And the feeling lasted as we finished with the dishes and I excused myself to the bathroom.

The guys were still outside when I returned a few minutes later, so I headed back to the kitchen where I assumed to find Alice and Rose. I was just about to enter the room when I head my name being mentioned, and instinctively stopped in the doorway. There was a small crack in the door, and I could hear them speaking quietly. It hadn't been my intention to eavesdrop, but I just couldn't help it.

Because they were talking about me.

"I'm telling you, Rose, this is not going to work out." I held my breath, trying to hear Rose's response, but Alice went on in a low voice, "Well, you're wrong, okay? I can feel it. Bella is not the right girl for my brother. Just give him a little time, and he will see it, too." My heart dropped when she added, "And if he doesn't, I will just have to step in and put a stop to this."

In that moment, I wanted to cry. Maybe I did. I didn't know for sure. I wanted to burst in there and confront them, and at the same time, I wanted to turn around and bolt. But I didn't do either. Instead I just froze dead in my tracks, unable to move or make a sound. Because I had just heard a noise behind me, and somehow, I just knew it was him.

I didn't have to turn around. I could feel Edward's presence, even before he spoke. But it was the venom in his voice that shook me to the core. "Care to repeat what you just said, Alice?" he asked icily as he reached past me and pushed the door open all the way. I watched Alice and Rose both jump and spin around, the same look of guilt mirroring their features.

Alice was busted.

And Edward was pissed. Off.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**Bella**

"Okay, I know how this looks. But I'm not going to apologize, because I know I'm right." Alice looked uncomfortable, but not necessarily remorseful, and for some reason that made me even angrier. But I forced myself to stay quiet as she went on, "It won't last, Edward. I'm really doing you a favor. Remember what happened the last time you-"

"That's enough, Alice," Edward cut her off, glaring at her as he walked into the middle of the room. I took a few hesitant steps after him, then stopped, not quite sure what to do in this awkward situation. "You don't know what you're talking about," he snapped. "You have no right to-"

It was her turn to interrupt, almost pleadingly, "But I do know! I was there, remember? I saw what that bitch did to you, and-"

"I said, that's enough!" Edward slammed his fist down on the kitchen table, causing all of us to jump. He threw a quick look my way, and I didn't miss the desperation in his eyes before he turned his attention back to his sister. "You're plotting behind my back now? What gives you the right to decide what's best for me? I'm twenty-fucking-five years old, Alice. Just who the hell do you think you are?"

She opened her mouth, but he didn't give her any chance to answer. "Save it - I don't wanna hear it." He turned to Rose, who had been standing there silently since Edward and I entered the kitchen. "What about you, Rose? Do you agree with her? Do you think it's okay for my sister to be meddling in my life?"

Rosalie gulped, clearly taken aback by Edward's temper, and quickly raised both hands. "Edward, why don't we all just sit down and talk about this? You and Alice obviously have a difference of opinion, and I think both of you just need to take a moment to hear each other out."

"A difference of opinion?" Edward let out a snort of disbelief. "Are you kidding me?" He shook his head in exasperation and dismissed her, turning back to Alice. "I can't believe you! You should be on my side. I thought you of all people would understand. Fuck, Alice, I told you how I feel about her! And you said you only wanted me to be happy. Was that just a fucking lie?"

She shook her head, and I thought I saw a hint of pain in her eyes. "No, Edward, that wasn't a lie. Your happiness is very important to me. But don't you see? You and Bella are just too different. If you ask me-"

That was it - I simply couldn't stay out of it any longer. "That's the thing, Alice," I all but growled. "No one asked you."

Three sets of eyes turned to look at me, and I got the feeling they had all forgotten I was even in the room. I felt my cheeks become hot, but that didn't keep me from continuing, "I don't know what your problem with me is, but the way I see it, you have crossed the line. My relationship with Edward is none of your business. You need to just get over it!" I was fuming now.

And to think I had actually started to believe Alice and I could become friends.

"Your _relationship_?" She was practically shouting now. "That's a joke, Bella! You may have fooled Edward, but you don't fool me. Just look at you! How do you expect anyone to believe that you actually...!" she stopped herself abruptly, suddenly finding something very interesting on the floor next to her feet.

The room was deadly silent for a moment. Then Edward spoke up, his voice eerily quiet compared to Alice's outburst, "You wanna finish that sentence, Alice? What were you going to say?" Alice just shook her head, her lips pressed tightly together.

"Edward, maybe we should go..." I started tentatively and reached for his hand, thinking this needed to end, right now. Nothing good would come out of this, I just knew it. If Edward and Alice kept pushing each other like this, things were bound to get really ugly. We really should just leave. In fact, we never should have come. And judging by the look on Edward's face right now, he felt the same way.

Unfortunately, he chose to ignore my input. And I could see by the way his eyes were firmly locked on his sister that he was not going to let this one pass. "Alice?" She still refused to face him. He swallowed visibly. "You don't think Bella could actually be interested in someone like me." It wasn't a question. "You think that, because I'm fat, she couldn't possibly want me."

Never before had I wanted to hit someone so badly as I did in that moment. In my head, I was calling Alice every bad name I could think of.

Rosalie gasped, horrified. "Edward! You know that's not true." She elbowed Alice, giving her an expectant look. "Tell him he's wrong!"

Alice opened her mouth, shame written all over her face, but Edward held up a hand to stop her. "Don't." His voice was cold and his face expressionless. "Don't lie to me." Casting one last, heartbreaking look at me, he then turned around and left the room without another word.

"Um, you guys, what's going on?" Emmett and Jasper were suddenly standing in the doorway, looking after Edward who had just pushed his way past them, and then back to us. Rosalie walked over to Emmett and he immediately slipped his arm around her waist, kissing her cheek, but I could see the question linger in his eyes. Jasper looked from Alice to me, looking just as confused.

Alice - who had yet to say a word - looked almost shell-shocked. I strode over to her with determination, stopping mere inches away from her, and gave her a hard look. "You don't even realize what you're doing to him, do you?" I went on before she could say anything, "Let me tell you something, Alice. You hurt your brother just now, much more than I ever could. I hope you're proud of yourself."

And then I left.

No one protested, or made any move to stop me. For that I was beyond grateful. I didn't have time to stand there and argue with them. I needed to find Edward.

When I got out, I was relieved to find that his car was still in the driveway. Not that I had really expected him to drive off and just leave me here, but then again, I couldn't know for sure how his mind worked when he got upset. All I knew was that if it had been me, I would have wanted to get as far away from this house as possible.

The car was empty, though, and Edward was nowhere to be seen. I looked around, wondering where he could be. After all, he couldn't have gotten very far, seeing how I pretty much took off after him right away. "Edward?" I called out softly. A twig snapped somewhere behind me, causing me to jump and spin around.

"I'm here." He was standing a few feet away, looking at me with an unreadable expression. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"It's okay." I managed a small smile, recalling our first real encounter outside the art gallery. "It's not the first time you've sneaked up behind me and made me jump. I'm getting used to it." When he made no attempt to smile at my joke, I took a hesitant step in his direction. "Are you okay?" It was a stupid question, but I couldn't help myself.

"Yeah." He was quiet for a few seconds. "Sorry I left like that. I just..." A frustrated sigh escaped him. "Never mind. I should just take you home." His entire posture just screamed defeat. I desperately wanted to get him to talk to me, but at the same time, I knew this was not the right place.

So I nodded in agreement. "Okay."

Once we were in the car, I buckled up and slumped back in my seat, quietly watching as Edward backed us out of the driveway. He kept his eyes strictly on the road ahead of him, driving up and down the streets without a word, and I could practically see the tension rolling off him in waves. Finally I couldn't take the silence anymore. "Edward?"

No response.

I suppressed a sigh and tried again, "Edward, will you please look at me?"

"I'm driving, Bella." His voice was flat, cold. Almost dead. And it frightened me, more than I liked to admit.

"Then pull over," I all but pleaded, placing my hand on his arm. "I mean it, Edward. We need to talk about what happened."

He just kept driving, and I thought he was simply going to ignore me for the rest of the drive. But then he finally spoke up, "We're almost back at your place. We can talk when we get there." I got the feeling he needed some more time to collect himself and sort out his thoughts, which I could understand, so I just hummed in acceptance, glad he wasn't going to shut me out completely.

When he finally parked the car outside my apartment building and turned off the engine, I breathed a sigh of relief, because he had been driving a little too fast for my liking. Then I noticed his hands were still gripping the steering wheel, so tightly his knuckles were turning white. Taking a deep breath, I slowly moved my hand to cover his, and blurted out, "I'm not Vicky."

His head shot up and he turned to give me a startled look, staring at me like I had gone crazy. "I know you're not. Why would you even say that?"

I ignored his question, the words suddenly spilling out of me, "Alice was way out of line tonight. Please don't believe her. She's wrong about me. Maybe I'm not good enough for you, but that should be up to you to decide, not her. Edward, please, don't let Alice come between us." I choked the last part out, my eyes stinging with tears.

The thought of Edward giving up on us just because Alice made him doubt himself was more than I could handle. It infuriated me that she - who claimed to want to protect him - would do this to him. And at the same time, it horrified me that she could possibly hold so much power over him, and not even seem to realize it.

"Bella?" Edward looked stunned by my failed attempt to keep my emotions under control. He reached out his hand towards my face, then pulled back, almost as if he was afraid to touch me. Then he looked away. "It's the other way around," he mumbled quietly. "I'm the one who's not good enough. Even my sister can see that." A pause. "So why can't you?"

I stared at him with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I couldn't believe we were back to this again. "Edward, no, that's not true! We've been through this already."

He went on as if I hadn't even spoken, "I thought it would be different this time. I finally had something good in my life, and I thought she'd be happy for me. But now she wants to ruin it." He clenched his fist. "Why would she do that? She treats me like..." he swallowed hard. "Bella, she's my fucking sister! She's supposed to support me, not... "Fuck!" He punched the steering wheel in frustration.

I watched him helplessly for a couple of seconds before I snapped out of it and grabbed his hand, holding it gently between mine. "Listen to me. You're absolutely right - Alice _should_ be supporting you. She has no right to act like this, I don't care what her problem is."

"This is so fucking humiliating." He let out a shuddering breath. "I'm so sorry about tonight - it must have been absolutely horrible for you. I just wanted you to meet my friends. I never thought..." he shook his head, clearly at a loss for words.

"Don't do this." I squeezed his hand, willing him to meet my eyes, but he stubbornly looked out the window. "Nothing that happened tonight was your fault. God, Edward, you have to see that. You can't possibly blame yourself for your sister's behavior."

"I don't." His words came out muffled, as if he was close to crying, and it made my heart ache even more for him.

"Come inside with me." He finally turned to look at me, surprise evident on his face. I went on softly, "Please? Nothing against your car, but it's not the most comfortable place to have a serious conversation. Let's just go inside. We can talk some more, and..." I felt myself blush, not sure how to explain that I wanted to snuggle without actually spelling it out. But I had a feeling we could both need some comfort.

Luckily he seemed to see where my mind was heading, and I watched how a ghost of a smile appeared on his face. "Yeah, all right. I'd like that."

About five minutes later, Edward and I were curled up on my couch, each with a large cup of tea in front of us that we had yet to touch. He looked around the room. "I like your apartment."

"Thanks, me too." I smiled a little. "Renee's not too fond of it, though. She thinks it's too small. But at least it's in a safe area, so she doesn't argue about it too much." I rolled my eyes, knowing 'safe' wouldn't be my mother's way to describe the neighborhood I was living in. She preferred to use words like 'right' or 'the good part of town'.

Edward gave me a curious look. "Why do you always call your mother by her first name?"

I picked up my cup, but made no attempt to drink. To be honest, I had never really given it much thought. For some reason, I just did. "I don't know. I just..." I hesitated, not sure how to explain that most of the time, Renee made it really difficult for me to think of her as a mother. "I guess it just comes natural," I finished with a shrug, taking a sip of my tea.

He nodded slowly, picking up his cup as well. I got the feeling he wanted to say something more, but he remained silent. For a few minutes, we just sat there, both lost in our own thoughts. It was a comfortable silence, though. For some reason, I felt like I could just _be_ with Edward - we didn't have to fill every moment with conversation. It was a nice feeling.

"You know..." I finally broke the silence, "I've been thinking about tonight." He visibly tensed up and I could see a hint of panic flash across his face. "It's not a bad thing," I hurried to assure him. "Just hear me out. I was kind of nervous about meeting your friends. I was afraid they wouldn't like me."

His eyes darkened, and for a moment, he looked downright devastated. "Bella, I-"

"I said it wasn't a bad thing," I interrupted him softly, reaching out for him. To my relief, he allowed me to take his hand. "I worried so much about what they would think of me. But now I realize it doesn't matter." Seeing his doubtful expression, I went on explaining, "All that matters to me is what _you_ think. I'm not dating your friends, or your family. I'm dating you. Your opinion is the only one I care about."

"Well, I'm glad to hear that, but..." He stopped himself, swallowing as my words seemed to register. "We're dating? Does that mean you're my..." he lowered his eyes, almost shyly, "...girlfriend?"

I suddenly felt embarrassed, because we had yet to put a label on our relationship. After all, things had happened kind of fast. But that didn't mean I wasn't a hundred percent sure of what I wanted. To hell with everything - and every_one_ - else. I gave him a hopeful smile. "If you want me to be?"

He raised his head and met my eyes, his smile lighting up his face. "Yeah, I really do."

Our lips met in the sweetest of kisses. Edward's arms went around me, pulling me up against his body, and I took the opportunity to shift my position so I could snuggle into his embrace. I heard him letting out a content sigh, and felt a warm, tingling sensation spread through my body.

I wished we could just stay like this forever.

We sat like that for a while, Edward's arms wrapped securely around me as I rested my head against his chest, and everything was just perfect. I closed my eyes, just reveling in the moment. Then he spoke up, softly, "Your mother will never approve of me, will she?"

My eyes snapped open and I felt my heart drop. "What do you mean?" I asked, my voice barely more that a whisper.

He gave me a look that told me to cut the bullshit. "You know exactly what I mean. Or are you forgetting we've already met? Well, sort of, anyway. She took one look at me, and judging by her reaction, she wasn't too impressed with what she saw."

Shame welled up inside me, and I could barely bring myself to meet Edward's eyes. "God, I'm so sorry about that. You have no idea."

Edward shrugged. "It's not your fault, Bella. I can't blame you for your mother's actions, anymore than you blame me for what Alice did tonight. Don't you see? It's the same thing."

"Maybe." I still felt like I was going to be sick when I recalled Renee's cruel and thoughtless comment at the art gallery the day Edward and I first met. "It doesn't make it all right, though. My mother will just have to learn to accept you - it's not like she has any choice. She just needs to grow up."

A thought hit me. "In fact, I'd like to introduce you to her, properly, as my boyfriend. Would you be okay with that? I know it's a lot to ask of you after what happened, and you are fully entitled to say no. But I refuse to hide our relationship from her. If you don't want to see her, I completely understand, but I will still explain to her that you are the one I'm going out with. What do you say?"

He looked a little uncertain, but nodded anyway. "It's okay with me, if that's what you want."

"Thank you." I leaned in to give him a soft peck on the lips. "It means a lot that you'd do that for me. I promise, we won't have to stay long. We can meet up with her somewhere, a cafe or something. That way we can leave whenever we want."

"All right, just say when, and I'll be there." Edward ran his fingers tenderly down my cheek. "And you don't have to thank me, Bella. I've found there are very few things I wouldn't do for you."

I practically melted at that, my smile growing ridiculously wide. "Name one."

His expression turned thoughtful for a moment, then he grinned adorably at me. "Right now, I can't think of anything." He kissed the top of my head.

Snuggling up in his arms again, I let out a blissful sigh. "Just for a little while, let's pretend we are the only people in the world. Just forget about everybody else. I know we'll have to deal with them eventually, but I don't wanna think about it anymore tonight. Right now, it's just you and me. Let's just enjoy it for as long as we can."

I felt him nod against me. "Sounds good to me." He started combing his fingers gently through my hair and it felt so good, I almost started purring like a cat. I could easily fall asleep like this, wrapped up in Edward's arms, and I found myself wishing he didn't have to go home. I glanced up at him, wondering how he would react if I asked him to stay the night.

He must have seen the dreamy look on my face, because the corner of his mouth curled into a crooked smile that nearly killed me on the spot. "Whatever you're thinking about, it must be something nice."

"I'm thinking about you," I confessed. For once, it was Edward's cheeks that turned slightly pink. I grinned. "Actually, I'm trying to figure out a way to get you to stay here with me tonight without coming out as a total floozy."

Edward's eyes widened a little. "Oh." He let out an uncertain chuckle. "Well, believe me, I would never think of you as a floozy. But..." He hesitated, and I could tell he was getting uncomfortable. "It's not that I don't want to stay with you. I just..." He cringed, clearly embarrassed. "I don't know if I'm ready to-"

"Oh, no!" I blushed furiously. "I wasn't suggesting... I mean, really... I just wanna sleep with you. No, not _sleep_ with you! Just sleep. With you. Like, sleeping together, but not having sex. Not that I would be opposed to having sex with you, that's not what I... Oh, God, make me stop!" I buried my face in my hands, beyond mortified for rambling like a crazy person.

A soft laugh escaped him and he gently removed my hands. "Don't do that - your face is much too pretty to hide. Relax, I understood what you meant."

"Oh, thank God." I was still embarrassed, but managed a small smile. Then I frowned. "Wait. If you already knew I didn't mean... _that_, then why did you say you didn't know if you were ready? Ready for what?"

His smile faded and he looked down at his hands, still holding mine. "What I meant was... I don't think I'm ready for you to... see me, without..." he swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. He didn't finish, but he didn't have to, because all of a sudden it was perfectly clear to me. And I could've just hit myself for not considering it sooner.

Edward was ashamed of his body. Of course he wouldn't be comfortable with the idea of me seeing him without his clothes on. I could understand that feeling, all too well, because I didn't like the way my body looked, either. He didn't know I felt that way, though. And I suddenly got the feeling the thought hadn't even occurred to him.

Maybe it was time to tell Edward about my own demons.

There was one little problem, though. As much as I had come to trust Edward in this short amount of time, I was torn. I wanted to be honest with him, but the thing was, I didn't talk about my issues with _anyone_. Not only was I embarrassed, but the whole thing made me feel like a failure, and now I dreaded the thought of Edward seeing me that way, too.

Of course, deep down, I didn't really think he would, but I just couldn't help it. What I was doing to myself was wrong and shameful, and the worst part was that it didn't even make me feel better in the long run. Looking at it from an outsider's point of view, my behavior had to seem both irrational and crazy.

Which was why I could never bring myself to tell anyone.

But now I felt like it wasn't just about me anymore. Edward had his own insecurities, and I knew he was making quite a leap of faith by letting me into his life, especially after another woman had hurt him somehow in the past. He had been taking a risk by trusting me, and now I figured it was time for me to do the same.

So I took a deep breath. "Edward? There's something I need to tell you."


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: There is one question I get asked a lot in the reviews. And I mean A LOT. 'Just how big is Edward?' So instead of responding to each review separately where I would basically say the same thing, I'm going to address the subject here in my A/N instead. I hope no one feels offended for not getting a personal reply. Okay, here we go. I deliberately left out that one little detail about Edward's exact weight, because to me, it's not really relevant. But I can see now that to you, my dear, wonderful readers, it is very important to find out. I guess since I'm the one writing this and therefor already have a clear picture of an overweight Edward in my head, I haven't found a closer description necessary. Many of you have asked for pictures, and I'm sorry, but I don't have one. Let's just say this: there are people who are big, and there are people who are bigger. (I really hate the word 'fat' because I find it downright offensive and I know I'm not the only one.) My Edward is NOT quite as big as Jorge Garcia, but not too far from. I choose to compare the two because I know Jorge and Rob are about the same height. When Bella first saw Edward, she thought in her head that he was 'slightly overweight' but it's mentioned in later chapters that 'slightly' was an understatement. I hope that's good enough. If not, you all just have to use your imagination. Oh, and if there's someone out there who likes to play with Photoshop and knows how to manipulate pictures, I wouldn't say no to a banner with Edward's pretty head on a larger body! Just a little hint... :)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 8<strong>

**Bella**

I reluctantly pulled out of Edward's arms and sat up straight on the couch, needing some distance between us to clear my head and gather my thoughts. He straightened up as well, his eyes fixed on me expectantly, and as I realized I had his full attention, I could only hope I was making the right decision by opening up to him.

Of course, I couldn't deny the fact that I secretly hoped that telling Edward about my issues would make him feel more comfortable when it came to discussing his. Whoever that Vicky was, she had obviously done a number on him, and I desperately wanted to know just in what way she had hurt him. And then I wanted to take all his bad memories and replace them with new, better ones.

I hesitated a little, trying to figure out where to start. Then I decided it didn't really matter. So I began, tentatively, "I don't know it you've noticed, but... I sort of have a problem. With food." I risked a glance at Edward. He didn't look overly surprised, maybe a little, but he definitely appeared to be more concerned than shocked by my confession. Instead of saying anything, he nodded for me to go on.

So I did, nervously wringing my hands in my lap. "I know I'm really skinny, and it's not very attractive - I'm pretty sure that's what Alice hinted at before when she said 'just look at you'. But I can't help it. I don't want to look like this, and I know I shouldn't be losing any more weight, but I just get to a point when I simply can't eat anymore, even though I've barely started. And then..." I swallowed.

I didn't dare to face Edward, suddenly terrified of his reaction when I revealed the rest. Would he be horrified? Grossed out?

Would he leave me?

All of a sudden, I didn't know what to think. I had wanted to assure him, making him see that he was not the only one in this relationship with body issues, but what if the truth turned out to be too much for him to handle? Surely he hadn't expected me to be this messed up.

But I couldn't back down now. So I forced myself to raise my head, meet Edward's eyes, and finish the sentence, "And then I make myself get rid of what I've just eaten." I quickly looked away again, not wanting to see the shocked and disgusted look on his face. To be perfectly honest, a part of me waited for him to just get up and leave.

On some level, I knew I wasn't being fair to Edward - I should have more faith in him. He wasn't judgmental, in fact, from what I had seen of him so far, he didn't have a mean bone in his body. So why was I so afraid?

Lost in my thoughts, I didn't notice when Edward moved his hand, but suddenly he was touching me, gently cupping my cheek and trying to get me to face him again. Unfortunately, I got so startled I gasped loudly and nearly jumped through the roof. I probably would've fallen off the couch, had Edward not been there to grab me gently by the arm, but then he quickly released me and pulled back.

"Sorry. Looks like sneaking up on you and scaring the crap out of you is the only thing I'm good at," he mumbled dejectedly. I started to object, but he just shook his head. "Bella, when you said _get rid of_, did you mean like...?"

I could tell by the sound of his voice that he already knew exactly what I meant, so I nodded in confirmation, my cheeks burning with humiliation, "I throw up. On purpose."

There, I had told him, straight out. And I was more than a little surprised the words had come so easily. Of course, in a way, sharing my dark secret with Edward just now had been one of the hardest things I had ever done. But at the same time, once I had decided to come clean and tell him everything, it had been like opening a faucet. It all just came, and I couldn't take it back.

So, now, I figured, the rest was up to him. Sure, I could try to explain why I was doing it, but only if he would let me, if he would be willing to hear me out. I inhaled shakily. "Edward..."

"I'm sorry, Bella," he cut me off, sounding so sympathetic that my head immediately shot up and I opened my mouth, about to tell him I didn't want him to feel sorry for me. But when our eyes met, I saw no pity. Only understanding. He slowly reached out to place his palm against my cheek again, and this time, I instinctively leaned into his touch. "I'm so sorry you feel like you have to do that," he whispered.

And that was it. No questions or accusations. No _'why the hell would you do that to yourself?'_ Just acceptance and compassion. Edward knew now, and he didn't think any less of me. I could see it in his eyes, hear it in his voice. And as soon as realization hit me, the tears came.

"Bella..." His eyes widened as I failed to hold back a sob, clearly unprepared for my emotional breakdown. "Don't cry," he all but pleaded, pulling me into his arms and awkwardly stroking my hair. "Please," he added, sounding close to panic, "It'll be okay, I promise."

I couldn't help it - a small giggle escaped me, and before I knew it, I was laughing and crying at the same time. He just seemed so horrified at the sight of my tears, as if he had no idea how to handle a crying woman, and he was completely oblivious to the fact that he was actually doing everything just right.

Edward really _was_ too good to be true. And I planned to do everything in my power to hold on to him and never let him go.

"I'm fine," I sniffled, sighing contently as his arms tightened around me. "I know we need to talk more, but right now, this is just... Thank you so much for not freaking out about this. I don't know how you do it, but..." I sighed, annoyed for not finding the right words. "I half expected you to run away screaming. But instead you made me feel better. I'm so relieved right now. Thank you."

"I would never run away from you, Bella." Edward was quiet for a moment. "You shouldn't give me too much credit, though. I'm glad I made you feel better, but the truth is, I have no idea what I'm doing. What you just told me..." He hesitated. "I'm not gonna lie - it worries me a lot. The thought of you like that, in pain, it just..." He shook his head.

I just shrugged, not knowing what to say. He went on, softly, "You already mean so much to me. I want to protect you from this, from everything. But I don't know if I can. Bella, please, tell me what to do. How can I help you?"

He sounded so genuine, so sincere, the tears threatened to start all over again. "You already do," I whispered truthfully. "Just by being here, by being _you_. You're perfect."

"Being here hardly makes me perfect, Bella," he protested with a snort. "I'm just-"

"No, Edward, don't do that." I shifted a little so I could look up at him. "I hate when you belittle yourself like this. Like before, what you said about the only thing you're good at. It makes me sad, hearing you talk like that, because I know it's not true. You just don't see yourself clearly, like I do. You really are perfect, to me. I just wish you could see that."

"Bella..." He closed his eyes for a moment. "I hear what you're saying, but it's hard, all right? I'm sorry if I'm upsetting you, it's not my intention. I know you would never..." he stopped, as if not sure how to continue, and then started over, "I'm trying to see what you see in me, but it's just... fucking hard, when I've been told my entire life what a fat, disgusting pig I am."

I desperately wanted to say something - _anything_ - to comfort him, willing to do whatever it took to remove that pained look from his face and making him smile again, but I could tell he needed to get this off his chest, so I just snuggled up against him again, running my fingers soothingly up and down his arm, wordlessly encouraging him to go on.

"I guess somewhere along the way, I just gave up hoping someone would ever look at me differently. But then you came..." He sighed. "Don't know if you remember, but back when we first met, I told you that when you get to hear nasty comments all the time, you finally stop paying attention and just don't give a damn anymore. I lied, Bella. It always hurts. Every cruel word, it's like a fucking stab in the chest."

Tears were spilling down my cheeks again, but this time, they were for him. "Edward, I don't know what to say. Of course it hurts - you wouldn't be human if it didn't. I absolutely hate that there are so many ignorant idiots out there, causing you pain for no reason. You don't deserve any of that. I wish I could just make them all disappear, make things better for you."

Edward swallowed visibly, no doubt touched by my words. "You can't change the way people are looking at me, Bella. That's just something I have to live with. But I want you to know - you _are_ making things better. Just by being..." he stopped, and I could see the moment something clicked in his head.

"Just by being here," I finished, smiling through my tears as I repeated my words from earlier, only then I had been talking about him, not me. "By being _me_, right? Do you see now? That's exactly how I feel about you. You said you wanted to protect me. Well, I'm feeling very protective of you, too."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "I guess you're the one who's perfect, then."

I shook my head without even thinking, because I saw myself as far from being perfect. But then again, Edward thought the same about himself, and I was trying so hard to convince him he was wrong. "We're both perfect," I stated softly. "Perfect for each other. Can you at least agree with me on that?"

He watched me intently for the longest time, then finally nodded. It wasn't good enough for me, though. "I want to hear you say it," I told him quietly.

Edward let out a deep sigh, but it was more playful than annoyed. "You're very stubborn. Anyone ever tell you that?" I just raised a brow, expectantly. "Fine. We're perfect for each other." I beamed at him, and his face softened. "Don't know how I got so lucky, though." He leaned in to brush his lips against mine.

"No, _I'm_ the lucky one," I insisted as I slipped my arms around his neck, eagerly deepening the kiss. Kissing Edward would never get old. I wished we could just go on and on forever.

But, as always, we eventually reached the point where the lack of air started to become an issue. Edward grinned at me, looking a little dazed. "That was some kiss," he mumbled huskily. I could only nod in agreement. He rested his cheek against the top of my head, and I could hear him breathe heavily, almost panting.

For a long time, we just sat like that. Then Edward spoke up, his voice low but determined, "I'll stay with you tonight, if you still want me to."

My heart started beating faster and I nodded eagerly. "Of course I do." I paused, remembering what we had talked about earlier. "We can keep our clothes on," I offered, knowing it wouldn't be very comfortable, but I could manage, as long as I got to keep Edward here with me, falling asleep in his arms.

He nodded absently, and I got the feeling his thoughts were elsewhere. I was just about to ask him about it when he turned to look at me. "I think a part of me will always wonder how you can look at me without just seeing..." he gestured to himself with a grimace, "..._this_. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. But I'll try to do better. I'll try to be more positive. Just have patience with me?"

I nodded immediately, giving his arm a gentle squeeze. "I promise. As long as you'll be patient with me, too. You're not the only one doubting yourself, you know."

"Yeah, about that..." Edward glanced at me. "I understand this must be hard for you to talk about, and I don't want to push you. But I need to know..." he stopped, rolling his eyes. "Wait, that came out wrong. I don't _need_ to know anything you're not ready to tell me. I didn't mean it like that. I _want_ to know, Bella. If you don't mind, I want to know everything about you. Can you tell me a little more?"

Contemplating his request, I couldn't think of any reason to say no. The more I thought about it, I realized I didn't _want_ to say no. If Edward wanted to know more, I would give it to him. Looking up at him, I noticed he seemed somewhat uncertain and worried, as if he thought maybe he had crossed a line of some sort by asking.

"I don't mind," I assured him. "I'm just not sure where to begin. This is kind of new to me. I've never really talked about this with anyone before."

Edward looked surprised. "Ever? I mean, I can see why you wouldn't want to share this with your parents, but what about your friends? Or... ex boyfriends? How long...?" he swallowed, "How long has this been going on?"

Did I just imagine the hint of jealousy in his voice when he brought up the subject of potential ex boyfriends?

I shook my head in an attempt to clear it. "Okay, that's a lot of questions. I'll just start from the beginning. No, I've never told my friends. They..." I thought for a moment. "We don't have that kind of relationship. I mean, I've known most of them since junior high, but I've never felt like I can really talk to them about personal matters. They're kind of..." I shrugged, "...shallow, I guess."

"Huh." Edward nodded in understanding. "In other words, they probably won't accept me, either."

I looked him straight into the eyes. "If they don't, then they're not my friends anymore. I mean that, Edward. I'd choose you over my so called friends in a heartbeat." I paused. "You know what's really messed up? I don't think I'd even miss them."

"That is messed up. And sad." He hesitated for a second. "I just wish you wouldn't have to choose between me and your friends."

I put my head down to rest on his shoulder. "And I wish you wouldn't jump to conclusions. It's too soon to say anything about their reactions. You promised to be more positive. That includes not automatically assume the worst." I gave him a soft smile to take the edge off my words.

"I said I'll try," he corrected, nuzzling my hair with his nose. "Okay, let's get back on track. You haven't talked to your friends. Your boyfriends?" I felt him tense up, and had to fight back a grin.

Yes, there was definitely jealousy in his voice. Silly man! As if he would have any reason to worry.

"Never any serious," I told him sincerely. "Sure, I've dated a few guys over the years, but it was all just for fun. Believe me - discussing my issues with any of them was never an option." I cringed at the thought.

Edward visibly relaxed after my explanation. "You didn't trust them," he murmured, sounding almost relieved. It wasn't a question.

"No, I didn't," I shook my head in agreement. "But I trust you." Our eyes met. He nodded slowly, and I got the feeling he was debating with himself over something. I _hoped_ he was working up the courage to tell me about Vicky, because I was dying to know. But I refused to be the one to bring up the subject again. In fact, I did my best not to think about it at all.

And, yes, I was failing miserably.

But Edward knew I trusted him now. I figured that - for the time being - I would just have to focus on myself, showing him that shared pain really could be less pain. At least that's what it felt like for me. So I went on, quietly, "You asked how long it's been going on. I honestly don't remember. Seems like forever. But I wasn't doing it before we moved away from Forks. Well, the throwing up part, anyway."

He was quiet for a moment, and then asked, "So what did you do before?" I turned to look at him in confusion, and he clarified, "You said you didn't start throwing up until after you came here. But the way you said it... It sounded like you were doing something else before then. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to assume..." his voice trailed off as my mind wandered away.

_The deadly object in my hand, hovering above my wrist. Images of warm, dripping blood - my blood - coursing down my arms. The pictures in my head were so vivid - horrifying, yet intriguing at the same time. I was afraid of the pain, but at the same time, I wanted it. I welcomed it._

_But it never came. Every time I locked myself up in my room or in the bathroom, with a kitchen knife or something similar, I got a little closer to stepping over the edge, but I always chickened out at the last moment. I just couldn't hurt myself like that. I didn't want to die. I just wanted, no, I needed..._

"I needed the pain," I mumbled now. Then I froze, because I hadn't intended to say it out loud. Suddenly I desperately wanted to change the subject, because this was becoming too dark, too twisted. Edward may have been understanding when it came to my purging, but somehow, I doubted he would be as calm and supportive about this.

Besides, it wasn't like I was still doing it. I had stopped playing with sharp objects after Renee caught me that one time, so it wasn't really important. It wasn't like I was lying to Edward by keeping it from him. I was just protecting him - he didn't need to know how screwed up I had been as a kid. Come to think of it, maybe it was more about protecting myself.

I pushed the thought to the back of my mind, telling myself it wasn't relevant.

"Bella?" It took a moment before I realized Edward was talking to me. "We don't have to do this now. I told you I don't want to push you. I just..." he reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind my ear. "I'm glad you told me this much. I think it's pretty safe to say we both have-"

"Issues," I finished with a nod. He smiled sadly.

"I was going to say 'emotional baggage', but I guess the concept is the same." For a couple of minutes, we just sat there in silence, until all of a sudden, Edward let out a groan and pulled his phone out of his pocket. I hadn't heard it ringing, so I figured he had turned off the sound and it had just vibrated. Casting a brief look at the display, he then pressed a button and put it away.

"Alice?" I asked quietly when he didn't offer any explanation.

He shook his head. "No, Emmett." A pause. "Alice has already called six times since we left their house. I think she's finally starting to take the hint."

My eyes widened in surprise - I had no idea she had been calling him. He hadn't said anything. "You're not going to talk to her, then?"

"Why would I?" His face hardened and his voice turned cold. "I have nothing to say to her."

I couldn't say I blamed him. At all. But still, there was a part of me that couldn't help but feel bad about the whole thing. After all, Edward and Alice obviously used to have a very close sibling relationship before I came into the picture. Then again, I hadn't done anything to change that. Alice was the one who had a problem with me, not the other way around. I just thought it was sad.

Correction - I felt bad for Edward. Not Alice. She had brought this on herself.

"I hear you. But if she's been calling you six times, then I guess _she_ has something she wants to say to you," I tried carefully. "Maybe she wants to apologize. Are you sure-"

"Please, Bella, just drop it." Now he just sounded tired. "Alice doesn't apologize, because she always thinks she's right. But even if she would, I don't wanna hear it. Not tonight."

"All right." I nodded in acceptance, deciding to just leave it at that. He clearly wasn't interested in talking to Emmett, either, and while I was a bit curious as to why, I wasn't going to ask. It was Edward's decision, and I fully respected it. No matter what, I would always be on his side.

I failed to hold back a yawn, and glanced at my watch. It wasn't really all that late, but I was still tired. Edward had promised to stay here with me, but we hadn't made it as far as to discussing sleeping arrangements, and suddenly I felt almost shy. Should I ask him if he wanted us to move over to the bedroom, or would that be awkward?

I had a spare toothbrush somewhere in the bathroom - should I offer it to him? And what about sleeping attire? I had already suggested we'd keep our clothes on, but surely Edward wouldn't mind if I changed into what I usually slept in - an old t-shirt and a pair of sweat pants. Then I mentally groaned, thinking I was probably making a bigger deal about all this than it had to be.

All I had to do was talk to Edward, ask him how he wanted to do this. There was no need for me to feel embarrassed or self-conscious.

"Edward?" I asked softly, at the exact same time he said, "Bella?" We looked at each other and laughed.

"You first," he offered politely.

Lost in the depth of his eyes, I couldn't for the life of me remember what I had been about to say. To be honest, in that moment, I would be surprised if I could remember my own name. Somehow, Edward had that effect on me. As if pulled by an invisible string, I leaned in to rest my forehead against his. "This is so nice," I admitted quietly. "I'm glad you're staying. I'm not ready to part from you tonight."

I could hear his sharp intake of air as he pulled me into a tender hug. I shifted a little, finding a more comfortable position. Then I closed my eyes.

The last thing I heard before I started drifting off was Edward's soft, velvet voice, mumbling into my ear, "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to part from you."

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: Thanks to the lovely Salix caprea, there's a thread for this story at the Twilighted forum where you'll get teasers before I update. Link is on my profile. I also post my teasers on Twitter, feel free to follow me. I go by the name NillaSwan, and I always want more followers. <strong>


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**Bella**

I was happy. Really happy. I tried to remember the last time I had truly felt that way, but I came up blank. The aftermath of the Dinner Party From Hell - as I had secretly labeled it in my head - could have easily turned into a disaster, but instead it had only brought me and Edward closer. To say I was relieved would be a huge understatement, and I was pretty sure he felt the same.

After spending the night together in each other's arms, we both woke up at the crack of dawn with a sore back and stiff neck from sleeping on the couch, but even though we ached all over, it led to one of our most tender moments to date, as we spent most part of the morning cuddling and making out like a couple of love-sick teenagers.

And the best part? There was no awkwardness at all. Somehow, waking up with Edward felt completely natural, like it was just meant to be. However, I made a mental note to myself to make sure we made it to the bed the next time. If I was in pain, it had to be even worse for poor Edward, seeing how my couch wasn't possibly big enough for him to be comfortable all through the night.

He never once complained about it, though. In fact, the happy smile seemed to be a constant on his face the next morning. I knew how he felt - I couldn't stop smiling, either.

The next couple of days were mostly quiet and uneventful, although I found out later Alice had kept calling Edward's cell phone every now and again, and he still wouldn't speak to her. It was a bit of an awkward situation for me, as I felt like I was the one standing between them, but there was really nothing I could do about it. If Edward actually _wanted_ to talk to Alice, I wouldn't put up a fight.

And if he didn't, well, then I was not going to force him. I had no right telling him what to do. Whatever he decided, he would have my full support, though - I had made sure he was aware of that. He told me he appreciated it, but I could tell he wasn't really comfortable discussing the subject. I couldn't say I blamed him, knowing he had to feel both embarrassed and betrayed by his sister's vile behavior.

At least her plan to break us up had failed. There was just no way in hell I would let her come between me and Edward.

It was the following Tuesday and I had less than half an hour left on my shift at Starbucks, when I spotted two familiar faces in the crowd of people lining up to order their coffee and pastries. I plastered a strained smile on my face as they walked straight up to me. "Rosalie. Emmett. This is a surprise. How are you?"

"Hi, Bella. It's nice to see you again." The look on Rosalie's face told me she and Emmett hadn't just run into me by accident - they were here for a reason. I knew I was right when she went on, "I hope we're not making you uncomfortable by showing up like this, but we kind of wanted to talk to you. You're obviously busy right now, but maybe you could take a break in a while?" She sounded hopeful.

I hesitated a little before making up my mind - I had to admit a part of me was curious as to what they wanted to talk about. And I figured I should give them the benefit of doubt - after all, neither of them had been rude to me in any way the last time we met.

At least not to my face, anyway. And I didn't want to judge Edward's friends based on what his sister thought of me. So I decided to just hear them out. "Actually, I'm getting off in," I checked my watch, "about twenty minutes. If you don't mind waiting...?" I left the rest of the sentence hanging.

"No, not at all. That would be great." Rosalie looked relieved. "We'll just sit down and have a coffee while we wait for you. You come join us when you're done."

I nodded in agreement and turned around, about to get their beverages, when Emmett called out for me, making me turn back to look at him in question. He gave me a sheepish grin. "I'll have a couple of donuts to go with the coffee, if that's okay?"

I couldn't help but smile - for real this time - and nodded again. "Got it. Coming right up."

When my shift ended and I had changed out of my working apron, I grabbed a can of Coke and went to find Emmett and Rose. They were sitting in a booth over by the windows, talking quietly when I arrived, and as soon as they saw me, Emmett immediately scooted over to make room for me. I gave him a grateful smile and slid into the booth, putting my soda down on the table.

Rose spoke up right away, not wasting any time, "Bella, let me start by apologizing for what happened the other night. I want you to know that - regardless of what it may have looked like - it was never my intention to talk about you behind your back. But you need to understand that what you heard was Alice's opinion, not mine. I don't agree with her, and the same goes for Emmett."

I looked at him and he nodded, a serious look on his face. "Trust me - I feel really bad about the whole thing. Edward's still pissed off, and I don't blame him. I know he was looking forward to all of us meeting you, and things didn't exactly turn out the way he had hoped. I'd say Alice has some serious groveling to do if she wants to get back in his good graces."

My heart started beating faster and I couldn't help but smile at the mention of my boyfriend. "So you talked to Edward, then? He told me you called, but..." I hesitated, not wanting to offend him, or getting Edward in trouble by admitting he hadn't wanted to talk to Emmett.

But Emmett seemed to understand what I couldn't bring myself to say, and he didn't look insulted. Instead he just nodded. "Yeah, I talked to him, after Rosie stepped in. He was being stubborn for a day or so, refusing to take my calls - if wasn't just me, by the way, he wouldn't speak to any of us - but my girl finally had enough of the silent treatment." He chuckled, casting a look at Rosalie.

She continued, "I called him up and left a message on his voice-mail, saying he'd better stop being an ass and ignoring the rest of us, just because he has a bone to pick with Alice. He may have been embarrassed, but that's hardly our fault. So I told him Emmett expected to hear from him within an hour. And fifty-six minutes later, he called." She sounded amused, not to mention proud of herself.

I had to smile at that, deciding I wouldn't want to end up on Rosalie's bad side, either. A part of me wanted to ask Emmett what he and Edward had talked about, but I figured it wasn't any of my business. Instead I turned to Rose. "Thank you for not siding with Alice in this mess. I wouldn't blame you if you did, seeing how you've been friends for so long and I'm basically a stranger to you, but-"

She cut me off, "It's not about taking sides, Bella. To us," she gestured between her and Emmett, "it's not about you versus Alice, even though I can see why you would think of it that way. It's all about Edward. He's our friend, and he's important to us. She's convinced you'll end up breaking his heart, but like I said, we don't necessarily share her opinion. He's happy with you, and that's all that matters."

Emmett took over, "Bella, there's something you should know. I realize Edward hasn't told you the whole story yet, but I think it's just a matter of time. Now remember, it's not like I'm going behind his back when I tell you this, because it's not really about him. At least not this part." He glanced at Rose for support, and she nodded in agreement.

I was confused. "I don't get it. What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about Vicky." I opened my mouth to insist I should be hearing this from Edward and not him, but he hurried on, "I told you - this is not about Edward. Yes, he and Vicky dated for a while. But it's a bit more complicated than that. You see, Vicky and Alice used to be best friends."

My eyes widened in shock - I had not seen that coming. "Are you serious?" I gasped.

He nodded grimly. "Unfortunately, yes. The point is, Edward's not the only one in the family with trust issues. Alice may not always make the best decisions, and I know she can be somewhat overbearing from time to time, but I promise you, she's not really a bad person. She just wants to keep her brother - and herself - from getting hurt again."

I was quiet for a moment, allowing his words to sink in. "So you're saying that this Vicky person didn't just hurt Edward - she betrayed Alice as well?" Another nod. "Huh." I honestly didn't know how to respond to this revelation. It was hard for me to feel any sympathy for Alice after what she had done, not just to me, but to Edward as well.

A thought suddenly hit me. "Wait, what about Jasper? Where does he stand in all this?" I had a strong feeling I already knew the answer, but I had to ask.

Rose confirmed my suspicion. "My brother is in a difficult position, because Edward's one of his best friends. But at the end of the day, his place will always be next to Alice. After all, she's his wife. And he will support her, even though he doesn't always agree with her."

I nodded slowly, not really surprised. "I guess I can't really blame him for that. Look, I see what you're trying to do, and I can sort of understand Alice's reasoning a little better now, but at the same time, what she's doing is not fair to me. And it's definitely not fair to Edward. Why can't she just trust his judgment? I would never hurt anyone on purpose. What do I have to do to prove that to her?"

"I hear you, and I understand how you feel." Rose hesitated a little. "You're absolutely right - it's not fair to either of you. And we're not trying to excuse Alice's behavior, we just want you to realize that her issues go beyond you and your relationship with her brother. I assure you, she didn't invite you over the other day with the intention to split you two up. I know she was genuinely set on giving you a chance."

I gave her a doubtful look, not sure what to believe anymore. "If that's true, then what happened that caused her to change her mind? I just don't understand, Rose. What did I do?"

Rosalie threw a brief look at Emmett, who just shrugged. Then she turned back to me, and I could see she was getting uncomfortable. "I don't know what to tell you, Bella. This is really awkward, but you deserve to hear the truth." She paused. "I guess there's no point in sugarcoating. You and Edward are obviously very different - physically speaking. And Alice... well, she's worried it'll become a problem."

I shook my head, failing to see the logic in her explanation. "I'm sorry, Rose, but that doesn't make any sense to me. Don't you see how twisted that is? I mean, talk about double standard! Alice is judging me based on how I look, just like other people are judging Edward. But our physical appearances don't define us. I don't care about his size - I just care about _him_. Why can't she see that?"

"Maybe because you're one of a kind?" Emmett watched me thoughtfully. "We all see Edward for who he is - a great guy - because we've spent years getting to know him. But sadly, people in general are not so accepting. They take one look at him, and decide he's not worthy of their attention. It's sick, Bella, and trust me, I've beaten up more assholes than I can count over the years, for that very reason."

"What Emmett's getting at," Rosalie went on explaining, "is that we have all learned the hard way how most people work. It's definitely not right, but it's the way it is. Edward is one of the sweetest, most amazing guys I have ever met, but women don't look twice at him, because they just can't see past those extra pounds. I know it sounds harsh and cruel, but guess what? It's reality."

"Alice has seen more of this than the rest of us put together." Emmett looked me right in the eyes. "And it never stops. You'd think grown up people would realize how much pain a single cruel word can inflict on others, but the truth is, most of them don't even care. Alice has seen it first hand."

"And then you enter the picture." Rosalie gave me a small smile. "Alice just doesn't understand why you're not like the rest of them. Don't get me wrong - not everyone in this town treats Edward like a leper. There will always be people - total strangers - who are nice and respectful. But they..." she glanced at Emmett for support.

"They're not looking to get involved with him romantically," he filled in with a sigh. "Do you see Alice's dilemma? She's conflicted. Here's this nice, pretty girl, showing interest in her brother, and while she wants to be happy for him, she's terrified it'll end up like..."

"...like the last time," I finished with a nod. "I get that, Emmett, I really do. I don't know the details of what happened with Vicky, but from what I've gathered, it was bad. And I'm really sorry to hear that both of them got hurt. But I still don't think it's right for Alice to assume every girl out there is like that." I met and held his gaze. "_I'm_ not like that."

"Hey, you don't have to convince me." Emmett raised both hands in surrender. "I believe you, Bella. And deep down, I think Alice does as well. That's why she made the effort in the first place. She knows she's not being fair about all this, but it's just the way her mind works. She can't help it - it's like a defense mechanism to protect herself and her brother, at all costs."

My brows went up in question. "Even if she's hurting Edward in the process?"

"I guess so," he admitted quietly, after a moment's hesitation. "But you should know she feels really bad about it."

"Oh, I guess that changes everything, then," I mumbled sarcastically to myself. Seeing the hurt look on Emmett's face, I quickly apologized, "Look, I'm sorry - you two have been really nice to me. But can you try to see things from my side? One moment, Alice shows up at my place, practically begging me not to give up on Edward. And the next, I find out by accident that she's planning to break us up."

He grimaced. "Yeah... I can see why you would feel a bit... confused."

"More like frustrated," I sighed. "If you're saying she's not a bad person, well, I guess I have to take your word for it. But you can't blame me for being a bit skeptical about this." Rosalie opened her mouth, but I went on before she could say anything, "Tell me something, Rose. Has Alice apologized to Edward?"

Rosalie looked at Emmett, who just shrugged. She turned back to me. "Actually, I don't think he's really given her a chance. He's pretty mad at her."

I had figured that out already. "Yeah, well, I'd say his anger is justified. Listen, I really appreciate you guys came here to tell me this. And believe me when I say I'm not going anywhere. I don't want to cause any trouble, but I'm not going to let Alice get her way, either. I just want to be with Edward."

"And that's all he wants as well." Emmett grinned. "Relax, Bella. He and Alice have always been close, but I know he won't back down when it comes to this. He and I had a pretty long talk yesterday, and he made it perfectly clear where he stands."

Rose smiled. "And I like to think I'm a pretty good judge of character. I never liked Vicky, and I couldn't understand what Edward and Alice saw in her. But I have a good feeling about you, Bella. I think you and Edward will be good for each other." She paused, and when she spoke again, there was a hint of warning in her voice, "Just don't make me regret saying that."

I gulped, shaking my head. "I won't. Trust me."

We parted shortly after that, and I felt like I had gotten a lot to think about. In a way, I could understand Alice's concern, even more so now, after what Rose and Emmett had told me about her and Vicky being friends. But I still couldn't accept the way she would just walk all over Edward and make decisions for him, like his own feelings and opinions didn't matter. That was what upset me the most.

Edward called later that night, asking if I wanted to come over. We hadn't made any plans to see each other, so - needless to say - I was thrilled to hear from him. Like I wouldn't jump to any opportunity for us to spend some time together. He offered to come pick me up and I happily agreed.

Not wasting any time, I took a quick shower and changed into a new pair of jeans and the blue top I had bought the last time I went shopping. Then I ran a brush through my hair, put on some mascara and lip-gloss, and I was done. I decided to wait for Edward outside. He showed up less than ten minutes later, and being the usual gentleman, he went out and walked around the car to open the door for me.

He was rewarded with a sweet, yet passionate kiss that lasted for at least two minutes once we were both inside the car. When I finally pulled back, Edward chuckled. "Well, I guess now I don't have to keep wondering if you're happy to see me. A kiss like that sort of speaks for itself."

I shook my head with an eye-roll. Silly man! "I'll always be happy to see you," I told him truthfully. He grinned, gave me a soft peck on the cheek, and started the car. We were back at his place before I knew it, probably because I had spent most of the drive looking at Edward instead of paying attention to the surroundings. And I was pretty sure I had been smiling like a fool.

Once we were inside his apartment, Edward asked if I wanted something to drink. When I accepted his offer, he gestured for me to follow him into the kitchen, where he opened the fridge and pulled out a bottle of wine. "Is this okay?" he asked. "I mean, I know you like wine, but... If you'd prefer something else...?" he gave me an uncertain look.

"No, wine is perfectly okay," I assured him, getting the feeling he was a bit nervous, although I wasn't sure why. He looked relieved and went to find two wineglasses. A few minutes later, we were sitting next to each other on the living room couch, and I leaned back against the soft cushion, raising my glass. "Well, cheers." I took a small sip.

"Cheers." He picked up his glass, but made no attempt to drink. I was just about to ask if something was bothering him when he spoke up, softly, "Bella, Emmett called me before. He said he and Rose saw you today."

_Oh._

"Um, yeah...?" I gave him a somewhat guarded look. To be honest, it hadn't occurred to me before, but now when I thought about it, I wasn't all that surprised Emmett had called him after the conversation we had earlier. It didn't bother me, but I couldn't help but wonder what they had talked about. Oh, well, I had a feeling I was about to find out.

"They both like you, by the way." Edward took a gulp of his wine. "Look, he told me they explained some things to you, about Alice." He glanced at me. At my nod, he continued, "I still haven't spoken to her after... well, you know?" I nodded again. "She keeps trying, and I keep ignoring her. Really mature - I know," he rolled his eyes.

I put my hand on his arm. "You have every right to be upset with her. I don't blame you for not wanting to see her. But..." I could not believe I was about to say this. "...maybe you and Alice need to sit down and have a heart-to-heart. You should hear her out, but she really needs to listen to you as well. She has to understand that you don't approve of what she's been doing."

"You'd think she's already come to that conclusion, what with the silent treatment I've been giving her for the last couple of days," he mumbled. Then he sighed. "How can you be so rational about this?"

I snorted. "I'm just trying to be realistic. If I'll encourage you to keep avoiding her, she'll just get another reason to dislike me. And besides..." I looked him in the eyes, "I know you two used to be really close. You can't give that up because of me. Alice is important to you, and you are important to her as well. I'm sure you can work this out."

"Maybe." He didn't sound totally convinced, but not completely opposed to the idea, either. There was a moment of silence before he went on, quietly, "Alice feels guilty about what happened. Not the other day, I'm talking about before, with... _Vicky_." He practically spat the name out. "She thinks it's her fault, since she was the one encouraging me to go out with her in the first place."

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond to that. "Emmett said they used to be best friends. I take it you knew her as well, then. I mean, before you started..." I gritted my teeth, "...dating her."

He shrugged, clearly uncomfortable. "I knew who she was, sure. But I never really talked to her. She was... and I..." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Look, aside from Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rose - and now you - I've never been much for socializing with other people my age. I don't think I have to tell you the reason." He rolled his eyes. "I _wanted_ to, don't get me wrong. But I always felt out of place."

I could definitely relate to that feeling, having often felt like an outsider as well, even among my friends. But now when I compared my friends to Edward's, I realized there was a huge difference.

Edward's friends actually cared about him. My friends? They didn't know me for who I really was, never had, and my well-being was of little or no importance to them. As long as I met and held their standards, keeping up a good reputation, they couldn't care less about what was going on in my life. The realization made me sad, but I pushed the thought away.

This was about Edward - not me. So I squeezed his hand in encouragement. "Go on. I'm listening."


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Bella**

Edward looked down at our entwined hands. Somehow they seemed to keep us connected in a way that went beyond physical, and I realized I was holding my breath. Then he raised his eyes to meet mine. "I'm not sure where to begin," he admitted. "I know you want to hear about... _her_, but..." he hesitated, giving me a helpless look, as if hoping I would give him some directions how to proceed.

I enjoyed the way his thumb was absently stroking the back of my hand, almost as if he wasn't even aware of doing it, and I wondered if the contact was as soothing to him as it was to me. "No, I mean, I do. But I only want to hear as much as you're willing to tell me. You don't owe me any answers, Edward. If you're not comfortable talking about this..." I left the rest of the sentence hanging.

He let out a snort. "Hell, no, I'm not comfortable talking about it. It's fucking embarrassing, Bella. But I will tell you." He paused. "Alice and Vicky had been best friends for years when she suddenly one day started showing interest in me, and while I failed to see why, I was flattered. So, after some major coaxing and encouraging words from Alice, I asked her out. And she said yes."

I waited patiently for him to continue, although a part of me almost asked him to stop. This would not be a nice tale - I realized that much. And I hated the thought of Edward having to relive what was obviously a most unpleasant and painful memory. But yet I remained silent. Because, deep down, I knew he needed to get this off his chest, once and for all.

Besides, I had already told him I would listen. And I also had a feeling hearing Edward's story would help me understand him better, since I had started to suspect that his low self-esteem didn't just stem from his weight issues alone. There had to be more. And as far as I could tell, it all came back to one thing, or to be more accurate - one person.

Vicky.

"She never wanted us to go out in public, though," he went on quietly. "I got suspicious, thinking she was ashamed to be seen with me but it turned out that wasn't the only reason." He looked away. "I found out later she had sort of an on again off again relationship with a guy named James. Alice knew about them, of course, but since Vicky had convinced her it was over, she decided not to mention him to me."

"What? Why?" I stared at him in disbelief. "How could she keep something like that from you?"

Edward shrugged. "Alice hated James, and she knew I'd never go out with Vicky if I thought there was the slightest possibility another guy was still in the picture." I opened my mouth, but he wasn't finished, "My sister had this illusion that if Vicky and I would just start hanging out, she'd forget all about James. In Alice's head, the two of us were the perfect match." He rolled his eyes.

I was confused. "Wait, so Vicky didn't want James to find out she was seeing someone else. But why would she agree to go out with you in the first place, if she was still hung up on this other guy?"

"It wasn't like that." He sighed. "She wasn't afraid of him finding out about us, because he already knew. James and I went to school together, and he was known for being an ass even back then. He always liked to use other people and play with them, just for his own amusement. And..." he swallowed, "...one of his favorite activities was making bets."

_Oh, no... _

I felt a sickening sensation in my stomach as I slowly started to see where this was headed. But if my suspicions were right, this was even worse than I had imagined. I closed my eyes for a moment, praying against hope that I was wrong, because it would just be too cruel. "Edward, tell me she didn't..." I couldn't bring myself to finish.

"I was an idiot for thinking it was real, that she actually..." He shook his head, staring out into the distance. "I went to her place one day. He was there, in bed with her." A pause. "She didn't even pretend to be remorseful. In fact, she admitted straight out that it had all just been a bet. James had placed a wager on how long it would take her to..." he inhaled shakily, "...fuck the fat guy."

My mouth fell open, but no words would come. What could I possibly say?

"I realized she didn't want to go out in public because it would be a waste of her time. To her, it was all just about winning the fucking bet. And the sooner she'd get it over with, well, then she wouldn't be stuck with me anymore, I guess. I still don't know how big the wager was - if there was money involved or something else. I really don't care." His voice was flat, lifeless, and his face revealed no emotion.

"Alice had a fit when she found out." He let out a humorless laugh. "Although she's never admitted it out loud, I'm pretty sure she went to find Vicky and punched her in the face, because I saw her a few days later with a black eye, and... well, I asked Alice jokingly if she had something to do with that. She was pretty vague, rambling a lot, but she didn't deny it."

_Way to go, Alice!_ I mentally cheered her on, wishing I had been there so I could have done the same thing, and for a moment, I found myself actually liking Edward's sister. But then I recalled her callous intention to split me and Edward up, and my anger towards her returned.

It hit me that I had scooted closer to Edward without even realizing I had moved. "When did all this happen?" I asked him softly.

Thinking for a second, he then grimaced, looking a bit flustered. "Almost two years ago." He glanced at me. "I know, you're probably thinking I should be over it by now."

"God, no, that's so not what I'm thinking. Not at all." I raised my hand to cup his cheek, a lump forming in my throat when he flinched back and quickly turned his face away. "Edward?" I was hurt, and I knew he could probably tell from the sound of my voice.

"Just give me a moment," he mumbled almost pleadingly, stubbornly avoiding my gaze, and I found I didn't have the heart to object. I could totally understand how humiliating it must have been for him when the truth came out, and I knew telling him now that he shouldn't be embarrassed would not make him feel better. I wondered - and not for the first time - what was wrong with some people.

After what seemed like forever, Edward finally took a deep breath and turned to look at me, his eyes searching my face intently. I didn't know what he was looking for, but judging by the way his eyes darkened, he wasn't too pleased with what he found. He let out a groan. "Fuck, Bella, I don't want your pity. Stop looking at me like that."

I shook my head in protest. "No, Edward, there's a difference between pity and compassion. What she did to you was awful and wrong, and I wish I could just take away the pain that bitch caused you. But I promise you, this changes nothing when it comes to my feelings for you. Nothing. Do you hear me?"

He kept studying my face closely for the longest time, as if he was trying to see directly into my soul. Then he finally nodded, letting out a shuddering breath. "Yeah, I hear you," he whispered, and I could see his eyes glistening with unshed tears. "I'm sorry, Bella. It messed me up. In my heart, I know I can trust you, but sometimes it's so easy to forget. And I'm afraid your patience with me will eventually run out."

I placed both my hands on his shoulders, looking him straight in the eyes. "That'll never happen." My voice cracked but that didn't stop me. "Edward, don't you see? I feel the same way. You were so wonderful when I told you about my... problem, but sometimes I can't help but fear you will get tired of me and move on to someone who isn't..." I struggled to find the right word, "...broken."

"You're not broken," he protested, gently taking my face between his hands, and I could see the sincerity shine in his eyes. "But even if you were, I would never give up on you."

"And the same goes for me." I sighed. "Maybe we're both messed up in our own ways. But that's okay, as long as we-"

"...have each other," he finished and nodded in agreement, only to then cringe with embarrassment. "God, that sounded corny even to me."

A soft giggle escaped me. "Corny or not - it's true." I was quiet for a moment. "Edward, I really think you should talk to Alice. I can see now why she feels guilty about what happened, but she needs to get over it and move on. And more importantly - she needs to let _you_ move on. This has gone far enough. Don't you agree?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I guess so. That doesn't mean I'm ready to forgive her, but you're right. We do need to talk." I gave him a sympathetic smile, thinking that particular conversation was bound to become uncomfortable. But he needed to set Alice straight once and for all, for the sake of both of them.

"Look, I was wondering..." I hesitated a little - Edward had mentioned something the other day that had been stuck in my head ever since, and now I was desperately trying to figure out a way to bring it up without offending him or making him feel uneasy. "You said you've been getting hurtful comments your whole life. Did you mean that literally? I guess what I'm trying to ask..." I bit my lip. "I mean..."

Somehow, he seemed to understand what I couldn't bring myself to ask out loud, and he clearly decided to take pity on me. "You want to know if I've always been like this." It wasn't a question. I was grateful beyond words that he didn't use the word 'fat' to describe himself this time, but I still felt awful and wished I had just kept my mouth shut.

I lowered my eyes in shame and shook my head. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to insult you. Just forget I said anything. It's not like it matters to me. You know that, right?" I glanced at him, silently begging him to say yes.

"I'm starting to see that." To my huge relief, he didn't appear to be insulted. "Bella, it's okay - you can ask me things. Really, I don't mind. If there's something I absolutely don't feel like talking about, I'll just let you know, all right?" I could only nod, letting out the breath I had been holding. He went on, "As for your question, yes, I've had a weight problem for as long as I can remember."

"Oh." I wondered if he had ever made any genuine attempt to do something about it. It didn't seem appropriate to ask him straight out, though, so I kept my curiosity to myself. Instead I blurted out, "It must have been really hard," only to instantly feel like an idiot for stating the obvious.

Edward ignored my comment. After a moment's silence, he started talking again, "I told you my father died when I was sixteen. What I didn't tell you was..." he ran his fingers awkwardly through his hair. "He struggled with obesity as well. I used to be ashamed of him when I was a kid and he would come pick me up from school." He swallowed. "I guess it didn't occur to me at the time that I was just like him."

His blunt honesty tugged at my heartstrings. I snuggled up against him and slid my arm across his chest, gently putting my head down on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry you lost your dad."

"It was a long time ago." He shrugged, but I suspected he wasn't really as indifferent as he was letting on.

I nodded slowly, tracing the pattern on his shirt with my index finger. "You said you two weren't really close. Wanna tell me why?"

He was quiet for so long, I started to think he wouldn't respond at all. But then finally he spoke up, huskily, "We weren't close, because I wouldn't allow it. It wasn't his fault. I just..." He let out a shaky breath. "I resented him for being the way he was. And I absolutely hated that I was exactly the same. I never wanted to become like him." He rolled his eyes. "I can see now what a fucking hypocrite I was."

"Why do you say that?" I didn't like hearing him talk about himself that way, but I knew he truly believed his own words. It broke my heart that he just couldn't see how amazing he really was.

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward pulled away from me, just a little, but my heart still cried out at the loss of contact. I needed him closer - he was just too far away. But he kept the distance as he went on in a flat voice, "He did everything he could to be a good father to me, but I know he could tell how I really felt about him, even though I never said anything out loud."

"Edward..." It hit me then that I had no idea what to tell him. And I realized he really needed to get this out. So I just squeezed his hand, wordlessly encouraging him to go on.

He closed his eyes for a moment, clearly working up the courage to continue. "I know what it's like to be treated like crap by total strangers. It's humiliating, not to mention that it fucking hurts. But it can't possibly be worse than not being accepted by your own son."

"I'm sorry." Such small, lame words after what Edward had just shared with me. But I didn't know what else to say. I felt my cheeks become hot. Why couldn't I just come up with something meaningful?

"It's okay." It was like he could read my mind. He looked away. "I don't deserve your sympathy, anyway."

I shifted my position a little, cupping his cheek and forcing him to face me again. "Edward, don't do that. Everyone makes mistakes. It doesn't necessarily make you a bad person, undeserving of sympathy and compassion. I will never look at you that way." I paused for emphasis. "Remember when I said you were perfect? Maybe I was wrong. But then again, who is? I know I'm not."

He shook his head. "You're always so quick to defend and justify my actions. Not saying I don't appreciate it, but it's just not right. You are sweet and kind, and completely selfless. Me? I'm so far from that, Bella. I know you don't like when I put myself down, but how could I not? After what I just told you, how can you look at me and not see the monster I really am?"

"Stop it!" I gave him a firm look, fighting back my anger. I wasn't really angry at Edward, though, just the situation. Here I had been thinking the incident with Vicky was his most painful memory from the past. Now I started to see there was more. "You're wrong, all right? I don't care what you say. I wouldn't let Alice scare me off, so why do you seem to think I'd let you?"

"I'm not trying to scare you off!" I could hear the desperation in his voice. "Bella, you just don't get it. I don't _want_ you to look at me like that. My feelings for you go way beyond what I ever thought I felt for... her. I thought I was in love back then, but... It's different with you. You actually make me feel good about myself." He paused. "Even when I shouldn't."

"But why shouldn't you? Haven't you been through enough already?" I silently begged him to at least try to see things from my point of view. The revelation about his father had come as a total surprise to me, but now that I knew, I wasn't going to let him keep beating himself up about it. "Edward, there's nothing wrong with wanting something good in your life."

"Yeah, well, there's a difference between wanting something and actually getting to keep it." Edward looked away, but not fast enough for me to miss the single tear trickling down his cheek. He quickly wiped it away. "Good things don't last, Bella. At least not for me." His voice cracked.

I did the only thing I could think of in that moment. I kissed him.

If Edward was taken aback by my unexpected act, he quickly recovered as his arms instinctively found their way around me, pulling me closer, and I boldly straddled his lap, placing my hands on both sides of his face. Greedily deepening the kiss, I enjoyed the way he immediately responded, hungrily and eagerly.

"Edward..." I gasped, reluctantly pulling back for air, and then my lips were back on his before my mind had even registered I had spoken in the first place. That was okay - I doubted I would be able to form a full sentence, anyway.

Eventually we both collapsed back into the couch, panting, and I felt my heart beat rapidly inside my chest. I couldn't find the energy - nor the will - to climb off Edward's lap, so I remained where I was, letting out a blissful sigh as I buried my face in the crook of his neck.

"Tell me," he finally murmured into my ear, his voice pleading. "Please, Bella, I need to hear it."

I didn't have to ask what he meant. Somehow, I just knew. "This is real," I whispered, my fingers moving to stroke the soft hair at the back of his neck. "And I promise it'll last." I meant it, from the bottom of my heart. The idea that it might not, well, it simply didn't exist to me.

Edward owned me. Body and soul. Now and forever.

It was all happening so fast. We both knew it. But that didn't change the fact that I was already irrevocably in love with him.

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><p>The next morning, I called my mother. I hadn't talked to her in a while, and I knew I couldn't avoid introducing Edward to her forever. The whole thing had been my idea from the beginning, but as the days passed, I kept finding reasons to put it off. Of course, I hadn't let Edward know I was stalling, not wanting him to think I was having second thoughts.<p>

Even though we had come a long way, I knew he would still automatically jump to the conclusion that I didn't want my mom to meet him because I was ashamed of him. It couldn't be farther from the truth, though - if anything, it was the other way around. Renee could be nice and polite if she wanted to, _wanted_ being the key word, and I was terrified she would say or do something inappropriate.

In other words, I couldn't help but fear she would drop some stupid comment like the last time, and hurt Edward again. I was prepared to do anything to prevent that from happening, including postponing this particular meeting for as long as I could. But I had finally told myself to stop beating around the bush and just get it over with.

Renee's reaction when I informed her that my new boyfriend was the same guy she had insulted weeks ago at the art gallery was pretty much what I had expected. I could hear her click her tongue in disapproval, even over the phone. "Isabella, you're still so young. You should go out more, not just settle with the first man you come across."

I somehow managed to hold my tongue, deciding it wasn't worth the effort to argue with her now. Something told me I would need all my energy for the actual meeting. "Believe me, Mom, I know what I'm doing, not to mention what I want. Now, about today. Are you going to behave?"

She sighed. "You make it sound like I'm a horrible person. Have you even considered how awkward it would be for me to face that guy again after what happened?"

Was she serious? Couldn't she see it would be every bit as awkward for me and Edward, if not more? "You know, you could always apologize to Edward," I suggested patiently. "He's not one to hold grudges. Just say you're sorry, and mean it. Problem solved." There was only silence coming from the other end. "Mom?"

"Fine, I'll meet him. Where do you want to do this?" The way she said it made it sound like I was forcing her to do something extremely unpleasant.

"Renee." I would call my mother by her real name in my head all the time, but I barely ever did it to her face. Maybe I hoped it would catch her off guard so she would actually listen. "I wan't you to promise to behave. Edward is important to me, and I will not have you disrespect him again."

"If it means that much to you - all right, I promise." She didn't sound happy, but at least she had agreed to my request, and I figured it was as far as she would be willing to go. I just didn't understand what the problem was, after all, we were all adults here. But Renee had a way of acting both petulant and downright immature when she didn't get her way. I had a feeling she might very well be pouting right now.

We agreed to meet up for lunch, and by the time Edward arrived to pick me up, I was pretty much a nervous wreck. My stomach was growling, since I had skipped breakfast, but I doubted I would be able to eat anything. I managed a smile as I slipped into the car and buckled up. It hit me that he was most likely nervous as well. "It's not too late to cancel," I told him softly, almost hoping he would say yes.

"Bella..." He reached out to stroke my cheek. "I'm okay with this. It'll be all right. No matter what happens, it'll be over in a few hours."

I couldn't help but snort. "That's one way of looking at it, I guess." He smiled crookedly, and I gave him a suspicious look. "How come you're not freaking out about this?"

"What's the point in freaking out?" He smoothly maneuvered the car through the traffic, all the while casting not so discreet glances my way. "You look very pretty today, by the way. Not that you don't always look... Never mind, you know what I mean. You're beautiful. I feel like I should be telling you that all the time, but then you might get fed up with me." He let out an embarrassed chuckle.

I practically melted at his adorable rambling. And it took a while before I realized he had successfully steered my thoughts away from the fact that we were just minutes away from seeing Renee.

He was good.

When we arrived at the restaurant - which was actually more of a deli - I was feeling slightly less anxious and a little more hopeful things would turn out all right after all. Edward and I walked inside hand in hand, and I held my head up high as I searched the room for any sight of my mother.

I spotted her almost right away, seated at a table in the back. She looked up and smiled when she saw me and Edward approach, but I could tell it didn't quite reach her eyes. I forced a smile in return, but it felt strained as well. "Hi, Mom. I'd like you to meet Edward Masen - my boyfriend. Edward - this is my mother, Renee."

This was it. No turning back now.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: I'd like to put a minor warning on this chapter, since I know some of you will find a certain scene disturbing. Just read with caution and feel free to skim through that particular part if you feel it becomes too much. I ask you to have in mind that Bella is a bulimic, and this is what she does. Thank you for reading, and a special thanks and lots of hugs to each and every one of you who have taken time to leave me a review so far. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 11<strong>

**Bella**

"Are you going to eat that, Isabella, or just stare at it?" Renee asked when she looked up and realized I had yet to touch my food. We had each ordered a large sub sandwich, and while it both looked and smelled tasty enough, I just couldn't bring myself to dig in. Instead it was just lying there on my plate, mocking me.

I had almost settled for just a soda, skipping the food altogether, but changed my mind at the last second since I didn't want to make Edward uncomfortable. I knew he was a bit sensitive when it came to eating in front of others, especially people he didn't know. At least if we all had some food on our plates, he wouldn't feel like he was sticking out as much.

Not that he should have to worry about that, but I knew he would.

Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to pick up my sandwich and take a small nibble. As I chewed, it seemed to just grow in my mouth. I put it back down.

"So, how is... work?" My mother never bothered to hide her disapproval of my choice of work. Not waiting for me to respond, she went on, "Seriously, when are you going to start looking for a real job? Or are you planning to stand behind a counter serving coffee for the rest of your life?" She laughed a little, turning to Edward, "I always tell Isabella she can do so much better than working at a coffee shop."

Edward frowned, squeezing my hand under the table. "Well, as long as she's happy," he shrugged, "I don't think it really matters what she does for a living."

Renee's eyes narrowed for a moment, but then she smiled, although it seemed a bit forced. "Of course. So, Edward, what do _you_ do, if you don't mind my asking?"

He took a sip of his Coke. "I work at Bashas' grocery store."

"How... interesting." Renee wrinkled her nose, looking like she had just found a dead bug in her drink. She turned back to me, "You sure know how to pick them, don't you?" A small chuckle escaped her.

_What?_

"Excuse me?" I gave her an incredulous look. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing." She rolled her eyes and took another bite of her sandwich. I relished the moment it took her to chew, taking the opportunity to glance at Edward and see if he appeared to be offended. To my relief, it didn't seem that way, but he was still frowning slightly at my mother.

And then, as if he had felt me watching him, he instantly looked over at me, smiling reassuringly when our eyes met. I tried to relax, but it was hard. Renee had that effect on me.

Obviously sensing my uneasiness, Edward cleared his throat and changed the subject. "So, Renee, I understand you're interested in art. Do you visit a lot of galleries?" He was clearly making an effort to start a conversation with my mom, and I couldn't help but smile at him, silently thanking him for being so sweet and thoughtful.

"Yes, it's very refreshing. You meet all kinds of people." Her eyes were locked on me. "And in time, you learn to tell the difference between those who are important, and those who you should avoid at all costs."

My smile faded and I felt like I had just been hit by a bucket of ice water. To anyone else, it may have sounded like she was just speaking of people in general, but I wasn't fooled. I wanted to call her out on it, tell her off, but I was afraid it would result in Edward feeling embarrassed. He just wanted to get through this - for me.

He didn't need me pointing out the obvious, like Renee's small-minded opinions and intolerance of those who she considered to be beneath her.

"So how would you define 'important'?" Edward asked seemingly calmly, his hand discreetly caressing my thigh in a soothing gesture. He was absolutely amazing, not letting her get to him. I just wished he wouldn't have to endure this.

My mom looked at him for a moment, then turned back to me, rudely dismissing his question. "Isabella, what was the name of that boy you went out with last year? You know who I'm talking about - he was starting his own business. He was very attractive. Anyway, I ran into him the other day and I couldn't remember his name."

"Who, Paul?" I stared at her incredulously. "I would hardly call him a boy, mother - he's over thirty. And I never went out with him." I turned to Edward, explaining, "We were forced together by _her_," I nodded towards Renee, "when we both attended the same dinner party about a year ago. I don't know why she's trying to imply there was more to it than that."

I looked straight at my mother when I said the last part, losing what was left of my patience. As for Renee keeping her word, she was walking a very fine line. She hadn't said anything rude directly to Edward, but she kept dropping not so subtle hints about where she was standing when it came to our relationship. It was obvious to me that she didn't approve of him, and it was making me see red.

And now she was desperate enough to bring up a man I had been making brief conversation with over a year ago, and trying to make it sound like we were involved? Unbelievable.

"You know, I think it's probably time for us to leave." I pushed my plate away and started to get up.

Renee blinked in surprise. "But you haven't finished eating. What's the rush?" I opened my mouth, but she continued, "And Edward has half of his sandwich left as well. Sit down, honey. There's no point in letting all that food go to waste." It was an innocent comment, really, but the way she was looking at Edward when she mentioned the food spoke volumes.

His cheeks turned slightly red, but he stoically held his head up high as he addressed my mother, getting up as well. "I think Bella is right. If she wants to leave, then that's what we'll be doing. It was nice meeting you."

"Yes, we must do it again some time," I muttered sarcastically, glaring at Renee. "I can hardly wait."

Her expression changed from perplexed to annoyed as she stood up. "Is that the way to talk to your mother? Remember your manners." She went on, her eyes still on me, but it was obvious she was now talking to Edward, "My daughter can be quite... difficult at times, as I'm sure you've noticed. She must have gotten it from her father."

That. Was. It.

"Don't you dare blame Dad," I warned, clenching my fists in anger. "Unlike you, Charlie actually cares about other people and not just himself. So if I'm being _difficult_, as you put it, it's all because of you."

Her hand flew up to her chest in a shocked gesture, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. "What has gotten into you?" she demanded. "Let's be straight, here, Isabella. You're the one who wanted me to meet your..." she glanced at Edward, "..._friend_. So why are you acting like this? Really, honey..." She looked around the room. "You shouldn't make a scene."

"That's all you care about, isn't it?" I let out a snort. "Don't worry, Mom, I'm not going to embarrass you here at this fancy deli."

She shook her head in frustration, but Edward stepped in before she could say anything, which was probably just as well. My mother had a way of bringing out the worst in me, but for the first time, it hit me that maybe it went both ways. He placed his hand gently on my back. "Bella, calm down. Don't say anything you'll regret later. Let's just go."

I took a deep, calming breath and nodded. It was obvious that Renee and I would not see eye to eye on this, and I felt like it would be a waste of time trying to explain to her why I was so upset with her. She just didn't understand. I figured that, in her head, she hadn't really done anything wrong.

And I disagreed.

"You really think Charlie is so perfect?" she asked in a low but heated voice, taking a step closer to me.

I couldn't understand why she insisted on bringing my father into this. "Mom-"

She continued as if I hadn't spoken, "If I hadn't taken you away from him all those years ago, if he had been the one to raise you by himself, you would've been dead by now." My eyes widened and I just stared at her, momentarily stunned. She sighed. "Yes, Isabella, I remember all about your childish cries for attention. Your father never noticed anything. So don't tell me he cares about you more than I do."

I swallowed hard. "Edward, please take me home now," I whispered. I could see the concern on his face, but he just nodded and took my hand, his eyes lingering on Renee as he led me past her and out of the restaurant. She may have called out for me, but I paid no attention as I just followed Edward blindly to his car.

_Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry..._

"Are you okay, Bella?" Edward asked after a few minutes of driving in silence.

"M-hm," I nodded, knowing I wasn't fooling him, but I had to try, at least for now. The nausea I had been fighting all morning kept growing, and now I felt like I was only seconds away from being sick. I just wanted to get home.

On second thought, I didn't think I'd even make it that far. "Stop the car, please," I gasped.

"What?" Edward turned to look at me, his confusion obvious.

"Stop the car," I repeated pleadingly, pressing my hand against my mouth as I suddenly feared I would lose the contents of my stomach right there. Edward's eyes became wide when he seemed to realize I was serious, and he quickly pulled over. I was out of the car before it had come to a complete stop, dropping to my knees at the side of the road.

I retched and sputtered, but nothing came up. Not very surprising, seeing how my stomach was practically empty, aside from the few, tiny bites of my sandwich I had managed to force down. I could feel Edward's presence behind me, but he kept his distance, clearly not sure whether to approach me or if I would want some space.

God, I didn't want him to see me like this.

"I'm sorry," I all but sobbed, suddenly overwhelmed by humiliation. "God, Edward, I'm so sorry about the way my mom acted towards you. You must think-"

"Bella, stop." He was at my side in an instant. "I'm fine, don't worry about me. Your mom was... well, to be honest, I had expected worse. Really, it's okay."

"How can you say that?" I wiped away a tear. "Edward, it's not okay. Not at all."

He reached out to brush a strand of my hair away from my face. "Actually, I'm much more concerned about the way she's treating _you_. Especially if this is the outcome."

I shook my head in protest. "No, this is... It must've been something I ate. I'm better now." He didn't look convinced at all. "Really. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing." He pressed a kiss to my forehead. "All right, if you're sure, then let's get back in the car so I can take you home. Then we'll talk more about this."

I sighed, but nodded in agreement. Once Edward started driving again, I was forced to admit to myself that I didn't feel better at all. I still felt sick to my stomach, and I couldn't wait to get back to my apartment so I could do something about it. Although I needed to be really discreet, so Edward wouldn't get suspicious. Because it was obvious that he had his mind set on coming inside with me.

Normally, I'd have no problem with that. Quite the opposite. Of course, in all honesty, I didn't really want him to just drop me off and then leave. I wanted him to come in and stay with me. But I also wanted to curl up in my bed, pull the covers over my head and forget all about the last couple of hours. Preferably with Edward right there next to me.

But judging by the look on his face, he had other things in mind. Like talking.

As soon as we were back at my place, I tried to excuse myself, but Edward grabbed my arm to stop me. "Bella, wait."

"I really need to go to the bathroom," I protested weakly, but couldn't find it in me to object as he pulled me into his arms. I let out a sigh of defeat and melted into his embrace, knowing I would probably agree to anything he asked. Unfortunately, my stomach was still churning, and I suddenly felt a wave of dizziness coming over me.

Edward must have felt me tense up, because he instantly pulled back, his eyes worriedly examining my face. "You're pale as a ghost. Bella, are you...?"

"I have to go," I choked out, not sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when his hands dropped from my shoulders and he took a step back. He did no attempt to stop me as I turned around and ran to the bathroom, struggling to ignore the way my head was spinning.

Somehow, I managed to remember to close the door behind me before I sank to the floor in front of the toilet, not hesitating as I immediately stuck two fingers down my throat. I was only vaguely aware of the sound of flushing a moment later and I could hear myself gasping and breathing heavily.

I stood up on wobbly legs, my trembling fingers gripping the sink to keep myself from falling back down. As I fumbled with the faucet, my arms felt impossibly heavy and I found myself too weak to even turn the water on. I could feel cold sweat break out on my forehead as the room started spinning faster and faster.

And everything went dark.

* * *

><p>"Bella? Come on, sweetheart, open your eyes." It took a moment before I recognized Edward's voice, frantic with worry.<p>

I felt like I was trapped under water, struggling to break through the surface, until I was finally able to breathe again, and I realized I was looking into a pair of beautiful, emerald eyes. "Where are we?" I croaked.

He let out a sigh of relief, and that was when I realized I was lying on the floor with my head resting in Edward's lap, his hands moving carefully over my face and upper body as if checking for damage. "In the bathroom," he finally responded quietly, his voice shaky and unsteady.

Bathroom... I came here to...

"What are you doing in here?" I whispered nervously, because I was hit by the most disturbing feeling. Something was very wrong. I just couldn't figure out what it was.

"What am I...?" he gave me an incredulous look. "Bella, you scared the fuck out of me! I heard a crash, and then you wouldn't respond when I knocked and called your name. I found you passed out on the fucking floor - I'm not going to apologize for barging in here!"

Whether it was the shock of what he had just told me or the anger in his voice, I didn't know, but his words hit me like a slap in the face and hot tears of shame started spilling down my cheeks. "I-I'm sorry," I hiccuped, unsuccessfully trying to fight back the sobs. "Please, don't be mad at me."

"Shh, shh, no, I'm not mad. I'm so sorry, love, I didn't mean to yell at you. I just... shit!" Edward let out a shuddering breath, and as he tenderly wiped away my tears, I realized he was shaking. I had obviously freaked him out big time, and I knew I couldn't blame him for being a bit on edge. He must have panicked when he saw me lying there on the floor. Oh, God! Did I really pass out?

_And did he actually just call me 'love'?_

I didn't really get the chance to ponder more as Edward slowly shifted position, gently slipping his hand behind my neck to support my head, and scooped me up in his arms as if I weighed nothing. Then he carried me out of the bathroom, cradling me carefully against his chest, like I was a porcelain doll and he feared I might break.

It took a moment before I realized he was heading for the door and not my bedroom. "Where are we going?" I mumbled groggily, a part of me wanting to insist he'd let me walk by myself, and the other part being too comfortable to object. I was just so tired, and felt like I could easily sleep for a whole week straight.

"I'm taking you to the hospital," he explained, matter-of-factly.

Within a second, I was wide awake, staring up at him in horror. "What? No! Why?"

"Bella, you passed out. You might have hit your head - I'm not taking any chances." Seeing I was about to protest, his face softened and he added, almost pleadingly, "Please, don't fight me on this. I can't lose you, Bella. You're too important to me."

His words made my eyes well up again. I could see the worry etched on his face and knew he was genuinely concerned, but I just couldn't bear the thought of going to the hospital. "You're important to me, too," I whispered, struggling to raise my hand so I could stroke his cheek. "You won't lose me, Edward, I promise. I'll be okay. I just need some rest, and I'll be much more comfortable in my own bed."

He shook his head. "A doctor should check you out, just to make sure you don't have a concussion. It won't take long. I'll take you back here myself."

"No." I closed my eyes for a second. "Just put me down on the couch. Let's see if I can sit up by myself." He opened his mouth to object, but then let out a defeated sigh and nodded in agreement, reluctantly doing as I asked. I breathed a sigh of relief.

He wouldn't let go of me completely, though, keeping his arm around my back as he scanned my face, clearly searching for any sign of pain or dizziness. I managed to hold his gaze, watching him relax ever so slightly, and gave him small smile. "See? I'm all good."

"Bella..." he started, but I interrupted him by pressing my lips softly against his, effectively silencing his protest. For a brief moment I felt him give in and return the kiss, but then he firmly pulled back and literally held me at arm's length, his face a mixture of longing and frustration.

I sighed. "Edward, seriously, I'm all right now. I'm pretty sure I didn't hit my head, or I'd probably be in a lot of pain by now. I'm just tired, and..." I hesitated, "I haven't really eaten much." I had meant to reassure him, but the way his expression darkened told me it had been the wrong thing to say.

"When was the last time you ate?" he asked in a low voice.

I bit my lip, trying to remember. "Well, aside from a few bites of that sandwich I had for lunch, I had a bagel with cream cheese and an apple..." my eyes widened as realization hit me, "...for breakfast, yesterday."

Had it really been that long? I tried to recall when I had last eaten a real, cooked meal, a wave of uneasiness welling over me as I was forced to admit I couldn't actually remember. In my defense, it wasn't like I had been skipping meals on purpose. I just...

"I haven't been all that hungry," I weakly defended myself when I realized Edward had yet to respond. As I dared to cast a guarded look in his direction, I was met by wide, startled eyes.

"Bella, you need to eat," he finally whispered, fear and desperation evident in his voice. "Sweetheart, this is serious. I fucking hate pushing you about this, because I know how hard it is for you, but you can't keep starving yourself. It's dangerous." He swallowed. "You're scaring me, love. I don't know what to do."

This time, there was no hesitation. But his sweet endearment brought me very little comfort when he looked so frightened, so lost. And I was willing to do anything to remove that fearful look from his face. I opened my mouth to tell him I was sorry, but then stopped myself as I knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear.

"You can get me a snack," I told him instead, trying to keep my tone light. In that moment, I decided Edward was right - I had to start eating like a normal person. This wasn't fair to him. He shouldn't have to constantly worry about his girlfriend over something as trivial as food.

Besides, I wanted to look more attractive to him. And how nice could it possibly be for him to hug and hold someone who was barely more than skin and bones? I grimaced at the thought.

"Don't say that," he objected with a frown, and I realized I had spoken out loud. I blushed as he went on, "You've basically been telling me the same thing from day one, so trust me when I say this. You'll always be beautiful to me, just the way you are. You could be thin as you are now, or as big as me, or anything in-between. It wouldn't change the way I feel about you. All I care about is that you're healthy."

My breath got stuck in my throat and my eyes were stinging again. I couldn't cry anymore - I was so tired of crying. So I launched myself at Edward, throwing my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I tried focusing on the sound of his breathing, inhaling his familiar scent. Anything to keep from crumbling.

"You're my Bella," he murmured into my ear. "I'll always love hugging and holding you."

"I love _you_," I whispered, only to freeze for a second as the words registered in my mind. I hadn't planned to blurt it out like that, but once I had, I knew I would never take it back. I _couldn't_. Because it was the truth. I loved Edward, and it was time for him to find out.

I felt him tense up against me, and just for a brief moment, I panicked, thinking maybe I had messed up after all. But then he relaxed, pulling back just a little so he could look at me, and his stunned but happy expression told me I had nothing to worry about. He leaned in to give me a soft peck on the lips before whispering huskily, "Thank God, because I think I've loved you since the moment I first saw you."

"Stay with me tonight," I breathed, barely recognizing my own voice. "For real, in my bed. Please?"

"Yes," he responded immediately, sounding every bit as eager and needy as me. "Yes, I'll stay. But..."

"Clothes staying on?" I asked, trying not so sound disappointed. I wanted him to feel comfortable, but I also wanted to feel... well, _him_.

He chuckled softly. "Actually, I was going to say that, right now, I'll go get you that snack you asked for. Then we can discuss sleeping arrangements." I felt like my smile would split my face in two. Edward raised a brow, not bothering to hide his amusement at my reaction. "So, any preferences? What would you like?"

I waved my hand impatiently. "I don't care. Just hurry back."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**Bella**

"I could get used to this," I smiled, popping another grape into my mouth. I was supposed to work the afternoon shift at Starbucks, but after the bathroom incident, Edward had insisted I'd call in sick, and I had agreed without protests. Since it was Wednesday, which was his day off, there was nothing keeping him from spending the rest of the day - and night - with me.

However, the way he kept glancing at me when he thought I wouldn't notice told me that he was still a bit spooked. I couldn't really blame him. But he had been absolutely amazing about the whole thing - even though he was obviously very worried about me, he wouldn't smother me with his concern, or treat me like I might shatter.

Nor would he try to force me to sit down and eat under his guard, although I wouldn't be surprised if the thought _had_ first crossed his mind. Instead he had just disappeared into the kitchen and returned a few minutes later with a tray loaded with various snacks for me to choose from - different kinds of fruit, crackers, yoghurt, a sandwich and some other things that would be easy on my stomach.

Without a word, he had just put it all down on the coffee table in front of me and slumped down next to me on the couch, picking up the remote and turning the TV on. Then he had casually slipped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close, letting out a content sigh as he nuzzled my hair. And I had happily melted into his embrace.

I made an effort to eat slowly but with determination - not just scarfing it down to get it over with, and I had to admit it tasted better this way. Sometimes it was easy to forget that it was in fact possible to enjoy food. Knowing that Edward cared about my health and well being also helped - it wasn't just about me anymore. My control issues were hurting him in the process, and that was just not acceptable.

Now he looked up, offering me an almost shy smile in return. "If by 'this' you mean me serving you food on a regular basis, I'm afraid you'll end up disappointed. Cutting up fruit and making sandwiches is pretty much all I'm capable of in the kitchen. I can't cook to save my life."

I gave him a look of confusion. "I don't understand. If you can't cook, then what do you eat?" He suddenly looked uncomfortable, and I hurried to add, "I'm sorry, I just meant... Well, I just can't picturing you eating out all the time."

"I don't." He grimaced, and I could tell he was embarrassed. "I've got about fifteen different take-out menus back at my place. Let's just say I never eat the same thing two days in a row." Misreading my expression, he looked away in shame. "I know, I know, most of what I eat wouldn't exactly be considered healthy, and I shouldn't-"

I cut him off, "Actually, I was thinking that has to be pretty expensive in the long run."

He shrugged, not meeting my eyes. "Money's not really an issue for me." I waited for him to elaborate. It took a moment, but finally he raised his head to look at me. "Alice and I both inherited some money when our father died, and we got some help setting up trust funds and investing them wisely."

"Oh." I nodded in understanding, thinking that might explain how Alice and Jasper were able to afford their own house - mortgage free - at the age of twenty-two. And come to think of it, Edward had a lot of nice things as well - the grand piano, a huge flat screen and his shiny Volvo, just to mention a few. "Huh." I shrugged it off. "I guess that makes sense, since neither of you were of legal age at the time."

He let out a snort, looking slightly amused. "You know, most people's first reaction would be to ask me how much I'm worth."

I waved my hand in dismissal. "I'm not most people. You should know that by now."

"True. And I do know that." He cocked his head to the side, watching me intently. "I was merely stating a fact. That's what people in general would do."

"Maybe." I figured he was probably right. At least about people wondering. But asking him straight out how much money he had? That seemed completely rude and inappropriate. But then again, I had learned over the last couple of weeks that people could be both ignorant and stupid, not to mention downright mean. So I shouldn't be too surprised.

A thought hit me. "Did _she_... Vicky... know about this? You having money, I mean?"

"Of course she did." He was quiet for a moment. "This is going to sound totally fucked up, but sometimes I wish she had just been after my money. Ar least that would've made sense, I mean, it could happen to anyone. But a fucking bet... That's just humiliating."

"And using someone for money isn't?" I shook my head. "I guess I can sort of see your point. But either way, it's just as bad. I swear, Edward, if I ever run into that bitch..." I clenched my fist, unable to keep the fury from welling up inside me at the thought of someone hurting him so badly.

He managed a small smile. "You'd defend my honor?" I just looked at him, willing him to see that I would always stand up for him, no matter what. Something in his eyes changed, and I knew I had gotten my point across to him. He let out a dark chuckle. "I know how you feel. Do you have any idea how hard it was to keep myself from telling your mother what I really thought of her?"

I blinked in surprise, but quickly recovered. "So why didn't you? Don't get me wrong, I'm so proud of you for the way you handled things, but I just don't understand how you could stay polite and civilized with her after she was so rude to you."

"I told you, I'd been expecting worse." Edward picked up my hand, tracing his fingers over my knuckles. "I don't care what she thinks of me. But the way she was talking to you... I mean, God, Bella, she's your mom. You're her only child. I don't understand how she can disrespect you like that."

I shrugged, looking down at our hands. "That's just Renee, being her usual charming self. She's always been like that, thinking the world revolves around her and that it doesn't matter who she steps on to get her way." Closing my eyes for a second, I struggled to push the unwelcome memories away. "Enough about her. Tell me about _your_ mom? Esme, right?"

"Yeah." He brought my hand up to his lips and pressed a tender kiss to my palm. "Tell you what. If you want, I'll take you to meet her tomorrow."

I instantly perked up at that. "Really? Sure, I'd like that. Unless... I mean..." I bit my lip, not sure how to go on without offending him, or his mother.

But to my relief, he seemed to read my mind. "Don't worry. She won't be like Alice." I gave him a sheepish smile. He got a thoughtful look on his face as he went on, "Although physically speaking, I suppose the two of them are pretty similar - they're both small and slender. No matter how much they eat, they never seem to gain a single pound."

I could tell he was struggling not to sound resentful. It sounded like Alice had inherited their mother's genes and Edward the ones of their father's. I smiled reassuringly at him. "What was your dad's name?"

"Edward, like me. But everybody called him Ed." His eyes turned sad, and I knew it was time to change the subject.

"Okay, I've got an idea." I clapped my hands together, trying to sound excited. "Invite your mom over for dinner tomorrow night. And you've better throw out all those take-out menus. I'm going to help you cook a nice meal for her."

He stared at me like I had just grown a second head. Then he must have caught himself because he cleared his throat apologetically. "I didn't know you liked to cook."

"I don't mind," I replied truthfully. I had no problem with cooking and baking - I just didn't necessarily enjoy eating any of it. And that was just because of my issues. I had never gotten any complaints from anyone who had tasted my creations. Strange as it may sound, I actually found the idea of cooking for someone else quite appealing.

Besides, I had promised myself that I would start eating more. And Edward had hinted that he should be eating healthier. The way I saw it, teaching him how to cook would be a win-win situation.

"Well, all right, then. I'll call her in the morning. Now come here." He grinned adorably as he grabbed hold of me and pulled me into his lap. "I wanna snuggle."

"I could get used to that as well," I giggled, slipping my arms around his neck. "But maybe we should put away this mass amount of food first. What's left of it, anyway."

He rolled his eyes. "Bella, this is not food. It's simply an appetizer. I'll get you something real to eat later."

My jaw dropped and I pulled back, giving him a suspicious look. "But you just said you couldn't cook."

"I know." His cheeks turned slightly pink. "I thought I could call and order us a pizza or something. Or if you'd prefer something else...?"

"No, that's not..." I swallowed. "Edward, I'm full. I don't know if I can eat anymore tonight."

Something flashed in his eyes, but it was gone the next second and he gently stroked my cheek. "Relax, love. I'm not going to force-feed you, if that's what you're worried about." I shook my head in protest, knowing he wouldn't make me do anything against my will, but he continued softly, "If you don't want pizza, that's fine. I'll get you whatever you want. All I ask is that you try to eat _something_."

I nodded numbly. Surely I could do that. I actually liked pizza, but I absolutely dreaded the sickening feeling that always seemed to overwhelm me every time I felt like I had eaten too much. And when I reached that point, there was no way back. I just had to get rid of the food somehow. Either by going for a long run, or making myself throw up.

Unfortunately, both alternatives were unpleasant when I found myself in that condition. And the former was a lot less effective. But from now on, the latter was off limits. I wasn't going to do that anymore, no matter what. No more shoving my fingers down my throat.

God, I hoped that was a promise I would be able to keep.

"Bella?" Edward's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Whatever you're thinking, please, stop." He tilted his head, studying my face. "Whenever we end up talking about food, I can see the light disappear from your eyes. It's fucking scary. I wouldn't bring the subject up at all, but I can't help it. I hate myself for causing you distress over something like this. But I'm so afraid you'll get sick for real."

"I know, and I don't want that." I looked him straight into the eyes. "I'll have some pizza tonight, and I fully intend to eat with you and your mom tomorrow. Really. I promise, Edward, I'm trying."

He nodded in acceptance. "I believe you."

"Thank you." Now I just needed to keep reminding myself of why I had to try so hard. I had a feeling the image of Edward's haunted and frightened face as he hovered above me in the bathroom would do the trick. I never wanted to see him looking so lost and afraid again. I swallowed hard. "I love you."

The corner of his mouth twitched. "Don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that. I love you, too. You know that, right?" I nodded, instantly losing myself in his eyes. However, it didn't take long before I snapped out of it as I felt something hard poking me in the stomach, and I was immediately reminded of the fact that I was still straddling Edward's lap.

I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from smiling as I felt him tense up a little and I could tell from the look on his face that he was embarrassed. "I'm sorry, I..." he started awkwardly, but I interrupted him by attacking his lips with mine. It must have been the right thing to do, because it only took a few seconds before I felt him relax against me and hungrily respond to the kiss.

Encouraged by his reaction, I became bolder, grinding myself against Edward's body and gently digging my fingers into his hair. He let out a soft gasp and tightened his grip on me, as if he feared I might disappear. It hit me in that moment that he never told me whether or not he and Vicky had actually gone all the way, but I couldn't bring myself to ask, especially not now.

Talk about ruining the moment. I mentally rolled my eyes. To tell the truth, I wasn't even sure I wanted to know. Deep down, I knew I shouldn't be jealous, but the thought of another woman touching my Edward in any way was almost more than I could handle.

I was pleasantly surprised when one of Edward's hands suddenly found its way under my top, only to remain hovering in the air just above my skin, as if he was afraid to touch me so intimately, yet not quite able to hold back, almost like he was acting on pure instinct. Then his sudden boldness seemed to catch up on him as he froze in his tracks, and I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do.

"Tell me to stop," he whispered, and I could feel him trembling slightly with anticipation - he didn't want to, but he was hesitant to move forward without my permission.

As if I could deny him anything, especially something I was inwardly screaming for myself. "I don't want you to stop," I breathed into his ear, rubbing my cheek against his. "Edward, please..."

His fingers brushed against my bare skin as a silent response to my plea, tentatively at first, but soon becoming braver, his hand moving gently but firmly over my back. I shifted a little on his lap, which caused him to groan out loud, "Fuck, Bella..." sounding almost as if he was in pain, and I blushed furiously when it became clear to me just what my innocent movement did to him.

"Sorry." I started to scramble off him, only to nearly fall off the couch, but thankfully Edward grabbed me at the last second, preventing me from ending up on the floor. I bit my lip, quickly making a decision. "You know, we might be more comfortable in the bedroom. There's more room..." my voice trailed off and I lowered my eyes, suddenly worried about his reaction. After all, we had agreed to go slow.

"Oh, Bella..." He sounded both amused and exasperated at the same time. "You're acting like you're afraid I'd turn you down. Trust me - it won't happen. Just tell me what you want."

Relieved by his words, I raised my head, boldly meeting his eyes. "I want _you_."

He smiled sweetly. "I'm yours, love. Just lead the way." His eyes never left mine as I slowly got up, holding out my hand. Wordlessly accepting it, he followed me into the bedroom. The room was dark and I automatically reached for the light switch, but Edward stopped me by gently pulling my hand away.

I gave him a questioning look. "Edward...?"

"Just leave it off," he whispered almost pleadingly, leaning in to kiss my neck, and I instinctively tilted my head to the side to give him better access. It took a moment before I realized he had successfully distracted me. Funny how I couldn't find it in me to care.

I was pretty sure the reason he didn't want me to turn the light on was because the thought of me seeing him - all of him - without his clothes on still made him a bit uneasy, and while I desperately wanted to show him that he had nothing to worry about, I decided to just let him have his way this time. Anything to make him more comfortable.

Since it was still early in the afternoon, the room wasn't pitch black, and I had no problem leading us to the bed without tripping over something. I pulled back the covers and kicked my shoes off, watching Edward do the same as I fell back against the pillows as gracefully as I could, all the while keeping my eyes locked on his face.

He carefully slid down beside me, reaching out to tenderly tuck some of my hair behind my ear, and I noticed his hand was trembling. "Relax," I murmured soothingly, running my fingers gently down his arm. "You don't have to be nervous. There's no rush. We'll go as slowly as you need."

A dark chuckle escaped him. "Thanks, love, but any slower and I fear I might combust. I want you, right now. And it's scaring the hell out of me."

"Don't be afraid." I stroked his cheek and kissed him softly before adding, "I told you - I want you, too." He responded by eagerly catching my lips with his, his hand slipping under my hair and around my neck, pulling me closer as the kiss became deeper and more intense, almost to the point of desperate.

Then he pulled back a little, just so he could look at me. "Are you sure? Because if we go any further, I don't think I'll be able to stop. I mean, fuck, we're in your bed, and-" I cut him off by pressing my lips against his again, showing him without words that I knew exactly what I was doing and that there was no way in hell I would change my mind now. "Point taken," he gasped with a grin. "I won't ask again."

"Good." I slipped my arms around his neck. "Edward, I want this. You can touch me, any way you want." His eyes seemed to cloud over for a moment, and without a word, he helped me slip my top over my head. I pulled up the thick duvet to cover us before gently tugging at the edge of his shirt, relieved when he complied at once, removing the shirt without hesitation and letting it drop to the floor.

"I love you," he mumbled as he hugged me close and buried his face in my hair, as if he needed a moment to compose himself. I could feel him breathe hard against me, in and out.

I stroked the hair at the back of his neck, enjoying the softness under my fingers. "I love you, too," I assured him, inhaling sharply as his hands slowly started exploring my upper body. It felt so good, and I loved the sensation of his smooth skin against mine with no barriers between us. For a couple of minutes, we were just lying there, cuddling and caressing each other.

Then Edward's hand suddenly started wandering lower, only to stop when he reached the button of my jeans. "Can I?" he whispered, sounding both nervous and hopeful. I eagerly hummed in the affirmative, wriggling a little to make it easier for him to pull them down my legs. A moment later, my pants were lying somewhere across the room, along with his shirt.

"I want to try something," he told me quietly, and I found myself holding my breath as his hand moved downward, slowly but with purpose, until he reached the spot between my legs that he had obviously been aiming for. I gulped as I felt the wetness soak through the fabric of my underwear, but was too far gone to be embarrassed.

"Take them off," I all but begged, almost sobbing with relief as he obediently released me from the last offending piece of clothing. His questioning eyes met mine for a second, and I must have either nodded or he could simply see the plea written on my face, because his hand boldly slid back down between my legs right away.

I was unable to hold back a moan as he gently started rubbing my clit, hesitating only for a brief moment before letting one of his long fingers slip inside me, pumping up and down. "Oh, God," I whimpered, grasping at his shoulders and squeezing my eyes shut, gasping loudly as wave after wave of pure pleasure washed over me.

He didn't stop until I was a panting mess, incapable of doing anything but gaze up at him with love and admiration. That was when he leaned in to kiss me, only to pull back the next second, his eyes practically burning with desire. "Please, Bella... I need to be inside you."

I could only nod, tugging weakly at his jeans. He all but pushed my hand away in his eager to get them off, and I wouldn't have been surprised to see buttons fly across the room. My mind barely got the chance to register that he was wearing black boxers underneath his pants - before I knew it, they were gone as well.

"How do you want to do this?" he asked, his voice rough and husky. "I'm afraid I'll crush you if I get on top of you."

I shook my head and rolled over on my back, impatiently pulling him along. "You won't. I'll be fine."

He nodded in acceptance, but then froze in his tracks. "Fuck! Bella, I don't have any-"

"I'm on the pill," I interrupted as I realized what had him in a frenzy all of a sudden. "And I'm clean," I added, risking a questioning look at him after a moment's hesitation.

"So am I," he assured me, causing me to smile in relief. I could tell he needed no further encouragement as he leaned in to kiss me again, and I wrapped my arms around his neck. "You have to tell me if I'm too heavy," he insisted, and I nodded in agreement, mostly to appease him. I wasn't all that worried about it.

He slid inside me with ease, most likely because I was dripping wet, and I moaned loudly as he started moving, slowly and carefully at first but then faster, gasping out my name. I pushed my hips up and down, mimicking his movements, and pressed my body even closer to him, reveling in the amazing feeling of his burning hot skin against mine and the even sweeter sensation of him moving inside me.

Never in my wildest fantasies had I imagined having sex with someone could feel this good. Before I met Edward, I had thought of it almost like a chore, for the guy's pleasure only, and the only thing I had ever gotten out of it was sweat and pain. This went beyond everything I had dreamed about, and it was all because of him.

"I won't last long," he warned, and I wanted to tell him that it was okay, but my mouth suddenly seemed incapable of forming the words. Instead I just kissed him and held him tighter, whispering his name over and over again as I moved with him. He responded by thrusting the full length of his rock-hard cock into me, faster and harder, in and out, until he suddenly tensed up and gasped, "God, Bella...!"

I could feel goose-bumps form on his skin as he came, chanting my name, and the next thing I knew, he collapsed on top of me with a final shudder and a groan. A tired giggle escaped me as I felt him breathe heavily against me, and I ran my hand lovingly up and down his back, feeling him calm down under my touch.

We stayed like that for a few minutes before his eyes suddenly snapped open and he started to roll off me in panic, mumbling frantically about crushing me. I grabbed his arm to keep him from moving away. "Don't," I told him softly, stroking his messy hair back from his forehead. "I'm absolutely fine, sweetie. Better than fine. I'm perfect." I smiled. "_You_ were perfect. Don't ruin the moment. You didn't hurt me."

"But..." he started, then stopped himself as he could clearly see I was telling the truth. His wide and worried eyes ran over my body one last time before he finally relaxed again. "Sorry," he mumbled.

"I love you," I responded, watching how his face broke into a grin. "That's better. Stop worrying so much."

"I'm working on it." He chuckled. "That _was_ good, wasn't it?"

My smile was now mirroring his. "Better than good. Perfect."

"Perfect," he agreed with a yawn, pulling me back into his arms and holding me tightly against his body. I let out a content sigh, happily snuggling into his embrace and thinking this was another thing I definitely wouldn't mind getting used to.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**Bella**

I tried to hold back a giggle as I watched Edward butcher the poor onion with deep concentration, only to pause about every five seconds to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt, muttering to himself. I must have made some kind of sound, because he raised his head to look suspiciously at me over his shoulder. I put on my best innocent expression. "Looking great, sweetie."

He rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to his task, but not before I caught the gleam of pride on his face. I stirred the noodles before inspecting the sauce simmering on the stove. "Okay, you can add the chopped onion and the mushrooms. Then we'll start on the salad."

Edward and I were preparing dinner for his mother, and I had to admit he was doing quite well for someone claiming he couldn't cook to save his life, listening to my instructions and doing most of the work while I mostly stood by and watched. He was eager to learn, insisting I'd let him do as much as possible, and I could tell he was enjoying it, except maybe for the part where he had to chop the onion.

We agreed not to make anything too advanced, and had after some discussion decided on a simple beef stroganoff with noodles. Casting a look at my watch, I realized Esme would arrive any minute, so I quickly gave Edward directions how to make the salad and then offered to set the table.

When everything was ready - including the food which both looked and smelled really good - Edward made me jump as he came up from behind and wrapped his arms around me. "Nervous, love?" he asked softly. I managed a smile and a shrug. He chuckled. "You don't have to be. I'm telling you - my mom will love you."

"I hope so." I was actually a lot more nervous than I was letting on. Somehow, it seemed like everyone - aside from Rosalie and Emmett - were against me and Edward as a couple, although I failed to see how it was anyone's business but our own. For a brief moment, I lost myself in my thoughts.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, snapping me out of it. My panic must have shown, because Edward cupped my cheek and looked me deeply in the eyes. "It'll be okay, I promise. Just relax."

That was easier said than done, but I took a deep breath and nodded. "I'm fine. Um, how about you go let your mom in, and I'll just wait in here...?" He shook his head with a smile, picking up my hand and pulling me with him. My heart was beating wildly in my chest, but I plastered a smile on my face as he opened the door, revealing a slender woman with long, caramel-colored hair standing on the other side.

"Hi, Mom." Edward took a step back, allowing his mother to enter. "I'm glad you could make it on such short notice."

She smiled warmly at him, reaching up to place a kiss on his cheek as she stepped past him into the apartment. "How could I not, when you told me I'd finally get to meet this special girl of yours. Wild horses couldn't keep me away." I couldn't help but blush when her eyes landed on me. "Hello. You must be Bella."

Remembering my manners, I smiled and held out my hand in greeting. "Yes, I am. It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Masen."

Her grip was firm, yet gentle as she immediately accepted my outstretched hand. "You too, dear, but please, call me Esme. My son has told me so much about you - I feel like I already know you."

Edward's ears turned slightly red and he cleared his throat, giving his mother a warning look. "Mom..."

"Oh, hush." She waved him off, turning back to me. "I'm afraid Edward gave me strict orders not to bring any baby pictures, but I do have quite a few embarrassing stories from his childhood that I'd be more than happy to share." She then winked, making it clear that she was teasing him.

I couldn't stop myself from giggling at the horrified look on Edward's face. "Oh, in that case, I can't wait to hear them!" She beamed at me.

"Okay!" Edward hurried to place himself between me and Esme. "Let's eat before the food gets cold, all right?" He then all but pushed us towards the kitchen.

It didn't take long for me to realize that Edward had been right about his mom. She was kind and sweet, and it was obvious to me how much she loved her son, but unlike Alice, she showed no sign of being overly protective or overbearing. Instead she was nothing but polite, and expressed a genuine interest in getting to know me. I felt at ease with her right away, and my nervousness was soon forgotten.

"Bella, this was absolutely delicious." Esme smiled with appreciation as both she and Edward helped themselves to a second serving. I had only put a small amount of food on my plate, discreetly moving it around with my fork so it would look like more, but at least I had been able to eat it all, and so far, I felt just fine. I wouldn't risk going for seconds, though.

"Thanks, but Edward did most of it." I had to smile at her stunned expression.

"Really? Well, that's just-" she was cut off mid sentence as her cellphone rang. Looking briefly at the display, a sigh escaped her. "Excuse me for a moment. I'll be right back." She got up and left the room.

I smiled widely at Edward. "This is going pretty well, isn't it? I don't know why I was so worried. I really like your mom."

He returned the smile, but I noticed it seemed a bit strained. "Told you so," he replied absently. I frowned, wondering why he appeared to be so distrait all of a sudden. As he cast a troubled look at the door where Esme had just disappeared, I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something was definitely bothering him.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I asked quietly, trying not to sound too worried.

"Nothing." His response came too quickly. Clearly seeing the doubt on my face, he closed his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry, love. I could be wrong, but..." He stopped abruptly as his mom chose that moment to return. Their eyes met, and I watched how Edward raised a brow in question. When she nodded, looking somewhat apologetic, he let out a loud groan. "Fuck!"

"Edward! Watch your language." She gave him a look of disapproval.

"Tell me she's not on her way over here." He totally ignored her reprimand.

Esme's eyes went from Edward to me, and then back to him again, guilt evident on her face. "I did warn her that tonight might not be a good time, but..." her voice trailed off as he huffed in annoyance. She sighed. "I'm sorry, honey, I guess I could have been more convincing. But you know how I hate getting caught in the middle of you two. Anyway, she just wants you to talk to her."

Edward snorted. "No, she just likes to hear herself talk. She clearly doesn't give a damn about what I have to say."

For a minute or so, I had been confused, but suddenly it was more than obvious to me who they were talking about, and I couldn't blame Edward for being frustrated. "Alice," I mumbled to myself. Naturally. Who else would bring this reaction out of him?

"Of course." He turned to give me a tired look. "I don't know why I ever thought ignoring her would make her leave me alone."

"Edward, she's your sister," Esme objected pleadingly, looking more than a little uncomfortable as she glanced briefly in my direction. "I know the two of you have a bit of a disagreement, but I wish you wouldn't speak of her that way. Please, just give her a chance."

"You mean like she's given Bella a chance?" He crossed his arms over his chest, a scowl on his face. "Just drop it, Mom. We're not having this conversation."

I felt my cheeks become hot as I realized Esme was aware of how Alice felt about me. Thankfully she seemed determined to make her own opinion. "Edward..." I hesitated, not wanting to upset him. "You said the other day you were going to talk to Alice. Maybe her coming here isn't a bad thing." A part of me couldn't believe I had just said that. But another part meant it. They should just get it over with.

Edward stared at me in disbelief, but before he could say anything, Esme spoke up carefully, "Edward, I agree with Bella. Maybe I'm being selfish, but you and your sister mean everything to me. You're all I have left in this world, and I can't stand the thought of you two fighting. You need to listen to each other and try to work this out."

"Maybe. But why does it have to be tonight?" I watched Edward grip the edge of the table in an attempt to keep his temper in check. "I just wanted you to meet Bella, without all the drama that comes along with Alice. This is so damn typical of her. She wouldn't dare coming here if it wasn't for you."

"Edward, it's okay." I tried to push my uneasiness aside when he just shook his head in defeat, not bothering to respond. An awkward silence filled the room, and I couldn't help but think that Alice had once again managed to ruin what had started out as a perfectly nice evening. I could definitely understand Edward's irritation.

When Esme excused herself to go to the bathroom, I took the opportunity to quickly get up and walk over to Edward, slipping down in his lap and wrapping my arms around him. "Sweetie, it'll be all right. Whatever happens, don't let Alice get to you. She wants you to hear her out? Then just humor her, and hopefully she'll back off. Besides, she owes you an apology."

"She owes both of us an apology," he corrected, dropping his head down on my shoulder with a sigh. "Although I seriously doubt you'll get one. Alice didn't use to be like this, but it's like something inside of her died after all this crap with Vicky. Now she's cold and suspicious towards practically everyone."

I nodded slowly, allowing his words to sink in. It made sense in a way, I suppose, but that didn't make Alice's behavior acceptable in my eyes, even though a part of me couldn't help but feel bad for her.

When Esme returned a few minutes later, I was still sitting on Edward's lap with my arms securely locked around his neck, and even if he hadn't hugged me closer as his mom reentered the room, as if to keep me from moving away, I still would have stayed right were I was. It was obvious that his mood had changed drastically for the worse, and I wanted to bring him as much comfort as I could.

We were just making small talk, thankfully falling back into a somewhat comfortable conversation, when the sound of Edward's cellphone caused us all to jump. At first I thought he was simply going to ignore the call, but after frowning at the phone for a moment, he finally brought it to his ear. "What do you want?" he asked in a tired voice.

I found myself holding my breath, knowing the person on the other end had to be Alice. Turning to Esme, I quickly mumbled an "Excuse me," and jumped up, starting to clear the table and busying myself with putting the dirty dishes in the dishwasher. She got up as well, offering to help, but I assured her it wasn't necessary.

Instead I suggested she'd go make herself comfortable in the other room and that I'd join her in a moment, to which she agreed with a nod after casting a brief look of concern in Edward's direction. As soon as she was gone, I halfheartedly continued cleaning up the kitchen while trying to pretend I wasn't really just staying so I could listen to Edward's part of the conversation.

"No, Alice, you may not come up. I don't care if you're already outside." I watched Edward pinch the bridge of his nose. "Because Bella is here and she deserves better than having to put up with your crap. If you have something to say, you can do it over the phone." He listened for a moment and then let out a sound of frustration. "Well, that's not my problem." Another pause. "Fine. Then I'm coming down."

He hung up without another word, sighing loudly as he shoved the phone down in his pocket and turned to me with an apologetic look. "Bella, I'm really sorry. Will you be okay here with my mom while I go get rid of Alice? I promise I won't be gone long. Ten minutes at the most."

"Of course I'll be okay." I gave him a reassuring smile. "Edward, I meant it when I said I think you should hear her out. Just take as much time as you need. Your mom and I will be perfectly fine keeping each other company until you get back. Just..." I hesitated a little. "Don't let Alice upset or provoke you. Just listen to her, and stand up to her if you have to. You can do it. I believe in you."

"I know you do, and I love you for that." He was quiet for a moment. "Look, Bella, I _want_ to believe that Alice will come around, but if she doesn't - if it ever comes down to you or her - I will pick you without a second's doubt. I want you to know that. You are the most important person in my life now. If she can't accept that, well, then she will just have to live with the consequences."

His words made me both relieved and sad at the same time. Relieved because I felt the same way about him, and sad because he shouldn't have to choose between his girlfriend and his sister. The ironic part was that I would do the same in a heartbeat - choose Edward over my mother any day - and I wouldn't even feel bad about it. But that was me. I wanted more for Edward.

"No matter what, you and I will be okay," I promised him, willing him to see the sincerity in my eyes as I no longer held any doubt in my heart. I was suddenly more positive than I had been in a long time. We belonged together, simple as that. And I wasn't about to let anyone - least of all Alice - come between us and destroy what we had.

After Edward had left - and he did so most reluctantly - I started the dishwasher and then went to find Esme. She smiled as I sat down next to her, but it didn't quite reach her eyes. "Is everything okay?" she asked softly, a hint of worry in her voice.

I nodded. "Yeah. That was Alice on the phone - apparently she's just outside. Edward went down to talk to her."

"I see." Esme hesitated for a moment. "Bella, I feel like I should apologize. It wasn't my intention to cause any trouble."

"You didn't," I hurried to assure her. "Look, Esme, I don't know how much you've heard, but I assume you already know that Alice and I sort of started off on the wrong foot. Now she's convinced that I'm bad for Edward, but I need you to understand that I would never do anything to deliberately hurt him."

"Oh, I believe you, dear." Esme reached out to pat my arm in a calming gesture. "I can see it in your eyes whenever you look at him. I'm not worried about that. It's obvious how much you care about him. And let me tell you - your feelings are mutual. My son thinks the world of you. He's become a different man since you entered his life. I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before."

Her words made me feel warm inside and I was unable to keep the smile from spreading on my face. "Really?"

"Really," she confirmed with a nod. "I'll be honest with you, Bella. Edward hasn't had the easiest life so far, and it's been downright painful to watch him struggle so hard over the years. I know he doesn't want me to worry about him, but I can't help it. I only want the best for both my children. And after what happened with Ed..." She stopped herself. "I'm sorry, it's not fair of me to unload all this on you."

"No, it's okay." I worried my bottom lip between my teeth. "You know, Edward's been quite open about his past. I know it's been hard for him, and I'm so glad he feels comfortable enough letting me in."

She nodded in understanding. "Well, you're good for him, no question about it. I take it he has told you about his father?"

"Well, yeah, sort of. I mean..." I hesitated, suddenly feeling conflicted. In a way, it felt wrong to be discussing Edward with his mother when he wasn't around, no matter how good the intentions may be. After all, Esme and I had just met for the first time - we were practically strangers. But somehow, talking to her just seemed so natural, like we had known each other for years instead of just a few hours.

It suddenly hit me that I already felt more comfortable with Edward's mom than my own. I just wasn't sure if that said more about Esme's personality or Renee's. The two of them seemed to be the exact opposite of each other - where Renee was thoughtless and self-centered, Esme was considerate and caring. I found myself wondering what my life would've been like, had my mom been more like Edward's.

Esme seemed to take pity on me as she continued, clearly sensing my uneasiness. "I lost my husband nine years ago - Ed was only thirty-eight when his heart gave out. I watched my daughter mourn her father along with me, but Edward refused to acknowledge his grief, instead just taking the pain and locking it all up inside. I never once saw him cry over his loss. For so long, he seemed completely callous."

I shook my head, unable to picture my Edward as cold and uncaring. "He's not like that now. Not at all."

"I know." Esme gave me a sad smile. "As he grew older, his bitterness seemed to fade and we became closer. Today, the bond between me and my son is stronger than ever. For that I'm grateful, but not a day goes by without me worrying that I might lose him too." She lowered her eyes, as if in shame. "After all, Edward is his father's son."

For a moment, I just looked at her blankly, not quite understanding. But then it hit me with full force. Edward's dad had been struggling with overweight as well, and in the end, that was most likely what caused his heart to stop. But he was so young, not even forty. Horror slammed into me as I realized what Esme was saying. Some day, the same thing could happen to Edward.

I suddenly felt sick to my stomach, and this time, I knew it had nothing to do with the food I'd been eating.

She must have seen the fear in my eyes, because she hurriedly put her hand on top of mine, guilt once again flashing across her face. "Oh, dear... I didn't mean to frighten you, Bella. I'm so sorry - I'm sure this was not the way you had imagined this night would turn out. It's all my fault. I should've told Alice to just leave it be, that way you wouldn't be stuck here with me."

"No." I instantly felt bad for her. "Really, there's no need for you to apologize. I'm glad we got the chance to get to know each other, even though the circumstances could've been better." Before I could say anything more, my phone buzzed, indicating I had received a new text message. I hesitated, not wanting to be rude, but Esme obviously saw right through me and gestured for me to go ahead and read it.

I offered her a grateful smile and quickly flicked my phone open. The text was from Edward, saying he was going to drive Alice home since it had started to rain, and that he'd be right back. I briefly wondered how she had gotten here in the first place, but then I figured she had either taken a cab or someone had given her a ride, not that it really mattered.

My fingers itched to give Edward a call, but I decided against it as I was positive he'd fill me in once he returned. As for now, I might as well take the opportunity to socialize a bit more with Esme.

Speaking of, she gave me a knowing look as I put the phone away. "Edward?"

I nodded with a small smile. "He said he'll be back soon. He's taking Alice home."

"I could've done that," Esme sighed. "Oh, well, I guess that gives us some more time to talk - I won't complain about that."

"Me neither," I told her sincerely. "Um, I could make us some coffee if you like." Then I let out a sheepish giggle. "That is if I can figure out Edward's fancy coffee maker. I swear, that thing is more advanced than the ones we have at work."

She laughed. "That's okay. Maybe later, though."

"Sure." Looking out the window, I realized it was now pouring down outside. Eager to lighten the mood, I cleared my throat and grinned. "So, you said something before about embarrassing stories? Here's your chance!"

Time seemed to pass quickly as Esme and I kept talking and laughing. I had almost managed to push all thoughts of Alice to the back of my mind and was actually enjoying myself, even though I kept throwing what I hoped to be discreet glances at my watch as I waited for Edward to walk through the door. It didn't matter that he had only been gone for about half an hour - I still missed him.

It was a while later when my phone rang, and I was both relieved and happy when I realized it was Edward calling. "Hi," I responded eagerly, unable to keep the smile off my face. "You okay?"

"Depends on how you define 'okay'." He sounded more than a little annoyed, causing my smile to fade. "Anyway, I'm on my way home. I just needed to hear your voice." His dejected tone told me things had not gone very well, and I immediately felt a wave of anger well up inside me as I wondered what the hell Alice had said to him this time.

"What happened?" I asked softly. When he just groaned in response, I glanced briefly at Esme before getting up and heading for the kitchen so I could speak more privately. "You don't have to get into any details. Just tell me. Was it bad?"

"Bad?" He snorted. "That would be the understatement of the year. At first I actually thought she wanted to make amends, but..." A pause. "Bella, I've had it. I'm done with her. I'm so fucking sick of this. My sister can go to hell for all I care." There was a coldness in his voice that I hadn't heard before and it chilled me to the bone.

It also reminded me of Esme's words when she had told me about Edward's reaction to his father's death. I swallowed. "Okay, Edward, I realize you're upset, but surely you don't mean that. If you just take a moment to calm down, I'm sure-"

He cut me off abruptly, his voice laced with fury, "Don't fucking tell me to calm down! I know what I'm saying and I mean every word. From now on, Alice is dead to me." There was a crashing sound of thunder in the distance, but it didn't startle me half as much as the venom behind Edward's words.

What in the world happened while he was giving Alice a ride home? What could she possibly have said or done to make him so mad at her?

"Edward..." I began hesitantly, but he interrupted me again.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to take it out on you." Now he just sounded defeated, sad. "I'll tell you everything when I get back. Then maybe you can understand why..." I heard him gasp, followed by a panic-stricken "Fucking hell!"

I could hear the most horrifying sound of screeching tires, and then the line went completely dead. For a few seconds, I just stood there, frozen on the spot and squeezing my phone so hard I half expected it to shatter in my hand. My heart was beating so fast, I feared it might burst right out of my chest. "Edward!" I cried.

The silence on the other end was deafening. I felt the panic rising as I called out his name a few more times before finally snapping out of it and breaking the connection. Then I quickly tried calling Edward up again, my fingers trembling so badly I almost dropped the phone several times. My call went straight to voice-mail.

Esme burst into the room at the same moment my legs gave out and I dropped to the floor.

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><p><strong>End Notes: Some of you have asked if this story will ever be EPOV. The answer is yes, and soon. Now, if you all try to refrain from hurling hard objects at me after leaving you with this evil cliffie, I promise to do my best to give you one more chapter before Christmas... :P<strong>


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: I would like to wish all my readers a happy Christmas! And thank you all so much for your continued support. I wish I had the time to respond to each and every one of your lovely reviews, but I promise I read and appreciate them all. Your kind words mean the world to me, and makes me want to keep writing and posting so much faster. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 14<strong>

**Edward**

I hadn't been all that nervous about Bella meeting my mom - I was convinced they would get along just fine. And just like I had expected, the two of them hit it off right away. My mother had a way of seeing people for who they really were, which was why I knew Bella had nothing to worry about.

My sister was a different matter, though. She kept calling and leaving messages on my voice-mail, begging me to talk to her, but so far I had just ignored her. Maybe I was being childish, but I was sick and tired of her attitude. And this time she had gone too far. She had disrespected both me and Bella at the dinner party, and not once had she even attempted to apologize.

It was all about Alice and her needs. _She_ wanted me to talk to her. She asked me to listen to what _she_ had to say. And she needed me to see things _her_ way. But she wasn't sorry. If she was, she would have said so by now. And that's why I had no interest in seeing her any time soon.

I just couldn't understand what the hell she had against Bella. Okay, so I figured I couldn't blame Alice for being a little suspicious at first, but after all this time, she _had_ to see that Bella was nothing like Vicky. I knew all about her quasi heart-to-heart with my girl before we even started dating, and at the time, it had seemed like she was willing to back off and give Bella a chance.

So what had changed? It made absolutely no sense to me.

Alice and I used to be pretty close growing up, and I had to admit I missed the way we were always there for each other. But somewhere along the way, her protective nature just seemed to have gotten out of hand, and now she refused to even acknowledge the possibility that I was capable of making my own decisions, that I knew what was best for me.

The more I thought about it, the more offended and angry I became.

A part of me was still struggling to come to terms with the fact that this was all real - that Bella was really my girlfriend and not just some figment of my imagination that my mind had conjured up, because things like this didn't normally happen to me. Women didn't fall for guys like me. They wanted men who were attractive, in shape. Instead they were grossed out by my appearance.

And I couldn't even blame them.

Bella was different, though. She actually saw _me_, the real me and not just the fat guy on the outside. But what stunned me even more was that she - for some reason beyond my comprehension - seemed to like that guy, too. She didn't find me revolting, and she obviously wasn't disgusted by my size.

I wished I could just forget the time with Vicky, but that was sadly not the way my mind worked. Now when I thought back, I couldn't believe I had been so stupid, so gullible. I should've seen the signs, but to be perfectly honest, I didn't _want_ to see them. For a little while, I was happily living under the delusion that someone finally wanted me, and it felt fucking good.

Of course, it wasn't nearly as pleasant when reality eventually came crashing down on me. I cringed as the unwelcome memories washed over me like a tidal wave, threatening to drag me under.

_Vicky and James, naked in bed together. He was kissing hungrily down her neck, holding her long, red hair away, but his eyes were locked on me. To him, this was all a game, and the shame of being caught as I had just walked in on them didn't exist to him. If anything, it was the opposite - he wanted me to see this._

_"Did you really think I enjoyed being with you?" Vicky asked with sneer._

_"She's a hot piece of ass, Masen," James drawled. "And you're just a fat, disgusting pig."_

_She let out a vicious laugh. "It wasn't real, Edward. Touching you made me sick."_

_"You were an idiot to believe she could ever want someone like you. I bet her that she wouldn't fuck you. But my girl hates to lose."_

_Vicky snorted. "I hated every minute of it, except maybe for the part where I let you suck my pussy. At least I got something out of it."_

_"I'll suck your pussy right now, babe. How about we let Masen stay and watch? Just to show him how a real man does the job."_

_They were laughing, mocking me with their words and actions. I wanted to punch him, punch her, punch both of them. I wanted to yell at them, tell them to go fuck themselves - which I figured would be pretty ironic, considering what they were doing. Suddenly I felt nauseous._

_I turned around and walked away without a word._

I snapped out of it as Bella placed her hand soothingly on my leg, as if instinctively knowing I needed the comfort her gentle touch would bring me. She never ceased to amaze me. I gave her a grateful smile and forced myself to remain in the present, focusing on my food and paying closer attention to what she and my mom were talking about.

For a while it seemed to be working, Bella's calming presence keeping me anchored and I was able to let go of the past and just enjoy the moment. It was nice to see my mother and girlfriend bonding - for once, things were actually running smoothly, without complications.

And then Mom's phone rang.

I couldn't explain it, but I just knew things were about to take a turn for the worse. When I had called my mom this morning to invite her over, she mentioned that she had spoken to Alice a few times over the last couple of days and that she seemed very eager to talk to me. I had brushed it off at the time, but now I got a sinking feeling in my stomach.

If that was Alice calling and Mom let it slip that she was here at my place, I wouldn't put it past my sister to come over, simply because she wouldn't expect me to throw her out as long as our mother was here. I tensed up at the thought, knowing this was not the time or place for a confrontation. Maybe Bella was right when she said Alice and I needed to clear the air, but I really wasn't in the mood tonight.

I could only hope I was wrong, although I seriously doubted it. And when my mother returned a few minutes later, looking all guilty and apologetic, it pretty much confirmed my suspicions. It was obvious that she felt a bit bad about the way things had turned out, but that didn't stop her from insisting I'd give Alice a chance.

Bella was being understanding and supportive as usual, which only made me feel worse about the whole thing. She shouldn't have to deal with our mess. It wasn't fair to her and she sure as hell deserved better. But she didn't complain once, instead doing her best to assure me everything would be just fine. I wasn't totally convinced, but wisely kept my doubts to myself.

I told Bella I wouldn't be gone long, and I fully intended to keep that promise. Alice would get ten minutes to speak her mind, and if she wasn't finished when the time was up, well, too bad for her.

She was waiting for me just outside the apartment building. As soon as she spotted me, she offered me a small smile and a wave. I just nodded coldly in greeting. "Alice."

Her face fell a little at my obvious lack of enthusiasm. "Hi, Edward. How are you?"

"I _was_ doing just fine, thank you." I knew I was being short with her - and probably immature - but I honestly couldn't find it in me to care. "So, you wanted to talk? Then talk. I don't have all night."

"Oh, come on, don't be like that." There was a hint of frustration in her voice. "I hate the way things have become between us. We used to be so close, Edward. And now look at us." Her bottom lip jutted out in a small pout. "I miss my big brother. You know, the guy who always had my back."

"Is that right?" I held back a sigh, refusing to fall for her obvious attempt to play on my guilt as I went on, "Well, I miss my little sister who was always on my side and would never dream about hurting me. I'll let you know if I find her."

"That's not fair." For a moment, Alice looked like she was about to cry. "I never meant to hurt you, and if I did, I'm truly sorry. But honestly, Edward, you have to know I was only trying to look out for you. This... _thing_ you have going on with Bella-"

"All right, just stop it right there," I cut her off abruptly. "Alice, I will only say this once. Bella is my girlfriend. I love her, and by some miracle, she loves me back. I won't let you belittle our relationship, and you will not disrespect her again. Whatever your problem with Bella is, you will just have to get over it. She hasn't done anything to you."

She waved her hand impatiently. "You don't get it. This is not about me - it's about what she might do to you. I know you think Bella's nothing like Vicky, but how can you be so sure? How can you know she's not just waiting to stab you in the back as well?"

I gave her an exasperated look. "Where the hell is all this coming from? You talked to Bella yourself a while ago. You seemed okay with us being together after that - you even invited her for dinner so you could get to know her better. But then you just went and did a one-eighty - all of a sudden you just 'knew' she was wrong for me. You've better explain this to me, because it's not making any sense at all."

For a couple of seconds, she just looked at me. Then she lowered her eyes. "Yes, I did talk to Bella, and I have to admit she seemed sincere at the time. That's why I invited her to the dinner party in the first place, plus I knew you really liked her. I was serious about getting to know her, because I could tell it was important to you."

I folded my arms across my chest. "So, what changed? Why did you suddenly decide to start plotting with Rose to break us up? That was fucking low, Alice, and you know it."

"Maybe." Alice was quiet for a moment. "Just for the record, Rose didn't agree with me. Still doesn't, I suppose. She thinks Bella and you are good for each other." I nodded, because I had already gotten that much. She went on, almost pleadingly, "I tried, Edward, I really did. At first, anyway. But then I got scared."

I stared at her in bewilderment, just barely noticing that the sky had darkened and it had started to rain. "Scared of what?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She swallowed. "I could see myself starting to like her. Bella, I mean. And then I panicked. How can you trust her, Edward? How can you trust _any_ girl again after what happened with Vicky?" I opened my mouth, but she wasn't finished, "I just don't understand how you can put yourself out there again after something like that. Risk getting betrayed all over again. I can't do that. I _won't_."

"That's your problem, not mine." I felt my frustration turn into anger. "Didn't you hear a word of what I said a minute ago? I'm in love with Bella. And she feels the same way about me. That's why I know I can trust her. Bella won't hurt me, Alice. But you do. You hurt me when you try to pretend this is all about me, when you really seem to be more concerned about yourself."

Alice shook her head in protest. "That's not true! You keep twisting my words and turning them against me. I'm not pretending anything. Why can't you just try to see things from my side?"

"Because your side is fucked up!" I glared at her. "You just don't know when to quit. I mean it, Alice. You don't see me trying to tell you how you should live your life. You need to back off and mind your own business!"

Her mouth fell open. "But Edward-"

"Don't." I held up a hand to stop her. "I've had enough. And this is pointless. You say you want me to talk to you, but when I do, you just don't listen. We're not kids anymore. Unless you're ready to accept that I can - and will - make my own decisions, you might as well leave me the hell alone."

She stared at me in shock. I stubbornly held her gaze, willing her to see that I was serious. Finally she ducked her head in defeat. "All right, I give up. I'm sorry for trying to meddle in your life. I won't do it again."

I studied her face closely for a moment, not really sure what to believe. Then I decided it didn't really matter. She knew where I was standing. And more importantly, _I_ knew where I was standing. I hadn't been lying when I told Bella I would choose her over Alice if it ever came to that. My girl was my life now. And it was time for my sister to see that.

"So, we're good?" Alice asked carefully after a moment when I didn't offer any response. "You're not mad anymore?"

"That depends on you," I told her firmly. "I don't expect you and Bella to become best friends or anything, but you have to accept that she's here to stay. No more schemes. Just lay off. If you can't do that..." I left the rest of the sentence hanging. Much to my relief, she held up her hands in surrender. "All right, then. Not saying everything's forgiven, but if you're serious about this, we should be okay."

For a moment, we just stood there in silence. It seemed like Alice and I had just come to an understanding of sorts, and I figured it was a step in the right direction. While a part of me was still upset with her, I couldn't deny that it felt good to be able to move forward. And with my sister off my back, I'd be able to focus on what really mattered.

Like Bella.

The rain was starting to fall faster. Looking around, I realized I couldn't see Alice's car. I frowned, as I couldn't really picture my sister walking all the way here on foot. "Hey, Alice, how did you get here?"

"Oh, Jasper dropped me off." She raised her head to look at the sky above and wrinkled her nose. "I figured I could just catch a ride home with Mom."

I hesitated, not wanting to offend her when we were finally back on speaking terms, but I wasn't too fond of the idea of bringing Alice up to my apartment when Bella was there, and I doubted Mom would want to leave right away, especially since she and Bella seemed to be getting along so well.

After considering my options, I quickly made up my mind and nodded towards my car that was parked across the street. "That's okay. I'll take you home."

"Are you sure?" Alice looked surprised, but I knew she wouldn't turn my offer down. I just nodded in response and pulled out my car keys, eager to get back to Bella. After I had unlocked and started the car, I sent her a quick text message, explaining where I was going and assuring her I'd hurry back.

And once I got home, I wasn't planning to leave her side again for the rest of the night. I knew we both had to work the next morning, but I still intended to ask Bella to stay the night with me after my mother had left, and hopefully she would agree. The thought of holding her in my arms as we both fell asleep made me smile.

I could feel Alice's eyes on me as I was driving through the town in silence. She was probably waiting for me to say something, but I didn't really feel like starting a conversation. There was tension in the air, and I knew she could sense it as well. So much for going back to the way things used to be. To be honest, I wasn't sure we would ever get there.

In a way, the thought made me sad. I didn't like this anymore than Alice did, but I couldn't just get over it, either, even though I suspected that's what she'd been hoping for. As much as I tried telling myself that she hadn't really meant any harm, I couldn't get past the feeling of betrayal.

It was ironic, really. Alice kept reminding me of how Vicky had stabbed both of us in the back, and yet she didn't seem to see anything wrong with her own actions. I didn't doubt that she was regretful about the way things had turned out, but at the same time, her apology seemed more like an attempt to appease me than anything else.

Finally she spoke up, quietly, "I'm just curious, so don't bite my head off for asking. But what is it about Bella? I mean, what makes her so special to you? The two of you are just so... different. I guess I'm just trying to understand what you could possibly have in common."

I clenched my teeth, struggling not to snap at her, because I figured it was actually an honest question and not an attempt to be disrespectful. But still, it was hard not to take it as an insult. I glanced briefly in her direction before turning my attention back to the traffic, not even trying to keep the sarcasm out of my voice, "What are you trying to say? That I should just find some random girl who's fat like me?"

When Alice didn't respond right away, I turned to stare at her in disbelief. "You've got to be kidding me! Seriously, Alice?"

"I didn't say that!" she hurried to defend herself. "Give me some credit, will you? I'm not the one hung up on your size. That would be you."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I demanded, almost driving past Alice's house but catching myself at the last second and pulling into the driveway. Putting the car in park and turning off the engine, I shifted a little to look at her expectantly. "Well? Explain. What are you talking about?"

"I meant exactly what I said." Alice sighed. "You keep calling yourself fat and putting yourself down whenever you get defensive. Like you did just now - it's like you're trying to make me feel guilty for being realistic. Yes, you have a weight problem. We both know it. But I've never once looked down at you because of it."

I opened my mouth but she wasn't done, "I've always stood up for you, defended you against all those idiots out there with nothing better to do than dropping nasty comments and whispering behind your back. Trust me, I hate those people as much as you do, but you just stand there and take it, every time. It's like you've given up, and it makes me think you're just settling for the first girl who looks your way."

"What?" I glared at her, unable to stop the fury from welling up inside me. "Didn't I just tell you, _twice_, that I love Bella? Are you deliberately trying to piss me off, or have you just lost it?" I was fuming now. Here I was thinking Alice had finally started to come around, and now she went and dropped this huge fucking bomb on me.

It hit me then that not once had she acknowledged my words when I told her how I felt about Bella. Talk about selective hearing! I felt myself getting angrier by the second. Maybe I had settled when it came to Vicky, because God knew I had never loved her, even though I had almost convinced myself at the time. But Bella? Alice had seen us together. Hell, she had listened to me talking nonstop about her.

Or had she really? I was starting to suspect that she had never actually listened to me at all.

"No, I heard you. But..." Alice hesitated. "Just take a moment and think about it. Bella is the first girl you've fallen for in years. And suddenly you love her? Don't you think it's all happened a little fast? I mean, sure, she seems nice and sweet, but it all comes back to one simple fact. You just can't know for sure. And before you say anything - this is not me meddling. This is just me expressing my concern."

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to get my temper under control. "Are you saying I'm stupid or something? Is that it?"

"Of course not!" She awkwardly wrung her hands. "All I'm saying is that maybe - just maybe - you're being a tiny bit naive. I know they say opposites attract, but... My God, Bella's just skin and bones. No real surprise there, since she barely even eat. I just don't see how this will work out in the long run, even if her motives are honorable."

I watched her silently for a moment. When I finally spoke, my voice was dangerously low. "Did you just lie to my face a moment ago when you agreed to drop it?"

She stubbornly shook her head. "No, Edward, that's not what we agreed on. I apologized for intending to break you and Bella up, and I did promise not to do anything like that again. But I can't just let it go. You said you want me to accept that Bella's here to stay? Then you've better accept that I'll be watching her. And if it turns out I'm right about her, then I will not hesitate to say I told you so."

For a few seconds, I just stared at her. I didn't miss the desperation in her voice, and now I could see it in her eyes as well. In that moment, I felt like my sister had become a complete stranger to me.

I swallowed hard. "Get out of the car." When she didn't move, just stared back at me, I snapped. "I said, get the fuck out! I've had enough, Alice. From now on, you stay the hell out of my life!" Alice looked shocked at my outburst. At first her expression turned crestfallen, but then her face hardened. As she left the car without another word, I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

By my own sister.

Deep down, I knew Alice had always been impulsive, not always thinking before speaking her mind. Maybe I was overreacting. But I was just so fucking disappointed in her. Was it too much to ask for my sister to be there and support my decision, whether she actually agreed with me or not? Wasn't that the whole point of standing up for each other - you would do it unconditionally?

I was both hurt and angry, and I felt like an idiot for even trying in the first place. As I started the car, barely aware of what I was doing as I furiously backed out of Alice's driveway, one thought kept coming back to me. I needed Bella, and I couldn't wait until I got home. So I pulled out my phone, hitting my girl's number on speed dial as I maneuvered the car through the traffic with one hand.

The rain was pouring down outside, making it hard to see more than a few feet in front of me, and the road was getting slippery. As I waited for Bella to pick up, I couldn't help but think that the nasty weather seemed to go hand in hand with my mood. To my relief, she answered after the second ring. "Hi. You okay?"

"Depends on how you define 'okay'," I muttered, then went on explaining I was on my way home. As she asked me what happened, I realized I didn't know where to even begin. To be honest, I didn't want to talk about it yet. I had just wanted to hear her voice, positive it would make me feel better. But Bella was persistent, and before I knew it, I was telling her about my argument with Alice.

I didn't mean to lash out at Bella when she was simply trying to reason with me, but my emotions were all over the place and the harsh words were out of my mouth before I even realized I had spoken. And just like that, my anger turned into shame and regret.

"I'm sorry, Bella, I didn't mean to take it out on you," I told her remorsefully, feeling horrible for raising my voice at the one person who meant more to me than anyone else in the world. "I'll tell you everything when I get back. Then maybe you can understand why..." I stopped myself abruptly and my eyes widened in panic as I felt myself losing control of the car.

"Fucking hell!" I gasped and desperately stomped my foot down on the brake, only to find myself helplessly sliding across the road and over into the other lane.

And the last thing I saw was a large truck, coming straight towards me.

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: I'm sure you're all ready to kill me by now, but remember - if you do, you won't find out what happens! ;) I promise, the next chapter will be up before the year is over. And yes, if I were you, I'd totally hate me after this. *lol* Sorry. Just trust me. <strong>


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

**Bella**

I hated hospitals. Maybe it was because of the sweet, sickening smell, the bright light, or the white, sterile walls. Or maybe the real reason was that I knew there were people behind practically every closed door who were badly hurt or sick. Dying. Slipping away, even though there were doctors and nurses working around the clock, doing everything in their power to save them.

And right now, my Edward was behind one of those doors.

Esme kept assuring me on the way over here that everything would be okay and I wanted to believe her, but I couldn't - not until I had seen with my own eyes that he was all right. She had been amazingly calm and rational the whole time, even when she was being put on hold for almost five minutes as she was calling the hospital trying to get a hold of someone who could give her the information we needed.

At least we knew he was here - that much had been confirmed. So here I was, impatiently pacing back and forth while Esme had rushed off to speak to some doctor in charge - whose name I had heard and forgotten. As she had yet to return, there was really not much I could do but wait.

Unfortunately, I was not alone. I cast a look over my shoulder, my eyes landing on Alice and Jasper. They were sitting close together on a tiny couch, him with one arm around her shoulders and sometimes mumbling soothingly in her ear. She had been quiet so far, barely even looking in my direction, let alone addressing me. Still, a selfish part of me kind of wished Esme had forgotten to call her in the first place.

I didn't know exactly what had transpired between Edward and Alice earlier tonight, but one thing was certain; _she_ was the reason he had been so upset when he called me. As far as I was concerned, Alice was partially to blame for Edward's accident. I could feel a huge lump form in my throat and new tears welled up in my eyes. I felt like I had been crying constantly for hours.

_Please, God, let him be okay!_

As if she had sensed me staring, Alice raised her head and our eyes met. She started to get up and I realized I had stopped dead in my tracks. Jasper said something in a low voice, giving her a warning look, but she ignored him and slowly made her way over to me. I wrapped my arms protectively around myself, not because I was the least bit intimidated, but because I was afraid of what I might say to her.

It turned out I didn't have to worry about that, as she spoke up before I even got the chance, her words shaking me to the core. "This is all your fault! My brother wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. We were doing just fine before you showed up. Why couldn't you just stay away?"

"Excuse me?" I stared at her in disbelief. She just shook her head and wiped away a tear. I opened my mouth, only to close it again as I spotted Esme coming toward us, and I fought back the panic as I ran up to meet her. "How is he? Esme, please, tell me-"

She interrupted me, taking my hand and squeezing it gently, "Edward's okay, honey. The doctor said he was extremely lucky."

That was when I noticed the blond man in a white coat standing next to her. He looked to be in his late thirties, and I suppose he would be considered handsome, but his physical appearance barely registered in my mind. What did register, however, was the aura of composure and serenity surrounding him.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen." His voice was soft, calming, and his eyes were kind. "As I've been explaining to Mrs. Masen here," he nodded briefly to Esme, "Edward got away with a mild concussion, some shallow cuts and bruises, and a dislocated shoulder. He will be just fine. I'm keeping him here over night for observation, but unless there will be any complications, he should be able to go home tomorrow."

"Oh, thank God," I gasped, unable to hold back a sob of pure relief. For the first time since I had lost contact with Edward on the phone, I felt like I could actually breathe again.

Jasper quickly excused himself, saying he was going to call Rose and Emmett. When he was out of sight, Alice spoke up, "So, is Edward awake?"

Dr. Cullen smiled. "Well, more or less. He's been sedated, but it should wear off soon."

"When can we see him?" I asked, hearing the desperation in my voice, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

He started to respond, but Alice cut him off. "You're not family," she practically spat at me. "Mom and I should get to see him first."

Was she for real? I glared at her, about to remind her of why Edward had been in the car in the first place, but Esme beat me to it, "Alice, please. Don't do this now. It's hardly the time or place."

"Actually, Miss...?" The doctor gave Alice a questioning look.

"_Mrs._ Whitlock," Alice corrected, keeping her eyes locked on me. "I'm Edward's sister. _She's_ just a... friend."

I clenched my fists in fury. Her brother was in the hospital, and yet she kept insisting on holding on to her irrational bitterness towards me. Would she ever just grow the hell up? "Alice," I began menacingly, because I'd just about had enough. But before I could say anything else, the doctor spoke up.

"Mrs. Whitlock, if you and your mother go straight through that corridor and then turn left, you'll find your brother in the first room to the right. I must insist, though, that you won't stay longer than fifteen minutes." Alice quickly nodded in agreement and all but dragged Esme with her.

While I couldn't blame her for being eager to see her son, a part of me felt deeply betrayed in that moment. Esme knew how much Edward meant to me. I didn't doubt that I would get to see him, but still, it hurt that she would just walk away like that, after everything we had been through tonight.

I swallowed hard, struggling to keep my emotions under control as I turned to the doctor. "Dr. Cullen, please, can I just-"

"You must be Bella," he interrupted, politely holding out his hand for me to shake. I blinked in surprise before nodding silently in response, wondering how he could possibly know my name. Obviously seeing my confusion, he took pity on me and went on, "Here's the thing, Bella. Even though Edward will without doubt recover, his body has been through quite an ordeal tonight. He needs his rest."

Tears pricked my eyes. "Of course, I realize that, but-"

He continued as if I hadn't even spoken, "The way I see it, too many visitors at once might be overwhelming for him, and we don't want that. That's also why I asked his sister and mother not to stay very long. When I left him, he had trouble staying awake for more than a few minutes at a time, but if you just wait about ten minutes or so, he should be much more lucid."

I instantly perked up at that, realizing he wasn't trying to keep me from seeing Edward after all. Brushing away a tear, I managed a grateful nod. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me." He waved me off with a smile. "I figured I should give Edward's family a moment with him, but the way he mumbled your name as he was slipping in and out of consciousness told me _they're_ not the ones he's most eager to see. And I get the feeling he'd prefer to be fully awake when you arrive." He winked at me, and I couldn't help but give him a shaky smile. I decided I liked him.

It was such a relief to meet someone who didn't automatically seem to be against my relationship with Edward. I let out a shuddering breath. "Are you absolutely sure Edward will be okay?"

His smile faded and a hint of sympathy flashed across his face. "I'm positive. You should know, though, that I wasn't kidding when I said he was lucky. According to the paramedics, the truck must have missed him with about an inch. I don't mean to scare you, but this could've ended a lot worse. I don't necessarily believe in guardian angels, but it sure seems like someone was watching over him tonight."

I felt a shiver run down my spine when I realized just how close I had come to losing him, but I stubbornly pushed the thought to the back of my mind. Nothing good would come from dwelling on what could have happened. Right now, my focus was on Edward. He needed me to be strong. I could break down and cry later, when I was alone.

Dr. Cullen stayed with me for a couple of minutes before excusing himself, explaining that he needed to go check on another patient. After pointing out the direction to Edward's room, and assuring me he would stop by in a while, he hurried away, leaving me alone in the waiting area.

As I started heading through the long corridor, I couldn't help but wonder if Edward and I would ever get a break, or if it would always be one tiny step forward and then two huge steps back. It just wasn't fair how the problems kept coming, and I didn't know how much more I could handle without falling apart. Unfortunately, I was about to find out that it wasn't over yet.

Just as I was about to enter Edward's hospital room, I realized I could hear upset voices from the other side. The first voice belonged to Alice, "But Bella's the reason you're here! This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been in such a hurry to get back to her!"

The relief of hearing Edward respond was drastically diminished the second my mind registered the blind fury in his voice. "I was getting away from _you_!" he growled, only to start coughing violently. I pushed the door open and stepped inside, immediately noting that Esme was nowhere to be seen. Alice on the other hand was standing in the middle of the room, hands on her hips and tears trickling down her face.

"You!" I pointed an accusing finger at Alice, "Shut up or get the hell out of this room. I mean it - raise your voice in here again and I'll have Dr. Cullen physically remove you." Of course, I wasn't sure I could actually get him to do that, but in that moment, I wouldn't hesitate to literally throw Alice out on her ass myself, should he refuse to assist me.

Then my eyes fell on Edward in the hospital bed, and the fierce anger I had felt just a second ago instantly disappeared. I felt my chin quiver at the sight of him. "Edward," I whispered, my voice breaking as I started to sob. "Oh, God, I've been so scared!"

"Bella..." He inhaled shakily and started to lift his arm, as if trying to reach out for me, only to gasp in pain as his arm limply fell down on the bed. I was at his side in a second, but then froze in my tracks as I suddenly wasn't sure it would be safe to even take his hand. As much as I wanted to, I was absolutely terrified of hurting him even more.

Clearly seeing my hesitation, Edward desperately made another attempt of raising his arm - with the same result. Only this time a choked sob escaped him, which I figured was partly from pain and partly from frustration. Either way it broke my heart, and even more so when he spoke, his voice cracking, "Bella... I can't touch you."

"I'm afraid I'll hurt you," I cried, but couldn't keep myself from running my trembling fingers down his cheek. He closed his eyes, as if savoring my touch, and I wished I could just curl up on the bed with him, but there wasn't nearly enough room. I swallowed. "God, I was so worried! I thought... Are you... How are you feeling?" The words kept tumbling out and I felt like my head was spinning.

For the first time since I stepped into the room, I finally gathered enough courage to really take in Edward's appearance. The truth was I had been scared of what I would find if I looked too closely, the most horrible images playing up in my head. A tear slipped down my cheek as I studied him warily.

The left side of his face was slightly swollen and I noticed a nasty looking bruise starting to take form under his eye. On his forehead, just above his eyebrow, the skin was red and partially scraped off, but all in all, his injuries seemed mostly superficial. He obviously must have hit his head pretty hard since - according to the doctor - he suffered a concussion, but I figured it could have been much worse.

Edward grimaced in response to my question. "Feel like I've been hit by a truck."

A strange sound escaped me and I honestly couldn't say whether it was a sob or a giggle. Either way, it sounded a little too hysterical for my liking. "Well, you weren't. Thankfully it missed you." That's when I realized my entire body was shaking and I quickly sobered up. I opened my mouth to tell Edward that I loved him, but the only thing that came out was a pathetic whimper.

"Bella, I'm okay." He tried to sit up to prove it, but as he obviously couldn't get his body to obey him, he just fell back helplessly against the pillow with a groan. "Fuck! It hurts."

"Try not to move too much, then," Alice suggested nervously. For a brief moment, I had actually forgotten she was still in the room.

"Where's Esme?" I asked Edward cautiously, trying to find some space on the bed so I could sit down next to him, but had to give up as it was obviously a lost cause.

He shifted his head a little so he could look at me. "She was supposed to go get you. Didn't you run into her?" I shook my head, thinking we must have missed each other, which I had to admit seemed a bit weird. Edward grunted again, causing me to snap out of it.

I worriedly ran my eyes over his body, trying to figure out what was wrong. "What can I do?" He just shook his head and sucked in a sharp breath. I turned to Alice with determination. "Go get Dr. Cullen. If you can't find him, get someone else."

"Don't try to boss me around." She scowled at me. "You go. I'll stay here with Edward."

I gritted my teeth. "For God's sake, could you stop thinking about yourself for two seconds? Your brother is clearly in pain! Do you even care?"

"How can you ask me that?" She sounded furious now. "You're the one who's selfish, thinking you can just barge in here and give orders. You may have the rest of my family wrapped around your little finger, but not me. I can see right through you. And I'm telling you, Edward doesn't need you."

"Alice...!" Using his uninjured arm for support, Edward struggled for a moment before finally managing to push himself up in a sitting position. When he was done, he was panting hard, but it didn't stop him from glaring at his sister. "Don't you fucking dare! You don't know a damn thing about what I need, because you just don't fucking listen! I told you to leave me alone, so why the hell are you still here?"

Alice flinched at his words, as if he had struck her. "But I know you didn't really mean it. I mean, I'm your sister - we're family! Family comes first. You can't just shut me out of your life!"

I got a sinking feeling in my stomach as I watched Edward close his eyes and take a few deep breaths. Noticing that he seemed to be getting paler by the second, I placed my hand on his chest, gently trying to push him back down. "Edward, sweetie, you really should be lying down right now."

He totally ignored me. "You wanna know what I don't need, Alice? This! I fucking hurt all over because I was just in a car accident after driving _you_ home, and you have the nerve to stand there and bitch at my girlfriend? Bella asked you to get the doctor and you refuse - what the hell is wrong with you? Get out of here and find someone who can give me some fucking drugs! Now!"

Stunned by his explosion, Alice just stared at him for a moment. Then she swallowed visibly, quickly nodded and all but ran out of the room. Turning my attention back to Edward, I realized his face had now taken a sickening, grayish color. All of a sudden his eyes were dull, unfocused, and beads of sweat had started breaking out on his forehead.

"I don't feel so good..." he mumbled, swaying a little on the bed, as if he was seconds away from collapsing.

"Edward?" Without even thinking, I climbed into the bed as I managed to find some space behind him since he was now sitting up, and wrapped my arms around him. I struggled to keep the panic from taking over as I knew I wouldn't be strong enough to support his weight if he passed out. "Stay with me, baby - try to keep your eyes open and focus on my voice. I got you."

I desperately looked around, searching for some kind of alarm button to push, when the machine next to the bed started beeping and nearly scared the crap out of me. The next moment, the door opened and two male nurses came hurrying into the room. As soon as they spotted me on the bed with Edward, one of them instantly called out, "Hey, what do you think you're doing? You can't be up there!"

The other one - who was the older of the two - shook his head in agreement as he insisted in a slightly calmer voice that I needed to get off the bed and move out of their way. I was about to shout at them to help Edward instead of scolding me when I felt him tense up in my arms and start shaking. He grasped at my arm in a weak attempt to prevent me from moving away.

While I was relieved to see that he seemed at least somewhat aware of what was happening around him and clearly wanted me to stay close, I was frightened by the jerky gasps coming out of his throat along with his uneven breathing. It was like he couldn't get enough air into his lungs and he was starting to panic. "Bella..." he wheezed, desperately trying to hold on to me despite the obvious pain in his arm.

"For the last time, miss, you need to back off so we can help him," the younger nurse demanded as he strode up to the bed and firmly tugged at my arm. "Either you go wait in the corner where you won't be in the way, or you will have to leave the room. I'm sorry, but you're not helping your friend by keeping us from doing our job."

"He's my _boyfriend_!" I growled, tears coursing down my face as I stumbled off the bed and backed away, just enough to let them pass. It just about killed me having to leave Edward's side in that moment, especially as he tried to reach out for me in a feeble manner, only to slump back against the mattress in defeat and exhaustion, all the while practically hyperventilating.

I had to give the two of them some credit for being completely focused and working so quickly, but my heart still ached as I was unable to do anything but simply standing there and wait for them to be done. One of them placed an oxygen mask over Edward's mouth and nose before pulling out a syringe and injected something in his arm while the other one used a stethoscope to listen to his heart.

After what felt like forever, I could finally hear his breathing becoming more regular and I watched in relief how the color was slowly starting to return to his face. His eyes were closed, and at first I thought they had either put him under sedation or he had simply fallen asleep, but then his lips moved and he weakly mumbled my name. "Bella?"

I nearly tripped over my own feet in my eagerness to get to him, carefully taking his hand and holding it gently between mine. "I'm here, baby. I'm right here."

He reached weakly for the mask, trying to pull it off, but one of the nurses stopped him. "Just keep it on for a while." Edward didn't look too pleased but was obviously too tired to protest. After giving him strict orders to just lie still and rest while waiting for the doctor to come check on him, they both left the room.

It didn't take long before the door opened again and Dr. Cullen entered the room. "Hello again, Edward. Bella." I managed a weak smile in response. He cleared his throat. "Edward, I ran into your sister just outside. She was a little worried about you and wanted to come back in here to make sure you were all right, but I assured her we'd take good care of you. She finally agreed to go home for the night."

Edward rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. Dr. Cullen continued, "I heard things got a little rough a moment ago. Now it's very important that you take it easy and try not to get too worked up. After what you've been through tonight, your body will require a lot of rest, not to mention time, in order for you to recuperate. How are you feeling now? Any better?"

He nodded, although I could tell he was struggling to keep his eyes open. The doctor was quiet for a few seconds before he went on, "I also spoke to your mother - she's still waiting outside. I suggested she'd go home as well and come back tomorrow, but she insisted on coming in to see you first and say goodbye."

Then he turned to me. "Bella, I'm going to do another full checkup on Edward, just to make sure everything is in order. I would like for you to wait outside. You can come back once we're done."

Sighing, I then reluctantly nodded in agreement, not happy about it but knowing I didn't have much choice. At least he said I could come back. Glancing at Edward, I noted he thankfully seemed to take the news pretty calmly. Or maybe he just didn't have the energy left to object. Either way it was a relief, since I didn't think I'd be able to walk away if he started to panic again as I attempted to leave his side.

I found Esme in the waiting area, looking like she had been crying, although her face lit up with hope as she spotted me. "Bella! Is everything all right? Alice said she had to send someone in there since Edward was in so much pain." She wrung her hands and her eyes welled up.

"He had some sort of..." I swallowed, "...episode, where he almost passed out, but he's better now. Dr. Cullen is with him." She nodded in understanding, looking somewhat calmer. I told her I would head down to the cafeteria and grab some coffee, asking after a moment's hesitation if she would like to join me.

She declined, explaining that she wanted to see Edward one more time before she went home. Then she watched me closely for a couple of seconds and I got the feeling she wanted to say something more, but she obviously decided against it as she instead just patted my hand lightly and wished me a good night.

The minutes dragged as I sat in the half empty cafeteria, nursing my now lukewarm beverage to make it last as long as possible while I waited for enough time to pass so I could go back to Edward. I doubted Dr. Cullen would allow me to stay in his room all night, but no matter what, no one could persuade me to leave the hospital.

Not until Edward could come home with me.


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

**Bella**

Once I got back to Edward's room, I realized Dr. Cullen must have already finished and left, as he was now all alone. "Hey," I said softly as I made my way over to the bed, happy to see that he was still awake. He turned his head slowly in my direction and I could tell he was trying to give me a smile, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked so tired. Tired and sad.

I pulled a chair up to the bed and sat down, picking up his hand and gently running my fingers over his knuckles. "What did the doctor say?"

He shrugged, avoiding to meet my eyes. "Just that I'll probably be able to go home tomorrow after all, as long as there will be no further complications, or another panic attack."

My eyes widened slightly in surprise. "Oh. So that's what it was." To tell the truth, I was a little relieved. Not that a panic attack was a good thing, but I figured it made sense after all the stress he must have been under. As if the accident itself wasn't enough, there was also this whole mess with Alice. No wonder it had all become too much for him.

In all honesty, Esme's words earlier tonight about Edward's father had struck me hard, and I couldn't quite push the disturbing thoughts away. What if there had been something wrong with Edward's heart? For a moment, my mind had conjured up all kinds of horrible scenarios. A panic attack seemed harmless compared to, well, a heart attack. I shuddered.

"Did you ever have one before?" I asked carefully. When he shook his head, I gave his hand a little squeeze. "Must've been scary." No response. I bit my lip. "Edward, are you okay?"

"Yeah." He still wouldn't look at me. I opened my mouth, although I didn't really know what to say, when he spoke again, "Are you leaving?"

"What?" For a moment, I was confused. Then I shook my head. "No, of course not. I mean, I may not be allowed to stay in here all night, but I'm not leaving this hospital without you."

The corner of his mouth turned slightly upward. "The doc said you'd come back. Told me visiting hour's supposed to be over, but he promised not to tell anyone if I don't."

I couldn't help but smile. "I like Dr. Cullen. He's really nice." He just nodded. When he made no attempt of saying anything more, my smile faded. I couldn't blame him for being tired after everything he had been through, but it suddenly seemed to be more than that. In fact, he seemed downright depressed. Hesitating for a second, I then asked quietly, "So, how are you _really_ feeling?"

Edward glanced at me, and I could see his eyes shining with unshed tears. He was quiet for so long, I started to doubt he would answer, but then he finally spoke up. "Feel like crap," he admitted, his voice cracking. "Fuck, Bella, this is all just... I mean, tonight..." He inhaled shakily and closed his eyes as he was clearly unable to continue. When he opened them again, a tear slipped down his cheek.

"Hey..." I stood up, tenderly wiping the tear away with my thumb and leaning in to give him a soft kiss on the lips. Then - after fumbling with it for a moment as I tried to figure out how it worked - I lowered the rail at the side of the bed. There still wasn't much room left for me to sit, though, at least not while Edward was lying on his back. So instead I just leaned over him again, gently taking his face between my hands as I rested my forehead against his. "It's okay, now, sweetie. Everything will be fine."

It was painfully obvious how he was struggling to keep himself together, but I could tell that it had all taken quite a toll on him. He made a weak attempt of turning his face away, but he couldn't stop the tremors that had started running through his body. For a brief moment, I feared it was the beginning of another panic attack, but he didn't seem to have any trouble breathing this time.

When the tears started spilling down his face and he failed to hold back a sob, I suspected it was all just starting to hit him. Not to mention that he had to be completely worn out, both physically and mentally. I felt a tug at my heartstrings as I caressed his tear-streaked face, gently asking him to roll over so he was lying on his side.

He seemed a bit confused at first, but then complied without objection, and I could finally lie down next to him. When he realized what I was doing, he helpfully scooted back a little to give me more room. I quickly put the rail back up, not wanting to risk either of us tumbling off the bed, and then curled up at his side. It wasn't very comfortable, but at the moment, I couldn't care less.

At least now I'd be able to hold him and hopefully provide him with some comfort. "I need you to tell me if this is hurting you, all right? Can you lift your head just a little?" When he did as I asked, I carefully slipped my arm under his neck, wrapping him up in a tender embrace. "Is this okay?" I whispered, worried of causing him pain, but desperately wanting to console him when he was so miserable.

Instead of responding, he just buried his face in the crook of my neck and it didn't take long before I could feel the wetness of his tears against my skin. I searched my mind for something - _anything_ - to say to make him feel better, but then I decided words weren't really necessary right now. So I just hugged him closer, gently running my fingers through his hair.

The room was silent, aside from Edward's occasional sniffling and ragged breathing, and - much to my surprise - I realized I was actually starting to feel at peace. It was just so quiet, and we were all alone. Although Edward was still trembling slightly in my arms, he was no doubt calmer now than he had been only a couple of minutes ago.

A few more minutes passed, and pretty soon I could feel him grow heavier against me as his body was starting to relax more and more. His breathing was now slow and even, and he was lying so still I was certain he had fallen asleep. But when I glanced at him, I noticed his eyes were still open, although he seemed to have a hard time keeping them up.

"You can sleep, you know," I murmured, stroking the hair at the back of his neck. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Not that tired," he mumbled, his voice hoarse and raspy. I wasn't convinced, but saw no point in questioning him. After the day he'd had, I knew it was just a matter of time before he would drift off, and I had a strong feeling I wouldn't be far behind. Until now, I'd been too worked up and agitated to feel anything, but now I realized I was exhausted as well.

A thought occurred to me. "Hey, did your mom stop by while I was away?" I figured it might be awkward if Esme suddenly walked into the room, finding me and Edward in such an intimate position. Especially since I most likely wasn't supposed to be in the bed with him at all.

I felt him nod against me and he cleared his throat. "Yeah. Said she'd be back tomorrow." He failed to hold back a yawn.

Well, that was a relief. I felt myself relax. Of course, there was always a chance someone would come in here during the night to check on Edward, but I pushed the thought away as I couldn't really do anything about it. Hopefully we would look so peaceful that they wouldn't have the heart to disturb us. The thought of leaving Edward's side now literally made my body ache.

And judging by the way his hand was firmly placed on my waist and he had yet to move away an inch, he felt pretty much the same way.

"Just close your eyes and rest," I whispered, feeling my own eyelids droop at my words. "Tomorrow night, we'll be sleeping in a much more comfortable bed." As soon as the words had left my mouth, I felt myself blush. Was it wrong of me to just assume that Edward would want to spend the following night with me as well? Maybe he would prefer to be alone. Surely he could use some peace and quiet.

But then again, he might just crave my company and presence as much as I craved his. Deep down, I knew I was probably right. The signs were all there. But a part of me was still afraid of getting ahead of myself. I didn't want to take him for granted. However, as I felt Edward's nose nuzzle my cheek and he let out a content sigh, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips, I relaxed again.

I would just have to trust him to let me know if I was pushing things too far. It was probably going to take some time before we were both fully confident in ourselves and our relationship. With that thought, I snuggled closer to Edward - if that was even possible - and allowed sleep to claim me.

* * *

><p>When I opened my eyes, the bright light made me flinch and I immediately closed them again. Bracing myself, I then blinked a couple of times, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I heard a soft chuckle and realized Edward was awake as well. Our eyes met and his smile turned into a full grin. "You know, you're awfully cute when you're pouting."<p>

Someone seemed to be in a better mood this morning. I yawned. "Well, I _was_ comfortable until a moment ago. Now my back's killing me and I'm cold." A shiver ran through my body, as if to give emphasis to my words. His smile faltered and his expression turned into guilt. Before he could say anything, I hurried to add, "But there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here, so don't give me that look. I love you."

"I love you, too." There was relief in his voice. Then he grimaced. "Guess it's safe to say these beds aren't meant for more than one person."

"I would say your assumption is correct," Dr. Cullen agreed dryly from the doorway. I let out a startled squeal and flew up in a sitting position, my cheeks turning crimson, and I could feel Edward tense up next to me.

As I quickly scrambled off the bed, a stream of stuttered apologies tumbled out of my mouth. "I'm so sorry, I know I probably shouldn't even be here, but we fell asleep, and-"

"Relax, Bella, and breathe." Dr. Cullen cut me off in my rambling, and when I finally dared to look at him, I noticed he appeared to be somewhat amused. "Just be glad I'm the one who caught you - I doubt my other colleagues would be as understanding." I gulped and nodded. Obviously taking pity on me, he then turned to Edward. "So, Edward, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Better." He rolled over on his back, slowly moving his arm up and down a few times. "Arm's still a bit stiff, but it doesn't hurt as much."

"Good. Try sitting up." The doctor waited for him to comply. "Now, how does your head feel? Any pain? Dizziness? Do you feel nauseous?"

He slowly shook his head. "Just have a dull headache. Sort of like a hang-over."

"Ah. Well, that's to be expected." Dr. Cullen seemed pleased. "Okay, here's what's going to happen. I will keep you for a couple of hours, just in case, and then I'll come back to do a final checkup. In the meantime, I want you to move around the room, perhaps take a short walk out in the hallway. Now, I must stress the importance of not wearing yourself out. But we need to make sure your body can handle small amounts of activity."

Edward nodded in acceptance, a hopeful look on his face. "And then I can go home?"

"_If_ no complications will arise, then yes." He glanced briefly at me before turning back to Edward. "However, I strongly advice for someone to stay with you for at least twenty-four hours after you get home. Will that be a problem?"

"Um..." Edward looked taken aback for a moment. "I suppose-"

"Not a problem," I interrupted without thinking. As both men's eyes turned to me, I only felt embarrassed for a second before I shook it off. If Edward _would_ be opposed to me spending the next twenty-four hours caring for his needs - which I sincerely hoped he wouldn't - I figured Esme would gladly agree to keep her son company. Either way, he wouldn't be alone.

A slight frown appeared on Edward's face, but he nodded, although somewhat uncertainly. "Yeah, I guess that can be arranged." I gave him an assuring smile and his features relaxed. "Yeah," he repeated after a moment. "No problem."

I let out the breath I had been holding, thinking this was actually perfect. Since Dr. Cullen had pretty much insisted on someone staying with Edward, I wouldn't have to suggest it myself. Of course, I had to make sure he knew I didn't mind one bit. I was more than happy to be there for him.

As soon as the doctor had left, Edward started to get up, and I refrained from rushing over to help him. I could only imagine how annoying it had to be when someone treated you like you might break, and the last thing I wanted was for him to feel like I was smothering him.

The first steps he took were a bit wobbly, but thankfully he didn't seem dizzy or anything, and after successfully walking back and forth across the room without stumbling or feeling sick, he told me he was ready to step out in the hallway. He seemed eager to get out of the small hospital room, not that I could blame him.

We walked slowly down the corridor and then back, our hands entwined the whole time. I took the opportunity to ask Edward how he felt about me coming home with him, and to my relief, he didn't seem to mind. Not that I had expected him to be overly upset about it, but still, I had basically invited myself over without giving him a chance to voice his opinion first.

About two and a half hours later - true to Dr. Cullen's words - Edward was released and we were able to leave the hospital. Esme came to pick us up, and she didn't even bat an eyelash when I asked her if she could drive by my apartment so I could grab a few things before going back to Edward's place. It was like she already knew, although neither of us had said anything out loud.

The two of them waited in the car while I hurried inside and threw some things down in a small duffel bag. A change of clothes, a hairbrush, my apple scented shampoo, a toothbrush, and my favorite sleeping attire - a white sleeveless shirt and a pair of midnight blue pajama pants. I figured that would be enough for one night.

My cell phone rang just as I was about to walk out the door, and I groaned when I saw it was my mom. At first I considered simply ignoring her, but then decided against it since I knew she would just keep calling me until I picked up. I held back a sigh and reluctantly pushed the accept button. "Hello, Renee. This is not really a good time."

"Why not?" I could practically see the small wrinkle appear between her perfectly plucked eyebrows, as always when she got annoyed over something. "And you know I don't like it when you call me by the name like that. I'm your mother, Isabella."

Closing my eyes, I silently counted to five. _She_ knew I had always hated when she called me Isabella and she never once bothered to correct herself, no matter how many times I asked her. So why should _I_ care? When I remained silent, she went on, "Well? What is so important that you can't give me a moment of your time when we haven't spoken in days?"

I shook my head and rolled my eyes. Before I started seeing Edward, Renee and I used to talk on the phone almost every day, and see each other at least once a week. Of course, our conversations mostly consisted of her either ranting and filling me in on the latest gossip while I pretended to give a damn, or trying to talk me into doing something for her - like accompanying her to some 'important' social event.

In fact, I couldn't remember a single time when she had called simply to ask me how I was doing. And I was pretty sure today was no exception.

"Actually, my boyfriend was in a car accident last night," I told her as calmly as I could. "I'm on my way over to his place."

"Oh." For a moment, her voice softened a little. "Is he all right?"

To be honest, I was surprised she even cared enough to ask. "Yes, thank God. I-"

"I guess that answers my question whether you're still seeing him," Renee cut me off, sounding like herself again. My grip on the phone tightened and I gritted my teeth, although I bit back my response. She must have detected my rising irritation because she hurried to change the subject, as if to placate me, "Look, I realize you're busy today but why don't you come over tomorrow? I'll fix us something to eat."

I frowned, having not seen that coming. At all. "You're gonna cook?" I asked skeptically.

"Sure." She sounded almost hurt. "I'm fully capable of throwing something together."

"I don't know." I was torn. "I take it Edward's not invited?"

She was silent for a moment. When she finally spoke, her words surprised me. "Of course he is. Bring him along."

"Um..." While a part of me was glad she seemed to at least _try_ to make an effort, I doubted Edward would be up to it. "Not sure I want to put him through something like that again," I told her bluntly and cringed as I recalled the last - and only - time he and my mother had met. "Besides, I think he'd prefer to stay at home for the next couple of days. He needs to take it easy while he's recovering."

"You're probably right." I expected her to let it go, but she continued, "I tell you what. Let's just post-pone it for now, and the two of you can come over some time next week. Will Wednesday work for you?"

I hesitated a little, wondering why she suddenly seemed so eager to have me and Edward over. "To be honest, Mom, I'm not sure Edward would be comfortable seeing you again after the way you acted the last time. Are you planning to apologize?"

"If it makes you happy, then sure." She sighed. "So what do you say?"

My instinct told me to say no, but either I was too much of a coward, or I just wasn't ready to sever the ties with my mother. If she truly wanted to stay in my life, though, she had no choice but to accept that Edward and I now came in a package deal. So I tried to push my uneasiness aside. "I'll have to get back to you after I've talked to Edward. If he doesn't want to go, I won't be there either."

"I see." She huffed. "So this is how it's going to be from now on? You're going to let your boyfriend make all the decisions for you and then just go along with whatever he says?"

"No." I forced myself to stay as calm as possible although I really just wanted to scream in frustration. "But I respect his feelings and value his opinion. I fully understand if he says no, Mom, and I can't say I would blame him. Neither should you."

Silence. Then, "And I told you I'm willing to apologize. So what's the problem?"

She just didn't understand. And I started to doubt she ever would. I let out a defeated sigh. "Never mind. I'll call you back tomorrow." She started to object, but I told her I had to go and quickly ended the phone call. Taking a short moment to collect myself, I then locked up and hurried down the stairs, feeling bad for keeping Edward and his mother waiting.

I started apologizing the moment I jumped into the backseat of the car, putting the duffel bag on the seat next to me. "I'm really sorry it took so long. My mom called and she wouldn't just let me go." Edward's expression turned into concern as he worriedly scanned my face, no doubt searching for any sign that Renee had upset me. I gave him a small smile, promising myself I'd tell him all about it later.

He really shouldn't have to worry about me right now.

Once Esme had dropped us off outside Edward's apartment and then left, after making us promise to give her a call if we needed anything, it hit me that we would have the rest of the day - and night - completely to ourselves. It seemed too good to be true, and I had to admit I sort of waited for the other shoe to drop. I felt like we had just dodged a bullet, and in a way, I figured we had.

Or at least Edward had. As I glanced at him, I was filled with a gratitude far too great to even describe. A part of me had a hard time to comprehend the fact that he was standing here next to me, practically unharmed. I really could have lost him. As soon as the thought hit me, I felt my eyes begin to water.

"Bella?" Edward gently cupped my cheek. "What's wrong? Is it your mom? What did she say to you?"

I shook my head. "Forget about my mom. I just can't help but think about what could've happened. God, Edward, what if-"

"Don't do this." He took my hand and led me over to the couch. "Look, I admit I was starting to freak out a bit myself for a while, but really, there's no point in dwelling on what could have been. I'm okay. We both are. Let's just forget about everything else for now." I got a feeling of deja vu, as I had once said something similar to him.

It sounded good to me, so I nodded. "You're right. I'll try." However, I suspected the sound of screeching tires would haunt my dreams for a long time. And deep down, I knew I would never completely forget how terrified I had been on the way to the hospital. But, like Edward said, it was pointless to get stuck on the 'what if?'. It was over now. He was here, alive and safe. And that's all that mattered.

"I was lucky," he mumbled softly, his arms finding their way around me as I snuggled into his chest. "Let's just leave it at that."

I was more than happy to oblige.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

**Bella**

Edward and I ended up spending the next couple of days together in his apartment. He seemed to be feeling a lot better now that he was out of the hospital, but I still didn't want him to push himself too hard. At first I worried he would become bored just sitting around, but if he was, he never complained. We watched a lot of TV, played video games, and just talked. It was all very nice and relaxing.

Of course, we also snuggled a lot, which sometimes turned into more or less heavy make-out sessions. During those times, it was so easy to forget all about car accidents, meddling sisters and self-absorbed mothers. It felt so good just being able to live in the moment and enjoy the time alone with Edward.

Unfortunately, reality had a way of catching up with me, and my thoughts kept coming back to Renee. A little voice inside my head whispered that maybe I was just better off without her. But a part of me didn't want to hear it. After all, she _was_ my mom - the only one I had - and deep down, I still wanted her to be a part of my life.

But if she couldn't accept Edward as my boyfriend and the most important person in my life, then it also meant that she couldn't fully accept _me_. As my mother, shouldn't she automatically have my best interest in mind? That's what I had always been telling myself - that her intentions _had_ to be honorable, at least on some level, even though it didn't always made sense to me.

Or maybe that was just me trying to make excuses and try to justify Renee's behavior? To be perfectly honest, I didn't know what to think.

"What's the matter, love?" Edward asked suddenly, startling me a little, and I realized I must have zoned out for a moment.

I hesitated for a couple of seconds, wanting to be honest with him but not really sure how to explain. Then I decided to just let it out in the open and see how he would react. "I'm just thinking about my mom," I admitted softly, glancing at him.

"Oh." He nodded slowly in understanding. "What did she do now?"

"Nothing. Or maybe... I don't know." I sighed. "All right, here's the thing. She wants us to come over next week and I told her I'd get back to her. But now I'm wondering if maybe I should've just said no right away."

"Okay..." He got a confused look on his face. "So you don't want to go?"

"I don't know what I want." I slumped back against the cushion. "What do _you_ think? Be honest."

He was quiet for a moment. "Bella, it doesn't really matter what I think. I will always support you, no matter what. If I'm invited and you want me to come with you, then I will. If you want to go alone, or not at all, then I'll respect your decision. I hated the way she talked to you the last time, but I would never ask you to stop seeing your mom because of me. Only you can decide what to do in this situation."

I worried my bottom lip between my teeth. "Thanks, baby, but your opinion matters to me. I know you think Renee treated me badly, but I'd gladly take everything she throws at me if she would just be respectful and nice to you. Or maybe not _gladly_, but you get my point. I wouldn't complain. I only care about you."

"Bella, you can't be serious." He stared at me in exasperation. "Are you listening to yourself? You're basically saying it's okay for your mother to belittle you and put you down, as long as she's being nice to me. That's just crazy!"

"I didn't say it was okay," I protested weakly, starting to feel kind of stupid. "All I meant was, rather me than you. You deserve better than having to put up with her crap."

"And _you_ don't?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Bella, I'm trying to understand, but hearing you talk like this..." He paused for a moment and when he went on, his voice softened, "Look, I know what it's like to have someone in your family disrespecting you. It fucking hurts, and it's not right. I don't want that for you." He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. "God, this is worse than I thought."

"What's that suppose to mean?" I fidgeted awkwardly with the hem of my shirt. "Edward, I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Bella, no..." He closed his eyes for a moment. Then he reached for my hand. "Don't say that, sweetheart. I'm the one who asked in the first place, remember? I want you to feel like you can tell me anything, even if I won't always agree with you. And you didn't make me angry, please don't think that. I'm mad at your mom for making you doubt yourself, that's all. Come here." He pulled me into his arms.

I put my head down on his shoulder, melting into his embrace. "I get it. But really, I can handle it. Trust me when I say this - there's nothing my mom could say or do to me that would hurt me more than if she's being rude to you. I don't care what you say - she was way out of line. And that's why I'm hesitating about this. I hate the thought of putting you through something like that again."

Edward let out a sigh and pressed a kiss to the top of my head. "I hear you, but you have to believe me when I say I'm fine with it. I can handle your mom - I'm used to people treating me a lot worse than that. It's you I'm worrying about. You literally became sick the last time you saw her. I don't want to see that happen again."

I cringed with embarrassment as I recalled the humiliating episode in the bathroom when I passed out on the floor and scared Edward half to death. "I know. I'm so sorry about that."

"Bella, it wasn't your fault." He looked me right in the eyes. "All right, listen to me. I want you to take the rest of the day and think about what you wanna do. If you decide to accept your mother's invitation, then all you have to do is say the word and I'll be right there with you. I mean that. You don't have to go through it alone. We're in this together now. Right?"

I gave him a small but genuine smile. "Yes. Together. I like the sound of that."

He nodded in agreement, looking somewhat relieved, but I could see he had more on his mind. Finally he spoke up, hesitantly, "You don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but... I remember Renee saying some things about your dad that made you really upset. Will you tell me what that was about?"

I gulped, having not seen this coming. "Um..."

Obviously noticing my uneasiness, Edward brought my hand up to his lips and brushed them gently against my knuckles. "When was the last time you spoke to him?"

"Well..." I thought for a moment. "We used to talk almost every week, but now I guess it's been a while. I know I called him on his birthday, but that was... last month?" My eyes widened. Had it really been that long? I realized Charlie didn't even know I was in a serious relationship. "I should give him a call," I mumbled, guilt welling up inside me.

"I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you." Edward absently played with a strand of my hair.

"Yeah." I was silent for a few seconds, well aware that I had dodged his other question, which made me feel a bit bad. I knew he wouldn't push me by asking again, but I also suspected he was a little disappointed. After all, he had been open about his past, and I figured I owed him the same.

After contemplating my options, I finally made my decision and took a deep breath. "Edward, about what Renee said..." I hesitated, glancing at him. Seeing how he straightened up, his expression instantly turning hopeful, I knew I had his full attention.

My throat suddenly felt dry, but I forced myself to continue, "She was talking about something I did a long time ago, when we still lived in Forks. It was really stupid." I looked down at my hands, unable to look at him as the memories came rushing back.

"What did you do?" he asked softly. When I couldn't bring myself to respond, he gently caught my chin, forcing my to raise my head and face him. "Bella, please don't hide from me. No matter what it is, I won't judge you."

I knew he was telling the truth. Okay, so it would be a lie to say the thought had never even crossed my mind, but deep down, I knew better. Edward would never pity me, either. He just didn't have it in him. But that didn't make me feel any less ashamed or embarrassed about the whole thing.

I sighed. "All right, here we go. When I was thirteen, Renee sort of caught me with a... a knife, in my room." Hearing Edward's sharp intake of air, I hurried on before I would lose my courage, "I was holding it over my arm when she walked into my room and she immediately jumped to conclusions and thought I was about to... but I swear to God, Edward, I never meant to actually... _do_ anything."

"Bella..." he started, sounding almost like he was in pain. But I quickly placed two fingers over his lips, begging him with my eyes to just let me get it all out before he said anything. Looking conflicted for a moment, he then nodded once in acceptance and gestured for me to go on, just like he could read my mind and realized what I needed.

"I just..." I searched my mind for a way to explain that wouldn't make me sound like a total nutcase. But it was hard. The more I thought about it now, as an adult, the crazier did it seem, even in my own head. But I wanted Edward to understand where I was coming from. "It sounds weird now, but I was fascinated by the thought of my own blood. It would take so little to..." I shook my head to clear it.

"But I promise you, that's all it was - a fantasy in my head. Dark and twisted, sure, but a fantasy all the same. I wasn't going to act on it. And the moment I stopped to actually see what I was doing and realized how dangerous it was, I just froze. That's when Renee came into the room. She basically took one look at me, burst into tears and announced that we were leaving."

"Leaving, as in...?" Edward started to ask, but then quickly raised his hands. "Never mind, sorry. Just go on at your own pace."

"It's okay." I tried to give him a reassuring smile, but didn't quite succeed. "Leaving Forks - the house, school, my whole life." I paused. "And my father."

His eyes were so sympathetic, it nearly made me tear up. "I'm sorry, love. I can't even imagine how hard it must've been."

I shrugged. "It wasn't so bad, once I got used to it. Leaving Charlie behind was the worst part, but my mom... she..." I stopped, not really sure if I should tell him this, seeing how I already knew how he felt about Renee and this wouldn't make her look any better in his book. But then again, why hold back now?

Torn between wanting to scan Edward's face for his reaction or hiding behind my hair so I wouldn't have to see it, I finally slipped my hand back into his, focusing on our entwined fingers. "She told me once that he was appalled by my attempt to... hurt myself and couldn't handle it, that he practically begged her to take me. She also warned me never to bring it up in front of him, saying it would just upset him."

It made sense to me at the time, and I had been more than happy to push it all to the back of my mind and pretend it never happened. So I never said anything to Charlie, convinced that he already knew and just wanted to forget about it, just like me. But now it seemed like Renee had been manipulating me all along. She pretty much confirmed it at the deli when she blurted out that he never noticed anything.

"Edward, I think I should probably go." He frowned at me, looking confused and hurt, and I realized he had misunderstood me. I hurried to clarify, "No, no, I don't mean right now. To my mom's, next week. I think it's time she and I have a serious talk." I grimaced. "It could get ugly, though. You might just wanna sit this one out."

"What?" He stared at me in disbelief. "Don't be ridiculous, I'm not letting you do this all by yourself. I said we're in this together and I fucking meant it. Stop trying to protect me when it should be the other way around. Please, Bella, just let me do my job as your boyfriend for once." His voice softened at the last part, as if to take the edge off his words.

I didn't know if I should be annoyed or just in awe. While he was no doubt as sweet as they come, he could also be quite stubborn. I rolled my eyes. "Edward, you're already being a perfect boyfriend, so don't give me any of that crap. So we both want to protect each other. Deal with it. I'm sure your male ego will survive."

He looked slightly abashed. "You're right. I'm sorry." A pause. "But I'm still coming with you. Don't try to talk me out of it." A hint of uncertainty flashed across his face and he hurried to add, "Unless you really don't want me to be there...?"

"Of course I do," I assured him quickly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. And I meant it. The selfish part of me, anyway. Then there was another part that desperately wanted to keep him away from all of this. Because I wasn't kidding when I said it could get ugly. There was a reason I had never really confronted my mother about, well, anything. And I wasn't looking forward to it one bit.

But I started to feel I didn't have much choice.

"Okay." He leaned his head back against the cushion, watching me intently for a few seconds. "Here's what we'll do. You call your mom tomorrow, tell her we'll both be there. And-"

I interrupted him softly, my voice apologetic, "I sort of told her I'd call her today."

Edward wrapped his arms around me and hugged me close, which I guessed was partly an attempt to keep me from getting up. "Waiting until morning won't kill her." Before I could object, he continued, "Besides, I know you. If you talk to her now and she says something to tick you off - which I would say is most likely - you'll be sad and moody for hours. Call me selfish, but I want my girl happy tonight."

When he put it like that, who was I to argue? And if he was being selfish, then so was I, because I wanted him to be happy as well. I raised my hands in surrender, sighing contently as I snuggled into his embrace. Clearly pleased to have won the 'argument', he gave me the sweetest smile and pressed a tender kiss to my forehead.

That's when my stomach had to ruin the moment by growling. Naturally I blushed, causing Edward to snicker. "I'll go fix us something to eat."

"You will do no such thing," I protested. "Are you forgetting that you're the one who's supposed to just take it easy?"

"Right, um..." he got a sheepish look on his face, "When I said 'fix us something', I kind of meant I would pick up the phone and call the nearest pizza place that delivers."

"Edward..." I shook my head in mild disapproval. "Didn't I tell you to get rid of all your take-out menus? I'll just make us something instead."

Thinking for a moment, he then nodded in agreement. "That's probably a better idea, if you're sure you're up to it?" I nodded. "Oh, and I'll have you know I _did_ throw away those menus. Just happen to have a few of the numbers memorized." He shrugged, looking slightly embarrassed. I couldn't help but smile, giving him a quick peck on the cheek before getting up and heading towards the kitchen.

Since I hadn't really eaten anything today, I figured I should be starving. But up until the moment when my stomach had decided to make its existence known by making embarrassing noises, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. And to be honest, I still didn't feel all that hungry, even though my body seemed to insist otherwise.

I just hoped I would be able to get something down. After all, I had promised myself I would start eating like a normal person, and I couldn't stand the thought of seeing the concern and disappointment in Edward's eyes if I went back to just picking at my food. I couldn't let him down now.

As I was rummaging through the fridge and the cupboards in search for something edible - Edward had a lot of junk food, but I didn't think that would be good for either of us - my phone rang in my pocket, and my stomach instantly dropped as I was certain it would be Renee again. I was both relieved and surprised when I saw an unknown number on the display. "Hello?"

"Hi, Bella, it's Rose." I immediately recognized her voice. She sounded almost hesitant as she went on, "Is this a bad time?"

"No, not at all. I was just..." It was my turn to hesitate. "I'm at Edward's."

"Yeah, I know." She paused for a moment. "Jasper called and told me what happened. Then I talked to Esme. My God, Bella, how are you holding up? How's Edward?"

I felt a lump form in my throat, thinking it had to be the first time someone - other than Edward, of course - actually seemed to care about how I was dealing with all this. Or maybe she was just being polite. "I'm okay, Rose, thanks for asking. Edward was really lucky." My voice trembled at the last part, the words relentlessly reminding me of how close I had come to losing him.

"I'll say. I can't believe it. It must've been a nightmare. I'm so glad he's all right." She was quiet for a few seconds. "Bella, I want you to know I talked to Alice as well. She called me this morning."

"Oh." I didn't know how to respond to that. Alice and Rose had been friends for a long time, so I shouldn't be surprised. I just worried about what Alice might have said about me.

"She was... really upset." Rosalie sighed. "I'm worried about her. She's so angry and hostile - it's like she's turned into a completely different person. I swear, Bella, she wasn't always like this. Something inside her changed after the whole mess with Vicky, and now... I don't know. One day she's all smiles and happy, just like she used to be before it all happened. And the next, she seems just... vicious."

She sounded so sad and genuinely worried about her friend, and I involuntarily shivered. If what she said was true, then Vicky had caused a lot more damage than I had even imagined. I thought the incident had just made Alice cold and suspicious, but now I started to see that, somewhere along the way, she had just snapped.

"She had the biggest heart," Rose continued, oblivious to my inner turmoil. "Always trying to see something good in everyone, and she just couldn't understand how some people would take pleasure in preying on those who were weaker. She hated bullies, and I think she was hurting just as much as Edward when the other kids made fun of him."

"Right." I shook my head, the irony of it all not lost on me. "And now she's the one hurting him."

"Just..." Rose hesitated. "Give her some space. She's clearly not herself right now, and I'd hate for any of them - or you, for that matter - to suffer more than you already have. I tried to get through to her, but I guess she's not ready to listen. For what it's worth, Emmett and I are happy for you and Edward. You're obviously good for each other. Don't listen to anyone who says otherwise."

"Thank you." I swallowed. "I'm glad you told me this, Rose. It means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." She sounded almost as relieved as I felt. "Hey, I was just thinking. Maybe you and Edward could come over here some time. We could hang out and do something fun, just the four of us. What do you think?" There was a hopeful note in her voice.

"Sure, that sounds great. I'll talk to Edward." I realized I was smiling now. Maybe things would turn out all right after all.

After we had ended our conversation, I quickly gathered what I needed to make a couple of sandwiches, making a mental note to go for a grocery run as soon as I got the chance. What Edward needed was some real food, and not just the frozen kind you would take out of a box and heat up in the microwave.

When I returned to the other room, I found Edward sound asleep on the couch. I tried to be quiet as I sat down on the floor, not wanting to disturb him, but it was almost as if he could sense my presence, because it took less than a minute before he opened his eyes, blinking sleepily a few times. "What are you doing down there?" He sounded puzzled.

I couldn't help but smile - he just looked so confused and adorable, and... was he actually pouting? "You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you," I explained. He reached out his hand without a word and I instantly took it, my smile widening. "How are you feeling?" I picked up one of the sandwiches from the plate and offered it to him.

"Thanks." He sat up, tugged on my hand until I got off the floor and sat down next to him, and then took a big bite. "I'm fine. My back's a bit stiff but my arm's better. And my head doesn't hurt as much."

"That's good." I reached for a sandwich of my own and nibbled on the bread. "Hey, I'm going grocery shopping tomorrow. We should make a list of what we need." His face lit up and it took a moment before I realized I had said 'we', like we were actually living together, and I felt my cheeks become hot. "I mean-"

"Sounds good to me," he cut me off, his eyes sparkling. I closed my mouth again, no longer feeling the need to correct myself. We both knew this was just a temporary arrangement, and I wasn't going to get ahead of myself or jump to any conclusions. But the thought of someday moving in with Edward for real filled me with a great sense of happiness.

After all, I already knew he was it for me.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

**Bella**

Renee sounded pleased when I finally called to let her know Edward and I would be there, although I doubted she would be as enthusiastic if she had been aware of the real reason I had accepted her invitation. I was going to set things straight with her, once and for all, and if she didn't like what I had to say, well, that was her problem, not mine.

I had a plan, and I had every intention to stick to it. Edward had assured me that I had his full support, and I had to admit I was relieved that he was willing to come with me. I knew what I had to do, but that didn't mean I was comfortable with it. In fact, the thought of confronting my mother made my stomach churn.

My mind was made up, though. I wasn't going to back down now.

"You're the one in control, here," Edward reminded me gently as we were standing on the front porch outside my mother's house. "Whenever you want to leave, just say the word and we're out. And try not to let her upset you."

I nodded in agreement, even though I couldn't help but think it was easier said than done. Renee had a way of knowing just which buttons to push to get a reaction out of me. I braced myself as I rang the door bell, praying tonight wouldn't turn into a complete disaster.

The door swung open and my mom was standing in the doorway, a big smile plastered to her face. "Hi, sweetheart!" She pulled me in for a quick hug and kissed my cheek briefly before acknowledging Edward, and it wasn't lost on me how her smile became a bit more strained. "Edward. How nice to see you again." Her voice changed as well.

"Hello, Renee," Edward responded politely. "Thanks for inviting me."

Taking a step back to allow us to enter, Renee waved her hand in dismissal. "Actually, my daughter made it perfectly clear that she wouldn't come here tonight without you, so I guess I'm the one who should say thank you. I barely even hear from her these days, but I suppose you've been keeping her busy." She laughed, as if she had just made a funny joke.

I was not the least bit amused. It was a stupid thing to say, especially since she was aware of the accident and knew I had spent the weekend at Edward's place so he wouldn't have to be alone. I gave her a warning look, which she chose to ignore.

Edward opened his mouth, clearly about to say something, but then seemed to decide against it and put on a forced smile. As much as I loved him for his efforts to keep things civil, I wished he wouldn't feel like he had to hold back because of me. He had every right to defend himself when my mother made comments like that.

Or maybe I was overreacting. Maybe she didn't really mean anything. I took a deep breath and silently counted to five, telling myself that she was probably just trying to make conversation. Deep down, I didn't really buy it, but I forced myself to let it go for now. After all, I had promised Edward not to let her get to me.

"So, what's for dinner?" I asked with feigned cheerfulness, slipping my hand into Edward's. "I'm starving." It was a lie, of course, but I wanted to change the subject and it was the only thing I could think of.

"Oh, I made a casserole with green beans and potatoes - it's a new recipe. You're gonna love it!" She beamed at me. "We're eating in the dining room. Isabella, why don't you go ahead? Edward, do you think you could help me open the wine?"

"Yeah, sure." He gave my hand a reassuring squeeze before following my mom into the kitchen. I almost objected, not feeling comfortable leaving Edward alone with Renee. Who knew what she would say to him when I wasn't in the room? But I needed to have faith in him, trust that he could handle my mother. After all, he was the one who asked me to stop trying to protect him all the time.

Casting one last longing look at the door where Edward had disappeared, I then sighed in defeat and headed for the dining room. I was so busy trying to come up with the best way to start what I knew was going to be a most awkward conversation with my mother that it took a moment for my brain to register that someone else was already in the room. The second realization hit me, I froze in my tracks.

There was a guy I had never seen before in my life, sitting at my mom's dinner table with a beer in front of him. He looked to be close to my age, with dark, almost black hair and russet-colored skin. Now he was looking straight at me and his face lit up as our eyes met. "Hi. You must be Isabella."

"Huh?" I just stared at him for a few seconds, momentarily stunned. Then I snapped out of it. "Who are you?"

He jumped up and walked over to me, grinning widely as he held out his hand in greeting. "Name's Jacob. Jacob Black. But you can call me Jake."

"Okay..." I looked at him blankly as I warily shook his outstretched hand. "I'm sorry - I'm a bit confused. My mom didn't mention anything about already having company."

"Oh, well..." He let out a chuckle. "Surprise?"

I tilted my head to the side and studied him closely, wondering what was going on. "So, are you and Renee...?"

"What?" He looked at me like I was crazy. Then he burst out laughing. "You're kidding, right? She and my older sister Rachel go to the same yoga class. I've never even met your mom before today."

While it was a relief to hear that he wasn't romantically involved with my mother, his explanation only made me more confused. "I don't understand. If you don't know her, what are you doing here?"

"Okay, this is getting kind of awkward. I thought..." He cleared his throat. "I can't believe this. She didn't tell you?"

I folded my arms across my chest, eying him suspiciously. "Tell me what? What are you talking about?"

"Um..." He laughed nervously. "It's supposed to be a blind date."

My jaw dropped. Surely I must have misunderstood him. "What? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

He grimaced. "Not quite the reaction I was hoping for. Am I that hideous?" I just stared at him, mouth wide open in shock. This couldn't be happening - it had to be a bad dream. Maybe if I pinched myself really hard, I would wake up. I tried, but nothing happened. Okay, so not a dream, then.

Blind fury welled up inside me as understanding started to dawn on me. "Mother!" I yelled, causing Jacob to jump and take a step back, holding both hands up in the air.

"Isabella, I-" he started, looking slightly alarmed, but I cut him off.

"Don't call me that!" I glared at him in warning. Before he could say anything, Edward burst through the door, my mother in tow. "What the hell is this?" I demanded, gesturing towards Jacob. "You're inviting me and my boyfriend over for dinner, only to set me up with a total stranger? Are you insane?"

Edward's eyes grew wide at my words and he strode across the room, pulling me into his arms almost fiercely, all the while glaring daggers at Jacob. I half expected him to simply punch first and ask questions later. Should that be the case, in that very moment, I didn't think I could blame him.

Jacob's eyes darted between me and Edward in bewilderment, and I could see the exact moment realization hit him. His eyes widened and he suddenly looked like he wished the floor would open up and swallow him. Then he turned to give my mother an accusing look. "I thought you said your daughter was single?"

I shook my head in disgust, pressing myself closer to Edward and slipping my arm around his waist. "My God, Renee, this is just... Have you no decency at all? What's wrong with you?"

Her expression was the picture of innocence. "I don't know what you're talking about. If you just let me explain-"

"You can try, but it won't change anything," I interrupted her, giving her a hard look. "In the other room. Now. I have a few things to say to you, and then Edward and I are leaving." Before she could protest, I turned to Jacob. "Listen, Jacob, there's obviously been a misunderstanding. I'm sure you're a nice guy and all, but as you can see, I'm already taken. I'm sorry my mother dragged you into this."

He just nodded in acknowledgment, his face a mixture of embarrassment and anger. In that moment, I felt bad for him. He never asked for this. I could feel Edward tremble against me and suspected it was taking just about every ounce of willpower he possessed not to lash out at my mother and tell her what he really thought of her right now. A part of me wished he would just speak up.

It was like Edward could read my mind, because he let out a shuddering breath and looked Renee right in the eyes. "How can you do this to her? Are you trying to drive her away for good? You will lose her for real if you keep this up. Do you even care?"

She snorted. "I'm trying to look out for my daughter. How dare you insinuate-"

"Enough!" I exploded. "Kitchen, now!" I gave Edward a pleading look, silently begging him to understand. His eyes softened and he leaned in to give me a quick but tender kiss. I squeezed his hand in response before reluctantly pulling away from him and turning back to Renee, my face hardening. "Let's go."

I didn't wait to see if she would follow as I stomped out of the room. Once I got into the kitchen, I started pacing angrily back and forth until I heard the sound of footsteps approaching. The moment Renee stepped through the door, I stopped and spun around, hands on my hips. "Just because I'm curious, I'll give you one minute to explain what the hell you were thinking. Then you're going to listen to me."

"No need to be so dramatic." She actually had the nerve to roll her eyes. "Are you happy now? You embarrassed poor Jacob with your childish tantrum. Do you have any idea who his sister is? She's married to one of the richest men in town, _and_ she's the owner of the new fashion boutique at the corner of North-"

"I don't give a damn about Jacob's sister!" I told her in exasperation. "You're unbelievable, you know that? This time you've gone too far. I will never forgive you for this."

"Again with the drama." She sighed. "You need to grow up, Isabella. This kind of immature behavior is not very attractive." When I just looked at her coldly, she shook her head. "You really are your father's daughter, aren't you? It's quite sad, really. I had such high hopes for you."

Her words cut me like a knife, but I struggled not to let it show. "I don't get it. I'm your daughter. Why can't you just accept me the way I am? Why do you have to change me into someone else?"

"Because I know what's best for you," she stated patronizingly, and I just wanted to slap her. "Stop being so stubborn and trust me when I say you can do so much better than that so called boyfriend of yours. I mean, he works in a grocery store for God's sake! If he at least had money, then I might be able to overlook the obesity, but I will not stand by and watch you throw your life away like this."

She made me so furious, my entire body was literally shaking, although I somehow managed to keep my voice steady. "Tell me something, Renee. Do you actually believe you have any say in who I decide to be with? It's my life, and with this little stunt you pulled, you just made sure you will no longer be a part of it."

Her mouth fell open and she crossed her arms over her chest, eyes narrowing. "Just what exactly is that suppose to mean? Surely you're not naive enough to think you have what it takes to make it on your own? It's only because of my support and guidance that you haven't turned into a complete failure and a social leper already."

"Your _support_?" I laughed bitterly. "That's a joke if I ever heard one. You were so busy making sure I was hanging with the 'right' kind of people, wearing the 'right' kind of clothes and doing what _you_ decided was socially acceptable, but you never once stopped to ask me if it made _me_ happy. It was always about you!"

"If you really think life is all about happiness, then you're even more pathetic than I thought," Renee sneered. "You need me, mark my words. You'll never survive out in the world alone."

"I'm not alone!" I snapped, losing what was left of my self-control. "As long as I have Edward, I will never be alone, but you on the other hand... You're self-centered and arrogant, and you just lost the only family you had. You hear that, Renee? I've had it. I'm done with you."

I meant every word. I had come here tonight, willing to give her a chance to show me there was some decency and kindness hidden deep inside of her after all, and as far as I was concerned, she just blew it. She still owed me answers, but suddenly I couldn't find it in me to care.

Yes, I was disappointed, but even more so, I was angry. Not just angry - furious. I wanted to scream and curse and throw things, yell at her and tell her what a horrible mother she was and how much she had hurt me - not just tonight, but for years. And then I wanted to storm out of the house and never look back.

I realized I was no longer interested in hearing my mother try to explain her behavior. All of a sudden, confronting her seemed pointless, because it wouldn't change anything. Maybe she had been using me all along, simply looking for an excuse to get out of her marriage and I had unknowingly given it to her. But who in their right mind would do something like that?

"I don't understand what's gotten into you. You're being immature and ungrateful, and you better watch your mouth before you say something you will regret." Renee shook her head, clearly not taking my statement seriously. "I've always had your best interest in mind. The reason I invited Jacob tonight was to make you see there are other, much better options for you out there. That's all."

"But you have no right making that kind of decision for me! My God, Renee, can't you see how wrong this is? Have you completely lost your mind?" My voice cracked. "What kind of mother would play with her daughter's life like that? All I wanted was for you to accept that I love Edward and he loves me, but honestly, I don't care anymore. From now on, you just stay away from me. I mean it."

For a few seconds, she just stared at me with a doubtful expression. Then her face fell, as if she finally seemed to realize I was serious. She let out a snort, but suddenly there was uncertainty in her eyes. "You don't know what you're saying."

"I've never been more sure about anything." Tears were burning in my eyes, but I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of seeing them fall. I wanted her to think I was indifferent, that all of this wasn't really killing me inside. If I was going to walk away - and I was - then I would do so with my head held up high.

And I could only hope that - someday - my mother would see the errors of her ways. Maybe then she would regret that it had to end like this. But she would have no one to blame but herself.

I was done.

"If that's the way you want it - fine. Just take your _friend_," she nodded in the direction of the door, "and leave. I expect you to give me a call and let me know when you've come to your senses. And make sure you apologize to Jacob on your way out." She walked across the room, deliberately turning her back on me. "Good night, Isabella."

When it was clear to me that she wasn't going to say anything more, I shrugged and nodded in acceptance, thinking she didn't have to tell me twice. "Good bye, Renee," I told her icily and strode out of the kitchen without looking back once.

I was relieved to find Edward in the same room where I had left him, only I quickly realized he wasn't the only one. Jacob was still there as well, and the two of them appeared to be in the middle of some sort of conversation when I burst through the door. Edward immediately jumped up and hurried over to me, the concern written all over his face. "You all right, love? What happened?"

Waving my hand to indicate that it was a discussion for later, I turned to give Jacob an incredulous look. "Why are you still here?"

He got up as well, looking apologetic. "I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry about all this. Trust me - I never would've agreed to come here if I had known you were already in a relationship." He glanced at Edward before turning back to me, adding, "And I can assure you, this was every bit as awkward for me as it was for you."

I seriously doubted that, but decided to keep my opinion to myself. Hopefully I would never have to see Jacob again after tonight. "It's okay, you don't have to apologize. I blame my mother, not you." I paused. "So... I'd say it was a pleasure to meet you, but..." my voice trailed off and I blushed, not deliberately trying to be rude, but the whole incident seemed bizarre to me. I had no idea what else to say.

"Sure, sure, I get it." Jacob actually chuckled a little. "No offense taken. I'm just gonna go, and... well, to be honest, I think I'm in major need of some booze after this." He shook his head with a grin. "Edward - take care, man. It was nice talking to you. You two enjoy the rest of your evening." And with that he was gone.

I let out a deep sigh. "Edward, I want to go home." He opened his mouth, but I quickly held up a hand to stop him. "Can we please just go back to your place? Or if you'd rather just take me home-"

"My place it is. And you're staying with me. I'm not letting you out of my sight tonight." He shook his head, suddenly looking more than a little overwhelmed. "Just tell me one thing. Are you okay?"

I nodded automatically. Seeing the doubt in his eyes, I added, "Or at least I will be. I think." He slipped his arm around my shoulders and I leaned into him, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Please, just get me out of here."

Edward was more than happy to oblige, and less than twenty minutes later, we stepped inside his apartment. I shrugged out of my jacket and tossed it on a chair. "Do you have something to drink?" I asked hopefully as I slumped down on the couch.

"Sure." He offered me a sympathetic smile. "Water, soda, or something a little stronger?"

"Stronger, please." I let my head fall back against the cushion. "Edward, I realize you want to know what happened back at my mom's, and I will tell you everything, but can I just have a moment? Right now, I can't even think straight."

"Of course, sweetheart. Whatever you need." He watched me silently for a couple of seconds and then seemed to snap out of it. "I'll be right back. Anything else I can get you while I'm at it?" I shook my head. Edward left the room and returned a moment later with our drinks, a beer for him and something else for me.

I sniffed curiously at the contents in my glass before taking a small sip. At first I thought it was regular Coke but I realized the taste was different. "Dr. Pepper?"

"And a little vodka," he admitted with a shrug. "You said you needed something stronger, and I'm bound to agree. But you only get this one, unless you'll eat something. I don't want you to get sick."

I wasn't hungry, but then again, when was I ever? Deep down, I knew I should probably take my constant lack of hunger as a warning sign, but I didn't want to think about it right now. Instead I nodded in understanding and managed a weak smile. "Maybe I could eat a little something. You don't happen to have any ice-cream? Or cookies? Anything with chocolate in it?"

"Um..." For a moment he looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I've got both," he mumbled then, avoiding to meet my eyes. At first I couldn't understand what was bothering him, but then it hit me that he was embarrassed about admitting to have junk food at home. My heart broke a little for him. I never wanted him to feel bad.

"I wouldn't say no to some of that right now," I told him quietly. His expression changed and now he looked almost excited. I mentally cringed, thinking he must have been more worried about me than I realized if me being willing to scarf down some chocolate made him so happy.

He put a strand of hair behind my ear and ran his knuckles gently down my cheek. "I'll get you something, then," he promised softly. I gave him a grateful smile. After Edward had disappeared into the kitchen for the second time, I took another sip of my drink. It was cold and sweet, and I could just barely taste the alcohol. Unless I was being careful, I could easily see myself getting drunk on this stuff.

As I closed my eyes, the unpleasant memories of the evening came rushing back, and I felt a wave of sadness well up inside me. To be honest, I never thought it would actually come to this. The thought of cutting Renee out of my life seemed extreme to say the very least, but I couldn't see any other option. Tonight she had crossed the line, and I wasn't kidding when I told her I wouldn't forgive her.

I couldn't even imagine how Edward had felt when he saw Jacob and must have realized what was going on. It was no doubt humiliating for both of us, but something told me it had to be even worse for him. Renee might as well have told him straight out that he wasn't good enough for me. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if she had said something along those lines to him in the kitchen.

Oh God, what if she had? I felt a stab of pain in my chest when I considered the possibility. Just because Edward knew I loved him, he didn't automatically become immune to hurtful comments and insults like that. A choked sob escaped me. How could my mother be so cruel?

In that moment, I truly hated her. And I was overcome by a sense of total despair as I downed the rest of my drink before finally breaking down and succumbing to the tears.

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: I'm sure you're all curious about what Renee and Jacob said to Edward. Don't worry. Next chapter will be EPOV. <strong>


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

**Edward**

I had encouraged Bella to talk to her mother, assuring her I would be there to support her if that's what she wanted, and I meant it. But to be honest, I was a bit skeptical about the whole thing, or maybe 'suspicious' would be more accurate. For Bella's sake, I hoped I was wrong, but I had a bad feeling about this.

Maybe because I had been there the last time and seen first hand how callous and disrespectful Renee could be. Bella seemed more upset about the way her mom had been treating _me_, but as far as I was concerned, that was nothing. I was used to people showing signs of repulsion the first time they saw me, but at least Renee had kept her comments to a minimum.

In fact, she had acted mostly dismissive towards me and instead focused on provoking Bella until she snapped. What kind of person would do that to her own daughter? It just didn't make any sense to me. Renee claimed to care about Bella, but she didn't seem to have any problem walking all over her to get what she wanted. Frankly, it really pissed me off.

So, yeah, there was no way I'd let my girl go through this alone if I could help it. She had selflessly offered to stay with me for two days after I got out of the hospital, just to take care of me, and now I would hopefully be able to return the favor. Of course, I would have done it regardless. My love for Bella was unconditional and I would do anything to make her happy.

Which unfortunately included having dinner with her mother. I couldn't say I was having second thoughts, because I was doing it for her, but I would be lying if I said I was looking forward to it. I just hoped it would all be over quickly and - more importantly - without causing Bella more pain and distress.

Renee greeted us both when we arrived, but I didn't miss the way her eyes ran over me critically as she addressed me, "Edward. How nice to see you again."

_Yeah, right! Not very convincing._

I tried to push my uneasiness aside, not wanting her to know how uncomfortable she made me. The way I saw it, as long as I stayed calm and polite and didn't let her disapproval visibly affect me, then she wouldn't have the upper hand. So I met Renee's eyes and held her gaze as I thanked her for inviting me.

Bella tried to sound enthusiastic as she asked about the food, but I wasn't fooled by her attempt to act casual. When her mother asked me to help her with the wine and practically ordered Bella to go ahead into the other room, the coward in me briefly searched my mind for some excuse, but another part was actually a little relieved.

Maybe this was my chance to stand up for myself once and for all, convince Renee that I really belonged with her daughter. Not that I expected her to give me her blessing or anything, but at least I could make it clear to her that I wasn't going anywhere, no matter what she thought of me. I didn't need her acceptance, but I knew it was important to Bella. She needed her mother to respect her decisions.

However, I didn't get the chance to say anything, because Renee spoke up the moment we entered the kitchen - after making sure the door was closed behind her, "Edward, I'll get straight to the point. You care about Isabella very much, don't you?"

"Um, yeah, of course I do." I was a little taken aback by the question, but wasn't going to let the opportunity go to waste as I went on elaborating, "She means everything to me."

"I'm very glad to hear that." She went over to the fridge, opened it and pulled out a bottle of wine. "Then you wouldn't hesitate to put her happiness before your own?" She looked at me expectantly as she handed me the bottle, along with a cork-screw she found in a drawer.

I got a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean?" I asked warily, almost certain that I wouldn't like the answer. At the back of my mind, I was pretty sure I already knew what she was insinuating - that Bella would be happier without me in her life, but I refused to play into her hands and make it easier for her. She would have to say it out loud.

Renee let out an impatient sigh. "We're both adults here, Edward. Let's just be mature about this. Can you blame me for wanting to make sure my daughter is properly taken care of?"

"No..." I had frozen with the bottle in my hand, knowing I had to choose my words with caution. "But there are things in life that are more important than material matters. Besides, if you worry about-"

She didn't let me finish. "I'm not trying to offend you. Let me just ask you a question. If Isabella came to you one day and told you she had found love with someone else - her true soul mate - would you want to stand in the way of her happiness? Or would you be the bigger man and step aside? If she asked you to let her go, would you?"

I involuntarily flinched at her seemingly innocent use of the words 'the bigger man', almost certain she had done it on purpose. There had been no open criticism from her regarding my weight so far, but her eyes were saying it all. To be honest, it didn't come as a surprise to me that her opinion hadn't changed since the first time she saw me.

In her mind, she was most likely still referring to me as 'the fat kid'. Yeah, I hadn't forgotten about that.

I felt a lump in my throat and swallowed hard, trying to wrap my mind around what she was asking me. It would kill me to ever walk away from Bella, but I knew that I would, if that's what she really wanted, because Bella's happiness was much more important to me than my own. And I realized that was exactly what Renee wanted to hear.

That's why I also knew there was no way in hell I would give in to her and say those words. "Look, Renee, I will gladly do everything in my power to make sure Bella is happy and never has to want for anything of importance, for as long as she'll have me. No offense, but that's all you need to know."

Her eyes narrowed and I could tell she was not pleased with my response. "Are you implying that I'm overstepping my bounds as Isabella's mother? Let me get this straight, Edward. I have every right to be concerned about the welfare of my only child."

I had tried to remain civil up until this point, but my patience with this woman was running out. "Bella is old enough to make her own decisions. What she needs from you is your support, and if you can't give her that, then you need to stand back and trust that she knows what she's doing. Otherwise you'll just end up pushing her away."

She scoffed. "Who are you to stand there and act all high-and-mighty? I wanted to do this the easy way, but if you insist on-"

That was how far she got before she was cut off by a furious cry from the other room, _"Mother!"_

I nearly dropped the bottle I had almost forgotten I was still holding. Quickly putting it down on the kitchen counter, I then made a beeline for the door, only to stop in my tracks when Renee spoke up behind me, "Oh, yeah, I invited someone. I wanted to give them a moment to get to know each other before we walked in and interrupted."

_What? The? Fuck?_

I stared at her in disbelief, opened my mouth and then closed it again as my brain had suddenly become incapable of forming coherent thoughts.

She had _invited_ someone?

Shaking my head in an attempt to clear it, I then spun around and rushed out of the kitchen in search for my girl. I didn't know where the dining room was, but luckily it wasn't hard to find, seeing how there was only one other door right across the room and it was slightly open. To my relief, my eyes instantly landed on Bella.

That was when I realized Renee had followed, because Bella practically exploded, yelling at her mother for setting her up with a total stranger. My mind finally registered the dark-haired guy, his eyes wide as he gaped at my girl, and a wave of fury welled up inside me. My arms were securely locked around Bella before I even realized I had moved and I gave him the most threatening glare I could muster.

_Bella was mine! _

I was definitely not thinking rationally in that moment - the only thing keeping me from punching the poor fucker's light out right there in the kitchen was the trembling girl in my arms. Although one look at Bella's face told me she was shaking with anger and not fear. She was beyond pissed off, and it was all directed at Renee.

That made two of us. Or possibly three, as the other guy didn't exactly look happy with the situation either. "I thought you said your daughter was single," he mumbled, looking both confused and annoyed. Bella continued her rant, arms flailing angrily in all directions, although she thankfully made no motion to pull out of my grip. If anything, she pressed her body further into my embrace.

I was very tempted to yell and curse myself, and I was all for Bella giving Renee a piece of her mind. When I demanded to know how she could do something like this, she once again gave me some bullshit about looking out for Bella, which was absolutely ridiculous if you asked me. My girl obviously agreed with me, not leaving any room for protests as she commanded her mother to follow her into the kitchen.

The most uncomfortable silence filled the room as the strange guy and I stared at each other for a moment. Then he cleared his throat. "Okay, this is awkward. Hi. I'm Jacob."

I looked at him blankly for a second before snapping out of the stupor and plopped down on a chair with a sigh. "Edward," I mumbled.

"And just to verify..." He gave me a questioning look, scanning my face for confirmation, "You're Isabella's boyfriend?"

"Bella," I corrected without thinking. "She hates when people call her Isabella. And yes, I'm her fucking boyfriend. You have a problem with that?"

"I didn't say that. Jeez!" He quickly raised his hands in surrender. "No need to bite my head off. Believe me, I'm as miffed about this as you are. You really think I'd agree to go on a blind date with a chick I knew was already taken?" When I just looked at him with a raised brow, he rolled his eyes. "That was a rhetorical question. I'm not a complete ass."

For a moment, I actually felt a bit guilty for automatically assuming the worst of him, but in my defense, for all I knew, he could have very well been plotting with Renee to steal my Bella away from me. It did seem a little extreme, but I was suspicious by nature. Trust didn't come easily for me, as I had learned the hard way how cruel people could be.

Jacob went on, obviously sensing my doubt, "I swear, man, I had no idea. You're saying she actually knew you and Isab..." he stopped and corrected himself, "...you and Bella were seeing each other, and still tried to set her up with me? That's fucking twisted! What's her problem, anyway?"

"Apparently, _I'm_ her problem," I muttered. Then my eyes widened and I quickly looked away in shame, having not intended to say that out loud. Way to make myself look like even more of a loser in front of Jacob. Now he would probably respond with some snarky comment about Bella being better off with someone like him. While he seemed genuine so far, I wasn't ready to give him the benefit of doubt.

But to my surprise, he just sounded confused. "Why?" My discomfort must have shown because he waved his hand in dismissal. "Sorry, none of my business. But I don't get it. So what if she doesn't like you - Bella's an adult. Talk about degrading!" He shook his head in annoyance. "It really sucks, man. I'm sorry. I hope she really lets her mom have it."

"So do I," I grumbled in agreement.

Then I glanced at him, finally starting to accept the possibility that he was being sincere. He could have been a total jerk about this, but he had been more than cool so far. In fact, not once had he even looked at me funny, let alone treated me like a freak, which was normally the first reaction I got from people. "Sorry you had to get involved in this shit," I added after a moment.

"No worries - I'm sure I'll get over it." He let out a snort of amusement. "Feel almost sorry for Renee, though. Wouldn't wanna be her in her shoes right now. Bella sure seems quite... feisty."

I couldn't help but chuckle, thinking he was not wrong. "She's pretty awesome," I agreed. "I just hope..." I stopped before I had said too much, shaking my head to clear it. Although Jacob seemed like a decent person, he was still a stranger, and I wasn't about to share anything too personal.

It wasn't like we were actually becoming friends or anything. I figured the odds I would ever see him again were pretty slim, which was probably just as well.

He was right about Bella, though - she was fully entitled to be pissed off right now. And she wasn't the only one. The more it all started to sink in, the angrier I became. My feelings for Renee had quickly changed from mild aversion and turned into loathing. She clearly didn't care who she stepped on to get her way, and that included her own daughter.

The thing was, had she only treated Bella differently - better - then I would probably have overlooked her disapproval of me. I had never been able to blame people for being repulsed by my very existence, even though it hurt to see the disgust in their eyes. I knew I wasn't like them, and I never really thought I had the right to let that fact upset me. After all, it wasn't their fault I looked the way I did.

But Bella obviously saw something in me that other people didn't. She actually saw the person I was inside, underneath all those extra pounds, and she loved me simply for being me. I couldn't fault Renee for wanting nothing but the best for her daughter, but her methods were downright insulting. Even a total stranger like Jacob could see that.

I snapped out of my thoughts when Bella returned, her eyes frantically searching mine, and I instantly forgot all about Jacob as I hurriedly made my way over to her and asked if she was all right. But instead of responding, she brushed me off and turned her attention to Jacob, and I felt a little bad for him when I realized she was choosing to take her frustration out on him rather than me.

Much to his credit, he once again remained unfazed, even going as far as apologizing for being there in the first place, without being humble about it. If anything, he seemed to be taking the whole incident in stride. Still, I would lie if I said I wasn't relieved when he finally left.

I felt a pang in my heart when Bella looked at me with big, pleading eyes and all but begged me to take her back to my place. It didn't take a genius to figure out that, whatever had been said between her and Renee, it had affected her deeply. Even though she didn't want to admit it, she was visibly upset - and rightfully so. I just wished I knew how to make things better.

Once we were back at my apartment, I made her a pretty strong drink, thinking she could probably use something to help her settle down. Then she asked for chocolate, making me practically ecstatic, because I had been hesitant to even suggest she would eat something, fully convinced she would flat out refuse if I brought it up.

I had been concerned about her obvious food issues, much more so than I was letting on. Bella had assured me she was doing better, that she barely ever felt the need to throw up after a meal these days, and it wasn't that I didn't believe her, but seeing how she hardly ate anything to begin with, I figured there couldn't really be much to get rid of.

And I was absolutely certain that starving yourself was every bit as bad as binging and purging.

I didn't like to think about it too much, though, mostly because I knew what it was like to let the food control your life. Of course, my problem was the opposite of Bella's - I couldn't _stop_ eating. And unlike her, I had never attempted to do anything about it. The mere thought of setting my foot in a gym filled me with dread, and I just barely had the energy to go for a walk, so running was also out of the question.

And to be perfectly honest, I had already deemed myself a lost cause. What was the point in trying to lose weight when I knew I didn't have enough will-power and confidence to make it last? I would just end up disappointed in the long run. At least now I could get the bittersweet comfort only the food would bring me. The shame was just something I had to live with.

Deep down, though, I couldn't help but wonder if maybe I was lying to myself. And the feeling seemed to grow a little stronger each day. Because something had changed since I met Bella. Somewhere along the way, eating a mass amount of food had stopped being the only thing that would provide me with enough peace and comfort to get through the day.

I had something more to live for now. Or to be more accurate - some_one_. It wasn't just about me anymore. Even though I had my family and even a few friends, I had always felt like an outsider. Always alone, even when I was surrounded by people. A stranger in my own family. And now, all of a sudden, everything was different.

Because of her. Bella. And I'd be damned if I was going to let anyone take her away from me. I didn't care if it was her mother, my sister, or the fucking devil himself - Bella was mine and I was hers, in every sense of the word. We belonged together, even though it had taken quite some time for her to convince me I was in fact worthy of her.

She had done so much for me, and a part of me still doubted I would ever be able to truly repay her. But then again, maybe I didn't need to worry so much. I knew there was no way I could've handled the aftermath of the accident as well as I had if Bella hadn't been there for me, and if me being there for her tonight only made her feel half as good, then at least it was a start.

I was pretty confident, maybe even hopeful, when I returned a moment later, half a pint of Rocky Road in one hand and a bag of Oreo's in the other. But the second my eyes landed on Bella, curled up on the couch with tears streaming down her cheeks, I knew I had been jumping too soon. My girl was hurting, badly, and it would take a lot more than my presence and some comfort food to make it all right.

How I could think, even for a moment, that something so simple would be enough was now beyond me. Seeing Bella cry like that was just heartbreaking. And I didn't know what to do.

Somehow, my feet carried me over the floor and across the room before my mind had even registered that I had moved. "Bella..." I whispered, kneeling at her side and hesitantly taking her trembling hands in mine, silently begging her to tell me what she needed. Her small body shook as a shuddering sob escaped her throat and she reached out for me without a word.

Needless to say, I had her wrapped up in my arms within a second, hugging her close as she collapsed against me, sobbing. "I'm s-so mad at her, Edward," she choked out, clinging to me. "I'm furious! I told her I didn't want her in my life anymore. I-I cut her out, just like you did with Alice."

"I'm so sorry, love." I rested my cheek against the top of her head, gently stroking her hair. "I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now."

Bella pulled back a little, her tear-filled eyes finding mine. "She's my mom, Edward. And Alice is your sister. Our families are suppose to support us no matter what, but all they do is hurting us." She inhaled shakily before burying her face in my chest, her words muffled as she went on, "Why are they doing this? They should be happy for us. Why are they hurting us like this?"

"I don't know, Bella," I told her helplessly, because I didn't have any good answer. "Maybe their real issues aren't really with us," I offered weakly. It was a lame explanation, but it was the only one I could think of. Because it didn't make any sense to me, either.

"Maybe." She sniffled a little and pulled back again. "In that case, it's totally unfair. They have no right to take their stupid issues out on us. We deserve better." I didn't argue with that. Instead I just reached out to wipe away her tears. She let out a trembling breath. "God, I hate that I'm crying over her. She's not worth it."

I shook my head in objection. "Never apologize for crying when you're hurting, love. I'd be more worried if this _didn't_ upset you."

She sighed. "When I realized what was happening, I got so mad I couldn't even think straight. I'm sorry for leaving you alone with Jacob like that. Oh, God, Jacob..." She groaned. "The poor guy was an innocent in all this and I acted like a real bitch. I was so busy trying to get him to leave that I never stopped to think about how embarrassing this had to be for him as well." Her voice became agitated again.

"Shh, it's okay, love." I pulled her back into my arms and rubbed small circles on her back, hoping to soothe her. "Jacob understands. He doesn't blame you for reacting the way you did. And neither do I."

"But..." she started, but then fell silent. For a few minutes, we just sat like that. As I listened to Bella's breathing, unsteady and ragged at first and then slowly becoming calmer, I finally realized something. I couldn't protect her from the pain in the world, any more than she could protect me. We would try, though, even when we knew from the beginning that it was fruitless, and that's what really mattered.

Because no one would go through life without stumbling every once in a while. It wasn't possible to stop shit from happening around us, but we could do our best to take care of each other. I couldn't always take away Bella's pain, but I could be there for her when she needed me, make her see she was not alone. See that no matter what, she was loved.

I loved Bella, and she loved me. And I had to believe that was enough.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

**Bella**

Over the next couple of days, I became more and more confident that I would be able to keep Renee out of my life without too much regret. Although I didn't like to admit it - she was after all still my mother - I was actually relieved when the days went by without her constant phone calls and unannounced visits.

Back in High School, all my friends used to think Renee was the coolest mom ever. I knew some of them were even jealous of me because of her - she acted more like a big sister than a parent and she always dressed in the latest fashion. Unlike most parents, she encouraged me to throw parties on weekends - after getting to see and approve of the guest list.

The good thing was I didn't have to worry about her embarrassing me when I had friends over, because they were all swooning over her. The bad thing? Sometimes it seemed like said friends were more interested in my mom's company than mine. Renee worked at a beauty salon, and they were all eager for helpful tips and free samples, something she was more than willing to provide them with.

On some level, I never felt comfortable around her, which was an awful thing to say since, again, she was my mom. But she was just so controlling, so demanding, and not just in the normal parental way. She wanted me to be perfect at all times, physically attractive and having a wide and busy social life, and more than once I felt like she was trying to relive her youth through me.

But it was more than that. Wealth and success was everything to her, and she would seem downright obsessed when it came to how other people saw her - people who she considered important, that was. She also had a very firm opinion about what was right and socially acceptable. And, of course, what was not.

As I was growing up, I tried to copy her lifestyle, knowing full well that it was what she expected and wanted. Of course, to a certain degree, I had to admit I enjoyed it. It was fun to look pretty and I liked having a wardrobe full of expensive clothes, as well as a bathroom full of make-up and beauty products.

But somewhere along the way, it passed the point where it was just funny and enjoyable. It became stressful. And I knew that it was because of Renee and her expectations of me. There were times when I wished that I could get up in the morning and just throw on the nearest pair of jeans and a regular t-shirt, pull my hair up in a messy ponytail and simply forgo the make-up, just for one day.

Renee would've never let me leave the house like that.

With all this in mind, it shouldn't have come as a shock to me that she couldn't accept Edward. She had always huffed at people who stuck out from the norm, and she never had any problem voicing her opinion, nor did she see anything wrong with talking about other people behind their backs. All done most tastefully and discreetly, of course. Her words, not mine.

Edward didn't deserve that. Hell, no one did. I knew I should have put my foot down a long time ago.

So, no, I couldn't find it in me to regret my decision of cutting Renee out of my life. If anything, I almost felt bad for _not_ feeling bad about it. I was upset, yes. But more because I was angry and appalled by my mother's crude behavior than anything else. Did I wish it didn't have to come to this? Sure. But I knew it was the right thing to do.

I couldn't - and _wouldn't_ - let her do this to me any longer. It was my life, and I intended to start living it.

To prove and celebrate my new-found independence, I thought it might be a good idea for me and Edward to do something fun with Rosalie and Emmett, like a night on the town. I knew Edward wouldn't be comfortable going to a night club or something like that, so I suggested dinner and a movie, to which he happily agreed.

Rose sounded excited when I called her, and I got the feeling she was genuinely happy to hear from me. We decided to meet up Saturday night, at seven-thirty outside one of the local bistros. I told Rose I was looking forward to it, and I meant it. It felt like a long time since I had last made any plans to spend time with my friends, and I had to admit I had come to include Rose in that category.

Having Edward there as well just felt like a wonderful bonus.

As for my old friends, I had been hesitant to bring Edward to meet them. Okay, so I would gladly introduce him as my boyfriend to anyone, anytime, but they were all too much like Renee, and I knew Edward wouldn't feel comfortable in their company. And to be perfectly honest, neither would I. I hadn't talked to any of my so called friends in weeks, and I couldn't say I missed them.

But deep down, I still sort of wished any of them had bothered to call me, just to check in. Sure, I had gotten a few text messages from Jess, informing me of the latest party and asking me what I was going to wear, but after I had replied and said I wasn't going, there had been nothing but silence. So much for those years of friendship. It was all so shallow. For God's sake, we were not in High School anymore.

Of course, even back then, I wouldn't say I was all that close to her. We would hang out after school or go shopping together, but we rarely shared any deeper conversations. I was known for being a 'social butterfly', but what everybody failed to see was that it was all just an act. I could be in the middle of a room full of people, and still feel completely alone.

More than once, I had been convinced there was something wrong with me for that very reason. But then came a time when I just stopped to care. And now I had Edward. We hadn't been together all that long, but I knew without doubt that my feelings for him were real. For what felt like the first time ever, I was happy. And I wasn't going to let Renee or anyone else ruin it.

When Saturday came, Edward picked me up in his Volvo and drove us across town to the restaurant where we were going to meet Rose and Emmett. As it turned out, the two of them were already there waiting for us. Emmett grinned widely when he spotted us, and to my surprise, Rose stepped over to give me a quick hug. "Hey, guys." She smiled at me and Edward. "We were a bit early. Let's go inside."

Since Emmett had already made a reservation for us, we didn't have to wait in line to get a table, but it wouldn't have made much of a difference since the place was barely half full. I had never been there before, but Edward - who had eaten there several times - assured me the food was really good.

I firmly told myself not to fret about the whole eating thing, and I really believed I'd be able to handle it better this time. As long as I remained calm and focused, it would be okay. I was going to order something I knew I'd enjoy, and I would not put any unnecessary pressure on myself. Tonight was about relaxing and having fun. My silent pep talk must have worked, because I wasn't even nervous.

Our waiter quickly showed up to take our drink orders and handed each of us a menu. Emmett eagerly clapped his hands together and happily stated that he planned on getting drunk tonight. Rosalie smacked his arm and ducked her head behind her meny, muttering something I couldn't make out. But Edward threw his head back and laughed.

"You wouldn't think so by looking at him, but Emmett's a real lightweight," he explained to me with an amused look on his face. "One beer and he's slurring. After two, he's practically wasted. It's hilarious."

Rose rolled her eyes. "I bet you wouldn't say that if you were the one who had to haul his drunken ass home."

I shook my head in astonishment and couldn't help but giggle. "Really, Emmett? Can't hold your liquor?" I had to admit it seemed really hard to believe, seeing how the guy was over six feet tall and built like a professional athlete. But then again, I knew looks could be deceiving.

Emmett snorted and puffed his chest out in mock conceit. "Bet I can drink _you_ under the table, little one." He winked at me and I didn't miss the twinkle in his eyes. "What do you say, Bella? Are you brave enough to challenge me?"

"Not gonna happen, Em," Edward told him firmly before I got the chance to say anything. Then he must have seen the look on my face, because his expression instantly turned sheepish and he hurried to add, "What I meant to say was, I'll just let Bella speak for herself."

I smiled dryly and patted his leg, as if to say 'good boy'. Then I turned back to Emmett with a grin. "Sorry, Em. I prefer to just sit back and laugh at you when you make a fool of yourself." He pretended to be offended for a moment and then shrugged it off.

As we waited for our food, we all fell into an easy and comfortable conversation. It was so different from the last time we had dinner together, and I'm pretty sure the rest of them felt the same way. There was one subject none of us would touch, though; one name that never came up. It was like an unspoken rule - no mentioning of Alice.

I was more than okay with that.

It didn't take long for the food to arrive. I had chosen between the mushroom ravioli and the seafood salad, finally settling on the salad. Rosalie had decided on pasta with carbonara sauce, and both Edward and Emmett had ordered extra large steaks with fries. It all smelled really good, and tasted even better.

Whether it was Edward's presence or the fact that I felt really comfortable in Emmett's and Rose's company, I didn't know, but I managed to eat everything on my plate without a problem, and I even agreed to split a small slice of cheesecake with Rose for dessert.

Emmett ordered a piece of cherry pie, but Edward insisted on skipping the dessert. I was a little surprised by his decision and I could tell I was not the only one. He claimed to already be full, but I couldn't help but wonder if that was the real reason, remembering the very first time he and I went out to eat together, at McDonald's, and he couldn't bring himself to dig in on his food because he was ashamed.

But there were no obnoxious teenagers here tonight. No one had as much as looked at him funny since we arrived, for which I was beyond grateful. I figured it had to be a huge relief for him as well. It would be just horrible if tonight turned into another disaster. But thankfully there had been no awkward incidents so far, and it was obvious that we all were having a good time.

So maybe there was no need for me to be concerned. Maybe he just didn't feel like having dessert tonight, and if that was the case, it was totally up to him. But I just didn't want him to feel like he couldn't eat whatever he wanted on special occasions. I wasn't going to say anything, though. The last thing I wanted was to make him uncomfortable. Especially since things were going so well.

"This is so good!" Emmett practically moaned around the bites as he was shoving pie into his mouth with an incredible speed, and I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from giggling when the words did in fact come out somewhat slurred. He had just finished his first beer. Edward hadn't been joking.

The cheesecake was so good, I actually found myself wishing I had gotten a whole piece for myself instead of having to share with Rose. A part of me kept waiting for the usual guilt to set in, as always when I had allowed myself to eat something even remotely unhealthy, but so far there was nothing. I didn't want to get my hopes up, though, thinking I had miraculously been cured, just like that.

Surely it couldn't be that simple. I just hoped it wouldn't hit me with full force later.

Edward noticed my glass was almost empty and asked me if I wanted some more wine. I hesitated a little, but then agreed to having one more glass. Unlike Emmett, I had no desire to get sloshed, but I decided I wouldn't mind a nice buzz. Besides, it wasn't like I was the only one drinking tonight.

We ended up ordering another round of drinks; beer for the guys, a martini for Rose, and white wine for me. I resisted the sudden urge to get another slice of cheesecake, although I had to admit it was tempting. Instead I sipped on my wine and glanced at Edward, smiling as our eyes met. I mouthed the words, 'I love you,' and watched how his grin threatened to split his face in two.

"You two are so sweet, I'm getting a toothache just looking at you," Rosalie teased, snickering when I blushed at her comment. She turned to Emmett and nudged him expectantly. "Right, Em? Aren't they just adorable?"

I held my breath, fully expecting him to respond by making some kind of sarcastic joke, because that would be just like him. But instead he nodded vigorously, looking between me and Edward with a dead serious expression on his face. "Oh, yeah," he slurred, taking another gulp of his beer. "You guys are perfect together. And you," he pointed his finger at Edward, "better hold on to her, or I'll kick your ass!"

Edward rolled his eyes. "You can try," he replied dryly, no doubt used to Emmett's slightly drunken threats and clearly not taking him seriously. Then he looked at me and gave me the sweetest smile as he continued, his eyes locked on me the whole time, even though he was obviously still talking to Emmett, "Rest assured, though, I fully plan on keeping her. I have no intention of letting her go."

Then he leaned in to press the most tender kiss to my cheek. Yes, I melted into a puddle of goo. So sue me.

Rose nodded in approval. "Well said." Then she frowned and looked at Emmett again, eyes narrowing. "How come you never say things like that about me? I hope you haven't started taking me for granted, Emmett McCarty." There was a teasing note in her voice, but I got the feeling she was only half joking.

Emmett's eyes widened a bit in alarm and he cast a brief look at Edward, as if asking for help. But Edward raised both hands in protest and shook his head. "Forget it, man, you're on your own. And if I were you, I'd choose my next words very carefully."

Sighing in defeat, Emmett turned back to his girlfriend. "Come on, pumpkin, you know I would never take you for granted. You're the love of my life, my second half. The one thing I can't live without. Like the yin to my yang. The flame to my candle. The remote to my Wii. The ice-cream to my pie, the bun to my hot-dog... what?" His expression turned into confusion when he saw Edward shake his head.

"Word of advice? Quit while you're ahead." Edward looked both amused and exasperated at the same time.

"Huh." Emmett looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe I should've just stopped after the love-of-my-life part?" He gave Rose a questioning look. She just rolled her eyes and nodded in agreement before taking a large swig of her drink. And I could do nothing but laugh.

Maybe I wouldn't use the word 'adorable' to describe the two of them together, but I'd say they seemed pretty damn perfect for each other as well. When I told them as much, I watched how their faces instantly softened and they looked at each other with so much love and adoration that I almost felt like Edward and I were suddenly imposing on a very private moment.

"Okay, enough of this." Emmett cleared his throat a few seconds later, looking a little embarrassed. "I need more beer. Edward?"

"What?" I saw how Edward struggled to keep a straight face. "I'm not giving you mine."

"That's not what I...!" Emmett stopped as he noticed the amused look on Edward's face and mock glared at him. "That's real cute. Make fun of the drunk guy. Just because of that, you're buying the next round." He quickly downed what was left in his glass. Then he shook his head, looking slightly impressed. "Man, this shit's strong!"

I had already decided two glasses of wine was enough for me, so I was nursing it to make it last a little longer. But that wasn't the only reason I was drinking so slowly. Because of my tiny body, the alcohol would go straight to my head, only I doubted I'd be able to handle it as well as Emmett. The last thing I needed was to get sick because I'd been stupid enough to drink too much too fast.

"Bella, I'm really glad you called the other day," Rose told me as the guys continued their teasing banter. It hit me how nice it was to see Edward so relaxed and happy. Watching him joke around with Emmett like this was great - it seemed like he didn't have a care in the world.

I forced myself to snap out of it and turned my attention to Rosalie. "So am I. Although I have to admit I was a little nervous at first, because, well... you know." I shrugged, hoping she would just nod and let it go. She didn't.

Instead she shook her head, looking a little confused. "Why? I already told you I'd like the four of us to do something together. You didn't think I was serious?"

"No, that's not it. I just..." Glancing at Edward, I realized he and Emmett were in the middle of some discussion, not really paying attention to us. I held back a sigh, kind of wishing I hadn't said anything, because it was bound to get awkward. But at the same time, it was starting to get mentally tiring to keep tiptoeing around the subject. So I gave up. "I sort of felt like I was stealing you away. From _her_."

The knowing look on her face told me I didn't have to elaborate, that she was well aware of who I was referring to. Opening her mouth, she then closed it again, as if trying to find the right words. Finally she looked me right in the eyes, leaning a little closer so the others wouldn't hear. "Bella, I don't want you to think like that. I can see why you might feel that way, but I'm a grown-up. I make my own decisions."

"I know. I didn't mean it like that." I felt a bit stupid for not expressing myself better. Surely Rosalie never had that problem. "Look, I feel bad just talking about this. Like I'm doing something wrong."

"You're not," she assured me. "Trust me, we all feel like that. Why do you think everyone refuses to acknowledge the big elephant in the room? We prefer not to think about it, but we know it's there. We all feel bad. It doesn't mean we should, though. None of us here tonight did anything wrong. That includes you."

I suspected she was trying to make me feel better, but I also had a feeling she was being sincere. It felt good to know she was on my side. Of course, she did tell me once that she wasn't taking sides, but it seemed like things had changed quite a bit since then. I found myself wondering when was the last time she had even talked to Alice, but I didn't want to ask.

"You know, maybe it's better this way," Rose went on, thoughtfully. "She obviously has some serious issues, and she can't start working on them before she realizes what they are. I'd be happy to be there for her and help in any way I can - once she figures it out - but she's not there yet. Hopefully this is the wake-up call she needs."

I nodded slowly, although I had my doubts. "What about your brother? How does he feel about all this?"

Her expression changed. Suddenly she looked sad. "Jasper and I don't see eye to eye on this. He keeps saying I don't understand, that I don't know Alice the way he does and therefor I have no idea what she's going through."

"What _she's_ going through?" I asked incredulously, forgetting to be quiet as I clenched my fists in anger. Then I realized Edward and Emmett had stopped talking and were now looking between Rose and me. My cheeks flushed and I mumbled a 'sorry'.

"Bella..." Edward sighed and reached for my hand. "It's okay, sweetheart. We can talk about it if you want."

Truthfully, I didn't. Not really, anyway. But at the same time... I just didn't know. Giving his hand a little squeeze, I then made my decision and shook my head. "No, really, I'm sorry. We're having such a good time tonight, I don't want to bring anyone down. Let's just change the subject."

Much to my relief, they all agreed. Emmett put his empty glass down - a little harder than necessary - checked his watch and straightened up in his seat. "Hey, the movie starts in about an hour. It's not far, we can just walk, but I wanna buy candy and popcorn so we might as well get the check so we can leave."

Edward was quick to nod in agreement, but then something seemed to occur to him and he grimaced. "Emmett, we just ate."

"So?" Emmett looked at him like he had just grown a second head.

After leaving the restaurant - the guys insisted on splitting the check between the two of them and pay for me and Rose, to which I protested weakly and she didn't - we went straight to the movie theater. Emmett and Edward went to get some snacks and drinks for all of us to share while Rose and I waited for them to return.

We were just talking about movies and actors in general when I happened to look up, searching the crowd for the guys. The second I spotted them, I knew something was wrong. My eyes widened as I saw Emmett try to launch himself at some guy I had never seen before. He would have succeeded, too, had Edward not been holding him back.

"Rose!" I gasped, running off towards them without waiting for her to follow. As soon as I reached them, I tugged gently on Edward's arm, my eyes darting between him and a very angry - and still kind of drunk - Emmett. "What's going on?" I asked warily.

"I'm gonna kick the motherfucker's ass, that's what's going on," Emmett growled, glaring furiously at the strange guy standing with his arms crossed over his chest a few feet away. Another guy, who I could only assume was a friend, stood beside him, looking somewhat uncomfortable.

"Give it your best shot, tough guy!" the first guy taunted, laughing and elbowing his friend in the side, clearly not discouraged by the lack of response. "What are you gonna do? Have your buddy sit on me?"

I instantly saw red, although I didn't realize my grip on Edward's arm had tightened until he turned to look at me, a pained look on his face. Before I could say anything, he turned back to Emmett. "Just let it go, man. He's not worth it."

"You heard what he said, Edward!" Emmett protested angrily. "It was fucking uncalled for, and if you think I'm just gonna stand back and let him get away with it, you're crazy!"

"Emmett, let's just go," Rosalie tried, giving the other guy a death glare before turning back to her boyfriend. "I'm not missing the movie because of some pathetic loser."

I wondered what had happened in the first place to cause Emmett to react so strongly, although I suspected it had to do with Edward. I couldn't be a hundred percent certain, but his hurt expression, along with his defeated posture, spoke volumes. Well, if that was the case, I wasn't going to hold Emmett back. In fact, I would gladly help him.

Emmett must have seen the look on my face because he nodded, as if he had read my mind. Then his eyes darkened again, and I knew he was not going to let this go. And the other guy seemed to be either too cocky or too stupid to walk away. That was when I realized this would most likely turn into a fight - right here in the middle of the movie theater.

_Oh crap!_


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

**Bella**

Emmett's mind was set and he wasn't backing down. I couldn't say I blamed him, but deep down I knew violence wasn't the answer. This was bound to end badly. Both Edward and Rose had tried to talk him out of it, but so far he wouldn't budge. And the idiot who had started all this remained where he was, a cocky grin plastered to his face as he clearly tried to stare Emmett down.

He wanted a fight, that much was obvious, and I found myself wondering if he had provoked the guys in the first place for that very reason. If that was the case, then all the more reason not to give in. At least that's what the rational part of me was thinking. But there was also a part of me that wanted to see this moron get what he deserved.

"Emmett, don't be stupid." Rosalie was getting upset. "You're gonna get us all kicked out of the movie theater. Just turn around and walk away." It was like he didn't even hear her. She threw her arms up in frustration before giving Edward a pleading look. "Do something! He's not listening to me."

"You think I haven't already tried?" Edward muttered, but turned back to Emmett with a sigh. "Em? This is fucking ridiculous. Rose is right. Besides, we don't wanna have to bail you out of jail." His voice was flat, void of emotion. I slipped my hand into his, squeezing it softly. He glanced at me and I could feel the tension coming off him.

Suddenly I was beyond pissed off. And I'd had enough.

"Just who do you think you are?" I asked the guy angrily, sick of seeing the pathetic smirk on his face. "Are you stupid or something? We came here to watch a movie and have a good time, and some brainless _moron_," I looked him right in the eyes, "decided it would be funny to insult a couple of guys he doesn't even know. But look around you - nobody's laughing! So just get the hell away from here!"

For a brief moment, his grin faltered and he actually looked taken aback by my outburst. Relief washed over me as I thought he would finally take the hint and leave.

But then the smirk was back. He ignored my demand and turned back to Emmett. "Looks like the bitch is a bit touchy. Quick to jump to your defense. That's interesting. Tell me, tough guy, which one of you are fucking her, huh? You or the fat-ass? Or do you just take turns?" He barked out an obnoxious laugh.

Things happened so quickly after that, I barely got the chance to react. Before my mind had even registered the movement, Edward had already pushed his way past Emmett and slammed the guy into the wall behind him. Then he pulled his fist back and punched him straight in the face.

I could tell he wasn't going to stop there, but Emmett finally snapped out of it and dashed forward, clearly intent on delivering a few blows himself, which caused the second guy to react and jump in. Now they were two against two, and I started to panic as I realized things had just gone from bad to worse. I cast a helpless look at Rose, who appeared to be just as stunned as I was.

Then we both simultaneously started yelling at them to stop, wisely staying at a safe distance, but neither Emmett nor Edward paid any attention to our pleading cries. I was terrified one - or both - of them would get hurt, but I also feared someone would call for security. But so far, none of the people passing by seemed willing to interfere, even though some were 'brave' enough to stop and watch the fight.

Stupid cowards!

All of a sudden, an angry voice called out, "Quil! Embry! What the fuck, guys? Knock it off!" A third man, who seemed to have appeared from nowhere, roughly forced himself in between the four guys and firmly pushed his friends - or whatever they were - back, all the while muttering obscenities. It took a moment but then the two of them - who I still referred to as the brainless morons - actually stepped back.

One of them had a bloody nose, the other a split lip. My eyes instantly went to Edward in alarm, but thankfully he seemed to be mostly unharmed. As Rose and I rushed over to them, though, I noticed both he and Emmett looked slightly dazed, blinking in confusion and staring at the strange man who had stepped in and interrupted the fight.

Now he let out a sigh and turned to Emmett, who happened to be standing closest, and gave him a somewhat cautious look. "Hey, man, mind telling me what the fuck just happened?" I noted with relief that the crowd was already breaking up and the people who had been watching the fight were quickly losing interest now when it seemed to be over.

Quil or Embry - I didn't know which one was who and I didn't care - puffed out his chest and straightened his jacket. "Chill out, dude, we had everything under control." The look he received from the new guy actually made him take a step back, and he cleared his throat. "Just saying," he mumbled, looking at his friend for support. The other guy just looked annoyed.

"Well, your _pal_ over there," Emmett nodded towards the guy who had called me a bitch, "thought he could get away with insulting my friend and his girlfriend for no reason." His voice was hard, his eyes still cold.

"Really?" The new guy looked frustrated - but not all that surprised - as he turned to the 'pal' in question. "Sounds like you owe these guys an apology, Quil."

"Yeah, right!" Quil snorted. "You must be high, man."

Emmett took a threatening step forward. "I give you two seconds to get the hell out of my sight before I knock your fucking teeth out. Trust me, asshole, I won't let anyone stop me next time."

Quil opened his mouth, no doubt about to object, but Embry had obviously had enough. "Let's go, man," he muttered. It took a moment but then Quil finally gave in with an eye-roll. Although he didn't seem to be in too much of a hurry as he sauntered off, Embry in tow, and for a little while there, I almost thought Emmett would run after and carry out his threat. To be honest, I wouldn't put it past him.

"Look, I..." the strange guy started, only to stop and do a double take as his eyes finally landed on Edward. "Hey, I know you! Edward, right?"

I could have slapped myself for not putting the pieces together and recognizing him sooner, but in my defense, my mind had been a bit occupied. Of course, it could also be because I had done my best to mentally block everything about that particular night from my memory. Well, at least everything up until the point where Edward and I walked out of my mother's house.

Edward nodded now, and I could see the recognition on his face as well. "Right," he mumbled, somewhat warily. "Jacob. Didn't expect to run into you again so soon."

"Yeah." Jacob's eyes fell on me and he hesitated a little before nodding in greeting. "Hello again, Bella. How are you?"

I took a step closer to Edward and his arm instantly slipped around my waist. "Hi, Jacob. I'm good, thanks." Then I couldn't help but add, "At least I was, until your friends showed up."

"Okay, about those two..." Jacob grimaced. "Sorry 'bout that. Embry's mostly cool, but Quil can be a real ass sometimes. It's not the first time he's provoked someone just to start a fight. I can't stand the guy and I have no idea why Embry insists on bringing him along."

Edward nodded in acceptance, although he still appeared to be a bit guarded. Rose - who had been quiet until now - finally spoke up, "So, Jacob, huh? Hi, I'm Rose. I guess we owe you a thank you. Things were about to get ugly."

"Hey!" Emmett looked deeply offended. "We so could've taken 'em! Right, Edward?" Edward just waved him off.

She let out a snort and shook her head, looking from him to Edward with a serious expression. "Really, you two are lucky nobody called the cops." I silently agreed. Surely they must have some kind of security guards working at a place like this. I honestly didn't know whether to be more grateful or bothered that no one had showed up.

He huffed, but wisely decided not to argue with her. Instead he turned to Jacob. "Well, Jacob, I'm Emmett. Now that we're done with the introductions, someone wanna fill me in on how you all know each other? Because I've never heard of you. No offense."

Jacob suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. "Actually..." he started, but Edward cut him off.

"He had a blind date with Bella last week," he explained dryly, and I was impressed by how he managed to keep a straight face. Emmett's jaw dropped and he immediately looked at me for confirmation. Rosalie's eyes narrowed and she opened her mouth, but Edward rolled his eyes and added, "Of course, she didn't know about it."

Two sets of confused and accusing eyes turned to Jacob, who looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I decided it was time to step in. "Just stop giving him the evil eye, guys - it was a misunderstanding. My mom tried to set us up, although she conveniently failed to inform Jacob that I already had a boyfriend." I glanced at Edward, who looked surprisingly calm considering the circumstances.

"Wait a minute..." Emmett still looked confused. "I don't get it. Why would your mom set you up with someone? I mean, she knows you're with Edward, right? It just doesn't make any sense." Rose nodded in agreement, looking at me expectantly.

I sighed deeply and glanced at my watch, knowing this was not the time or the place for having that particular discussion. "I'll explain later, okay? Look, the movie's starting soon and we haven't even gotten our tickets yet. We really need to be moving."

"What movie are you gonna see?" Jacob asked curiously. When Emmett told him the name, he laughed. "No kidding? That's the same one we just saw. Hate to tell you this, but it seriously sucked. A total waste of money if you ask me."

"That's what I said, Em," Rose sighed in annoyance. "I mean, it's a movie about werewolves, for God's sake! Bella and I both asked you to pick something else but you wouldn't listen."

"That's probably the reason he picked this one in the first place," Edward guessed, a hint of amusement in his voice. "So he won't miss anything interesting while he's sticking his tongue down your throat. I bet he had no intention to actually watch it."

Rose gasped and she gave her boyfriend an appalled look. "Oh my God, what are you, twelve? Seriously, Emmett, I didn't come here to make out."

"Really?" Emmett sounded genuinely surprised. "But that's the whole point of going to the movies! Screw the film - if I really want to watch something, I'll just rent it." He looked so disappointed, I didn't have the heart to laugh at his reasoning. Rose just rolled her eyes at him, something I had learned she did a lot.

"Might as well just skip it, then," Edward suggested with a shrug. "No point in seeing a movie nobody actually wants to see."

"But I wanna see it!" Emmett protested, only to sigh in defeat when Rose raised a brow skeptically. "Okay, fine. I don't really care. Actually, the rest of the films they're showing seem like crap as well."

"We could always do something else?" She gave me a questioning look. "What do you think, Bella?"

"Sure, whatever." I smiled at her. The truth was, I really didn't care what we did, as long as we wouldn't all just split up and go home. I turned to Edward. "You okay with leaving?"

He nodded with a sweet smile. "Of course, love. I just wanna be with you - it doesn't matter where we go." His words made me feel all warm inside and he was rewarded with a kiss on the cheek. And then one on the mouth. I thought I heard a soft 'aww' coming from Rose, but I couldn't be certain, seeing how my attention was elsewhere for the moment.

"You know, my cousin, Sam, owns a small pub across the street," Jacob spoke up, and we all turned to look at him as he went on, "He just opened it last week and from what he told me, not many people seem to know about it yet. Anyway, that's where I'm heading. If you want, you guys could come as well." He grinned. "And I'm totally counting on getting a free beer for bringing him some new customers."

"Beer?" Emmett instantly perked up at this and I could tell he had sobered up a bit. "Rose, baby, I need more beer! Can we go?"

She already looked interested, although I could tell she was pleased that he would ask her for permission. "Fine by me. Edward? Bella?"

I looked at Edward, searching his face for a reaction. Even though this pub sounded like a pretty quiet place, I couldn't just assume he'd want to go, and I wasn't going to push him into something that might make him uncomfortable. That's why I waited for him to respond before I said anything.

Also, I wasn't sure how I felt about hanging out with Jacob. Sure, he seemed like a decent enough guy, but still, he reminded me of things - and a certain someone - I really didn't want to think about tonight, namely my mother. But then again, I figured it wouldn't be fair of me to blame Jacob for Renee's stupidity.

Besides, I had been pretty rude to him the last time we met. The least I could do now was to give him the benefit of doubt. From what I had seen of him so far, he seemed like the sociable type who didn't have a problem with approaching people he didn't know. And with friends like those two idiots - Quil and Embry - who could blame him for wanting to make new ones?

Edward seemed hesitant at first, but then he shrugged and turned to me. "I'm cool with it if you wanna go. It's up to you."

I bit my lip, wondering if he really meant it. "Are you sure?" I asked gently. "We don't have to. I mean, I'm sure Rose and Emmett won't mind going without us if you'd rather-"

"I said, I'm cool with it if you are," he interrupted firmly but softly. "I want you to have a good time tonight." I opened my mouth, about to insist that I wanted the same thing for him, but he hurried on before I could say anything, "Bella, I'm happy as long as you're happy. I mean that." Somehow, I knew he was telling the truth.

I smiled and reached for his hand, giving it a squeeze. He winced and cursed under his breath, causing me to quickly pull back in alarm. "Edward, let me see." He started to object but then sighed and held his hand up for my inspection. My eyes widened at the sight of his red and slightly swollen knuckles.

"It's nothing," he tried to assure me, wiggling his fingers a little. When I didn't respond, he sighed again, glancing over his shoulder before gesturing for me to follow him. He led me away from the others, stopping at a safe distance to make sure we would be out of earshot. "Sweetheart, you don't have to look so upset. I'm fine."

"But you're hurt," I protested weakly, knowing deep down I was probably overreacting and that the swelling of his hand would most likely go down in a day or so, but that didn't mean I was okay with it. Not if he was in pain. I swallowed. "Edward, you only hit that guy because of what he said about me, didn't you?"

His eyes darkened and his concerned expression turned into anger. "Of course I did. You heard what he called you. I wasn't going to let some asshole talk about you like that."

"Edward..." I hesitated for a moment, contemplating how to make him understand why that statement made me so sad. While I could appreciate that he felt the need to defend my honor, it really bothered me that he wouldn't even consider standing up for himself, and I was pretty sure that whatever Quil had said to him before I showed up was every bit as bad and hurtful, if not worse.

He had once admitted to me how much it hurt when other people would tease him and make comments about his physical appearance, but he had also confessed that he never felt like he had the right to complain, that he didn't deserve any better. Even though I did my best to make him see he was wrong, I knew it would take a lot of time and convincing for him to actually start seeing himself in a new light.

I just wished he would someday find the strength to fight back, to actually do it for himself and not just for me. It was something we definitely needed to talk about. But now wasn't the time. I made a decision to ask him more about what happened later, when it was just the two of us.

Obviously seeing the conflict on my face, Edward tucked some of my hair behind my ear and looked me straight in the eyes. "I know what you're thinking, but it doesn't matter. This is my life, Bella. I'm used to it. But he had no fucking right to say those things about you."

I shook my head, but knew I wouldn't be able to get through to him in that moment. There were times when I almost thought I had gotten him to change his twisted opinion about himself - that he was unworthy and deserved whatever crap people threw at him - but for every two steps forward, there would unfortunately also be one step back.

So I just carefully picked up his hand again, brought it up to my lips and pressed a soft kiss to his bruised knuckles. "So, you wanna get out of here?"

"Definitely," he responded immediately, the conviction evident in his voice. He actually seemed eager to leave, and that's when it hit me that the whole incident had affected him deeper than he was letting on. A part of me just wanted to say 'hell with it' and ask him to take me home, knowing he would do so in a heartbeat if he thought it was what I really wanted.

But I also had a feeling Edward needed to do this. He wouldn't want tonight to end with the two of us going home in low spirits, even though there seemed to be some unspoken agreement that we were going to spend the rest of the night together. He wanted me to have fun and enjoy myself this evening, and I hoped that he at least on some level wanted more for himself as well.

So I figured we were all going after all, to some newly opened pub I had never heard of. With Jacob Black. The mere idea seemed almost bizarre to me, and I couldn't help but wonder how Renee would react had she known about this. Something told me she wouldn't like it at all, seeing how she had failed to split me and Edward up and push me into the arms of Jacob.

The fact that he and Edward actually seemed to get along would probably infuriate her even more. I had to smile as the possibility of the two of them actually becoming something close to friends flashed through my mind. It was an interesting thought, and I knew Renee would have hated it.

Was I still a little bitter when my mother was involved? Hell, yes! But that didn't change the fact that Jacob seemed like a nice guy. After what happened the last time, I wouldn't have blamed him for running in the other direction the moment he recognized me and Edward, but instead he had invited all of us to come along with him.

A thought hit me as we went back to join the others. "Um, Jacob, what are the odds we'll run into your friends again at this pub we're going to?" I felt Edward tense up a little next to me, as the possibility didn't seem to have occurred to him.

But Jacob shook his head. "I'd say the odds are slim to none. Sam went to school with Quil's older brother, Jared, and they've basically hated each other since they were kids. Believe me, it's the last place Quil would go. Besides, he knows that's where I'm heading and I doubt he wants to risk running into me again tonight. I tend to ruin his 'fun'." There was a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"You guys are in, then?" Emmett asked, giving us a questioning look. Edward nodded. "Cool!"

The pub Jacob's cousin owned was called _Eclipse_, and Jacob hadn't been kidding when he said it was small. The bar took up most of the space in the room, but there were a couple of tables and even a booth over at the far wall. They were all empty, but a few people were sitting in the bar, talking and drinking. It was all pretty quiet.

That was, until the man behind the bar looked up and spotted us. He grinned and waved. "Jake! Good to see you, man. I see you brought some friends."

"Nah, actually I don't really know them," Jacob chuckled and added with a wink, "I just lured them in here with the promise of free beer." Emmett pumped his fist in the air and let out a booming, 'Hell, yeah!' The man - who I assumed was Sam - threw his head back and laughed.

"Don't worry - we fully intend to pay for our drinks," Rose assured him, reaching out to flick Emmett at the back of his head. He made a show of rubbing the spot, looking a bit offended, and the rest of us snickered.

"So, this is my cousin, Sam." Jacob plopped down on one of the bar stools. "Sam, this is Emmett and Rose, and that's Edward and Bella. I met them at the movie theater." He glanced apologetically at us over his shoulder. "They had the misfortune of running into Quil Ateara who decided to start some trouble."

"My deepest condolences," Sam offered dryly. "That guy's an idiot." We all nodded in agreement.

"So can I finally have a beer now, or what?" Emmett had obviously decided it was enough with the smalltalk. "I'm all sobered up here, and I don't like it."

"Well, we can't have that." Sam grinned. "So what kind do you want? Bottle or on tap?"

"Doesn't matter." Emmett waved his hand impatiently. "Surprise me."

Sam nodded in acceptance. "You got it. Jake, the usual, right? What about the rest of you?"

Edward asked for a beer as well while I considered my options for a moment. "I want something sweet and fruity. Go easy on the alcohol, please."

"I'll have whatever she's having, but don't you go easy on anything," Rose warned with a wide smile. "Bella, is there any way I can talk you into doing a shot race with me later?"

I shook my head but couldn't help but smile. It seemed like the night had just barely started. And I was right.

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><p><strong>End Notes: EPOV coming up next.<strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

**Edward**

I couldn't help but wonder if the whole situation felt as surreal to Emmett and Rose as it did to me. The two of them had been on countless double dates over the years, only normally they went with Alice and Jasper. Of course, they would always insist I was more than welcome to join them whenever they would go out, but most of the time I would just make up some excuse so I wouldn't have to go.

Because - let's face it - being the fifth wheel sucked. I hated how they felt obligated to invite me along every time. The last thing I wanted was their pity, even though Emmett would probably kick my ass if he ever heard me talk like that. But the fact remained - I knew I would never have what they had. I would always be alone, and being around other happy couples was just a painful reminder that I didn't fit in.

Even among my friends, I was still an outsider.

Things were different now, though. I wasn't alone anymore. The moment Bella had entered my life, everything changed. All of a sudden, I was a part of something. For the first time ever, I felt like I actually belonged in the world. It was the most amazing feeling, but at the same time, it was overwhelming. Almost to the point of frightening.

I was trying to get used to the idea that it was all real, that Bella was here with me and she was here to stay. While I still doubted myself from time to time, thinking I could never be what she truly deserved, she had done her best to convince me that was all just in my head. She said she loved me, and I believed her. But a part of me would probably never really understand why.

When I first met Vicky, I was foolish enough to get my hopes up. I had been lonely for so long, and finally there was this beautiful woman who seemed to want me. Finally I had someone I could do all those things with that normal people - couples - did. Someone I could love, and who would love me in return. I was an idiot.

It wasn't until later I realized I had just been obsessed with the _idea_ of being in love, but that didn't make it hurt any less when the truth came out. I had still wanted to die when she took my heart and ripped it out of my chest, stomped it into the ground and then laughed about it in my face. It was the most humiliating moment of my entire existence, and I still felt sick to my stomach whenever I thought about it.

Of course, now I knew there was nothing beautiful or lovable about Vicky. Not on the inside, anyway. But back then, I had been mesmerized by her very appearance. Or maybe it was just because she gave me the attention I so desperately craved. I should have known I was just a joke to her. But I was starving for someone to see me, to love me.

And now I had it. Only this time it was real. More than once, I had wished that Bella and I could have met before Vicky had crushed my barely existent self-esteem, maybe then it would be easier for me to accept that I was in fact worthy of Bella's love. Now I had to struggle with my insecurities every day, maybe for the rest of my life.

But if this was the outcome, then maybe it had all been worth it after all. If I had to go through all that pain and humiliation, just to end up with Bella in my life, then I would do it again in a heartbeat. Because she had quickly become the most important person in my life - she was everything to me, and I didn't even want to think about how heartbroken I would be if I ever lost her. It would destroy me for sure.

I snapped out of my depressing thoughts as I felt Bella's fingers trace softly down my thigh. As I looked up, my eyes met hers, and she mouthed the words, 'I love you.' And just like that, everything else disappeared. Every single doubt, every irrational fear. And all of a sudden, I couldn't stop smiling.

At least not until Emmett started making slurring threats about kicking my ass, should I ever be stupid enough to let Bella go. I rolled my eyes at him, knowing he had always been a bit of a drama queen when he got drunk, and assured him - as well as my girl - that I had every intention of holding on to her. The look on Bella's face when I made that declaration was the picture of pure happiness.

Things had been going really well so far. I had cast a discreet look at Bella when our food arrived, relieved when she showed no signs of anxiety as she started eating like the rest of us. She seemed to be comfortable, and I couldn't help but hope I was part of the reason. Although she did seem a bit surprised when I wouldn't have any dessert.

She didn't question my decision, though. Neither did Rose or Emmett, and for that I was grateful, because I really didn't like to draw any unnecessary attention to myself, especially when eating was involved. I knew Bella would most likely understand, seeing how we both had issues with food, but still, our problems were very different.

I often felt awkward eating out in public where other people could see me, even though I would still do it from time to time when it couldn't be avoided. As long as it was just Bella or my friends, I was mostly okay with it, but large or fancy restaurants usually made me uneasy. I always felt like everyone was staring at me, judging me.

At least this place was quiet enough for me to actually enjoy myself, but I wasn't going to take any chances. I could have dessert another time. Preferably at home, when no one was watching me. Or maybe I should just skip it altogether - it wasn't like I needed any extra calories. A couple of months ago, the thought of denying myself the pleasure of eating whatever I wanted would have sent me into depression.

Now, not so much. I sort of had other, more important things on my mind. Like the woman sitting next to me. I didn't realize I was grinning like a fool until I heard Emmett hiss my name. When I gave him a confused look, his puzzled expression turned into amusement. "Dude, you've got it bad!"

Casting a worried look at Bella, I was happy to find that she seemed engrossed in whatever quiet conversation she was having with Rose. I turned back to Emmett, unable to hide my embarrassment. "Why don't you repeat that a little louder? I don't think they heard you in China."

He chuckled at that, but actually had the decency to lower his voice just a little as he went on, "Seriously, man, it's nice to see you like this."

"Like what?" I asked, although I had a feeling I already knew what he meant. I was right.

"Happy," he clarified, taking a huge gulp of his beer. I looked down at my own glass, noting it was still half-full. Seeing how I needed to drink what seemed like an enormous amount of alcohol, just to feel the slightest hint of tipsiness, I rarely bothered to even attempt to get drunk. It seemed pointless, anyway.

And it wasn't like I had any problem keeping up with Emmett. The guy would practically get intoxicated just by looking at a beer bottle. I had to admit it was quite entertaining. Emmett never had to put in any effort when he had decided to get drunk. And somehow, he never seemed to suffer a hang-over the next day. It was a mystery yet to be solved.

"I _am_ happy," I confirmed in response to his statement. His smile widened and he raised his glass at me before emptying it. Then he started looking around, presumably for someone who could refill it. I shook my head with a snicker, thinking Rose would have her hands full trying to get him home tonight.

While I had been talking to Emmett for the last couple of minutes, the girls were obviously in the middle of a conversation of their own. I had no idea what it was about, but suddenly Rose said something that caught my attention. "Jasper and I don't see eye to eye on this. He keeps saying I don't understand, that I don't know Alice the way he does and therefor I have no idea what she's going through."

Emmett and I both looked up, just in time to see the scowl on Bella's face. "What _she's_ going through?" she all but growled, only to blush as she realized all eyes around the table were suddenly on her. "Sorry," she whispered, guilt flashing across her face.

"Bella..." I didn't really understand why she was apologizing, but felt the need to reassure her. "It's okay, sweetheart. We can talk about it if you want." It hadn't escaped my notice how she - Rose and Emmett too, for that matter - had avoided any mention of my sister so far. In a way it was a relief, but at the same time I didn't want anyone to feel like they had to walk on eggshells around me.

I could handle talking about Alice. Facing her was a whole different matter, though. I was definitely not ready for that.

Emmett was quick to change the subject when Bella shook her head and insisted she didn't want to bring anyone down. He slammed his glass down and eagerly announced that we'd better hurry so we wouldn't miss the movie. Of course, he made it perfectly clear that his first priority was to buy enough snacks to make it through the film.

After catching our waiter so we could get the check, it only took us about ten minutes to get to the cinema, seeing how it was located just a few blocks away from the restaurant. When Emmett made a beeline for the concession stand, I told him to wait for me. I had decided to get something for me and Bella to share - nothing much, maybe just some popcorn or a bag of M&M's.

Unfortunately, we never made it that far.

I was the one who noticed the two guys first, probably because I had always been more aware of my surroundings than most people. It was something that came naturally to me after all these years - never let your guard down. Back in school, it had been my way of trying to keep one step ahead of the bullies. Even though it never really changed the outcome; in the end, they were always faster than me.

Over the years, I had also become pretty good at recognizing a potential threat. It was something about the eyes, reminding me of the way a predator would seek out its prey. There was no mercy. And somehow, even though I did everything in my power not to draw any attention to myself, those eyes would spot me every time.

When I was a kid, my mom - as well as those few teachers at school who actually gave a damn - would give me countless pep-talks about how things were going to change and get better when I got older. They would all claim that while kids could be cruel and immature, grown-ups knew better.

It didn't take me long to figure out that it was all just a fat load of bullshit. As far as I was concerned, most people were cruel, no matter the age.

Another thing that used to piss me off was when someone would tell me how everyone had the same value and that it was the inside of a person that really mattered. Sure, it sounded good and all in theory, but we all knew it was a lie. Besides, I never understood why they were trying to convince _me_, when they really should be telling _them_. I was not the one who needed the lecture.

Now it was obvious to me that these guys didn't give a rat's ass about equal values. They just wanted someone to pick on. And as usual, I had ended up with the shortest straw.

The second he spotted me, the guy elbowed his friend and whispered something in his ear. Then they started toward us. I knew they were going to say something to me and I braced myself, knowing I had to act unaffected, no matter what. Even though I had learned to shrug off people's comments and pretend it didn't bother me, it was always humiliating.

And even more so now, when I knew Bella was nearby. I prayed she wouldn't be close enough to witness this, that I would get to keep at least some dignity. The last thing I wanted was for my girlfriend having to watch me getting picked on by a couple of strangers.

Emmett may not have been the most attentive person at the moment, given the alcohol he had consumed at the restaurant, but he must have picked up on my tension because he suddenly stopped in his tracks, his eyes landing on the two young men in front of us. I could see the exact moment realization hit him and I watched how his face darkened. Just like me, he knew what was coming.

At times like these, I didn't know whether to be more annoyed or grateful for his presence. Emmett had a way of getting into protective mood, and while I appreciated how he was always willing to stand up for me, it was also embarrassing. I shouldn't need anyone coming to my rescue like I was a frightened little girl.

But the sad reality was, I was twenty-five fucking years old, and not capable of telling a couple of bullies to go fuck themselves. Because deep down, I would still hear that little voice telling me this was just what I deserved. I had refused to respect my own dad when he was alive, so why should I be treated any better now? I _should_ be suffering. This was nothing.

This was hell.

"Hey, fat-ass!" the shortest of the two called out, a vicious leer on his face as he and his friend stopped just a few feet away. The other guy grinned, although he remained silent. The one who had addressed me went on, "You know, people like you disgust me. They should make it an official rule at public places like this - no fatties allowed!" He laughed obnoxiously.

I wanted to wipe that smug look off his face. The insult itself was totally lame - something you might expect from a sixth grader, only this guy looked to be at least twenty. I briefly considered asking him if that was the best he could come up with, but then decided against it. Why bother? It was better to just walk away.

To Emmett, though, walking away was not an option at this point. He already looked angry before that annoying little punk had even opened his mouth, and now he was downright pissed off. Without warning, he lunged forward, although I managed to grab his arm at the last second, keeping him from jumping the guy. I tried insisting it wasn't worth it, but Emmett clearly disagreed.

The next thing I knew, Bella was at my side, sounding more than a little panicked as she demanded to know what happened. Obviously she and Rose had seen it all from a distance, and now they were both frantic. I made another fruitless attempt to reason with Emmett, but he would have none of it. He was absolutely livid, and not even Rosalie could get him to back off.

How I wished I could just sink through the floor.

That was when Bella lost it and started yelling. While I loved her for defending me, I hated that she would feel the need to in the first place. As far as I was concerned, it just made me look more pathetic. I wanted to be the kind of man she deserved - strong and independent, but instead I just felt weak and needy.

Like a fucking loser.

For a second, it actually seemed like Bella's outburst had worked and the tables had turned, as the strange guy obviously hadn't counted on getting so blatantly told off by a girl. Unfortunately, he quickly recovered from the shock. And then he made a huge mistake - the one thing I would never tolerate. He insulted Bella.

And that's what finally caused me to snap. Nobody called my girl a bitch and got away with it.

I didn't even think as I pushed Emmett out of the way and launched myself at the asshole, the most satisfying jolt of pain shooting through my fingers as I rammed my fist into his face. When I pulled back to strike again, Emmett finally reacted, springing into action as well. I was vaguely aware of Bella's pleading voice in the background, calling out my name, but I was too riled up to stop.

And then, suddenly, the fight was over as quickly as it had started.

I instantly recognized Jacob Black, although at first I wasn't sure whether his appearance was a good thing or not, especially if those guys were his friends. But when Emmett angrily explained how they had provoked and offended both me and Bella, he looked annoyed. "Sounds like you owe these guys an apology, Quil," he stated, a hint of frustration in his voice. I wasn't surprised when Quil flat out refused.

Thankfully he and his friend left shortly after that. I could feel Bella's worried eyes linger on me and did the only thing I could think of in that moment - I pushed my real emotions aside and put on what I hoped to be a carefree and unfazed expression. Having a feeling she could see right through my act, I was just grateful she didn't call me out on it in front of the others.

Although I was pretty certain she would confront me about it later. But that was okay. I would cross that bridge when I got there.

Not exactly sure how it happened, but we decided to skip the movie and ended up going to some new pub across the street, apparently called _Eclipse_. It was actually Jacob who suggested it, explaining his cousin owned the place, and Emmett was the first to agree, eagerly jumping at the opportunity to get some more alcohol in his system. Bella seemed a bit hesitant at first, but I managed to convince her.

I had always dreaded crowded bars and nightclubs, feeling both exposed and out of place, but at least this one didn't seem too bad. Only a handful of people had found their way inside the pub, all of them either standing or sitting in the bar. Jacob introduced us to the bartender - a tall, dark-haired man named Sam Uley - who also turned out to be the owner. He seemed like a pretty cool, easy-going guy.

Emmett's mood had improved drastically since we left the cinema and now he was basically back to his old, happy-go-lucky self, chatting animatedly with Jacob as Bella and Rose had decided they needed to visit the ladies room. It wasn't like they were leaving me out of their conversation - quite the opposite, actually - but aside from nodding and laughing at the appropriate places, I stayed mostly silent.

I wasn't trying to be rude, I just found it a bit hard to focus on what they were saying, probably because my thoughts were elsewhere. While I knew I shouldn't let what happened tonight bring me down - it wasn't the first time something similar had occurred, and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last - it still bothered me, a lot more than I liked to admit. And I knew why.

Sure, Bella loved me - there was no longer any doubt in my mind about that, but who was to say that couldn't change? What would it take for her to finally come to the conclusion that I simply wasn't worth it? How many times would she have to watch Emmett or someone else chase away my never-ending line of harassers before she got fed up?

It was dangerous, though, letting my mind wander in that direction. Not to mention that it was totally unfair to Bella, who had been nothing but loving and supporting since day one. Deep down, I didn't really think she would leave me over something like that. But it was so hard to have faith in someone else when I didn't believe in myself.

For a brief second, the idea of talking to a professional about my issues crossed my mind. But even though I knew there was nothing wrong or shameful about needing therapy, the mere thought made me cringe. As if I didn't feel pathetic enough already.

My phone suddenly buzzed in my pocket, indicating I had received a new text message. I held back a groan when I looked at the display and saw it was from my sister. Things had been blissfully quiet on that front for a while, but I figured giving Alice the cold shoulder would only work for so long. It had just been a matter of time before she would contact me.

I was definitely not in a mood to deal with her tonight, on top of everything else. So I didn't think twice before shoving the phone back down without reading the text. My annoyance must have shown, though, because Emmett stopped himself mid sentence and gave me a concerned look. "Everything okay?"

"Sure," I responded automatically, hoping it didn't sound as snappy to him as it did in my head. Thankfully Bella and Rose chose that moment to return, keeping me from having to elaborate. I slipped my arm around Bella's shoulders as she sat down next to me and reached for her drink, smiling when she instantly snuggled up against me, her small hand finding mine.

"I missed you," I mumbled into her ear, realizing it probably made me sound corny, seeing how she had only been gone for about five minutes, but I couldn't find it in me to care. After all, it was the truth. I always missed her when she wasn't right there beside me, where she belonged. Of course, I wasn't going to say that last part out loud, afraid of coming off as a possessive jerk.

"You're sweet," was her soft response, her lips brushing gently against my cheek before she put her head down to rest on my shoulder. The sincerity in her voice, combined with the breathtaking smile I knew was just for me, worked as a soothing balm on my troubled mind and managed to drive my inner demons off, at least for the moment. I wrapped my arms tightly around her small body and hugged her close.

I never wanted to let go.

Bella took a small sip of the pink concoction in her glass, which was topped with a strawberry, and let out a moan of pleasure. "God, this is amazing. Here, have a taste." She practically shoved the glass in my face. I gulped, wondering if she realized what her innocent little moan was doing to me.

I didn't want a taste of her drink - I wanted _her_. Right now.

"Bella..." I whispered, only to be mortified when her name came out close to a whimper. Thankfully, no one else seemed to be paying us much attention at the moment. She gave me a questioning look, although I didn't miss the knowing smile playing on her lips. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, love. We're finally having a good time, and I'm sure you're not ready to-"

She cut me off. "Edward, do you want to go home?"

"Only if you're coming with me," I told her truthfully, then swallowed hard. "Are you?"

Her smile widened and she firmly put her unfinished drink down on the table. "I thought you'd never ask."


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N: Thank you all so much for your wonderful and supportive reviews. I wish I had the time to respond to every single one. I try to respond to direct questions, though, but if I've missed anyone, I truly apologize. It wasn't my intention.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

**Bella**

Whenever Edward and I spent the night together - which happened more often than not these days, to be perfectly honest - it had become a habit for us to stay at his place. It just seemed more practical that way, seeing how his apartment was bigger than mine. And, just for the record, so was his bed.

In fact, Edward's bed was so large that it took up most of the space in the bedroom. It was a king-size bed, which was huge compared to the one I had back at my place. I had quickly learned that he would only buy those really expensive, luxurious sheets, and he preferred dark colors, like black or maroon. It was much more comfortable than mine, and I loved sleeping in there with him.

Although, right now, I could tell that _sleeping_ was the last thing on Edward's mind.

"I need you, love," he whispered hoarsely between kisses, tugging on my clothes almost desperately. Like I could possibly deny him.

Like I even wanted to.

"I'm yours," I reassured him, already fumbling with the button of his pants. "Whatever you want."

"What about what _you_ want?" he gasped, trembling fingers caressing my bare stomach, his dark, pleading eyes boring into mine. I could feel him against me, practically vibrating with lust, and yet I knew he wouldn't dream of initiate something without asking for my permission. It warmed my heart, and at the same time, I kind of wanted to beg him to just take me already.

"I only want you," I breathed into his mouth, burying my fingers in his hair as I kissed him hungrily, pressing my body against his. "Edward, please..."

It seemed like that was all he needed to hear - what he had been waiting for - like my soft 'please' was some kind of magic word, granting him access not only to my body but my very soul. Edward didn't hesitate as he rolled us over so he was on top of me and slid inside me with ease. He was rock hard, pumping furiously in and out, and I grasped at his shoulders, trying to pull him even closer.

Edward and I had made love a few times after his accident, but this was different. It was pure, raw sex, and it was amazing. He slammed into me hard, over and over again, and I eagerly thrust my hips up and down, mimicking his movements. It was like neither of us could get enough of the other, and I moaned loudly as I felt him moving inside me. "Oh, God, whatever you do, don't stop!" I gasped.

"Bella, Bella..." he chanted in response, his breathing picking up, and I knew he was close to climaxing. When he finally came, he collapsed on top of me with a groan. For the next couple of minutes, we were just lying there, panting and trying to catch our breaths. Edward made no motion of rolling off me, and I couldn't move if I wanted to.

Not that I was complaining. I was perfectly happy right there where I was.

You might think I'd end up feeling trapped or claustrophobic, seeing how Edward's body was so much larger and heavier than mine, but I had never once felt uncomfortable when he was lying on top of me in bed. If anything, it made me feel safe, protected. I knew Edward had his doubts, but I loved it. Hell, I loved everything about him, so why wouldn't I enjoy this? It wasn't like I needed to breathe, anyway.

Okay, so I did. But I was certain I needed Edward more. Breathing was so overrated. Or maybe that was the lack of air, making me delirious. I honestly didn't know, nor did I care in that moment. A small giggle escaped me at the thought. Should I pass out - or heaven forbid, die from not getting enough oxygen into my lungs - at least it would be a good way to go.

Yeah, it was clear that getting down from a sex high was making me morbid. I mentally shook my head at myself.

As if he could read my mind, Edward shifted a little, and I felt him starting to tense up in alarm. "Am I crushing you?" he asked worriedly, and I realized he was still a bit out of breath.

Fearing it would just be a matter of seconds before he scrambled off me, I tightened my grip on him, not ready to let him go. He was just so warm, and it felt so good having him this close. I let out a content sigh and shook my head. "Only in the most pleasant way," I assured him, then felt myself blush. I couldn't have just said 'no'?

Much to my relief, Edward chuckled a little and relaxed again. "You're weird." I just shrugged, thinking I couldn't really argue with that.

We remained in bed for almost an hour, just cuddling and talking about trivial matters. I wanted to ask Edward about what happened tonight, but I was a bit hesitant, knowing it would kill the mood for sure. Things were good right now, at least on the surface, and maybe I should just leave it at that.

But at the same time, it didn't seem right to avoid a sensitive discussion just because it might get awkward. I had been hiding my true feelings and emotions from my parents and my friends my whole life, and I wanted my relationship with Edward to be different. Keeping things locked up inside was hard, not to mention tiring. Besides, I liked the idea of us being able to talk about everything.

And I suspected that Edward was still keeping a thing or two locked up as well. Sometimes he didn't seem to mind talking about his past with me, but then there were other times when trying to get him to open up was a lot like pulling teeth. I figured it was just the same for him, seeing how we both had our demons.

"A penny for your thoughts," Edward mumbled after a while, running his fingers through my hair. I realized he was watching me intently.

I pouted a little, pretending to be offended. "Don't you think my thoughts are worth a little more than that?"

"Of course they are, how silly of me." He grinned. "A dollar, then?" I pressed my lips together, trying not to giggle as I shook my head. "Two?"

"How about a kiss?" I suggested impishly, batting my lashes at him.

Edward gasped in mock horror. "You're a tough bargainer." I smiled and shrugged, giving him an expectant look. He made a show of seriously considering his options. "I suppose it's not up for negotiation?" I firmly shook my head again and he sighed deeply. "Then I guess I don't have much choice. Okay, here we go." His eyes sparkled mischievously as he leaned in to give me the quickest peck on the nose.

"Are you kidding me?" I protested, unable to hide my disappointment. He laughed.

"Sorry, love, I couldn't resist." He cupped my cheek, looked me deeply in the eyes, and kissed me for real this time. When he finally pulled back, we were both gasping for air. "Better?" he asked, smiling sweetly.

I pretended to give it some thought before nodding. "Much better."

His expression turned thoughtful. "Bella, about tonight..." He glanced at me. "I know you wanna talk about what happened at the cinema."

I did, and at the same time I didn't. Edward seemed happy now, playful even, which was a side of him I didn't get to see very often. I didn't want that beautiful smile to leave his face, and I knew it was inevitable if I allowed him to keep steering our conversation in that direction. But then again, he was the one who had brought it up.

"I had a really good time at the restaurant," I told him carefully, deciding to play it safe and let Edward take charge of where this was heading. "I like Rose and Emmett. We should hang out with them again some time."

"Sure, I'd like that." He was quiet for a few seconds. "Look, I feel like I should apologize for my behavior. I can't say I regret hitting that guy - the fucker had it coming for saying those things about you - but I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable." Guilt flashed across his face and his eyes turned sad.

"Edward, no!" I refused to let him beat himself up over something that wasn't even his fault to begin with. "_He_ was the one making me uncomfortable, not you. I don't blame you for reacting that way. I blame _him_. Do you understand? You didn't do anything wrong. You were just defending me, and Emmett, well, I guess he was defending both of us." I ran my fingers down his arm. "Actually, I'm more concerned about you."

"Me?" He sounded surprised. Then he looked down at his other hand, the swelling already starting to go down. "I told you, it's nothing. I'm okay."

I bit my lip. "I wasn't just talking about your hand."

He sighed and I could see realization on his face. "Bella..."

"Edward, I'm not stupid." I took his hand gently between mine. "I'm not gonna ask you to repeat what that jerk said to you before Rose and I showed up, but I know it was bad, or Emmett wouldn't have gotten so angry. Whatever it was, it hurt you, and it's killing me to see you in pain. But you know what's even worse?" He shook his head. "Watching you just stand there and take it. Like you..." I swallowed, "Like you deserve it. Because you don't. Please, baby, tell me you know that."

His Adam's apple bobbed up and down but he remained silent. I just wanted to cry, but somehow I managed to keep my tears in check. "I wish you could see yourself the way I see you," I mumbled. "Edward, you have the most beautiful heart and you only deserve good things in your life, not pain and suffering. Please, _please_, try to take in what I'm saying, because honest to God, it's the truth."

He was quiet for so long, I started to think he wouldn't respond at all, but finally he spoke up, his voice husky with emotion, "I'm not stupid either, Bella. I hear what you're saying and I know you believe it's the truth. Hell, I'm not saying you're wrong. But you need to understand what it's like for me. My head is telling me one thing and my heart another. In my head, I know you're right."

I nodded in understanding, forcing myself to speak around the huge lump in my throat. "And what does your heart say?" He just looked at me. "Edward..." I pleaded.

He closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them again, he turned his head away, staring out into the distance. "That this is my punishment," he admitted quietly. "That I just have to suck it up and accept it for what it is."

My mouth fell open and I shook my head in bewilderment, because I just didn't understand. "Punishment? For what?"

The way he opened his mouth, closed it again and then raked his fingers through his hair in frustration told me how difficult this was for him. And yet I didn't ask him to stop, didn't offer to change the subject. Because I knew how badly he needed to get it all out in the open. And I was certain he knew it as well. Otherwise he would've already told me to drop it.

In fact, something told me he actually _wanted_ to talk about it, that he desperately needed me to understand how his troubled mind was tormenting him. He just didn't know how to explain so it made sense to me. I could relate to that, remembering all too well how hard it had been for me to tell Edward about my food problem. And I also recalled how much lighter I had felt afterward, when the truth was out.

So I just waited patiently while he struggled to find the words. It pained me that he still wouldn't meet my eyes, but I wasn't going to push him.

"I did something really bad, something unforgivable." He let out a sigh. "And I can't ever take it back."

"What could you possibly have done...?" I started to protest, but then stopped myself as things were beginning to fall in place. "Wait. Is this about your dad?" His eyes shot to mine, large and pleading, as if silently begging me to figure it out so he wouldn't have to say it. And all of a sudden I felt stupid for not putting the pieces together sooner. "You feel bad about the way you treated him." It wasn't a question.

He nodded grimly. "I told you how I felt about him. Of course, I never admitted it to his face, but still, he knew. So did my mom. And Alice..." He grimaced. "She used to get so mad at me. You see, she and Dad were really close. Unlike me, Alice practically worshipped the ground he walked on. She hated the way society would frown on him, just because of his obesity. To her, he was a hero."

"So, let me see if I got this straight." I hesitated a little. "You were ashamed to be seen with your father, and for that you think you should be punished?" Again he nodded, as if it should be obvious. I sighed. "But Edward, don't you realize that practically every kid in the world are ashamed of their parents at one point or another in their life? That's normal. It's a part of growing up."

"Not the same thing," he objected, a stubborn note in his voice. "I was embarrassed because of his size, but I also blamed him for the way _I_ had become. The way I saw it, since I looked just like him, it had to be his fault, right?" He let out a snort of disgust. "That's not normal. It's sick. My dad should've been ashamed of me instead of the other way around. So, yeah, I should be punished. It's only fair."

I just shook my head, stunned by his reasoning. In a way, I guess I could understand why he'd feel that way, but at the same time, his words chilled me to the bone. It hit me in that moment that his pain was far greater and much more intense than I had ever imagined. And I was forced to admit that I alone wouldn't be able to help him sort it out. For a moment, the realization scared the hell out of me.

How could you possibly tell the love of your life that you thought he was in need of professional help to deal with his inner demons?

When I didn't say anything, Edward tilted his head to the side, a somewhat wary look on his face. "Bella, please, just tell me what you're thinking right now."

Giving my options a brief moment's consideration, I then made up my mind. I wasn't going to lie to him. If I really wanted Edward to trust me and feel like he could confide in me, then I needed to be honest with him, even though it may upset him. I wouldn't do him any favors by sugarcoating. Hopefully he would understand that I was just trying to help him.

I wrung my hands in my lap, lowered my eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm thinking maybe it would be a good idea for you talk to someone about all this. I mean, about how you feel..." my voice trailed off and I inwardly grimaced. There really was no easy way to say this. And I imagined it had to be even harder to hear, especially from your own girlfriend. I just prayed he wouldn't hate me for suggesting it.

"Oh." He sounded surprised, but thankfully not offended or angry. I glanced at him. If anything, he looked thoughtful. "I've thought about it," he confessed in a low voice. "But I don't know. I mean, you're talking about a therapist or something, right?"

"Um, yeah, I guess so," I nodded, beyond relieved that he seemed to be taking it so well.

"Not sure I'd be comfortable with that," he mumbled, sounding almost apologetic. "Don't get me wrong - I know it's their job to sit and listen to people's crap, and I'm sure most of them know what they're doing, but it seems so... I don't know. Drastic?" He swallowed visibly. "Or maybe 'pathetic' is the word I'm looking for."

Firmly shaking my head, I covered his hand with mine. "I don't think so. Not at all. In fact, I think it's incredibly brave, not only to admit that you need help, but to actually consider doing something about it."

"But that's just it." He looked away. "I'm not a strong person, Bella. All my life, I've been turning my back on my problems, as if ignoring them would make them go away. If I go see a therapist, I fear they're gonna force me to actually deal with it. And I'm not sure I can."

Our eyes met, and in that moment, he looked more vulnerable than I had ever seen him before.

I squeezed his hand. "When you say 'deal with it', do you mean like accepting your past? Or..." I ran my thumb over his knuckles, "Are you talking about... your weight?"

"Um..." His cheeks turned slightly pink. "I don't know. Both?" It came out as a question and he shrugged, helplessly. "Either way, I'm too much of a coward."

I opened my mouth to protest, but he held up a hand to stop me and went on, "If you're about to object, then you think too highly of me. You say I'm brave for admitting I need help, but that's how far my bravery goes. I mean it, Bella. I've never stood up to anyone in my life, never done anything even remotely courageous. If that's not the very definition of being a coward, then I don't know what is."

"I think you're being way too hard on yourself," I chided him gently. "If you ask me, the fact that you're even having this conversation with me is a sign of bravery. Think about it. You just admitted to me what in your opinion is your biggest weakness. Granted, I don't agree with you, but still, it takes a lot of guts to do something like that. It's okay to be afraid, Edward. But that doesn't make you a coward."

He cocked his head to the side, watching me thoughtfully, and it seemed like I was finally getting through to him. I continued softly, "Just for the record, I think you're so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. I know what it's like to feel like the whole world is against you. It's hard. Just remember - you're not alone anymore. We both have issues, pretty big ones. But we'll deal with them together."

The funny thing was, I had never been more sure about anything in my life. All of a sudden, everything seemed so clear, like my eyes were open for the first time. We could do this. As long as we had each other. Then we could handle anything, may it be physical threats or personal demons.

"I like the sound of that, but I need a little more time to think about it," Edward told me quietly. "I'll let you know when I decide. That okay with you?"

"Of course," I assured him, very happy this conversation hadn't turned out awkward after all, like I had feared. We sealed our deal with a kiss, that might have led to more, had his cell phone not started buzzing. Feeling how he tensed up a little against me, I pulled back to give him a questioning look. "Something wrong?"

He shrugged and sat up, reaching for the phone on the nightstand. Glancing at the display, he then put it back down with a deep sigh. "Just like I thought," he muttered.

"What?" I was confused. "Was that a text? Who was it from?"

"Alice," he admitted with another sigh. "And before you ask, no, this is not the first one she's sent tonight."

I blinked in surprise at this revelation. "Oh. Well, what does she want?"

"I don't know and I don't care." He shook his head in annoyance. "I'm not ready to talk to her. I told her to leave me alone, and she obviously doesn't respect my wishes. Counting this one, she's sent a total of four text messages tonight. She just refuses to take the hint. I should just delete them."

He sounded confident enough, but the fact that he had yet to do so told me it wasn't as simple as he was letting on. On some level, he wished the situation with Alice was different. I could hardly blame him for that. "Honey, why don't you just see what she has to say? Maybe it's important. You can always delete them after you've read them."

While I was still furious at Alice for her behavior, I didn't want to be the reason Edward felt like he had to distance himself from his family. It suddenly hit me that he had been wrong when he claimed he had never stood up to anyone, seeing how that was exactly what he had done with his sister. He should be proud of himself, but he clearly didn't see it that way.

"You don't have to see her, or even talk to her," I continued softly. "Just check the messages and see what she wants. I know you must be curious."

He grimaced at my statement, but didn't deny it. Throwing a final uncertain look at me, he then picked up his phone again. I waited patiently as he started reading and it took a few seconds before I realized I was holding my breath. For Edward's sake, I wished more than anything that Alice was finally coming around.

But my hope was crushed when his expression changed, from hope to disbelief, and finally to anger. "Told you I should've just deleted them," he told me sharply, an almost accusing note in his voice, and I tried not to feel hurt as he practically threw the phone down on the bed with a huff. When I just looked at him, his face softened and he quickly reached out for me, pulling me into his arms. "I'm sorry."

"That bad, huh?" I whispered sympathetically, resting my head on his shoulder and running my hand soothingly over his hair. "Wanna talk about it?" A part of me didn't want to know, but I could feel his sudden distress and didn't like the thought of him keeping it all to himself. I figured it was safe to say that Alice was _not_ starting to come around.

"I just don't understand what happened to her," Edward confessed in a small voice, hugging me tighter, which I suspected was more for his comfort than mine. "She used to be so sweet and kind. Now she's just..." he hesitated, searching for the right word, "...angry." A pause. "Nasty."

I felt my anger grow, but in all honesty, it was mostly directed at myself for insisting he'd read the stupid texts in the first place. Why couldn't I have just let it go? I should've known it would come to this. But a little voice whispered that Edward probably would've done the same thing had Renee been the one sending me messages - he would've encouraged me to hear her out, not for her sake but for my own.

The truth was, I knew exactly what it was like to have a falling-out with a family member, and I didn't want that for him if it could be helped. But maybe I needed to learn just to mind my own business. My mind was racing and my thoughts were all over the place, but I didn't say anything. Instead I just held him closer.

And I was still convinced we'd be able to get through this. Together.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**Bella**

"Bella, hey, wait up! There's someone here asking for you." I was just getting off my shift when Angela called out for me, making me stop in my tracks.

Quickly putting my apron on the hanger in my locker, I turned to give her a somewhat apprehensive look. "Really? Who is it?" I knew it wasn't Edward. For one thing, he was supposed to be at work for another hour and a half, and secondly, ever since Angela met him that one time, she had been referring to him as my man. If Edward had been the one here to see me, she would've already said so.

I just hoped it wasn't Renee. Ugh! Or Alice. To be honest, I couldn't say which one of those two I disliked more at the moment. Right now, I kind of felt like should I never see either of them again, I wouldn't shed any tears. As of now, they were both at the top of my shit list. Renee for crossing the line with the stunt she tried to pull with Jacob, and Alice for... well, for being Alice.

Edward had showed me the four text messages she sent him the other night, and I had to say I was appalled by her crudeness. I suppose it shouldn't come as a total surprise to me, seeing how it was hardly the first time she had openly showed her disapproval when it came to my relationship with Edward, but still, I found it quite shocking that she would direct her anger at him.

Because that was exactly what she was doing now. Somehow, she had found out Edward and I went out on a double date with Emmett and Rosalie, and I guess she must have been offended no one had thought of inviting her - which made absolutely no sense to me since she clearly hated my guts. Either that, or she simply couldn't stand the thought of the rest of them having fun without her.

So she obviously felt it necessary to spew out irrational accusations at Edward, which caused me to see red. The texts had started out pretty innocent, though, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say she was genuinely hurt for being left out. But reading between the lines, it was more than clear to me that she was just downright pissed off.

Among other things, she had called him a traitor and accused him of stabbing her in the back by allowing his girlfriend to walk all over her and steal her friends. It was the biggest load of bullshit I had ever heard, and when I told Edward as much, he wholeheartedly agreed. But I could tell how much it hurt him - after reading those messages, he had looked absolutely crestfallen.

If I hadn't wanted to punch Alice before...

"Actually..." Angela's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "She told me she was your future mother-in-law." Her face was a mixture of bewilderment and curiosity. "Bella, is there something you haven't told me?"

"Oh my God!" My cheeks turned crimson. "Angela, no. I promise - if I'm ever getting married, you'll be one of the first to know."

"I should hope so." She grinned. "So, no wedding for you in the nearest future, then."

"Not that I know of." I shook my head firmly, although deep down, I couldn't help but feel a tinge of wistfulness. Maybe some day...

I found Esme waiting for me in a small booth over by the windows, sipping on a _latte_. Her face lit up when she saw me. "Bella, hi! I thought I missed you." She got up and gave me a warm hug.

"Hi, Esme." I smiled. "Or should I say _Mom_?"

She laughed. "I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable with that. In that case, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention." I just waved her apology off. To tell the truth, I didn't mind. She looked relieved. "So, how are you? I don't think I've really talked to you since..." Her smile faded, and I knew she was thinking back to the night of Edward's accident.

I cleared my throat, desperate to change the subject and remove that pained look from her face. "Well, it sure is nice to see you again. You're lucky Angela caught me, though, I was just about to leave." An idea hit me. "But it's not like I'm in a hurry or anything. How about I get some coffee and join you for a little while?"

"Oh, that would be lovely!" Esme looked delighted. "That is, if you're sure it's no inconvenience for you. I wouldn't want to get in the way if you've already made plans."

"No plans and it's no inconvenience," I assured her. "I'll be right back." I returned a moment later with a small cup of coffee for me and two miniature muffins in a napkin. "On the house," I told her with a smile as I put the pastries down on the table.

Esme thanked me profusely, instantly picking up one of them and taking a small bite. "Mm. This is good." She took another bite.

"You can have the other one too, if you'd like," I offered. "I'm not really hungry."

"Oh, that's okay. One is enough for me." She popped the rest of the muffin into her mouth and wiped the crumbs off her fingers with her napkin. "The truth is, I'm having dinner with a... friend tonight, and I don't want to spoil my appetite." I eyed her curiously, and it wasn't lost on me how her cheeks turned slightly pink. "Okay, so it might be a date," she confessed with a small giggle.

"Really?" I wasn't sure how to respond to that. Edward had never mentioned anything about his mother going out with other men after the death of his father, so I had no way of knowing if this was a rare occasion or not. Either way, I noted she looked excited and I found myself being truly happy for her. Still, I had to ask. "That's great, Esme. Um, does Edward know?"

"Yes. I talked to him this morning." For a brief moment, she looked a bit uncomfortable, but she quickly shook it off and smiled. "Well, enough about me. Tell me about your plans for the weekend?"

I shrugged, picking up the other muffin and started breaking it into tiny pieces without really thinking about what I was doing. "I don't know. We haven't made any specific plans. Maybe we'll just stay at home, you know, have a quiet weekend, since neither of us have to work."

There was a twinkle in her eyes. "And when you say 'we', I assume you mean you and Edward?"

"Of course," I nodded without hesitation, feeling my face becoming warm as her smile widened. I just hoped she didn't think I was taking Edward for granted or anything. But judging by her expression, she was pleased as punch. "I mean, I'll have to talk to him about it," I mumbled, trying to hide my embarrassment.

"Oh, like my son wouldn't jump to the opportunity to spend some time with his lovely girlfriend." Esme winked at me. "You think I haven't noticed how his entire face brightens just at the mention of your name? Trust me, dear. He wouldn't have it any other way."

Her words made me feel all warm inside and I couldn't keep the happy grin from spreading on my face. "Well, it goes both ways, then. I can't get enough of him, either." I instantly regretted my choice of words and gave her a sheepish look. "I mean, spending time with him," I hurriedly corrected myself.

She let out a soft snort of amusement. "Relax, Bella, I understood exactly what you meant." I smiled in relief. I really liked talking to Esme, but sometimes it got a little awkward. Then again, I figured that was something that just couldn't be avoided when you were having a conversation with your boyfriend's mother. I said a silent prayer of thanks that Esme was so different from Renee.

At least Edward had _one_ person in his family who was on his side. If only I could say the same thing for myself.

As soon as I had finished that thought, I mentally slapped my forehead. Weeks had passed, and I still hadn't given Charlie a call. Of course, he hadn't made any attempt of contacting me of late, either. But that was just Charlie - he was a man of few words and it wasn't really like him to call unless he actually had something to say.

Still, before I met Edward, we used to talk to each other on the phone almost every week. Guilt welled up inside me. I was a horrible daughter.

But I firmly told myself that was going change, as of today. I made a mental note to call my dad as soon as I got home.

Deep down, though, I knew why I had been putting it off for so long. I was a coward, terrified of confronting him about the things Renee had revealed a couple of weeks ago. If she was telling the truth, then Charlie had been oblivious the whole time. And the only way for me to find out for sure was asking him straight out.

That was definitely not something I looked forward to. At all.

I pushed the thought away for now and turned my attention back to Esme. "So, where are you going tonight?"

To my surprise - and amusement - she actually blushed. "Well, he offered to cook for me at home. Isn't that sweet?" She sounded like an excited school girl with a crush. I smiled, hoping everything would work out the way she hoped. If anyone deserved a second chance at love, it had to be Esme.

"A man who cooks? You've better hold on to that one," I teased, causing her blush to deepen. "So tell me more. Is this your first date? What's his name?"

Esme took another sip of her _latte_ and put the glass down. "Third date, actually. We met through a mutual acquaintance a few weeks ago." She hesitated a little. "I did in fact see him once before that, but..." her voice trailed off, and just for a second, her eyes seemed to cloud over with sadness.

But then she shook her head, as if to clear it, and went on, "Anyway, he's a good man. I told him I wanted to take things slow, see where this is taking us before we jump into anything, and he respects that."

I couldn't help but wonder whether she had avoided to give me his name on purpose, or if it was just a coincidence. Probably the latter. I couldn't see any reason for such secrecy.

"That's good," I told her. "I bet Edward and Alice are happy for you."

To be honest, I didn't know why I had thrown Alice's name out like that, especially since just thinking about her made me uneasy and irritated. It was like a part of me had subconsciously been waiting for a chance to bring her up, though, and I suddenly felt a little guilty. The last thing I wanted was for Esme to think I was fishing for information about her daughter.

And yet I couldn't help myself. There were some things I really needed to know, and I just couldn't think of anyone else to ask. Edward was not an option, simply because I already knew he wouldn't have any answers. But I had to be real careful not to step on anyone's toes. This was not about stilling my curiosity. I just wanted to understand.

"I'd like to think so." Esme let out a soft sigh. "Edward has never been comfortable discussing my love life, or lack thereof, for that matter. I can't say I blame him, though - I doubt any child wants to hear that his mother is in fact a person who has needs as well. I'm talking about closeness and affection," she clarified when she saw the look on my face. "No one wants to be alone forever."

I couldn't argue with that. "And what about Alice?" I asked carefully. Holding my breath, I watched how Esme's expression changed. A sudden thought occurred to me. Could it really be that Alice was as opposed to the idea of her mother dating anyone as she was to the fact that I was in a relationship with her brother? And if so, what did that even mean? That her obvious hatred went beyond me?

Maybe it wasn't even about me at all. Didn't Edward suggest something similar once?

I figured it didn't really make a difference, though. Either way, Alice was still hurting him with her behavior, and that was just not acceptable. Whatever her problem was, be it with me, herself or something else entirely, she had no right to take it out on Edward.

"Alice is Alice," was Esme's cryptic response. "There is nothing I want more in the world than for both my children to be happy." A pause. "My daughter may not be in the best of places right now, but deep down, she has a big heart, even if it doesn't always seem that way." She glanced at me. "I'm sure she'll come around eventually, dear. But even if she doesn't, just remember that my son loves you."

And here I had been trying to be subtle, hoping she wouldn't realize what I was really asking. I had to smile. Esme sure was one clever woman. "And I love him as well," I told her sincerely. "More than anything." She reached over the table to cover my hand with hers, and for a moment, I was almost certain I saw tears in her eyes.

Esme and I talked for a little while longer before she told me she needed to get going, joking about taking up enough of my time. I found that I had come to really enjoy her company, and once again I was filled with gratitude that Edward's mom was nothing like Renee. While a part of me was ashamed to admit it, the truth was that Esme treated me more like a daughter than my own mother had ever done.

It was strange how I felt so comfortable with Esme, seeing how we had only met a few times. I couldn't explain it, but it was like I had known her for years. Then again, I figured some people just clicked. It was the same way with Angela. Even though we only saw each other at work, we would always fall into an easy conversation, talking and joking like old friends. I felt like I could be myself with her.

I never felt like that around my old friends, like for example, Jessica. She could be quite fun to be around, sure, but I would never dream of telling her something too personal, knowing if I did, it would be all over town the next day. Sometimes I felt like I had grown up and she was stuck in high school, even though it had been years since we graduated. In a way, I found it sad.

Then again, Jess was hardly the only one because they were all like that. Come to think of it, it was more pathetic than sad, and I honestly couldn't say I missed those people at all. Maybe because I probably wouldn't have chosen to be friends with them in the first place, had it not been for Renee. After all, they had money, _and_ were all coming from respectable families.

Oh, and of course they lived in the right part of town. Mustn't forget that.

Was I being sarcastic? Yes, a little bit.

When I got home, I headed straight for the kitchen. Edward was supposed to be coming over in a little while, and I thought I could prepare something for us to eat, something simple that could be served cold, like a pasta salad or some sandwiches. I wasn't hungry at the moment, but I had only eaten about half a bagel for lunch and I knew my body needed more than that.

It had almost been two weeks since I last made myself throw up to get rid of something I'd eaten, and I did my best not to skip any meals these days, even though I still didn't eat much. I wouldn't say I actually _enjoyed_ it, but at least I was able to ingest small amounts of food without feeling guilty or sick to my stomach, which was definitely an improvement compared to how it used to be.

I had just finished slicing a couple of tomatoes for the salad and was about to start on the cucumber when I remembered that I was supposed to call my father. Hesitating a little, I then put the knife down and wiped my hands on the kitchen towel. Then I hesitated some more before finally grabbing the phone with a heavy sigh, walked into the other room and slumped down on the couch.

It was now or never. Charlie's name was one of the first on my contact list and it didn't take long to find his number. I took a deep breath and pushed the call button.

Of course, I knew I was being ridiculous. This was my dad, and I had never been nervous or afraid of talking to him before. We may not have the strongest father/daughter relationship in the world, but I knew he loved me. It was just that with everything that had happened lately, with Renee, I suddenly didn't know what to expect from him.

It was ringing.

Oh, and I should probably also inform him that I was now in a serious relationship. It was about time he'd find out, and hopefully he wouldn't react too badly to the news. Maybe it was a good thing I didn't have to break it to him in person. Again, it was the coward in me talking. After all, I was an adult. I just had to make sure Charlie remembered that.

"Hello?" Charlie's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Bella? Is that you?" He sounded both surprised and hopeful.

I let out the breath I had been holding. "Yeah, it's me. Hi, Dad. How are you?"

"I'm good, kiddo. Can't complain." I noted that he sounded genuinely happy to hear from me. "What about you?"

"Well..." I realized there was no simple answer to that question. "I guess you could say there's been a lot going on lately, but all in all, I'm fine. So-"

To my utter surprise, he cut me off, "Bella, you have no idea how glad I am you finally decided to give me a call. I've been thinking about you a lot over the last couple of days. In fact, I almost called you myself half a dozen times. But..." he cleared his throat, "I didn't want to bother you. To be honest, I wasn't sure you'd want to talk to me."

"Huh?" It took a moment for his words to sink in. I wasn't used to my dad being this talkative. "What do you mean, Dad? Why wouldn't I want to talk to you?"

He sighed. "Okay, here's the deal. About a week ago, I got a pretty disturbing phone call from your mother. She had quite a few things she felt compelled to share with me." A pause. "Mainly about you."

My eyes widened. Judging by the tone of his voice, he was serious, but it made absolutely no sense to me. As far as I knew, Renee never called Charlie. Ever. So what the hell was she up to now? She actually had the nerve to contact him just so she could whine and bitch about me? Unbelievable! Just what exactly was she trying to achieve with that? Did she really expect him to agree with her?

Oh, God, what if he did? I swallowed hard. "Dad, can I just say-"

Again, he interrupted me, "Bella, I'm sorry, but I'm just gonna come out and say this. I think your mother's gone completely batty. That's the only explanation I can come up with. The woman's finally lost it."

"I... what?" I wasn't sure I'd heard him correctly. Did he just call my mom crazy? A nervous giggle threatened to bubble up inside me, but I managed to hold it back. "What exactly did she say to you?"

"I'm telling you, Bells, I don't know where to even begin." He sounded exasperated. "Her words of greetings were, 'Charlie, you've better do something about your daughter because she's about to ruin all of our lives'." I snorted in disbelief, but waited for him to continue. "Naturally, I was concerned at first, imagining all kinds of horrible..." his voice trailed off. "Anyway, I asked her to elaborate."

I shook my head, knowing he couldn't see me. "And?"

"And..." I could tell by the way he hesitated that he was uncomfortable. "That's when she told me in dramatic terms that you met someone. A man." A pause. "She insisted he had some kind of hold on you, that he had managed to turn you against her."

"She actually said that?" I was fuming. "I can't believe she would drag you into this! It's not true, Dad. Renee brought this on herself by acting like a b..." I stopped myself at the last second, not wanting to risk having my father scold me for foul language by referring to his ex wife as a bitch. Then again, seeing how he had basically called her a nutcase a moment ago, chances were he would just agree with me.

I let out a long breath, forcing myself to clear my thoughts and stay focused. "I'm serious, Dad. Edward's shown Renee a lot more patience than she deserves and he's been nothing but polite to her, even though she's been horrible to him from the start. She actually had the nerve to..." I was about to tell him about Jacob when I heard him mumble something I couldn't make out. "What?"

"I said, 'so that's his real name'. Edward?" My dad let out a dark chuckle. "I'm afraid the things Renee had to say about him were less than flattering. She also had another name for him. One that I'd rather not repeat."

For that I was grateful. I didn't want to hear it. I had some ideas, though. Just thinking about Renee bad-mouthing Edward to Charlie when he had done absolutely nothing to deserve it made me sick.

He went on, more serious than I could ever remember hearing him before, "Anyway, I asked your mother the only question I could come up with at the time, the only thing that matters to me. I asked if this man was making you happy." I held my breath, waiting for him to reveal Renee's response. "And she demanded to know - quite heatedly - what your happiness had to do with anything. I'm sorry, Bells."

I felt a lump form in my throat. "For what?"

"I don't know. For not realizing..." He sighed. "Bella, let me ask you this. _Are_ you happy with him?"

Tears were prickling my eyes and yet I couldn't keep the smile off my face as I thought about Edward. "Yes, Dad. Very much so."

"That's all I need to know." There was relief in his voice. "I'd like to meet him some time, though. I promise not to embarrass you, or try to intimidate him by cleaning my gun in front of him or anything."

I couldn't help but snort and rolled my eyes in amusement. "That's good to know."

"So, would you mind a visit from your old man within the next couple of weeks?" Charlie sounded hopeful. "I've been thinking about taking a short vacation for a while now. This way, I'd kill two birds with one stone. Plus I'd get to meet that young man of yours. Of course, I would stay at a hotel. What do you say?"

A part of me was nervous about introducing Edward to my father, but at the same time, the thought filled me with excitement.

"Sure, Dad. I'd like that."


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

**Bella**

Edward took the news about my father's upcoming visit surprisingly well. I wouldn't have blamed him for being a bit skeptical after the way things had turned out with Renee, but he just responded with a somewhat absent 'sure, love', when I told him Charlie was coming to stay for the weekend and that I wanted the two of them to meet.

My guess was, either he figured meeting Charlie couldn't possibly be any worse than meeting Renee, which was pretty ironic considering the fact that my dad just happened to be chief of police while my mom worked at a beauty shop, or - which I found to be more likely - he had other, more troubling things on his mind.

Like for example, his sister.

Unlike what I had been hoping, Alice had shown no signs whatsoever of coming around. Or as Edward himself had put it - 'pulling her head out of her ass and stop being a bitch'. A few days ago, he had thrown her an olive branch by sending her a text, saying that if she was finally capable of sitting down and have a civilized conversation without irrational accusations or insults, then she could give him a call.

So far, there had only been silence.

While Edward firmly insisted he didn't care, I knew it was hurting him deeply. He was furious at Alice for her childish behavior, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that he also missed her. Or to be more accurate, he missed the person she used to be. My heart ached for him, and it pained me that I couldn't do more to help.

In a way, our situations were similar, but they were also different. Renee had always been close minded and selfish, never really putting anyone else's needs before her own, even though she would make a great show of pretending. But Alice - at least according to Edward and Rosalie - used to be kind and supportive, not hesitating to defend the people she loved and cared for.

So what happened to her? What made her turn into a bitter shadow of her former self? Sure, being betrayed by your best friend had to be both traumatic and painful, but was that really the only reason?

I couldn't help but feel like I was missing an important piece of the puzzle. After all, Edward had also been hurt by Vicky's cruel actions - even more so than Alice - and while the humiliating incident had obviously done a number on his self-esteem, it didn't leave _him_ coldhearted and hateful.

Deep down, I knew trying to figure Alice out would only give me a headache and was probably just a waste of time. But still, sometimes I couldn't help but wonder.

"So, I guess this means we'll be sleeping separately for the next couple of nights," Edward stated suddenly as he was helping me unpack a large bag of groceries, causing me to frown.

"What? Why?" I was just about to put a carton of milk in the fridge and stopped in my tracks, staring at him in confusion. He just raised a brow in response. "Edward, I told you, my dad will be staying at a hotel. It was his idea. There's no reason we can't spend the night together as usual."

"Oh." He looked like he was about to say something more, but clearly decided against it and turned his attention back to the groceries.

"Don't worry," I teased. "He already promised not to bring his gun. You'll be perfectly safe."

He looked up and rolled his eyes. "Very funny."

"I thought so." I smiled at him. "Seriously, we're both adults. Charlie will understand." My smile faltered a little when I saw the uncertain look on his face. "Unless... You don't want to stay with me?"

"Of course I do." His face softened and he gently stroked my cheek in a reassuring gesture. "I don't ever want to be apart from you if I can help it."

And just like that, my smile was back, threatening to split my face in two. "Me neither. I guess it's settled, then. We should probably stay at my place, though. It seems more practical since my dad will be here expecting to spend time with us. Then we won't have to go back and forth."

"Yeah, that would just be inconvenient." Edward was quiet for a moment, although I could tell he had something more on his mind. When I just looked at him expectantly, he finally spoke again, quietly, "Bella, do you ever think about..." he hesitated, running a hand through his hair, "I mean, um, have you ever considered..."

My heart started beating faster as I got the feeling whatever he was trying to ask me would be of major importance. "What?" I whispered breathlessly.

Edward swallowed visibly. "It's just that we practically live together as it is. I'm not saying that's a bad thing - I love falling asleep with you in my arms and then waking up together in the morning, and if it was up to me, I'd never have it any other way. Hell, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself - I know we haven't even been together that long, but it just feels..."

"...right," I finished with a nod, because all of a sudden Edward's nervous ramblings made absolutely sense to me. It both scared me a little and filled me with excitement. "Edward, are you suggesting what I think? That we should just... move in together for real?"

He quickly lowered his eyes, as if he was suddenly afraid to look at me. "Well, not today, obviously," he mumbled, clearly uncomfortable. "I just thought... maybe someday..."

"Yes!" I blurted out before he could finish, watching how his entire body seemed to freeze for a second before his eyes flew to mine, his face a mixture of doubt and hope. Maybe it _was_ a little soon for us to be discussing this - like Edward said, we hadn't been together very long - but to be honest, I didn't really care. I knew what I wanted. And besides, it wasn't like he was asking me to marry him or anything.

Sure, moving in together was a big step. But I was fully convinced it would happen sooner or later, anyway. Because Edward and I were meant to be. This wasn't just some fling. He was The One.

My soul mate.

He stared at me with wide, skeptical eyes, like he wasn't sure whether or not I was serious. "Bella..." he started huskily, and his voice cracked a little. "Are you...?"

"Yes, yes, yes!" I was practically bouncing up and down now. "I'll move in with you. Or you can move in with me. Or we'll find a new place... it doesn't matter. My point is, yes." I swallowed. "I want us to live together. For real."

The biggest, most beautiful smile appeared on his face, his eyes sparkling as he reached out a trembling hand to cup my cheek. "Really?" I could only nod. "God, Bella, there's nothing I'd want more. Just... You don't think it's too soon?" The tone of his voice told me he was looking for my reassurance.

"Not if we're both a hundred percent sure this is what we want." I briefly closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, reveling in the feeling of his warm hand against my skin. "Then it can't be too soon. I love you, Edward. And I want this. More than anything."

"When?" he asked softly. I opened my mouth but he hurried to add, "There's no rush or anything. I was just wondering. And..." he looked deeply into my eyes and held my gaze, "I love you, too." I beamed at him.

"I guess we should sit down and really think this through," I told him after giving it a moment's thought. "I mean, we don't want to make any rash decisions. First we need to decide which apartment to keep, if any of them. And then we have to come to an agreement on how to split the costs. And-"

Edward interrupted me with a small chuckle. "Yeah, I hear you, love. There certainly are a lot of things to consider. How about we'll just lay low for the weekend and then continue this discussion next week, after your father's gone back to Forks? Then we can talk about how we're going to do this."

I nodded, although I couldn't help but tease him a little, "You're just worried about my dad's reaction to us moving in together, aren't you?"

"No," he responded quickly - a little _too_ quickly. "I just don't want to overwhelm him. After all, he just found out about my existence less than a week ago. And..." he shrugged and mumbled something I couldn't make out.

"What?" I asked gently.

He sighed. "We still don't know if he'll accept me. I mean, you said he talked to Renee, and I'm willing to bet she didn't have a single positive thing to say about me. Besides, he hasn't seen me yet. For all we know, he could-"

"Edward, stop," I cut him off, giving him a warning look. "Please. Don't do this." He got a somewhat guilty look on his face, but remained silent. I let out a sigh. "Sweetie, I promise you..." I stopped as he shook his head.

"Don't do that. Don't make any promises you might not be able to keep." He reached for my hand. "Bella, it's okay. I want your father to approve of me, but even if he doesn't, I can handle it. Don't worry about me."

I chewed down on my bottom lip, fighting back the urge to argue with him. It wasn't that I didn't believe he meant it. But it was just so frustrating to hear him talk like that. I wished he would seriously consider seeing a therapist, because it was painfully obvious that nothing I said would really make him see things differently. So maybe he was trying. But just not hard enough.

And I hated it. It wasn't Edward's fault, though - I knew that. He was not to blame for the way other people had caused him to doubt himself over the years, making him think he was less of a person than them, when in reality, he was so much better. I could dwell on the unfairness of it all until it ate me up inside. But it would be pointless. I knew that as well.

I decided to change the subject. "So, I told Charlie I'd pick him up at the airport tomorrow. Do you want to come?"

He smiled apologetically and shook his head. "I'm sure your dad would like to spend some quality time alone with you before he'll meet me. The two of you should take the opportunity to catch up. I'll come by later."

"Okay." I figured that was probably a good idea. "But just so you know?" I winked at him. "You won't be able to avoid him forever."

Edward let out a snort. "I'll be there. Don't worry." He paused. "Besides, I thought I'd stop by my mom's before I head over to your place. She called me the other day complaining about how she hasn't seen me in almost a week."

"Oh, well, you don't want to get on Esme's bad side." I smiled. "Tell her I said 'hi'." That's when I remembered something. "And if it's not too awkward for you, make sure to ask her how her date went the other night. I think she'd appreciate it."

"Yeah, I could do that." He grimaced. "Or I could just pretend it never happened." Seeing the look on my face, he waved his hand in dismissal. "I'm kidding. It sounded like she's really into this guy. If that's so, then I'm happy for her."

"You should tell her that. I'm sure she'd be glad to hear you feel that way." I threw a careful look at him before I continued, "Speaking of, have you met him yet?" Edward shook his head in the negative. "But you know his name?"

"Sure. It's Carl, something." He frowned. "You know, I don't think she actually told me his last name. If she did, I can't remember."

I nodded in understanding. "Maybe it slipped her mind. She did seem to be pretty smitten." When he didn't respond right away, I nudged him gently. "Is it too weird for you? Not sure how I'd react if Charlie told me he has a girlfriend." My eyes widened at the strange thought. "Oh, God! Maybe he _is_ seeing someone and he didn't want to tell me over the phone? I wouldn't know."

Edward patted my hand in a calming gesture. "Relax. Either way, it'll be okay." He paused. "What about Renee? I just assumed she was single. You never said anything about that."

I shrugged. "When I was seventeen, she got married to a guy named Phil. He was a professional baseball player at the time. Renee was crazy about him, or at least it seemed that way in the beginning. He was almost ten years younger than her, but he was pretty cool. I liked him. But they hadn't even been married for a year when Renee told me they were getting a divorce. He was gone the next day."

"Huh." Edward nodded slowly. "Did she tell you why?"

"Not really," I told him truthfully. "She just said it didn't work out, but I always suspected it might've had something to do with the fact that he got injured and wouldn't be able to play anymore. Sounds awful, I know, but..." I shrugged again, "I don't know. It _is_ Renee we're talking about. I wouldn't put anything past her."

We were both quiet for a few seconds. Then I went on, "After that, she's gone out with a couple of different men, but nothing serious. Not that I know of, anyway."

"Sounds a bit odd, if you ask me." I gave Edward a confused look and he hurried on, "Don't take this the wrong way, it's just that she seemed so obsessed with finding you a successful partner. Shouldn't she be more concerned about finding someone for herself?"

I hadn't really thought about it like that before, but I could totally see what he meant. Once again I got the feeling Renee had been trying to relive her life through me all along, which annoyed me to no end.

Well, I'd like to see her do that now. She was on her own.

"No point in trying to solve the mystery that is Renee's mind," I sighed in response to Edward's question. "Who knows what her motives are? Until she starts acting like a real mother, I want nothing to do with her. And even then, I don't think I could really forgive her."

"I hear you and I don't blame you." Edward was silent for a moment before adding sarcastically, "Guess it's safe to say you and I both could've done better at the family lottery. Neither of us hit the jackpot, that's for sure." A somewhat bitter chuckle escaped him and there was a hint of sadness in his voice.

I offered him a small smile. "At least you have Esme. She's wonderful." His face softened and he nodded in agreement. I thought about Charlie, wondering - and not for the first time - what my life would have been like if Renee had just walked out on my father all those years ago and left me in his care. Maybe then my body wouldn't be so damaged today.

But I also wouldn't have met Edward. When I thought of it that way, I decided it had all been worth it. Because without him, I wouldn't be... I searched my mind for the right word but came up blank. I just wouldn't be, period. Without Edward, I would be nothing. Just lonely and miserable. And the worst part was, I probably wouldn't even know it.

The way you could fool yourself was downright frightening.

"Hey, where did you go?"

Edward's worried voice snapped me out of the reverie and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "I'm still here," I assured him, leaning in to give him a soft peck on the lips. He smiled and slid his arms around my back, as if to prevent me from moving away. Like I even wanted to! I was more than happy to melt into his embrace, and our lips met again.

I wouldn't mind staying in his arms forever.

* * *

><p>"You seem nervous," Charlie stated as I was maneuvering the car through the rush hour traffic the next day. "Renee been bothering you?" I shook my head. "Huh. You didn't tell her I was coming, I hope?"<p>

"We're still not on speaking terms," I admitted, glancing briefly in his direction. "So the answer would be no. I haven't talked to her in two weeks. Not since..." I stopped myself, worrying my bottom lip between my teeth as I tried to decide if this was really the time to tell him about Renee's ruthless scheming.

Of course, Charlie picked up on my hesitation right away. "Since when? What exactly did she do, Bells? I'd like to hear your side of the story."

My mind made up, I put on a strained smile. "How about I'll tell you about it when we get home? I'd rather not discuss Renee while I'm driving."

He grunted in acceptance. "Yeah, that's probably a wise decision. The woman tend to get on your nerves, even when she's not around. You should never drive while you're agitated."

"Don't I know it?" I muttered to myself, shuddering as I recalled the night of Edward's accident. Weeks had passed and I still felt sick to my stomach whenever I thought about it. To think that I had come so close to losing him was almost more than I could handle. It was amazing how quickly he had recovered, though. He had been extremely lucky, no question about it.

Ten minutes later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and let my father inside. It was the first time he saw it, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't even a little nervous about what he would think. "So, this is my place," I told him lamely, as if that wasn't obvious. "Um, I guess I should give you the tour? Or... you must be tired after the flight. Would you like something to drink? I make a mean cup of coffee."

"Relax, Bells." Charlie looked amused. "Just show me around. Then we'll sit down and talk, and I won't say no to that coffee. Okay?" I nodded with a weak smile.

Giving Charlie 'the tour' didn't take very long, and before I knew it, we were sitting in my small living room, each with a large cup of steaming coffee in front of us. I had hurried home from work to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies just for this occasion, and now I offered one to my dad before picking up one for myself, taking a small nibble.

He hummed in approval. "These are great. I take it you still love to bake? You used to make your own brownies and cinnamon rolls before you were ten, and then sell them to the neighbors when we couldn't eat anymore. Do you remember?"

I had actually forgotten about that, but now it was coming back to me. "I guess I was destined to end up at Starbucks all along, huh?"

He huffed. "Destined? I don't believe in that nonsense. You should do what makes you happy, and if that means working behind a counter serving coffee and pastries, then I'm all for it. If not, there's nothing stopping you from looking for something else. Who knows, you might open your own bakery one day. Or you could go back to school, study to become a doctor. My point is, you always have a choice."

I allowed his words to sink in. He was right, of course. "You should tell that to Renee."

"I might just do that." He frowned. "But then I'd actually have to speak to that crazy harpy again. Maybe I could just send her a letter. Think she would read it?"

I let out a snort and shrugged. "You know, it feels kind of weird hearing you talk about her that way. Not saying you're out of line, but you've never said a bad word about her before."

"Well, you should've heard the things I called her in my head." Charlie shook his head with a dark chuckle. "Or then again, maybe not." When I just watched him silently, he sighed. "Bella, all jokes aside, I truly believed you'd be better off living with your mother when she decided to leave me all those years ago, but that doesn't mean I liked it. I only wanted the best for you, but it killed me to lose you to her."

"Dad..." I felt a lump in my throat. "You never lost me. Not really."

"I practically missed you growing up." He was dead serious now. "Only seeing you a few times a year wasn't nearly enough for me, but I didn't want to make things harder for you by asking for more. Renee said..." he stopped, suddenly looking angry. "Anyway, I'm starting to see I've been a fool."

"What do you mean?" I asked quietly, thinking this was it - everything was finally about to come out in the open. I just hoped we would both be able to handle it.

"You tell me." He watched me closely. "I need you to be honest, Bella. Tell me how Renee's been treating you all these years." There was an almost pleading note in his voice, like he deep down already knew the truth, but was desperately hanging on to the hope that he - against all odds - would be wrong.

I could sense his rising panic, lingering just below the surface, and instantly took pity on him. "Honestly? It could've been a lot worse." Seeing he was about to say something, I hurried on explaining, "She was never mean or anything. I mean, it wasn't like she would ever hurt me. She just... In her own way, she was just taking care of me, I guess."

Charlie's eyes narrowed skeptically. "Are you actually defending her behavior?"

"What? No!" I frowned. Was I? I certainly didn't mean to make it come out that way. "I'm just saying there are people out there who've been through worse, that's all. For one thing, I've never felt neglected or unsafe in my own home. Before I had a job, Renee would always buy me stuff, and-"

He cut me off, "There are some things in life all the money in the world can't buy, Bella."

"I know that!" Now I just felt stupid. "I'm just trying to ease your worries, but it's all coming out wrong."

"Well, don't do that. I asked for the truth. That phone call from your mom was like a wake-up call from hell, and now I need to understand..." he hesitated, searching for the right words, I assumed. "Bella, the things she said... This goes beyond a mother's disapproval of her daughter's boyfriend, am I right?"

I sighed in defeat. "You really want to know how she's been treating me? Fine. I'll give you an example. She wanted me to break up with the man I love because he works in a grocery store and happens to weigh a little more than the average person, so she invited both of us over for dinner, only so she could set me up with someone else right in front of him."

Ignoring the look of horror on Charlie's face, I went on, my voice trembling with anger, "And that's basically what it's been like my whole life. Renee doesn't care about what _I_ want. Never has. She's been trying to turn me into this shallow mini version of herself for as long as I can remember, and according to her, everyone who doesn't fit what _she_ considers to be the norm are just a big waste of space."

Charlie looked absolutely stunned for a moment. Then he spoke up, carefully, "Well, she left that part of the story out, which I have to say doesn't surprise me." He shook his head in disbelief. "Jesus, Bella, this is even worse than I imagined."

I wrung my hands in my lap, thinking he hadn't even hear the worst part yet - the fact that Renee had most likely been lying to both of us for the last ten years. No more beating around the bush. It was time to tell him, and risk all hell breaking loose.

"Dad..." I started, only to be interrupted by a knock on the door. Having been so absorbed in my conversation with Charlie, it took a few seconds before I remembered that Edward was supposed to come over tonight. And by the look of things, he had just arrived.

My boyfriend was here, just outside the door, waiting to be introduced to my father. It looked like the rest of our awkward heart-to-heart would just have to wait. I jumped up, both eager and nervous at the same time, and gave my dad a pleading look. "Just... Please, be nice." I swallowed. "He's important."

I watched as understanding flashed across Charlie's face. "So, I guess this means I'm finally about to meet the man who's stolen your heart." He responded to my warning look with an eye-roll and held up both hands in an exaggerated gesture, "See? No gun, just like I promised. No reason to glare at me like that. I'll be good."

Praying that he meant it, I managed a small smile and went to open the door.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Edward**

"Hi, Mom."

"Edward! I'm so glad you could make it. Come on in." My mom sounded both happy and excited to see me, but I noted how she carefully avoided to meet my eyes and I instantly became suspicious. She had all but begged me to come over, and now I couldn't help but wonder if she could possibly have some hidden motive.

A sudden thought hit me and I hesitated in the doorway. "Are you alone?" She blinked in confusion and I clarified, "If _she's_ here, then I'm leaving. In that case you might as well tell me now."

Mom looked genuinely surprised for a second. "Who are you...? Oh." She shook her head. "No, Edward, your sister's not here. It's just me."

"Well, okay, then." I breathed a sigh of relief, finally stepping inside and closing the door behind me. "Sorry, Mom, I'm just not in a mood for dealing with her tonight." Or any other night, for that matter, I thought bitterly to myself. The truth was, I had reached the point where simply the mention of Alice filled me with annoyance and frustration.

She gave me a sad smile. "I understand, honey, but it tears me up inside that it has come to this. You and Alice used to be so close. Maybe if the two of you just sat down and-"

"Talking is not going to solve anything," I interrupted her firmly. "She's made her choice, and I've made mine. Can we just leave it at that?"

"For now, I suppose." She didn't sound too pleased, but clearly decided to let the matter drop. For that I was grateful, seeing how I was already anxious about meeting Chief Swan tonight and didn't need to add an argument with my mother to the mix. Even though she might sympathize with me, she was Alice's mom as well, and I knew she would do anything in her power to persuade me to forgive my sister.

Yeah... Not going to happen. Besides, it wasn't like Alice actually wanted to talk to me, anyway - she had made that perfectly clear. Hell, I didn't even know _what_ she wanted anymore. She had become completely unreasonable and it made me uneasy just thinking about it, so I preferred to push it all to the back of my mind for as long as I could.

However, a stubborn little voice kept whispering that I couldn't keep my head buried in the sand forever. Sooner or later, Alice and I would just have to face each other.

But it wasn't happening tonight.

"Are you hungry?" My mother's voice brought me back to the present. "I made apple pie this morning. Your favorite." She sounded hopeful.

"Um..." I was torn. On one hand, I absolutely loved Mom's homemade apple pie. But on the other, I was trying really hard to cut back on desserts and stuff like that, since I knew it wasn't good for me.

I must have hesitated a moment too long, because she smiled and winked at me. "Just a small piece? I know you want some." I held back a sigh of defeat, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

"Yeah, sure, Mom. Thanks." She beamed at me and hurried into the kitchen, only to return a few minutes later with two dessert plates, handing one of them to me. The pie looked really good and tasted even better, but I was firmly set on not going for seconds like I would normally do.

"Listen, Edward, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you about." Mom folded her hands awkwardly in her lap. "I'm not quite sure how to say this..."

I put my plate down and eyed her cautiously, wondering what was going on. If it wasn't about Alice, then I didn't understand what it could possibly be. Unless... I suppressed a groan as realization was slowly dawning on me. "Is this about that guy you've been seeing? What was his name again? Carl? Is it serious?"

"Actually..." She did something I had never seen my mother do before - she blushed. "His real name is Carlisle. Edward, I know this may seem sudden to you, but every time I see that man, my feelings for him grow a little stronger. I can't say I love him, because that would just be too soon, but I think maybe..." she took a deep breath. "You asked if it's serious. I think we're heading in that direction."

"Wow..." I let out a gust of air, not sure how to respond to my mother's revelation. The look on her face told me she was worried about my reaction, but I wasn't upset, not really. I was just at a loss for words, because to be perfectly honest, I had never thought this day would actually come.

The day she would be over my father.

In all honesty, I didn't want her to spend the rest of her life alone - I wanted my mom to be happy. Almost ten years had passed since Dad died and I wouldn't have blamed her for wanting to move on sooner, but I figured she just hadn't been ready until now. I guess a part of her had died along with him.

I wondered briefly how much Alice knew about this, but wasn't about to ask. Realizing she was still waiting for some kind of response from me, I forced a smile. "I'm happy for you, Mom. Really." I paused. "So, when will I get to meet him?"

Having expected her to be all excited and immediately starting to make plans for some kind of get-together, I was more than a little surprised when she lowered her eyes and appeared to be uncomfortable. "Well, actually..." she hesitated for a few seconds, clearly choosing her next words with care. "That's the thing, Edward. You've already met him."

I frowned, shaking my head in protest. "No, Mom. I'm pretty sure I've never met anyone named Carlisle. You must be mistaken."

She swallowed visibly. "I'm not mistaken, honey. His last name is Cullen. Carlisle Cullen."

_Cullen?_ I desperately tried to remember where I had heard that name before, because it definitely sounded familiar, but I came up blank. "I'm sorry, Mom, I don't..." I shrugged helplessly. "Help me out a little?"

"He works at the hospital." She carefully met my eyes, no doubt searching for some kind of recognition from me. "Dr. Cullen? Don't you remember?"

No? Wait...

Images of a tall, blond man with kind eyes and a calm, sympathetic voice flashed before my eyes as I was suddenly taken back to the night I was in the car accident. I snapped out of it and gave my mom a look of disbelief. "Dr. Cullen? You're dating the doctor who treated me when I was in the hospital? Are you serious?"

She reached out to grab my arm, as if she was afraid I would get up and leave. "Please, Edward, don't be upset with me. It's not like either of us planned for this to happen. It just... did."

"I'm not upset," I told her with a sigh, feeling her grip relax a little. "Really, I'm just a little surprised." I nearly laughed at that, thinking it had to be the understatement of the fucking year. "I think I just need a moment to let it all sink in."

The relief on her face was palpable. "Of course, I understand. Take all the time you need. I know this must come as a shock to you. I mean, who would've thought...?" her voice trailed off and she shook her head. "Anyway, I'd really like for the two of you to meet again - I assure you it would be under much better circumstances this time. What do you say?" Her eyes were full of hope.

"Sure, Mom." I honestly couldn't think of any reason to say no. It wasn't like I had any say in who my mother chose to go out with. And besides, I figured she could have done a lot worse than Dr. Cullen. From what I recalled, he seemed pretty cool. I had actually liked him. Still, I knew the thought of him dating my mother would take some time getting used to.

At least I had gotten something to take my mind off the fact that I was meeting Bella's father in less than an hour. A part of me was grateful for the distraction, because the more I thought about it, the more nervous I became. Bella seemed so excited, and I had done my best to hide how I really felt about the whole thing.

In a way, I felt bad about it, seeing how Bella and I had discussed the importance of being honest with each other more than once. But at the same time, I felt like the truth wouldn't really do any good in this case. If she knew I was much more uncomfortable than I was letting on, then she might want to call it off, and that would just be wrong.

This was obviously very important to her, and for Bella's sake, I really hoped her father would be more open-minded and accepting than Renee.

Later, when I was driving over to Bella's place, I made the decision not to mention anything about my mom and Dr. Cullen until after her father had left and it was just the two of us. Knowing she had a way of seeing right through me and would most likely sense that something was off right away, I could only hope she'd be willing to let it go for now.

She didn't need me to unload more of my crap on her tonight. It seemed like there was always something - we could never catch a break and just be. If it wasn't Alice testing our patience, then there was something else. I was sick and tired of all the fucking drama, and no doubt Bella had to be as well.

Parking the car outside her apartment building, I hurried inside and headed straight for the elevator. Bella lived on the second floor, and I always avoided the stairs if I could help it. Besides, if I wanted to make a good first impression on her dad, I didn't think showing up on her doorstep a panting mess was the right way to go.

As I raised my fist to knock on the door to her apartment, I briefly wondered if maybe I should have brought her flowers or something. Surely that would look good in the chief's book. But then again, since this wasn't actually a date, it might just have the opposite effect and make me look stupid.

It only took a moment before the door swung open and my girl was standing in front of me, her face bright and happy. "Hi, baby." She grinned widely at me and took a step back, motioning for me to enter. "I've missed you today," she admitted almost shyly. "Come in."

Taking a deep breath, I gave her a soft peck on the cheek before stepping past her into the apartment, my own smile mirroring hers as I took in her appearance. She was wearing a dark blue top and a pair of black pants, her long, brown hair hanging loose and falling in soft waves over her shoulders, and she looked absolutely radiant.

Of course, Bella was always stunning, but tonight she seemed to be glowing. And I made a silent promise to do whatever I could to make sure that smile stayed on her face.

"You're beautiful," I told her sincerely, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. If possible, her smile grew even bigger, and I couldn't resist cupping her cheek and pressing my lips to hers. A soft moan escaped her and she immediately slipped her arms around my neck, eagerly responding to the kiss. For a few seconds, I was in heaven.

And then I was brought back to reality by the horrible sound of a throat being cleared behind me. I felt Bella tense up a little and pull away from me, looking somewhat embarrassed, although she was still smiling and she didn't let go of me completely. Her hand slipped into mine and she pulled me with her further into the room. Inhaling sharply, I braced myself for what was coming,

"Dad..." Bella was blushing adorably. "I'd like you to meet Edward Masen - my boyfriend." She turned to me, her eyes sparkling. "And Edward, this is my father - Charlie Swan."

The man wasn't smiling, but at least he wasn't glaring at me, either. Instead he just watched me with interest. I gulped. "Pleased to meet you, Chief Swan."

"Likewise, Edward, but please, just call me Charlie." He stepped forward and offered me his hand in greeting. I shook it gratefully and even managed a small smile. Glancing at Bella, I noted she was beaming, and I figured she was probably happy that her father hadn't pulled out his gun and killed me on the spot for having the nerve to fondle his daughter in front of him.

"So..." Bella started, but was interrupted before she could finish whatever she was going to say.

"Hey, sweetheart, if you don't mind, I wouldn't say no to a refill." Charlie held up his empty cup for emphasis. "Maybe Edward would like some as well." He looked at me expectantly.

I blinked in confusion. "I'm sorry, what?" He opened his mouth, but thankfully my brain kicked into gear and I hurried on, "Oh, right, coffee. Yeah, absolutely. Great idea." I turned to Bella. "I'll give you a hand." She looked a little relieved, nodded in agreement and started for the kitchen.

As I was about to follow, Charlie spoke up in a calm voice, "Actually, Edward, I was hoping you'd stay and keep me company." My eyes widened in alarm and he let out a chuckle. "Don't look so worried, son. I'm not carrying any weapon." He made a dramatic pause before adding with a teasing twinkle in his eye, "Bella wouldn't let me."

"Dad!" Bella cried out, looking absolutely mortified.

He just laughed. "Relax, Bells, I'm kidding. Trust me, I'm not going to embarrass you."

She glared at him and muttered something that sounded like 'you're already doing a pretty good job of that,' but I couldn't be sure I'd heard her correctly. Then she turned to me, giving me an uncertain look. I took pity on her and smiled reassuringly. "It's okay, love. I'll just wait here."

The conflict was evident on her face, but she bit her lip and nodded. "Okay. I'll be right back. Dad?" She gave him a look of warning. "If I come back to find you've managed to scare my boyfriend off, then you'll be in a heap of trouble." The funny thing was, she was dead serious, pointing her finger at him and everything.

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Really, Bella, it's cool. It takes hell of a lot to scare me off. After all, I've already met your mother, remember?" I winked at her. "I'll be here when you get back. It's a promise." While I kept my tone light, I made sure to hold her gaze for a few seconds, willing her to see the sincerity in my eyes.

No matter what happened, I wasn't going anywhere.

Bella hesitated a while longer before finally nodding slowly in acceptance and turned to leave, although I could tell she did so most reluctantly. "I mean it, Dad," she hissed as she passed him on her way out of the room. He remained stoic as their eyes met, and I had to smile as she let out a huff of frustration before stalking out of the room.

However, my smile faded the second she was out of sight and I was alone with her father. He may have been civil up until now, but for all I knew, it could have all been an act for Bella's benefit. In that case, I figured his true colors were about to show. Once again, I braced myself for the worst.

"I'm not really that intimidating, am I?" Charlie broke the silence, and if I didn't know better, I'd say he actually sounded a bit hurt, although I couldn't for the life of me understand why. When I just looked at him in question, he sighed. "You don't fool me, son. I'm willing to bet you'd rather be anyplace else in the world right now than here. Am I correct?"

My shoulders sagged in defeat. "Look, Sir, I-"

He cut me off, "Thought I asked you to call me Charlie. Edward, this is not an interrogation. I just wanted a moment to get to know the man my daughter's fallen in love with."

His words made me freeze in my tracks and I gave him a look of astonishment. "She said that?" I knew Bella loved me - that wasn't the surprising part of his revelation. It was the fact that she had actually told her father how she felt about me that came as a bit of a shock. Obviously I hadn't given my girl enough credit.

"Well, yeah, as a matter of fact she did." Charlie watched me thoughtfully for a moment. "But even if she hadn't, I would've known the second you arrived, since it was written all over her face." He stopped for a second, motioning toward the couch. "Why don't we sit down?" I just nodded mutely, following him without a word.

Once we were seated, he continued, "You see, Bella and I were in the middle of... how do I put it? We were discussing a sensitive topic before you showed up. I won't get into details, but I'll tell you this much. She was getting upset - with every right, I might add - and then you knocked on the door. Just like that, all traces of anxiety literally left her face and it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders."

I opened my mouth, but he wasn't finished, "Of course, that's when she started lecturing me, stressing the importance of me behaving myself." He snickered. "That's why I couldn't resist giving her a hard time and tease her a little, hence the comment about not carrying any weapon. I hope you weren't offended by that. You have to admit, though, the look on her face was priceless."

My tense posture finally eased and I felt my body relax. I even cracked a smile. "I guess it was. And don't worry about it - I wasn't offended." I paused. "As for what you and Bella were talking about, I think I have an idea. If I'm right, I feel a bit bad for interrupting."

"Nah." He waved his hand in dismissal. "We'll have plenty of time to finish that conversation before I'm going back to Forks on Sunday." After a brief moment's hesitation, he went on, "Enough of that. There's another subject I'd like to address while it's just the two of us. I understand you've had the misfortune of meeting Bella's mother, Renee." He looked at me for confirmation.

"That's right. I mean, yeah, I've met her. Twice, actually. She's, um..." I hesitated, because even though I got the feeling there was no love lost between the two of them, I didn't want to come out as totally disrespectful and tell him what I really thought of the woman he was once married to, "...interesting," I finished lamely.

"Interesting?" Charlie barked out a laugh. "That's one way to describe her. If that's your polite way of saying she's a crazy bitch, then I agree." I stared at him in disbelief, wondering if he had really just said what I thought he did. He seemed to find my dumbfounded expression amusing.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I-"

He cut me off again, his face turning somber, "Seriously, there's something you need to understand. I'm sure you're already aware of this, but my ex wife has a very dominating personality. She's got a lot of strict opinions, and she's convinced her way is the only to go. I suppose in a way she's always been like that - acting as if the sun revolves around her - I just refused to see what was right in front of me."

I was a little taken aback, having not expected him to be quite as blunt when it came to his feelings toward Renee. "Yeah, well, her behavior is hurting Bella. Frankly, it pisses me the fuck off." As soon as the words had left my mouth, I frowned. Apparently, I could be blunt as well. I cast an apologetic look in Charlie's direction.

If he disapproved of my foul language, he didn't let it show. Instead he just nodded thoughtfully. "I'm pleased to hear that. In fact, I'd be disappointed if it didn't, since that would mean I've been wrong about you." He sighed. "Edward, I'm nothing like Renee. My daughter's happiness means the world to me, and I have a very strong feeling she's found it with you. As a father, that's all I could ask for."

Any uneasiness I may have felt in his presence up until now melted away with that comment. "Oh, well, thank you, Sir... I mean Charlie. And just so you know, Bella's happiness is the most important thing to me as well." I met and held his gaze, willing him to see I meant it.

He looked satisfied with my response. "Well, then I'd say we're on the same page. Just look after my little girl, and you and I will get along just fine. On the other hand, if you ever hurt her-"

It was my time to cut him off, "Charlie, I would never willingly do anything to hurt Bella in any way. You have my word."

"I believe you." The wicked sparkle in his eye was back. "Just humor me, son. I've practiced on this part of the speech all day." I raised a brow expectantly, waiting for him to continue. He cleared his throat dramatically, looking me right in the eyes. "I'm a cop. You won't be able to outrun me. I know how to track a person down and how to make it look like an accident. You wouldn't even know what hit you."

I gulped, because I had a feeling he was serious. Not that I could blame him, even a little bit. After all, it was Bella we were talking about. "That's all?" I asked somewhat warily.

"I think so. Wait!" Charlie snapped his fingers as if something had almost slipped his mind. "That's right, I also own guns. Lots of them. And I'm not afraid to use them." He winked at me and his expression was smug. I wasn't stupid - I realized he was playing me. But I also knew he wouldn't hesitate to tear me a new one if I ever broke his daughter's heart.

Luckily for me, that would never be an option. He was right - we were on the same page. And it seemed like we had just come to an understanding.

"Everything okay?" Bella asked softly as she had chosen that moment to reenter the room. I smiled at her and was about to assure her things were just fine.

Charlie beat me to it, though, putting on his most serious face and shaking his finger warningly at her. "Young lady, I have a few words I'd like to say to you. You're in big trouble." Bella's mouth fell open and she looked like a deer caught in the headlights. I had to say he had one hell of a poker face.

"What's wrong?" She sounded alarmed, her eyes darting between me and her father. I almost rolled my eyes, because to me it was more than obvious what he was doing.

"I'll tell you what's wrong." He went on in a straight face, "How come you waited so long to introduce me to this fine young man of yours?"

"I... huh?" She looked completely baffled.

That's when I couldn't take it anymore and started laughing. "Sweetheart, he's messing with you. Your father and I are cool." She didn't look convinced so I turned to give Charlie an expectant look.

I could tell he was struggling to stay serious but he finally caved and cracked up. "God, Bella, you should've seen the look on your face just now!" Her eyes narrowed and he instantly sobered up. "I'm sorry, honey - sometimes you're just too easy to mess with. Like Edward said, we're good. Just relax, I'm not having him arrested or anything." He patted the couch. "Come sit down before you pass out."

"Very funny." Bella glared at him. "You're a hoot, Dad. Really." Shaking her head, she turned to me. "I'm so sorry for whatever torture you had to endure with him." When I just grinned at her, she sighed in relief and slumped down next to me. "So things are okay? For real?"

I nodded and reached for her hand. "Things couldn't be better."


	27. Chapter 27

**A/N: I'd like to take a moment to thank every single one of you who have taken time not only to read, but also to leave me a review to let me know you're enjoying my story. It means the world to me and I just can't thank you enough. I wish I had the time to respond to you all.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 27<strong>

**Bella**

Charlie ended up staying for a couple of hours after Edward had arrived, and as it turned out, conversation was flowing. The two of them got into a lively discussion about baseball - to which I had absolutely nothing to add, seeing how I pretty much hated all things sport related - but instead of getting bored or feeling left out, I just enjoyed listening to them.

The fact that my father had come to accept Edward so easily seemed like nothing short of a miracle, and yet on some level, I wasn't all that surprised. Charlie was not the kind of man who would judge another person based simply on appearances or hearsay. Still, I was truly grateful - not to mention relieved - to see the two most important men in my life getting along so well.

However, I couldn't deny that I had been reluctant to leave my dad and boyfriend alone together, especially after Charlie made a bad joke about weapons, but thankfully Edward had taken it all in stride. And once I returned, they were apparently thick as thieves and I realized my worries had been for nothing.

I had made a simple pasta dish for dinner. After we had finished eating, Charlie announced that he was getting tired and would call it a night. I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty about making him stay at a hotel for the following two nights, but he insisted he would be much more comfortable sleeping in a real bed instead of crashing on my couch.

Edward offered to stay at my place and tidy up the kitchen so I would get to spend some more time alone with my dad, which was really nice of him. On the way to the hotel, I took the opportunity to tell Charlie how glad I was he was here. He looked a little embarrassed, but happy nonetheless. Then, after some hesitation, I decided to thank him for being so nice to Edward.

"Well, I like him," he told me matter-of-factly. "He obviously cares a lot about you, and as long as he treats you with the respect you deserve, he has my full approval."

Words couldn't describe how wonderful it felt to hear that from my father. I felt my eyes well up, only for once it was with happy tears. "I love you, Dad. I'm sorry I don't tell you that more often."

"I love you, too, Bells. Never forget that." He paused. "Listen, I think we need to continue what we started talking about before Edward showed up. I feel like I've been kept out of the loop for too long, although I'm the first to admit I have myself to blame. No more, though. Can we agree on that? I want to know everything."

I swallowed, knowing it would no doubt be difficult for both of us, but at the same time, I felt like I was finally ready to come clean. So I nodded. "Okay, Dad. Tomorrow."

"Good." He sounded relieved. "So, if you don't mind my asking, what are your plans for the rest of the evening?" He must have seen the way my cheeks flushed because he hurried on before I could respond, "Never mind, don't answer that. I think I'm better off not knowing."

"Dad!" I was mortified. "Whatever you're insinuating, this conversation is wrong on so many levels."

"Yeah..." He cleared his throat. "Change the subject?"

"Please." I shuddered. We were both quiet for a moment before I glanced at him again. "Um, so what are you going to do once you get settled in your room?"

He thought for a moment. "Probably just watch some TV and then turn in. I'm beat."

I nodded in understanding. "Well, how about I come pick you up say around nine tomorrow? Then we can have breakfast together and make plans for the rest of the day."

"Sounds good." Charlie patted my leg and then looked out the window as he realized we had arrived at our destination. "Wow. This place doesn't look too shabby." He unbuckled his seatbelt. "All right, I'll see you tomorrow. You can show me around town." He hesitated for a second before adding, "It's been great seeing you again, Bells. I've really missed you."

"I missed you, too," I told him sincerely. "And again, I'm so happy you're here."

When I got home, Edward had finished cleaning up after dinner and was half lying on the couch watching TV. He raised his head and smiled as I entered the room. "There you are. Your dad got settled all right?" I nodded, dropping my purse on a chair and making a beeline for the couch. He grinned and pushed himself up, reaching out for me. "So, I've got you all to myself for the rest of the night?"

"Yup." I practically fell into his waiting arms, our lips meeting in the sweetest of kisses. "Just you and me for the next..." I pulled back slightly to check my watch, "...thirteen hours or so. Any ideas what to do to pass the time?" I batted my lashes innocently at him and watched how his eyes turned dark with lust.

"Hmm, let's see..." He wrapped his arms tightly around me and nuzzled my neck. "I have a few suggestions."

I giggled as he reached a sensitive spot below my ear. "Tell me."

"How about I'll just show you?" he asked huskily, his hand slipping under my shirt, and I shivered with anticipation as he started caressing my bare skin.

"Mm." I closed my eyes, my fingers instinctively finding their way to his hair. "Maybe we should move this into the bedroom? More space and all..." I got cut off as Edward once again leaned in to catch my lips with his, and I instantly forgot what I was going to say.

"Later," he breathed into my mouth before kissing me again, firmly yet tenderly. If possible, I snuggled even closer to him, my lips parting eagerly as I allowed our tongues to meet, hungrily returning the kiss. Kissing Edward was intoxicating - I just couldn't get enough.

"Please..." I practically whimpered, although I wasn't really sure what I was begging for. All I knew was that I needed him to keep kissing me, keep touching me. He was like a drug to me, and I desperately craved a fix. "Edward, I need more..."

He inhaled deeply, and I could actually feel his heart beating as our bodies were pressed together. "I want to make you feel good," he then mumbled into me ear, his fingers trembling slightly as they lingered over the button of my pants. "Is this okay...?" I just hummed in response, not trusting my voice to hold, but that was obviously all the encouragement he needed.

I couldn't help but gasp as his hand slipped inside my pants. Hesitating only for a second or so, he then started rubbing my clit, slowly and tentatively at first, although he quickly grew more confident. Already dripping wet, a moan escaped me and I instinctively thrust my hips upward, shamelessly grinding myself against him.

"Faster... please... don't stop...!" I babbled frenetically, feeling like my entire body was on fire. "Oh God, I'm gonna..." I was unable to finish the sentence as wave after wave of pleasure washed over me and I collapsed limply in his arms while crying out his name - which was pretty ironic seeing how, in that moment, I could barely remember my own.

For a few minutes, we simply stayed like that, Edward holding me securely against him and stroking my hair as I was waiting for my breathing to return to normal. Finally I pulled back a little, just enough to look at him, and smiled lazily. "Wow. That was..."

"...hot," he finished with a grin that matched mine and shook his head in astonishment. "God, Bella, watching you come like that..." He swallowed thickly, suddenly serious. "You're absolutely breathtaking. So beautiful. I love you, with everything I am."

It was like my heart couldn't contain my love for him and I felt almost dizzy, momentarily overwhelmed by my strong feelings. There were so many things I wanted to say, but I couldn't even begin to sort out the thoughts running through my head. Instead I just rested my forehead against his and let out a content sigh, willing him to understand how I felt even when I couldn't find the words.

"Love you, too," I whispered when I finally found my voice again. "More than anything." That was when I became aware of something hard, poking into my side. I bit my lip to hide a smile and was just about to offer to return the favor when my cell phone suddenly rang, causing me to groan loudly. "Noo!" I whined, burying my face in Edward's shoulder. "What now?"

Edward chuckled, his face a mixture of amusement and frustration. "You gonna get that?"

"I don't want to." I pouted. "I'm busy. Just ignore it - whoever it is, they can call back later."

He shrugged. "Are you sure? Could be important." Instead of responding, I just waited patiently, silently willing the ringing to stop. It took a moment, but eventually it became quiet. Edward raised a brow and smirked, clearly pleased. "Or not. Where were we?"

I smiled. "Actually, I think..." I was interrupted as the phone started ringing again, an annoyingly shrill, demanding sound, and I sighed in defeat. "Don't move. I'll be right back."

"Not planning on going anywhere," he assured me with a grimace. I gave him an apologetic smile as I most reluctantly pulled out of his embrace.

When I saw the name on the display, I felt my stomach drop and muttered a curse under my breath - which didn't go by Edward. I was definitely not in a mood for this. "Renee," I explained in a strained voice. "I really don't want to talk to her tonight."

His face darkened. "You don't have to. Just let it go to voice mail."

"Then she'll just keep calling until I pick up." I could feel anxiety well up inside me - just from seeing my mother's name. Tragic as it may be, that was how I felt.

Edward nodded in understanding. "Still, it's your decision whether or not you should answer. You can always turn the phone off."

"But then she'll know I'm just avoiding her." For a few seconds, I was torn. Then I thought 'hell with it', and rejected the call. If Renee hadn't already gotten that message the last time we spoke, then it was her problem, not mine. Hesitating only for a brief moment, I then turned off the phone like Edward had suggested.

'_What if something's happened?' _a small voice whispered in my head. _'It could be urgent, and she really needs to get ahold of you. Do you really want that on your conscience?'_

Yeah, right. Of course that was always a possibility, but more likely my mother just needed a favor of some kind. I quickly decided to let it go for tonight and then check in the morning to see if she had left any message. Then I would know for sure. Whatever it was, surely it could wait.

Edward gave me a sympathetic look as I finally put the phone away. "You okay, love?"

I nodded, eagerly returning to his waiting arms and putting my head down to rest on his shoulder. "Yeah. I just... you know?" I shrugged helplessly, not sure how to explain so it made sense. "I'm conflicted," I finally admitted quietly. "I really don't want to see her, or even talk to her, but at the same time, ignoring her makes me feel like a bad person." I swallowed before adding, "A bad daughter."

"No, Bella." Edward shook his head firmly. "You're not a bad daughter. This is your mother's doing, all of it. You've done nothing wrong. She hurt you, and it didn't just happen once - it's been building up for years. It's only natural for you to feel like you need some space from her after what she's done. I admit you can't avoid her forever, but at least for now I think you're entitled to keep her at arm's length."

Something in his expression changed when he said the last part and I suspected he was also referring to his situation with Alice, whether or not he was aware of it. It hit me once again how ironic and unfair it was that we both had to deal with such a selfish family member.

And the sad part was, even though both Edward and I had chosen to cut them out of our lives - may it be permanently or just temporary - they still haunted us. The question was, would Renee and Alice ever see the errors of their ways and change? And if so, by then, would it be too late? I couldn't speak for Edward, but I knew it would take a lot for me to be able to forgive my mom, if it was even possible.

"Maybe you're right." I'd be damned if I was going to let a stupid phone call ruin what was left of our evening together. "Edward, please, can we just forget about this for now and go back to..." I gave him what I hoped to be a seductive smile, "...what we were doing before we got interrupted?"

For a moment, it looked like he was going to object and I thought I would have to come up with some way to convince him - not that I figured it would be all that hard. But then his frown turned into a grin and I knew he - just like me - had managed to shake off whatever it was that had bothered him.

And I didn't have to ask him twice.

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><p>I woke up in the middle of the night, for some reason feeling antsy and restless. My eyes fell on Edward, sound asleep next to me. He looked so peaceful. A part of me just wanted to stay where I was, but since I doubted I'd be able to go back to sleep anytime soon, I didn't want to risk disturbing him with my tossing and turning. Instead I slipped out of bed as carefully as I could and quietly left the room.<p>

Once I got into the kitchen, I closed the door behind me and turned on the light, blinking a couple of times as it took a moment for my eyes to adjust to the sudden brightness. Hit by an impulse, I made my way over to the cupboard, opened it and pulled out a Tupperware container filled to the rim with the cookies I had baked earlier that day. Then I went over to the fridge and poured myself a glass of milk before plopping down at the table with my midnight snack.

I removed the plastic lid, picked up a cookie and bit into it. For a few minutes, I just sat there munching and enjoying the quiet. And then my mind started to wander. I found myself thinking about Renee and her phone calls. Could it be that she just missed me and wanted to fix things between us? After all, she was my mother and I knew she had to love me, at least on some level.

Or did she really? I had always told myself that was the case, but what if I had been wrong all along? Maybe it had just been wishful thinking. Was my mother even capable of loving someone other than herself? I honestly didn't know the answer to that and it bothered me, more than I liked to admit.

As much as I wished I could just say I didn't care, I knew deep down it would be a lie. I was still mad at her, but even more so, the messed up situation filled me with a great sadness. Even now, as an adult, I sometimes just longed for some maternal affection, but I was forced to admit I wasn't likely to ever receive it from Renee.

It was not a pleasant thought. Even worse was the painful realization that I had more or less acted like a mindless robot my whole life, allowing my mom to turn me into a superficial shell of a person. Until I met Edward, that was. If it wasn't for him, chances were I would still be that way - only caring about putting up a pretty facade and refusing to acknowledge how I really felt.

Edward had given me the strength and encouragement I needed to wake up, face reality and put my foot down. Standing up to my mother had been the right thing to do, and I knew if I could go back, I would do exactly the same thing all over again. So why did I feel like this? It just didn't make any sense. Like I had lost something I never even had in the first place.

I wished Renee would just leave me alone. Deep down I knew Edward was right when he said I couldn't avoid her forever. But I wanted to pretend, at least for a little while longer. Pretend that the situation was different. Pretend I had a loving mother who truly cared about me - or if that was too much to ask for, a mother who would just _once_ put her daughter's happiness before her own.

Absently reaching for another cookie, I was shocked to find that I had already eaten them all. And I wasn't even hungry in the first place! Guilt welled over me like a tidal wave, threatening to drag me under. How could I allow myself to lose control like that? Obviously I had been so lost in my thoughts, I didn't even realize I kept eating.

Not eating. Gorging. Oh God! Suddenly overcome by nausea, I rushed out of the kitchen as fast as my feet could carry me.

I just barely made it to the bathroom in time to empty my stomach. Slumped over the toilet bowl with tears streaming down my face, I found myself oddly grateful I at least didn't have to stick my fingers down my throat this time. Reaching blindly for some toilet paper, I tried convincing myself I must have been hit by a stomach bug and didn't just fall off the wagon, so to speak.

Of course, fooling myself like that, even for a second, was pointless. I stood up on wobbly legs, turned the faucet on and splashed some cold water on my face. Then I rinsed my mouth and brushed my teeth, all the while carefully avoiding to look in the mirror as I couldn't stand the thought of the disappointment I knew I would see in my own eyes.

And to think that I had been doing so well lately. I was supposed to be cured. Binging and purging was no longer a part of my life, or at least it hadn't been for many weeks. So why now?

What the hell was wrong with me?

Fresh tears of guilt and anger welled up in my eyes and started spilling down my cheeks, although I quickly wiped them away, telling myself this was not the end of the world, just a minor setback. Surely it could happen to anybody. And thankfully no one had been here to witness the humiliating incident just now, which meant I could just keep this little mishap to myself.

Yeah, right! And lie to Edward? No. That was not an option.

But what if it would spare him from disappointment? I was absolutely positive nothing good would come from him finding out about this. Thinking for a moment, I then shook my head in defeat, knowing I still couldn't lie to him. That would just be wrong. All I could do was hoping and praying he wouldn't ask. Then I wouldn't really be lying, just withholding information, which wasn't nearly as bad.

Right?

As much as I longed for the comfort of Edward's arms, I couldn't bring myself to go back to bed, knowing if he'd wake up, he would most likely see right through me. I couldn't bear the thought of facing him now, not like this. Maybe in the morning, my guilt would have lessened some and I wouldn't feel so bad about the whole thing.

So instead, even though my entire body was screaming in protest, I grabbed a blanket and curled up on the couch. All of a sudden, I was beyond tired. But it felt like hours before I finally - exhausted, lonely and miserable - felt myself starting to drift off. And even in sleep, I was plagued by dreams, none of them pleasant.

* * *

><p>"Bella? Wake up, love. What are you doing out here?"<p>

I slowly opened my eyes, then blinked in confusion. My back was aching and it took a moment before I realized where I was. It was morning, the sunlight streaming through the windows, and Edward was kneeling next to the couch with a look of concern on his face.

"I fell asleep on the couch," I mumbled sleepily in explanation, pushing myself up in a sitting position. "What time is it?"

"Almost eight. I didn't want to wake you, but I knew you're supposed to pick your father up in an hour." He tilted his head to the side, watching me closely. "Bella?"

I shook my head in an attempt to clear my thoughts. "Huh?"

"Is something wrong? Why were you sleeping here?" His hurt expression cut me like a knife in the heart and I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting back tears and struggling to compose myself. In my desperation, I reached out for him, and nearly sobbed in relief when he instantly caught hold of my hand. "Talk to me," he pleaded softly.

I tugged gently on his hand and managed a weak smile when he sat down next to me. "I was having a hard time sleeping and you just looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you." It wasn't the whole story, though, and judging by the look on his face, he wasn't fooled. I sighed. "The truth is, I wasn't feeling all that well. I started thinking of Renee, and... Edward, can we please talk about this later?"

He looked as if he was going to object, but then obviously decided against it and nodded in agreement, although I could tell he wasn't happy about it. "We _will_ continue this discussion later," he told me firmly, then gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, taking some of the edge off his words. "I'm going to hold you to it." He smiled, although somewhat uncertainly.

I took his hand between mine, gently entwining our fingers. "I didn't mean to worry you, baby. I promise you, everything's fine." Something told me he wasn't fully convinced. A part of me felt really bad about it and just wanted to tell him everything, but right now, there wasn't enough time. Charlie would be expecting me soon, and I needed to get ready.

"All right. I'll get the coffee started. Why don't you go take a shower?" Edward sounded dejected as he heaved himself off the couch and started for the kitchen, and I knew I couldn't let him leave like that.

I jumped up so fast I gave myself a head rush, calling out for him in desperation. "Edward, wait!" He stopped and turned to look at me over his shoulder. "I love you."

"I love you, too." He took a step in my direction and I all but jumped into his arms, holding on as tightly as I could.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, although I didn't know exactly what I was apologizing for.

He hugged me close, burying his face in my hair and running a hand soothingly up and down my back. "Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong." A pause. "I just don't like waking up without you."

I knew exactly how he felt. Because I felt the same way. It was a comforting thought. "Neither do I," I told him quietly, meaning it with all my heart. "It won't happen again."

It was a promise I intended to keep.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: Here's an early update for you all, I hope you'll enjoy it. Have a great weekend!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 28<strong>

**Bella**

"Go ahead and order whatever you want, Bells. My treat." Charlie eagerly looked through the menu. "Hmm... the _Breakfast Special_ sounds good. Think I'll have one of those. What about you?"

I made a half-hearted attempt to look interested as I turned my attention to the menu as well. When I had picked Charlie up at the hotel this morning, he insisted on taking me out for breakfast instead of us going back to eat at my place, and I couldn't really come up with any reason to say no. But the truth was, the mere thought of food of any kind made my stomach turn.

"Just some orange juice for me." I put on a strained smile and closed the menu. "I'm not really hungry."

"But they've got pancakes!" He said it like it was a magic word. "You always wanted pancakes for breakfast as a kid. Remember? You would ask your mother to make them every Saturday. And she always said..." he caught himself and stopped, shaking his head sadly as the memories were clearly coming back to him.

"Renee would say it was too much work," I finished for him in a flat voice. "She told me to just have some toast or cereal instead."

Seeing the guilty look on Charlie's face, I felt bad for him. It certainly wasn't his fault. In fact, I remembered how he had once offered to make me some pancakes himself after Renee had left the room, but ungrateful little brat as I was, I stubbornly told him I only wanted Mom's. Needless to say, he didn't offer again.

A young girl with short dark hair and a bored expression chose that moment to walk up to us, took our breakfast orders without wasting any time on polite small talk, and then left again. Charlie and I were quiet for a couple of minutes, each of us lost in our own thoughts.

"I thought I was doing the right thing, you know?" When Charlie spoke again, there was pain in his voice. I wanted to take it away, but I didn't know how. So I just waited for him to go on. He must have mistaken my silence for confusion, because he clarified, "When I let Renee take you and move out. You two always seemed so close, I didn't have the heart to separate you. And I was afraid-"

"Wait... what?" I gave him a skeptical look. "Mom and I were never that close. Whatever gave you that idea? I had to fight to get her attention, and even then, she never really listened to what I had to say."

"Well, it sure seemed like it at the time." He sighed. "You would always run to her whenever you needed something - I was never good enough. Just like you would only allow Renee to tuck you in at night - you never wanted me. So eventually I learned to just step back. I'm not proud of it, but I didn't know what else to do. I just wanted you to be happy and not grow up resenting me."

I opened my mouth to protest, but something made me stop. Thinking back, I slowly started to see that he was right. But what he didn't seem to understand was that the only reason I had so desperately been seeking my mom's attention as a child was because she just wouldn't give it to me, unless - of course - it was on her terms. Now I knew I only wanted it so badly because I couldn't have it.

Some things just never seemed to change.

When the food arrived a moment later, I found it to be a most welcome distraction - not that I was actually planning to eat anything, but still, I needed some time to gather my thoughts, to come up with the best way to explain things to Charlie. And I also needed to decide whether or not this was the right place. After all, we were out in public, even though the chances of us being overheard were pretty slim.

"All right, Bella, maybe I'm out of line, but I have to ask..." My father's voice snapped me out of my thoughts, and when I looked at him, I realized he wouldn't meet my eyes. In fact, he suddenly seemed very uncomfortable. When I just gave him an expectant look, he gulped nervously and took a deep breath. "Is there any particular reason why you're not eating?"

"I... what? What do you mean, Dad?" My mind was racing as I struggled to figure out just what he was asking me. Surely he couldn't have found out about my food issues, seeing how I had worked so hard to hide it from him. I had made sure not to leave anything on my plate yesterday, and I even ate a cookie or two with him when he first arrived.

Ugh, cookies! A wave of nausea washed over me when I thought about the incident last night. I just couldn't let something like that happen again.

He gave me a look that said to cut the bullshit. "Bella, I'm not an idiot. Maybe it's none of my business, but I can still tell when something's off with you. You've obviously lost some weight since the last time I saw you, you're almost sickly pale this morning, and you can't eat. Now, I'm not your mother - I won't judge you. Will you please just tell me what's going on?"

For a couple of seconds, I just looked at him blankly. Then I let out a defeated sigh. So, he knew. My father had somehow managed to find out something was wrong with me, and that after only a day. But maybe it was a good thing. After all, I was going to fill him in, anyway, and he seemed to be taking it pretty well so far. Taking a few calming breaths, I then braced myself and looked him right in the eyes.

"Okay, Dad." Swallowing hard, I leaned a little closer over the table and lowered my voice as I went on, "Here's the thing. I sort of have... a problem, with food." I couldn't bring myself to use the word 'eating disorder'. It just sounded too... dramatic? Or maybe just too real. Anyway, knowing my father, he wouldn't have any trouble reading between the lines.

I continued before he could interrupt, suddenly eager to get it all out, "I guess it's been going on for years, but most of the time I've had it under control, I mean I don't do it all the time." Then I looked out the window, not wanting to see Charlie's expression until I was finished. "And with 'do it', I mean throw up." I exhaled shakily. "I eat a lot, and then I make myself get rid of it."

Charlie started to say something but I cut him off in desperation, willing him to just be quiet and hear me out, "Ever since we moved here, Renee's been trying to turn me into someone I'm not. The worst part is, I didn't even realize it until it was already too late. But I guess on some level I've been fighting her all along. By forcing myself to stay thin, I felt like I was finally in control of something."

A stunned silence was the only response I got. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. "Lately I've been trying to stop, though, because I realize what I've been doing isn't healthy. Oh, and Edward knows, by the way. He's been really supportive, although he clearly worries about me, especially after that time I passed out in the..." I almost bit my tongue - that was not something I had intended to slip out.

"But then Renee called last night - I didn't answer so I don't know what she wanted - and I guess it messed with my head because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. Before I knew it, I had scarfed down every last one of the cookies I made yesterday, and when I realized what I'd done, I was so disgusted with myself, and I just ran to the bathroom..." I stopped to catch my breath.

A part of me was shocked that I had just blurted it all out like that, when I hadn't even been able to be completely honest with Edward this morning. But all of a sudden, it was like I was a little girl again - I felt as if I could tell my father anything and trust him to make it all better. So I finally raised my head and dared a look in his direction.

Charlie's face had turned completely ashen. His mouth opened and closed a few times, as he was clearly at a loss for words. I had to admit it surprised me. After all, he already suspected it. Right?

"Dad...?" I started tentatively but he held up a hand to stop me, his eyes wide with disbelief as they found mine, and I was taken aback by the confusion and pain I could see there. I swallowed. "But you already knew, right? I mean, you said..." my voice trailed off as he slowly started shaking his head.

When he finally spoke, I barely recognized his voice, "I just assumed you might be... pregnant."

I failed to hold back a gasp, my face burning with embarrassment as I realized I had been wrong. He hadn't figured it out after all. Instead he thought I was _pregnant_, and here I had just bluntly thrown the humiliating truth in his face, certain he already knew. No wonder he looked like he was about to be sick. Oh God!

"Please, Dad, don't hate me," I whispered, my voice trembling as I struggled to hold back the tears. I couldn't stand the thought of him thinking less of me because of this, although I knew I wouldn't blame him should that be the case.

"_Hate_ you?" Now he looked flabbergasted. "Is that what you think?" I just shrugged, then nodded, the lump in my throat preventing me from speaking out loud. This was so awkward.

Hell, awkward would be an understatement. It was totally humiliating. And I started to feel like an idiot - me being pregnant was a completely natural assumption from Charlie's side, of course that would be his first thought. After all, I was in a serious relationship, I looked 'sickly pale' and I couldn't bring myself to eat in the morning.

The mere idea seemed impossible to me, but that was probably just because I happened to know for a fact that I wasn't pregnant. Almost a year ago, there had been a couple of months - I wasn't sexually active at the time - when my periods wouldn't come at all, but thankfully they had returned and were now like clockwork. I had just finished my period a few days ago, but Charlie couldn't know that.

So that's why he had seemed so calm, if yet slightly uncomfortable. There he had been, expecting to hear that he was about to become a grandfather, but instead he learned that his only daughter was one of those freaks who would willingly stick her fingers down her throat. So the answer to his question would be yes - how could he _not_ hate me?

"You want to know what I'm thinking right now?" he asked in a low voice. I just looked at him, waiting for the explosion. When it came, was nothing like I had expected. "I'm thinking it's a good thing your mother isn't here, because then I would tell her _exactly_ what I think of her right now which would end with me being arrested for verbal assault!" He slammed his fist down on the table, causing me to jump.

"Huh?" Obviously my mind wasn't working right in that moment. "You're a cop, Dad. Surely you of all people could get away with it." He just stared at me. I shook my head as my brain finally kicked back into gear. "I mean... what are you saying? You're not mad? You should be so disappointed in me."

"Oh, I'm mad, all right. I'm goddamn furious!" I watched how his fists clenched. "But not at you, Bells. How can you even think...?" He inhaled sharply. "No, I'm mad at Renee, but I'm also mad at myself for letting it go this far without..." he shook his head sadly. "Bella, this is serious. If there's anything more you haven't told me, now would be the time."

How badly I had been dreading this conversation. Oh, what the hell, it wasn't like I really had anything to lose. Besides, I was already planning on telling him everything, might as well come clean here and now. In a way I was grateful we were out in a public place and not back at my apartment, where I would've been too tempted to just run and hide somewhere.

"There's more," I mumbled. He just looked at me expectantly, his face a mixture of apprehension and wariness. I took a deep breath. "Something happened a long time ago, while we were all still living together in Forks. I did something, and Mom found out. She..." I hesitated. "She conveniently used it as an excuse to leave, and she told me you couldn't handle it so you begged her to take me away."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Charlie's face was now white as a sheet. "Bella, I don't understand. I never said... What happened? What did you do?" His fingers were gripping the edge of the table, so tightly that his knuckles were turning white, and there was a hint of panic in his eyes. In that moment, I knew.

My father really _had_ been oblivious all these years. Renee never told him what I did that day, which seemed like a lifetime ago now. But all this time - up until just recently when she slipped up - she had been keeping the truth to herself, all the while letting me think Charlie had been fully aware.

I lowered my voice to a whisper. "She caught me playing in my room... with a knife." Somehow I managed to meet his shocked eyes. "It was stupid and reckless - I realize that now. Anyway, she thought I was about to... hurt myself. I tried to tell her she was mistaken, that I was just being curious, but she wouldn't listen." I swallowed. "And that's when she said the house was sucking the life out of both of us."

For the longest time, Charlie just kept staring blankly ahead of him, and I found myself fearing for his health. What if he was having a stroke or something? I leaned over the table to give his arm a little shake. "Dad? Are you still with me?" Thankfully he blinked, and I was relieved to see his eyes focus on me. I gulped. "Please, say something? I'm freaking out here."

"_You're_ freaking out?" He gave me an incredulous look. "Jesus Christ, Bella...!" Then he stopped, shaking his head and letting out a long, steadying breath. "I want the whole story, from the beginning. Don't leave anything out. I promise not to interrupt before you're finished. Just... tell me everything."

So I did.

* * *

><p>I was exhausted when I finally dropped Charlie off at the hotel that night, and I think he was as well. After breakfast - we ended up leaving the place without either of us actually eating anything - we went for a long walk, taking the opportunity to really clear the air, once and for all. It was lunchtime when we finally realized we were both starving, and I suggested we'd go back to my apartment.<p>

The rest of the day proceeded pretty much the same way. We ate a little and we talked - a lot. And we both cried. It was definitely awkward at times, and yet I felt much lighter once we were finished, like a huge weight had lifted from my shoulders. Finally Charlie knew the truth. And while I wasn't exactly proud to admit it, watching him rant and curse my mother's name actually felt kind of good.

Edward was supposed to come over to spend the night with me again, but I felt that I really needed to get out of the house for a while so I sent him a text, asking if it would be okay if I just came to him instead. Then I quickly threw some things down in my over-night bag. After the long day I'd had, I figured I could use a change of scenery, so to speak, and I knew Edward would understand.

It hit me that I wouldn't miss this place when Edward and I would finally move in together. Not that there was anything particularly wrong with my apartment, but these days, it just reminded me of how much influence Renee used to have on me. In fact, she had been the one who picked it out for me in the first place, insisting it was the nicest one I could possibly afford with my limited income.

And besides, it just happened to be located in the _right_ part of town. Let's not forget about that. To Renee, that was probably even more important than how it looked on the inside. Of course, there was a time when I used to care about things like that, too. But now I could see it for what it really was.

Snobbery. Plain and simple.

When almost fifteen minutes had passed and I still hadn't received any response from Edward, I decided to just head over to his place anyway. I figured he had probably just been in the shower or something and missed my text - after all, we had already made plans to hang out after I had finished spending the day with Charlie.

I tried calling him a couple of times on my way over there, just to give him the heads-up, but it went straight to voicemail, which I had to admit bothered me a little. I just couldn't help it - ever since the night of Edward's car accident, it made me anxious when I couldn't get ahold of him for some reason, even though I knew deep down that I was most likely worrying for nothing.

Needless to say, I was relieved when Edward opened the door. His face lit up when he saw me, although I noted he looked tired and somewhat frustrated. However, I was pretty sure that had less to do with me and more with whoever he was currently talking to on the phone. He stepped back and gestured for me to come inside while holding up a finger to let me know he had to finish.

I smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before closing the door behind me. Then I put my bag down and made my way into the kitchen to have a drink of water - and to give Edward some privacy while he finished his phone call. I plopped down at the table and took a small sip from my glass, waiting for him to come and join me.

It took yet another ten minutes before he finally appeared in the doorway, phone nowhere in sight. He smiled at me, but I noticed it didn't quite reach his eyes. "Hey, love. Not that I'm not thrilled to see you, but I thought we were supposed to stay at your place while your dad's still in town?"

"I know. Sorry for just showing up like this." I patted the chair next to me with a hopeful smile. He walked over and sat down, and I instantly slid over into his lap, wrapping my arms gently around him. "Is something wrong? You look a little... flustered."

"You could say that," he sighed. "But just so you know, I'm really glad you're here. You never have to apologize for that."

"Thanks, baby." I snuggled into his arms. "I did send you a text saying I was coming, though. And I tried to call you, but I only got your voicemail."

Edward nodded in understanding, not looking all that surprised. "Oh, well, that explains it. Sorry about that. I've been on the phone with Jasper for over an hour."

"Oh." I was instantly alarmed, certain that such a long conversation - combined with Edward's obvious distress - couldn't be good news. "Okay, I'll just throw a wild guess out there. Alice wreaking havoc?"

He chuckled, but there was no real humor in his voice. "Isn't she always?"

I rested my head on his shoulder, softly rubbing his back in a soothing gesture. "What did she do now?"

"Nothing really, I guess, it's just..." he sighed in frustration. "Here's the thing - Jasper worries about her. He says she's been acting downright depressed lately. I assumed he was blaming me, seeing how we're having a falling-out and all, but he insists it started long before that. Then he asked me to come over so we could talk in person." A pause. "I told him I didn't think that's a good idea."

"Well, that's completely up to you." I hesitated a little. "Edward, you know you will always have my full support, no matter what. If you feel like you should try to work things out with your sister, then I understand. I would never stand in your way."

"I know. But that's just it." He sounded exasperated. "Alice is not willing to listen to me. She's being completely irrational."

I nodded. "Did you explain that to Jasper?"

"Of course I did." He ran a hand through his hair. "I said he can't expect me to just forget everything that's happened. Alice has made her feelings pretty clear. I told him I won't talk to her again as long as she refuses to treat me with more respect. And she also needs to accept that you are now a permanent part of my life, and stop being a bitch about it."

I was pleasantly surprised that he would actually stand up for himself like that and not just give in to his brother-in-law. "Well, that sounds perfectly reasonable. What did he have to say about that?"

He was quiet for a moment. "I could tell it was ticking him off, even though he tried to remain polite. And then he said I just don't understand - that none of this has really got anything to do with my _girlfriend_," he glanced at me. "but I was just too damn stubborn and blind to see it."

"Jasper actually said that?" I felt anger well up inside me. "Then he's an idiot! _He's_ the one who's blind if he can't see the situation for what it really is."

"That's was my first thought as well." Edward gave me a small, grateful smile, although it faded the next moment. "Then I heard her in the background."

"Alice?" He nodded with a grimace. I was almost afraid to ask, but I couldn't stop myself, "What was she saying?"

He closed his eyes for a moment. "She was crying. Not just crying - screaming. You should've heard her, Bella, she was fucking hysterical, yelling at Jasper to hang up. He tried to calm her, but... fuck, it was crazy! I mean, she's always been a tad on the dramatic side, but I've never heard her lose it like that. It was like..." his Adam's apple bobbed, "Fuck, Bella, I don't even know my sister anymore!"

As I hugged him closer, I couldn't help but think the whole situation was starting to get more than a little eerie. After everything that had happened, I had finally written Alice off as a coldhearted and selfish bitch, but what if there really was more to it? Could it be so simple that she was just having a bad... couple of months? A bad year?

Or was she really losing it?


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter 29**

**Edward**

"Why don't you just come with me?" Bella asked the next morning, an almost pleading note in her voice. "I know Charlie would love to see you again before he has to go back to Forks."

As much as I hated the thought of disappointing her, the truth was I had barely slept at all, and I was fucking exhausted. All I wanted to do was to close my eyes and pull the covers over my head. Last night, Bella and I had been making sweet love for hours, and then she had promptly snuggled up in my arms and slept like a rock throughout the night.

I, on the other hand, had been unable to find a comfortable position. And as if that wasn't enough, my mind had started racing, making it impossible for me to relax and actually go to sleep. I didn't like to admit it, but my head was filled with disturbing thoughts about Alice. No matter how much I tried to push it all away, I kept hearing her desperate cries and wails.

Of course, it didn't mean I had forgiven her - not by a long shot - but still, a part of me couldn't stand the thought of my sister in pain. And something was definitely wrong. I got the feeling Jasper knew a lot more than he had been willing to discuss over the phone, which only added to my agitation. It was just before dawn when I finally must've dozed off, only to be woken by the alarm clock about an hour later.

Now I was tired, cranky and - needless to say - in no mood for socializing. But I didn't want to be rude and hurt Bella's feelings.

"Look," I thought quickly, "Bella, I'm sorry, but I have a really bad headache this morning." It wasn't a lie - the lack of sleep and then being forced to wake up just as my body had finally relaxed enough for me to drift off was now making my head throb with pain. "I don't think I'd be much of a company," I added apologetically, throwing my arm over my eyes to block out the light.

"Oh. Well, you do look a little pale." Bella ran her fingers tenderly down my cheek and then placed her palm on my forehead. "Don't think you have a fever, though. You're not warm or anything. Just hang on, I'll get you an aspirin and some water." She started to get up but I weakly grabbed hold of her arm to stop her.

"Thanks, love, but I really think I just need some more rest. I'm sure I'll be as good as new in a few hours." I tucked some of her hair behind her ear. "I tell you what. You go spend the rest of the morning with your dad - you may not get to see him again for a while. I'll call you when I wake up, and then I can meet you guys up for lunch before he has to leave. How does that sound?"

"Great. But..." She hesitated a little. "I just hate to leave you when you're not feeling well. Are you sure I can't get you anything? If you're hungry, I can make you breakfast in bed before I go."

While I was deeply touched by her kindness, I shook my head in the negative. "No, thanks. I really just want to go back to sleep. Tell Charlie I said good morning, and I'll talk to you later."

Bella looked conflicted for a moment but then nodded in acceptance. "Okay, baby, if you're absolutely sure. Just..." She bit her lip. "If it wasn't for the fact that he has to go back home today and I have no idea how long it'll take before I see him again, I would just stay with you for the rest of the day. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, no worries." I tried to give her a reassuring smile, although I suspected it looked more like a grimace. "Bella, it's okay. I'll probably won't be conscious for the next couple of hours, anyway. You'd just get bored if you stayed."

A small chuckle escaped her but her eyes remained serious. "Edward, I would never get bored as long as I'm with you. You could be sound asleep and snoring, and it wouldn't bother me - I would just curl up next to you and enjoy the feeling of having your arms around me." She leaned in to give me the softest peck on the cheek. "I love you."

"Love you, too," I told her sincerely, my voice cracking a little but I didn't care. Somehow, the words 'I love you' didn't seem enough to describe how I felt about Bella. She was my everything, my whole world. And I was finally accepting the fact that my feelings were very much mutual. Miracle or not, our love was real.

* * *

><p>I didn't remember drifting off again, but the next time I opened my eyes, almost two hours had passed. The headache had eased some, much to my relief. I got up and headed straight for the kitchen, intending to fix myself some coffee, but was pleasantly surprised to find a pot already waiting for me, along with a note from Bella saying she figured I could use some caffeine.<p>

Pouring myself a large cup of the steaming beverage, I then slumped down on one of the kitchen chairs, taking a few sips before picking up the phone, eager to call my girl and thank her for being so thoughtful. She picked up almost right away, as if she had just been waiting for my phone call, and I couldn't help but smile when I heard her sweet voice saying my name. "Edward! How are you feeling?"

"Much better." I took another gulp of coffee. "Thanks for taking the time to start the coffee maker before you left. It was just what I needed."

"I suspected as much." She let out a soft giggle, which sounded like music to my ears. There was a brief pause before she went on, hope evident in her voice, "So, are you coming over now? Or should we just meet up somewhere?"

It was almost lunchtime and I realized I was starving. "I'll just take a quick shower and then I'll come by your place. In the meantime, why don't you and Charlie decide where you want to go for lunch? I'm not picky, as long as I'll get some food in my system."

"Okay." It sounded like she was smiling. "I'll see you soon."

I had every intention to just down the rest of my coffee and then head straight for the shower once I had finished talking to Bella, but something made me hesitate. Instead I found myself hanging on to the phone, reluctantly browsing through my contact list. I decided I wasn't going to spend the rest of the day dwelling on last night's unsettling conversation with Jasper, wondering about my sister's wellbeing.

He picked up at the second ring, sounding tired, but at least a little more composed than the last time we talked. "Edward?"

"Jasper." I realized I sounded a bit cold, but I honestly couldn't bring myself to care. "How's she doing today?"

"Oh, um, she's fine, actually." There was a hint of surprise in his voice, and I knew he probably hadn't expected to hear from me so soon. "Look, about yesterday-"

I cut him off, "She sure as hell didn't seem fine last night. I heard her, Jasper. Mind telling me what that was all about?"

"I'm sorry about that." He was silent for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. "It was wrong of me to call in the first place. I can see that now."

"Well, you did," I muttered, feeling my irritation grow. "And just what is that suppose to mean? I thought we were friends."

Another sigh. "Of course we're friends, Edward. You misunderstand me. I just meant I shouldn't have bothered you like that. Alice was already upset before I called you. It was bound to end badly." He paused. "I still wish you would come over. I'm not really comfortable talking about this over the phone."

I was just about to respond, although I wasn't exactly sure what to say, when I suddenly heard my sister's chipper voice in the background - such a huge contrast to how she had sounded last night, "Oh, is it Edward? Let me talk to him!"

"Hold on for a second, man." Jasper sounded apologetic. I grunted in acceptance, waiting patiently for almost a minute before he was back. "Um, Alice would like to speak with you."

I frowned, as I was more than a little skeptical. "Really?" I asked doubtfully. A part of me wanted to tell Jasper that I wasn't interested in anything Alice had to say, knowing perfectly well she would most likely hear every word. But clearly there was something wrong with my brain, because before I knew it, I heard myself agree. "All right, fine. Give her the phone."

Again, I hadn't forgiven her by any means. I just wanted to... Hell, I had no idea what I was hoping for. This was probably a mistake. I should just...

"Edward? Hi!"

Too late. I forced back a sigh. "Hello, Alice. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm good. Real good. But what about you? I feel like we haven't talked in weeks!" She had the nerve to actually sound offended by that fact.

I pinched the bridge of my nose, struggling not to just blurt out the first thing that came to my mind. "Um... that might be because we haven't. Alice, you made it perfectly clear-"

She interrupted me, the sudden enthusiasm in her voice making me feel almost dizzy, "Hey, why don't you come over? I've missed you."

"Are you kidding me?" I asked, perplexed. What the hell was she playing at? Was she really going to act like nothing happened? I shook my head to clear my thoughts. "No, I'm not coming over."

"Why not?" Now she sounded disappointed. "Look, I know things have been... well, not so good of late, but come on! Let's just hang out, like the good old days. What do you say?"

I felt like my head was spinning. "Alice, what's wrong with you? Remember the last conversation we had? And what about those nasty texts you sent me? Did you really expect me to just forget about that?"

It took a moment before she responded, like she had been caught off guard, but when she finally spoke, her tone was light, "Oh, I was just hurt when I heard you went out with Rose and Emmett. You know I didn't really mean anything by that."

Actually, I _didn't_ know that. In fact, she had been pretty fucking convincing.

When I didn't say anything, she went on in the same, bubbly voice, "Edward, you're not really mad at me, are you? Look, I'm sorry. Okay? There, we good? Will you just come over now? Then we can talk some more. And I know Jasper would like to see you as well."

A part of me almost said yes, just so I could talk to Jasper, hoping he could explain to me what was really going on. While I had to admit Alice seemed more positive than I had heard her in a long time, something about the whole situation made me uneasy. It was like she had made a complete one-eighty, all of a sudden acting almost like her old self, and yet...

It suddenly hit me that, so far, she hadn't mentioned Bella once. It could be that she was just trying to avoid another fight, but that hadn't stopped her before. I remembered telling Bella last night that I felt like I didn't know my sister anymore. This only added to my conviction that I had been right. Then again, if there was the slightest chance this was Alice's way of trying to make amends, could I really refuse her?

I exhaled sharply, praying I wouldn't regret what I was about to do. "Alice, I already have plans today. I'm having lunch with Bella and her father. But let me just ask - out of curiosity - _if _I would decide to come by later, would you be able to refrain from insulting me and my girlfriend so we could have an actual conversation?"

She let out a musical laugh - as if I had made some kind of joke. "Of course we can have a conversation, silly! What time will you be here? I'll make us something to eat."

It didn't go by me how she hadn't really answered my question. But still, she sounded so eager to see me, so sincere. And she hadn't made any snide comment, or even sneered, at the mention of Bella's name. Could this mean what I had been hoping for all along? Was Alice finally coming around?

I ignored the little voice at the back of my mind, warning me not to be so naive. The truth was, I _wanted_ to believe it so badly. After all, she was my little sister, and deep down - even after everything - I still loved her. If there was some way to repair our relationship, I had to give it a shot.

That was, if she would finally be willing to accept Bella, _and_ offer both of us a genuine apology. I wasn't going to let Alice walk all over me, like a fucking doormat.

"I'm not making any promises," I told her firmly, not wanting her to know just how close I was to giving in. It wasn't that I really thought she was deliberately trying to play me, because no matter our differences, Alice was not a cruel person. She was just driven by her impulses, which sometimes made her thoughtless and immature. But I knew she probably believed she was only doing the right thing.

Even when she wasn't.

"Look, I'll call you later," I went on before she could object. "Then we'll see. Things have to change, Alice. I might be able to give you one more chance, but that's it."

"Great! I'll see you in a while. Bye!" And the line was dead.

I sat there frowning at the phone in my hand for at least a couple of minutes, as if it would magically come to life and provide me with the answers my sister refused to give me should I just stare at it long enough. It was ridiculous, really. But in my defense, I was really fucking confused. Oh, and annoyed. Let's not forget that.

It was like she didn't hear a word I said. Or - which I found more likely - she just chose to hear what she wanted to.

Maybe I should just try to forget the whole thing and go back to ignoring her, because truthfully, I had a bad feeling about this.

And we were back to the fact that Alice was my sister. I didn't necessarily agree with those who would insist that blood was always thicker than water, but still, I couldn't deny that I missed her - or at least I missed the person she used to be when we were younger. And my guts told me she felt the same way.

It was too late to fix my damaged relationship with my father. But maybe there was still a chance for me and Alice. Even though I knew telling my sister to stay out of my life had been the right thing to do for the time being, it was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made. After all, there was a time when she had been my best friend.

Finally accepting the fact that trying to figure it all out here and now would only cause my headache to return, I decided to just let it go for the moment. I could always mention it to Bella later and ask for her opinion on the matter, seeing how she had made it clear that I had her full support when it came to Alice.

Right now, I had somewhere to be.

* * *

><p>Lunch with Bella and her father turned out to be a nice, quiet event. I had quickly learned that Charlie Swan resembled his daughter in many ways - he was obviously a kind and just man, and I no longer felt uncomfortable in his presence. It seemed odd to me how someone like him could have ever fallen for a woman like Renee. But I figured there had to be some truth in the saying 'opposites attract'.<p>

I mean, just look at me and Bella.

"What's wrong?" Bella asked suddenly, causing me to snap out of my thoughts. I frowned when I looked around and realized Charlie was nowhere to be seen. She must have noticed my confusion because she responded before I could ask, "He went to the men's room. He'll be back soon. Seriously, Edward, you seem to be miles away. Did something happen this morning after we talked on the phone?"

I had to smile - she knew me so well. So maybe I had been a bit distracted. It wasn't my intention to keep my conversation - if you could even call it that - with Alice a secret, but I really hadn't had a chance to tell her yet. For one thing, her father was around, and as much as I liked the man, I wasn't about to fill him in on the messed up situation with my sister. In my opinion, it seemed a bit too personal.

But right now, it was just the two of us. There were no guarantees I would get Bella to myself again before it was time for her to take her dad to the airport, and by then it would be too late. I glanced at her, contemplating my options. The concern in her eyes wasn't lost on me. I suppressed a sigh. "Bella, I spoke to Alice before I came here. I was just calling Jasper to check on her, and she asked to talk to me."

"Oh." Bella couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice. "Well, was she... I mean, how did it go?"

"Honestly?" I realized I was tearing my napkin into little pieces, and dropped it on my half empty plate. Suddenly I had lost my appetite. "I'm not sure. It was just... fucking weird, if you ask me."

She gnawed at her bottom lip. "In what way was it weird? What exactly did she say to you?"

I quickly filled her in. "And now she wants me to come over there so we can talk and hang out. Her words, by the way. Not sure how I feel about that."

"You know you don't have to go if you don't want to." Bella sounded somewhat hesitant as she went on, "Or is it the opposite? You _do_ want to go?"

"No. Yes. Hell, I don't know what I want." I was getting frustrated. It wasn't completely true - I did in fact know what I wanted, which was for things to go back to the way they used to be between me and Alice. But I didn't know if that was even possible anymore. She had changed, and in all honesty, so had I.

Bella looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, look at it this way. You've been ignoring her for a while now. Did that help? I mean, did it solve the problems you two were having?"

I rolled my eyes. "Of course not."

She was quiet for a few seconds, watching me intently. "Do you believe talking to her would?"

"That's the million dollar question," I sighed. "I really don't know. But I hope so."

Bella nodded. "There you have your answer, then. Go see her, not because she asked you to, but because I'm pretty sure that's the only thing that would give you some peace of mind. That way you'll know for sure."

She was right, of course. But a part of me still hesitated. "I know you keep saying I have your support no matter what, but be honest. Do you think I'm an idiot for seriously considering this? For hoping this will change things? Because that's kind of how _I_ feel."

"No!" She leaned over the table to grab my hand, squeezing it gently. "I don't think so at all. I hope for your sake that you won't end up disappointed, because I just hate to see you hurting. But frankly, Edward, I don't think you have anything to lose by giving her a chance. If it works out, that's great. If not, well, like I said. Then you'll know." Our eyes met as she added, "Either way, I'm here for you."

"I know. It means the world to me." I brought her hand up to my lips and pressed a tender kiss to her knuckles. "All right, then it's settled. I told Alice I was having lunch with you and your dad, and that I'd call her once we were done to let her know."

She tilted her head slightly to the side, curiosity evident on her face. "And what did she say when you mentioned me?"

I shrugged, still puzzled about Alice's reaction. "Nothing at all, actually."

"Huh." Bella's obvious confusion mirrored my own, but she gave me a hopeful smile. "Could be a good sign."

"Maybe," I agreed, although I wasn't fully convinced. But I figured it might be wise to just keep my doubts on the matter to myself. No point in making Bella more worried than necessary.

Charlie chose that moment to return, effectively putting an end to that conversation, which I had to admit was a bit of a relief.

He sat back down across the table and turned to me with a serious expression. "So, Edward, you better take good care of my little girl when I go back home. Not that I don't trust you, but... well, let's just say Forks isn't that far away. Oh, and I know how to handle a rifle." He grinned and winked at me.

"Oh my God, Dad!" Bella looked mortified. "Will you just stop with the gun references already? It's not funny."

"I thought it was." Charlie chuckled. "Besides, Edward knows I'm only kidding."

I gave Bella a reassuring smile and watched how she relaxed before turning back to the chief, "It's cool, Charlie. And just for the record, your daughter's safe with me."

He looked pleased, holding his hand out for me to shake. "There's no doubt in my mind, son. It's been a pleasure. I sure hope to see you again soon. Maybe the two of you could come visit me in Forks this summer."

More than a little surprised by the invitation, I glanced at Bella, only to be almost blinded by the big, happy smile on her face. I turned back to him with a nod. "Sure, I'd like that. Thank you." We talked some more after that, mostly exchanging some final pleasantries, before Bella announced somewhat sadly that it was time to go, or he might miss the plane.

After saying goodbye to Charlie and wishing him a safe flight, I gave Bella a quick kiss and promised I'd call her once I got back from Alice and Jasper's. Once in my car, I pulled out my phone and called my sister's home number. I almost called Jasper's cell instead, but decided that would probably be a coward thing to do. After all, the whole point was for me to confront Alice, not her husband.

It took a while, but finally she picked up. "Yeah?"

"Hey, it's me." After our talk this morning, I had almost expected her to squeal in excitement, so I was a little taken aback when I was met by silence. "Alice? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." There was something slightly alarming about her flat tone, but I tried to ignore it. "Are you coming now?"

"Yeah, I'm on my way." I sighed. "But I must warn you - how long I'll be staying depends on you. I mean it, Alice. One offensive comment about Bella, and I'm gone."

When she responded, her empty, almost dead voice sent a shiver down my spine, "We'll have fun catching up. I'll see you soon." It took a few seconds before I realized she had hung up.

And here I thought she was acting weird before...

It was with a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that I drove across town, almost turning around a couple of times but forced myself to keep going. When I finally parked the car in the driveway outside Alice and Jasper's house, I was both nervous and irritated. Not wanting to waste any time, I headed straight for the front door.

Jasper was the one who opened. He smiled, although it didn't reach his eyes and his face was unreadable. "Hey, man." I waited for him to step back and allow me to enter. Instead he scratched his neck, looking more than a little uncomfortable. "Look, Edward, I'm sorry - I realize you've been driving all the way over here - but maybe it would be better if you came back some other time."

"What?" I stared at him in disbelief. "What the hell are you talking about? Both you and Alice were practically begging me to come over so we could _talk_," I emphasized the word, "and now I'm here." My annoyance turned into anger. "I'm not leaving until you explain what the fuck's going on."

In that moment, he looked almost pained. "I want to explain, believe me, but now is not a good time." He glanced over his shoulder. "Alice is not feeling well."

"What's wrong with her?" I demanded. He just shook his head. "Is it contagious?" Another shake. "Good. Then I'm coming in." He opened his mouth to object but I didn't give him the chance. "If she's really sick, then I won't bother her, and if she asks me to leave, I will. But I just talked to her, less than ten minutes ago, and she told me to come here, Jasper. So I did. Now I want to see her. All right?"

Jasper sighed. "All right, fine. You can come in. But Edward?" He finally backed away from the doorway and I gave him a questioning look as I took the opportunity to step into the house. "Don't tell me I didn't warn you."


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30**

**Bella**

"Now, Bells, I'll be expecting you and Edward to come visit me for at least a couple of days this summer." There was a hint of sadness in Charlie's eyes and I knew it was mirroring in my own - saying goodbye to my father after the weekend we'd had was a lot harder than I thought it would be. Before I could say anything, he went on, "Remember, I'm only a phone call away."

I managed a small smile. "That goes both ways, you know."

He chuckled and nodded, looking somewhat abashed. "I'll do better, I promise. I mean it, Bella. I don't want weeks to go by without talking to you."

"I don't want that either," I told him sincerely. "Why don't you just call me tonight when you get home? That way I'll know you made it safely."

"Will do." He paused. "Look, I wasn't going to say anything, but... what the hell. Here's the thing. Last night, after you dropped me off at the hotel, I went to pay your mother a little visit. I won't go into details, but let's just say she won't bother you again for a while."

_What?_

I just stared at him, trying to make sense of his words. It certainly didn't look like he was joking. But why would he...? I shook my head in a weak attempt to clear it. "Are you serious?" I asked, doubtfully.

Charlie looked me right in the eyes. "Bella, what you told me about her, about the way you had to grow up..." He shook his head. "I couldn't just drop it and go back to Forks like nothing's happened. I realize it's long overdue, but I had to confront her, give her a piece of my mind."

I was still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that he had willingly gone to see Renee. Not only did he call her batty, but I couldn't imagine the two of them in the same room long enough to even attempt a conversation. But then again, I got the feeling Charlie had been the one doing the talking. I honestly couldn't picture Renee just sitting there being lectured, and the thought made me snort in amusement.

"You don't seem too upset with me." There was relief in his voice. "I have to admit, I was a little worried you'd think I was overstepping my bounds, but... You're my daughter. I know I haven't always been there for you, but I vow to change that. I hope you understand why I couldn't just let this pass." Our eyes met, and I knew he was talking about the way Renee had used me to manipulate both of us.

Maybe I should be at least a little bit upset, but all I felt in that moment was relief. Still, I had to ask. "Are you absolutely sure she won't try to contact me after this? I mean, she could blame me for-"

"No," he cut me off, the tone of his voice leaving no room for doubt. "Believe me when I say we have come to an understanding. It'll be in her best interest to stay away from you, unless you wish otherwise."

"Fat chance of that happening," I muttered to myself, although the smirk on his face told me he heard me. "So, what was the agreement? Or should I say, what did you threaten her with?"

Charlie huffed, trying to look offended. "I would never do such a thing!" Seeing my skeptical expression, he added, "Unless she'd give me no other choice." A pause. "Hell, who am I kidding? I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Just the look on her face was priceless."

I rolled my eyes. "I really don't want to know, do I?"

He looked thoughtful for a moment, then shook his head. "I seriously doubt it. Listen, you deserve to have a good life, without all the stress that comes with your mother. You said she once told you Forks was sucking the life out of her. Perhaps she was right. It left her selfish and bitter. Maybe I had something to do with it as well. But in my opinion, all this time, she's been doing exactly the same thing to you."

I frowned at him, not sure I understood what he meant. "What do you mean, Dad? It wasn't all bad. I mean, it wasn't like she was abusing me or anything."

"Maybe not in the traditional sense of the word, but still, what she did was wrong." He was dead serious now. "The woman caused you to develop an eating disorder, for crying out loud!" Suddenly alarmed, I opened my mouth, but he held up a hand to stop me. "I didn't call her out on that one, simply because I figured it wasn't my story to tell. She's completely clueless."

I swallowed. "Dad, I don't have a..." my voice trailed off as I thought back to my cookie binge a few nights ago. "I'm doing much better," I mumbled, keeping my eyes down as I was suddenly ashamed to face him. Funny how it hadn't been this awkward when I spilled the beans to him the other night. But then again, I had been focused on simply giving him the facts.

And I never said _that_ word out loud. Somehow it just seemed wrong. Almost dirty. Not to mention shameful.

"I'm glad to hear that." Despite his words, something told me he wasn't fully convinced, but I brushed it off. I could handle it on my own. Casting a look at his watch, Charlie let out a sigh. "Well, I need to get going. I'll call you as soon as I've landed." He watched me quietly for a moment. "I love you, Bells. Always remember that."

I couldn't stop the tears from welling up in my eyes. "I love you too, Dad. Always." We hugged for a long time. Then he stepped back, gave me a sad smile and an awkward little wave, and walked away.

Just like that, my father was gone. And I already missed him.

* * *

><p>When I got home, I really wanted to give Edward a call since I was feeling a little down and knew hearing his voice would make me happier. But I assumed he had gone straight to his sister's place, and I didn't want to disturb him in case they were in the middle of some serious discussion.<p>

I wasn't going to lie - I had been pretty skeptical to the whole thing. Or maybe 'worried' would be more accurate. As much as I wished - for Edward's sake - that Alice was finally coming around, or at least would be willing to accept that she had to let him make his own decisions, I was afraid this was all about to blow up in his face. I didn't trust her.

A part of me couldn't help but wonder if I had made a mistake when I encouraged Edward to confront her. But in the end, it was really up to him. Even though I wanted nothing more than to protect him and make sure he never got hurt again, I knew it was an impossible task. He had always been close to Alice, and losing that connection was obviously hurting him. This was something he needed to do.

As the afternoon passed without any word from Edward, I started to get agitated. What was taking him so long? Of course, I hoped it only meant things were going well and he had just lost track of time, but I started to fear the worst - that they had gotten into another fight. If that was the case, I could only pray he had learned from past mistakes and wouldn't attempt to get behind the wheel while still upset.

I had tried to block the horrible night of his accident from my memory, but now it was all coming back full speed and I suddenly felt sick to my stomach. In a fit of pure panic, I grabbed my phone and sent Edward a frantic text message, insisting he had to call me before he left Alice's house. Then I waited.

And waited.

When the phone finally rang, I was pretty much a nervous wreck. The relief when I saw Edward's name on the display almost made my knees buckle. "Edward?" I all but gasped. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"At home." Something about his voice seemed off, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Didn't see your text until now. I'm sorry."

"That's okay." I was just happy he was home, safe and sound. "So, what happened? Did you talk to Alice?"

There was a brief moment of silence before he responded. "Can you come over here?"

The way he kept avoiding my questions made me a little uneasy, but I figured he just preferred to tell me in person. Which, in that case, probably meant I had been right - things hadn't turned out the way he had hoped. I swallowed, fighting back the sadness threatening to well up. "Of course. Want me to spend the night?"

"Yeah." This time there was no hesitation. "If that's okay? I know you have work in the morning."

"No problem," I assured him. "My shift doesn't start until nine. I'll just go straight from your place."

"Okay." He was quiet for a few seconds, and then, "Will you hurry?" There was something almost desperate in his voice now, and I felt a tug at my heartstrings. I promised him I would be there as soon as I could, quickly gathering the things I would need and throwing them down in my overnight bag while still on the phone.

Twenty minutes later, I knocked on the door to Edward's apartment. It took a while before something happened and I waited impatiently, anxiously shifting my weight from one foot to the other. Finally the door swung open and I breathed a sigh of relief, until I took in his appearance.

His dejected expression nearly broke my heart, as did the pain I could see in his bloodshot eyes, but what bothered me the most was the almost empty bottle he was clutching in his hand like a lifeline. Even though I couldn't read what the bottle said from where I was standing, I was pretty sure it was pure vodka.

It hit me in that moment that while Edward and I used to share a bottle of wine for dinner on weekends and had even gone out for drinks a few times, I had never actually seen him intoxicated.

I eyed him somewhat cautiously as I stepped past him into the apartment. "Edward, are you... Have you been drinking?"

"I'm not drunk," he firmly informed me before taking a large swig right out of the bottle. Clearly seeing the doubt on my face, he shook his head in protest. "Bella, I don't get drunk. Believe me, I wish I could. Do you have any idea how much I have to drink before I even feel the slightest buzz? This..." he held up the bottle with a grimace, "...isn't enough by a long shot. And do you know why?"

I had a sinking feeling I knew where this was heading and I'd be damned if I would let him go down that direction. So I carefully avoided his question. "Baby, why don't we sit down? I'll have a drink with you if you're willing to share. Then we can talk. But first..." I reached out for him, happy when he grasped my hand after only a second's hesitation, "Come here? I think we could both use a hug right now."

His face softened and he swept me into his arms without another word, hugging me so tightly I had to bite the inside of my cheek to keep from crying out. There was no place in the world I'd rather be than right there in his arms, but I knew if he realized he was causing me even the smallest amount of pain, he would let go of me in an instant, and that was just not acceptable. I needed this as much as he did.

Eventually his death grip eased a little, but he made no motion of releasing me. I gently ran my hand up and down his back. "I take it things didn't go very well?" I asked softly. He snorted and muttered something that sounded like 'understatement of the fucking year', but I couldn't be certain I had heard him correctly since he kept his face buried in my hair.

"Come on. Let's sit." I tugged gently on his hand, pleased when he allowed me to lead him over to the couch. He tilted his head back and gulped down what was left in the bottle before putting it down on the coffee table with a slam, causing me to wince.

"Oh." Edward frowned at the now empty bottle, as if he had just remembered something. "You wanted a drink. I forgot, I'm sorry. Think there's some beer in the fridge if you want one?" He started to scramble off the couch, but I quickly grabbed his arm to stop him, which made him look at me in confusion. "But you said..."

"It's okay," I assured him. I didn't really want a drink in the first place - the only reason I had even offered was to keep him from finishing the whole bottle all by himself. Now when he already had, it didn't seem like a very good idea to send him into the kitchen for more alcohol, seeing how I suspected he'd take the opportunity to get some more for himself as well. Right now, I wouldn't put it past him.

"Are you sure?" he asked, and I nodded firmly. He looked a little uncertain but nodded in acceptance. "All right. Sorry again." After a few seconds of silence, he slumped back into the cushion with a defeated sigh. "This sucks, Bella. I have to drink twice as much as a normal person to feel anything, and by then I'd probably just pass out from alcohol poisoning so I wouldn't even get to enjoy it."

I didn't quite follow his logic, but I most definitely didn't like where he was going with this. "Edward-"

He went on as if I hadn't spoken, "Can you even imagine how frustrating this is? I'm too fat to even get drunk without draining half a fucking liquor store!"

"All right, just stop!" What he said bothered me deeply, and the worst part was I knew he couldn't help it - that was just the way he saw himself. In his eyes, his size had always been the one thing to define him. He obviously still had a lot of self-hatred buried inside, even after I had tried so hard to make him see what a wonderful person he really was. "Baby, you know I can't stand hearing you talk like that."

"Yeah, well, maybe you should just get used to it," he stated harshly, his words cutting me like a knife. He must have seen the way my face fell because before I could say anything, he grabbed hold of me and all but crushed me to his chest, as if he was afraid I would just get up and leave. "I'm sorry, love, I didn't mean that, I'm so sorry," he babbled frenetically, the regret and fear in his voice nearly killing me.

Now he was actually starting to scare me. "Edward, I need you to talk to me. What the hell happened at Alice's that was so bad it brought this on?"

He let out a bitter laugh. "Where do you want me to start?"

"How about from the beginning?" I suggested, mentally preparing myself for the worst. After a moment's consideration, he nodded.

"I told you how she was all excited the first time I talked to her, insisting I'd come over so we could _hang out_." Edward shook his head, an annoyed look on his face. "Like nothing's happened. I was suspicious, of course, but I also _wanted_ to believe she had changed her opinion about... well..." He glanced at me apologetically.

"About me," I finished for him, knowing perfectly well that's what he meant. "It's okay, we both know how she feels." I squeezed his hand. "But I'm guessing that wasn't the case? I mean, she hasn't changed her opinion at all, has she?" He didn't respond. "Edward?"

He sighed. "It's not that simple. I got pissed off at first when Jasper said it wasn't really about you at all, because it sounded like utter bullshit to me. Now I'm not so sure."

"What do you mean?" I was almost afraid of the answer.

"She's got problems." He kept his eyes locked on our entwined hands. "Much bigger than I realized. Hell, I doubt even Jasper..." he stopped with a grimace. "It was bad, Bella. When I called her back, she was different. Much quieter. Almost like she wasn't really there. But she still asked me to come, so I did."

I nodded slowly. "And what happened when you got there?"

He just looked blankly ahead of him for a moment and then ran his fingers through his hair. "Jasper wouldn't let me in at first. He said Alice wasn't feeling well, that I should come back another day. Of course, I told him to cut the crap and step back - maybe I was a bit more polite about it, but I think he got the message."

Yeah, I bet he did. I actually smiled a little before nodding for him to continue.

Edward took the hint and went on, "Apathetic. That's the first word that came to me when I saw her. She started talking, telling me she was happy to see me, but I could tell her heart wasn't in it. As if she was going on autopilot, if you know what I mean?" I nodded, feeling a shiver run down my spine.

I also noted how he was slurring slightly on the words now and figured the alcohol he had consumed was finally starting to affect him, only it didn't seem to provide him with the blissful numbness he must have been seeking. "Go on," I encouraged.

"I guess she noticed her behavior was confusing me and that I was getting frustrated with her, because she became defensive. Started accusing me of acting all high and mighty and thinking I was better than her, which if you ask me is fucking crazy." He huffed. "Anyway, Jasper seemed reluctant to leave the two of us alone, but I insisted. He's a good guy, but some things are just private, you know?"

"Yeah." I thought if I was going to have a heart-to-heart with Alice - which I couldn't see happening in... well, frankly, ever - I wouldn't want her husband to stay as some kind of chaperone either. Or maybe I just didn't want any witnesses as I kicked her in the shin and bitch-slapped her six ways to Sunday for the way she was treating Edward.

Okay, maybe I was overreacting just a little, as I wasn't exactly violent by nature. And if Alice really _was_ having some kind of problem, maybe I should be the bigger person and cut her some slack? My eyes fell on the empty bottle on the table and I recalled Edward's heartbroken expression when I entered the apartment. Or second thought, maybe not.

"Things pretty much went downhill after he left the room," Edward continued with a sigh. "Alice kept insisting we needed to talk, but I guess with that she meant the same as usual - _she_ would talk, expecting me to simply listen and agree with her." He let out a snort. "If what she was saying actually made any sense, it would've been a different matter."

I opened my mouth, but was cut off as Edward's phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes, making no attempt to pick it up. "Just ignore it. I bet it's either her or Jasper, and I'm in no mood to speak with either of them right now." I wasn't about to protest. Instead I just nodded in acceptance, waiting for him to go on.

"Needless to say, I got tired of her ramblings and asked her straight out if she was ready to pull the stick out of her ass and start acting like a decent person. She flipped off her lid, although I got the feeling it wouldn't take much to push her over the edge at that point." A bitter laugh escaped him. "Basically she called me an idiot for not seeing through your holier-than-thou attitude. Her words, not mine."

"Excuse me?" I stared at him in disbelief. "That has to be one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard!"

"I agree. I told her as much." He shrugged. "That's when things got really ugly and the name-calling started."

I was fuming now. "Me or you?"

He chuckled, although there was no humor behind it. "Believe me, she had some pretty colorful words for both of us, but I think I got the shortest straw this time. Seriously, some of the things she said... I mean, if I wasn't already so pissed off..." He punched the cushion in frustration. "It hurts, Bella. It fucking hurts hearing her talk to me like that."

"Of course it does. I'm so sorry." I reached out for him but he pushed himself up from the couch, angrily moving to the far side of the room. "Edward!" I helplessly threw my arms up in the air. "Why are you walking away from me?"

He ignored my question. "I told you I think something might be wrong with her. I'm telling you, Bella, that was not my sister. She hasn't really been herself in a long time, but this... I mean it. I've considered Tourette's, as well as some kind of brain tumor. Hell, I even suspected she might be into drugs for a while, but it just doesn't add up. Something's missing." He swayed a little. "Fuck, I need another drink."

I disagreed, but I wisely kept my opinion to myself. Surely getting drunk wasn't the best way to deal with a stressful situation, but who was I to judge? Still, it definitely seemed like a bad idea. "Why don't you just have some water or a soda instead? You know, I'm kind of thirsty too. I'll go get us something." I jumped up and made a beeline for the kitchen before he could object.

That's when there was a loud knock on the door. I came to a halt, suddenly torn as my eyes darted between Edward and the door. He remained frozen on the spot. I bit my lip. "You want me to get that?"

He just shrugged at first, but I could see the conflict in his eyes. Finally he nodded. "If you don't mind. Bella, I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I told him truthfully. As if any of this would be his fault. His emotions were clearly all over the place, but after the day he'd had, I could hardly blame him.

I wasn't overly surprised to see Jasper when I opened the door, but that didn't mean I was happy to see him. Edward didn't need anymore drama tonight, and I doubted Jasper was here simply for a social visit. It wasn't that I had anything against him, not really, but right now, I just wanted to be alone with Edward, hopefully getting him to relax a little. And I didn't think Jasper's presence would help with that.

"What do you want?" I asked, a little sharper than I had intended, and I instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry, it's just that this isn't a good time, and..." I stopped as he let out a bitter laugh.

"You know, I told Edward the same thing a couple of hours ago." He didn't sound angry, just tired, and even more so - sad. "He didn't listen, and I'm sorry for being blunt, but neither will I. I assure you, Bella, I'm not here to cause any trouble. I just need to talk to my friend, so I'm asking you to kindly step back."

"Jasper, can we please do this another time?" Edward was suddenly standing behind me. I ran my fingers soothingly down his arm before stepping aside, deciding to just let him handle this.

"I'm sorry, but no." He tiredly rubbed his face. "You still don't understand, Edward. Alice is sick."

"No kidding?" Edward sounded exasperated. "I've figured that out already, thank you. Are you finally going to tell me what's wrong with her?"

Jasper glanced over his shoulder. "I certainly won't discuss this here in the doorway." Edward sighed in defeat and took a step back, gesturing for him to enter, but not before giving me an apologetic look. I just waved my hand in dismissal. This was his apartment, not mine. I had no say in who he could invite inside.

"You asked what's wrong with her." Jasper cast a somewhat uncertain look in my direction, but Edward cleared his throat and raised a brow, his message clear - I was staying. Still looking a bit hesitant, but thankfully not protesting, Jasper finally nodded in acceptance and went on, "She's never been diagnosed. But we're pretty sure she's manic depressive."

I failed to hold back a gasp and clapped a hand over my mouth. Edward just looked at him blankly for a few seconds. Then he seemed to snap out of it. "What do you mean, 'you're pretty sure'?" he demanded, his voice cracking a little. Jasper opened his mouth but Edward's eyes widened as if something just occurred to him. "Where is she now? Don't tell me you just fucking left her alone at home?"

"No, I didn't." Jasper swallowed visibly. "I was hoping... Obviously I was wrong." Seeing Edward's confusion, he clarified, "I thought she might have come here. She took off."

"Took off?" The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. "You mean...?"

Jasper gave me a tired look. "Took off, as in she walked out of the house and left. She didn't tell me where she was going." He turned back to Edward. "It's not the first time it's happened, and she has always come back before. But I think..." There was determination in his eyes. "I think it's time for you to know what's really going on with your sister."


	31. Chapter 31

**A/N: To all of you who have left me a comment or two to let me know you enjoy my story, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Some of you have even shared personal stories from your own experiences, and I can't tell you how much it means to me. I'm truly and deeply honored, and I hope you will all be with me until the end. So again, thank you all!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 31<strong>

**Bella**

"You_ think_?" I asked, not bothering to hide the sarcasm in my voice. Edward and Jasper both turned to stare at me and I felt my cheeks become warm, although I refused to back down now. "I'd say that's long overdue. If this is as serious as you make it out to be, then I don't understand why Edward hasn't been informed months ago."

"Bella..." Edward started and then fell silent, looking from me to Jasper and then back to me again. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he was trying to process what Jasper had just told us about the likeliness of Alice being manic depressive. It must have come as a shock to him, even though he already suspected something was wrong.

I had definitely not seen that coming, but now when I thought about it, it kind of made sense.

"No, she's right." Jasper sighed. "But Edward, you need to see things from my point of view. Alice really didn't want you to know. She's made several doctors appointments over the last six months, but she always ended up canceling at the last moment."

"Why would she do that?" Edward sounded pained. "I just don't get it. If she never got the diagnose, then how can you know-"

"Because she's been scared to death," Jasper interrupted in a flat voice. "She doesn't want to hear a doctor tell her what she already knows deep inside. Besides, there's a lot more to the story. I'll fill you in as much as I can, but there are some things I'm going to leave out, things that are just not for me to tell."

I started to feel like my head was spinning. How could Jasper be so calm about this? "Okay, sorry for interrupting but I'm going to state the obvious here - Alice is missing. Shouldn't someone... I don't know, look for her? What if she's hurt?" Edward's eyes widened in alarm and he gave Jasper a questioning look.

"I told you - she does this sometimes," Jasper sighed. "She takes off when she feels that things become too much and she needs some space, and then she comes back. We've talked about it. She doesn't want me to come looking for her." His voice cracked at the last part and I realized this must be killing him. He was just good at hiding it.

"She actually said that?" Edward asked quietly. Jasper nodded. "Well, she hasn't said anything to me. I'll go find her." Her started for the door, but I grabbed his arm to stop him before he could leave.

"Edward, just take a moment to think about this," I pleaded. "You don't know where to look for her. Hell, she could be anywhere. And you can't take the car - you've been drinking. Just..." I thought quickly, "Maybe you could start by trying her cell phone? If she doesn't pick up, we'll think of something. But there's no point in just running around aimlessly. We need to at least know where to start."

Jasper raised a brow when I mentioned the drinking part, but thankfully he didn't say anything. Edward raked a hand awkwardly through his hair. Then he nodded. "All right, I'll try calling her. But I bet she won't answer." It turned out he was right, and a moment later, he angrily tossed his phone on the couch. "Dammit! She has to know people are worried about her. I can't believe she's so fucking selfish!"

"Hey!" Jasper gave him a warning look. "Don't talk about her that way. You don't understand what she's going through." He barely got to finish the sentence before Edward had pushed him up against the wall with an angry growl. I instinctively jumped forward, but wisely kept my distance.

"You're right - I don't. So make me understand, Jasper! Enough with the fucking secrecy - I want the truth! But first, can you swear to me she's not in any immediate danger right now?" Jasper mumbled something, causing Edward to slam him into the wall again. "Speak up!"

"She didn't seem too upset when she left. I think she just needed to be alone for a while." Jasper groaned. "Just let go of me, man. Let's discuss this as adults." I snorted at his comment and he turned to look at me with a perplexed expression. "What?"

"That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think?" I asked in a low voice, struggling to keep my temper under control. "Jasper, I realize you only want what's best for Alice, but you have to see you've been handling this whole thing all wrong. Edward is family. He deserves to know what's going on. The way you and Alice have been keeping this from him, it's not right. If he had known, he could've helped."

Jasper opened his mouth, but Edward beat him to it, "Wait, what about Mom? Does she know about this? Am I the only one who's been kept out of loop?"

"It's... complicated," Jasper sighed. "Like I said, there's more to the story. Before I can answer that, there's something you need to understand." He glanced at me and I could tell he was uncomfortable. This would probably be easier for him if I wasn't in the room. But I really didn't want to leave Edward's side right now.

However, selfless Bella spoke up, "Um, I think we could all use some coffee or something. How about I'll just head into the kitchen and-"

"You don't have to leave." Edward reached out for me and pulled me into his side, and I could feel him trembling slightly against me. That was all the convincing I needed - I wasn't going anywhere. Giving him a reassuring smile, I slid my arm around his waist and turned to give Jasper an apologetic look. He would just have to deal with it. As long as Edward wanted me to stay, I would.

Jasper didn't look overly pleased but to his credit, he didn't protest. Instead he walked over to the couch and sat down, burying his face in his hands. "God, I shouldn't be the one telling you this. But in order for you to fully understand, I have no other choice. Edward, your father was being medically treated for manic depression, or that's what they called it back then. Today, the term would be Bipolar disorder."

You could hear a pin drop in the room. The silence following Jasper's revelation was deafening. I looked at Edward, searching his face for some reaction, but he seemed to be in a state of shock, just staring at Jasper as if unable to take in what the words meant.

"You know this for a fact?" I asked quietly. Jasper's eyes flew to mine and he nodded, a guilty look on his face. I swallowed. "How?" Edward finally seemed to snap out of it as his eyes darted briefly to me and then back to Jasper, clearly wanting to hear the answer to that as well. I could only imagine the thoughts running through his head in that moment.

"When Alice was twelve, she accidentally found his pills in the bathroom. Apparently he usually kept them locked up, but that day, he must have forgotten to put them away." Jasper looked down at his hands. "We weren't together back then, but she told me about it. She couldn't bring herself to ask him what they were for, so she did some research on the internet. That's how she found out."

"No." Edward shook his head in denial. "I don't believe it. She would've mentioned it to me." His voice turned almost pleading. "Alice and I didn't keep things from each other. We talked about everything."

"Except for..." Jasper gulped. "Edward, she told me how you and your dad were never really close. Somehow, she felt the subject was off limit. She just didn't want to upset you."

"Like she'd care about that! Fucking bullshit!" Edward clenched his fists in fury. I placed my hand softly on his arm in an attempt to calm him and he threw a quick glance in my direction.

I bit my lip. "Baby, what's done is done. You can question Alice about her motives later. Let's just hear Jasper out." Jasper gave me a grateful look which I chose to ignore, because I wasn't trying to placate Edward for his benefit. Sure, I felt bad for him, but my loyalties would always lie with Edward.

Jasper sighed and went on, "You're wrong. She always cared about you, but right now, she's just... lost. Lost and terrified. The first symptoms started almost a year ago, but lately it's been getting worse, and fast. She's been living in denial for so long, pushing it all away because she's too afraid to deal with it. But the truth is catching up with her." He swallowed hard. "I'm trying to just be there for her, but..."

"You're kidding me, right?" Edward stared at him in disbelief. "If what you're saying is true, then she needs medical treatment for fuck's sake! If you love her like you say you do, then how the hell can you justify just sitting on your ass and watch her cancel her appointments again and again when you _know_ what's happening to her? You're not helping her, you're encouraging her to pretend nothing's wrong!"

For a couple of seconds, Jasper just looked at him. His mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish on land, as he was clearly at a loss for words. And then he exploded. "You think I don't already know that? Don't you dare question my love for Alice! Dammit, Edward, I'm doing everything I can to support her, but what am I suppose to do? Drag her to the hospital kicking and screaming?"

"Yes!" Jasper's eyes darkened, but before he could say anything, Edward continued, "I shouldn't even have to tell you this, it should be fucking obvious! As her husband, it's your goddamn job to take care of her when she's not capable of doing it herself."

I watched how Jasper's Adam's apple bobbed. "I know," he finally whispered. "I've failed her."

Even though a part of me agreed with him, I couldn't stand to see the crushed look on his face. "Maybe it's not too late. You can still help her. You just have to make her listen to you. Make her see that it's crucial for her to get the help she needs." Jasper turned to look at me with big, watery eyes. "Just don't give up on her," I warned him softly. "She'll need you now more than ever."

He nodded eagerly. "I want to help her, I swear. I'm just... God, I'm scared to death. I know I should have pushed her harder about seeing a doctor, but every time I even touch the subject, she literally breaks down. There's nothing in the world that's more painful than watching the love of your life suffer."

Edward and I looked at each other and I knew we were both thinking the same thing - Jasper's words had hit a little too close to home. In that moment, I felt nothing but sympathy for him. He so desperately wanted to do the right thing, but now he was forced to admit he had messed up - just like Alice, he was too afraid to deal with the problem. It was time for him to grow up and face reality.

The last part of my thought made me feel like the biggest hypocrite in the world. Nevertheless was it true.

The room was silent for a few minutes, all three of us lost in our own thoughts. Finally Edward spoke up, "Look, Jasper, I realize it's a difficult situation for you and I'm glad you told me the truth, even though I still think you should've done so a long time ago. Let's just move on and work together from now on, all right?" Jasper nodded in agreement. "Now I think you should go home in case she comes back."

He nodded again. "That's probably a good idea. She usually comes back within an hour or two." A pause. "Edward, for what it's worth, I'm sorry. And Bella..." he turned to me, "I know you have every right to be mad at Alice. She's been treating both you and Edward badly, and believe me, I'm not trying to excuse her behavior. I'm just asking you to..." A dark chuckle escaped him. "Hell, I don't know."

"It's okay," I told him quietly. He was right - I was still mad at Alice. But that was between her and me. It wouldn't be fair of me to take it out on Jasper, especially since he was already so distressed, and rightfully so. I couldn't even imagine how frightening all of this had to be for him.

I excused myself by pretending I had to go to the bathroom, wanting to give Edward and Jasper a moment alone. A part of me couldn't help but wonder about Alice. Where was she? What was she thinking right now? Was she upset? Sad? Angry? Either way, she was all alone. I suddenly felt pity for her. And yet I knew it would take a lot for me to forgive her, if that was even possible.

As soon as I heard the door to Edward's apartment open and then close, I left the bathroom and went to search for Edward. I found him in the kitchen with a beer in his hand. He must have heard me approach because he turned around, a guilty look on his face. "I was thirsty," he mumbled, not meeting my eyes.

I sighed and made my way over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist. "Just have your beer. I don't blame you." He didn't respond. "Are you okay?" I asked softly.

"Yes. No." He grimaced. "Should I be? Honestly, I don't know. Right now, I kind of feel like I've been riding a rollercoaster and my head still hasn't stopped spinning. Does that make any sense to you?"

"Absolutely," I nodded, because that was definitely a feeling I could relate to. "Edward, I'm not quite sure what to do in a situation like this. Should we go look for Alice after all? Do you have any idea where she might be? Or do you think Jasper is right about her just wanting some space?"

He was quiet for a moment and then let out a frustrated groan. "I don't know. If she left the house like that, I guess it means she needs some time for herself, but Bella, what if she...?" His pleading eyes met mine as he was silently begging me to understand what he couldn't bring himself to say out loud. And I did.

What if Alice ended up physically hurt? While Jasper said she hadn't seemed overly upset when she left, it was highly likely for her to be distracted, possibly completely lost in her thoughts, which would result in her not paying enough attention to her surroundings. She could walk right out into a heavily busy street without even acknowledging the danger until it was already too late. I shivered at the thought.

Alice may not be my favorite person - or even close, to be perfectly honest - but that didn't mean I would ever wish her any harm. Not to mention that I knew it would kill Edward if anything happened to her.

"Tell me what you need from me, baby," I told him gently. "You've had too much to drink, but I can drive. If you want to search the town for her, we will. Just tell me how I can help."

Edward absently ran his fingers through my hair as he seemed to contemplate my offer. He tilted his head to the side. "You'd help me look for her?"

"You really have to ask me that?" I cupped his cheek, looking him right in the eyes. "Edward, I'd do anything for you. Besides, even though Alice and I don't get along, I'm worried about her. I want her to be okay. And right now, she needs help. So, what do you say? Should we stay here and let Jasper deal with this on his own and just hope she gets home safely, or...?"

He swallowed hard. After a moment's hesitation, he hugged me tightly and rested his forehead against mine. "I want to find her," he whispered.

I nodded, having already figured as much. "Then that's what we'll do."

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><p>Unfortunately, the search for Alice turned out to be fruitless. It didn't come as a total surprise, but nonetheless was it a disappointment. We started out in her and Jasper's neighborhood and then proceeded to drive up and down the streets, making sure to leave the car every once in a while so we could look more thoroughly, but it was like she had just dropped off the face of earth.<p>

Hours later, we were finally forced to give up and returned to Edward's place, both of us tired and low-spirited after driving around for so long. Edward had tried calling Alice's cell phone again several times, but she seemed to have turned it off as every call went straight to voice-mail.

Jasper had promised to contact him as soon as Alice walked through the door, but so far there had been nothing but silence, which meant she had yet to return home. At least the air was warm and the sun wouldn't set for another hour or two. But still, she had been gone for quite some time now, in fact, much longer than usual according to Jasper. I didn't like the sound of that.

I also knew better than showing my concern in front of Edward. The poor guy was freaked out enough as it was, and the last thing I wanted was to add to his rising panic.

My stomach suddenly growled, causing me to blush, and Edward looked at me with a frown. "You barely ate anything at lunch," he stated quietly. "Why don't you head inside, and I'll go get us something from that new place down the corner? You like Chinese, right?" I nodded, even though I didn't find the thought of food overly appealing, but at least it seemed to please him that I was willing to eat.

Normally I wasn't really comfortable when he felt the need to fuss over me like that, mostly because it made me feel guilty, but right now I figured he could use a distraction. After all, Alice's whereabouts were still unknown, and I knew it had to be tearing him up inside. Unfortunately, at the moment, there wasn't much more we could do aside from just hoping she would turn up soon.

As Edward went to get us some food, I entered the apartment building while going through our options in my mind. If Edward wanted to go back out there after we had finished eating and keep looking for his sister, then I would accompany him without complaints, but the truth was, I was emotionally and physically spent. It had been a long day, and I really just wanted it to be over.

Lost in my thoughts, my brain didn't register the person sitting on the floor just outside Edward's door until I was only about ten feet away. My eyes widened as I realized it was Alice and I was instantly filled with relief. However, it only lasted a few seconds, because she suddenly turned her head in my direction, as if she had sensed my presence, and she didn't look happy to see me. At all.

"Bella." She practically spat out my name and I braced myself, certain she would lash out at me, even though I had done absolutely nothing to deserve it. But to my surprise, it didn't happen. She just leaned her head back against the door and closed her eyes, letting out a long, shuddering breath.

"Alice..." I tentatively took a step closer, feeling like I was approaching a startled animal that may or may not attack me any second. She remained silent and motionless. "Are you okay?" I whispered. No response. I swallowed, thinking quickly. "Jasper was here before. He's really worried about you. And so is Edward. He'll be very happy to see you're safe."

Aside from a soft snort, there was nothing indicating she had even heard what I said. I sighed, not really sure what to do.

It took a moment, but then I snapped out of the stupor and forced myself to jump into action, closing the distance between us with determination. Alice's eyes snapped open and she looked at me suspiciously, following my every moment, and I could almost feel the hostility towards me coming off her in waves.

I pretended to be oblivious. "Get up. We're going inside." It wasn't a polite invitation - it was a command. I knew she could tell the difference as well, seeing how her eyebrows nearly disappeared in her hairline. For a few seconds, she just stared at me skeptically. I stubbornly held her gaze, refusing to be the first to look away.

Finally, after what felt like hours but couldn't have been more than a minute, she slowly got up and brushed herself off, all the while keeping her eyes on me. My heart was beating fast and my fingers trembled as I unlocked the door and ushered Edward's sister into his apartment, but I'd be damned if I was going to let my uneasiness show.

I tried to be reasonable, reminding myself that Alice needed help, and right now, I was the only one around. It wasn't that I was completely heartless - I really did feel for her and I knew she had to be going through a horrible ordeal with not knowing what was going to happen to her, but I also couldn't forget how badly she had hurt Edward.

Alice was eerily quiet, ignoring me as I suggested she'd have a seat and instead remained standing in the middle of the room, arms wrapped around her body as if trying to hold herself together. After a few minutes, I could no longer stand the silence. "Is there something I can do?" I asked quietly.

She let out a humorless chuckle. "You can leave Edward alone."

My eyes narrowed and I tried in vain to fight back my fury, repeatedly telling myself I wasn't really the problem here and she was just trying to get a reaction out of me. "Do you really mean that?" I finally managed to get out through gritted teeth. She didn't respond, just rolled her eyes. "You do realize you're not being fair to me, don't you? I just want to help."

"I don't need your help, _Bella_!" Now she just sounded angry, and I tried to decide whether or not that was better than the lack of emotion she had shown so far. She went on, her voice rising, "Edward and I never argued before you showed up. Now you're all he cares about. My life is falling to pieces, and ever since you got your claws in him, my brother's too brainwashed to even notice!"

While I did sympathize with her, she had gone too far with that last comment. "Just listen to yourself! I didn't do anything wrong, Alice. And I certainly haven't _brainwashed_ anyone - that's just ridiculous!" I took a deep breath, forcing myself to calm down. "Look, we're clearly not getting anywhere with this. Edward will be back any minute. Why don't we just... ignore each other until then?"

She just grunted something, which I took as a sign of agreement. I didn't know why I even bothered - maybe it was the fact that she was still important to Edward, or maybe it was just out of pity - but I felt a sudden urge to try to placate her, so I said in the most polite tone I could muster, "Can I get you something to drink?"

Having almost definitely expected some sarcastic remark, maybe even another outburst, I was more than a little surprised when she actually responded in a calm, yet somewhat strained voice, "Some water would be good. I'll just get it myself." I just nodded as she made a beeline for the kitchen and I got the feeling she was eager to put some distance between us. If that was the case, I couldn't blame her.

This was really awkward. Not to mention that I felt like a complete failure. Even after everything Alice had done, I still genuinely wanted to help her, but she obviously hated me too much to even let me try. And for what reason? Falling in love with her brother? I felt my chest tighten as I recalled her cruel comment about leaving Edward alone. It would never happen.

To my utter relief, Edward walked through the door a moment later, carrying a large plastic bag filled with take-out containers. I fought back the huge lump in my throat and ran over to him, throwing my arms around his neck. "Edward, Alice is okay. She was sitting outside the door when I got up here and I let her inside. She's in the kitchen getting some water."

"What?" He stared at me in disbelief, as if searching my face for some sign that I was serious. He must have found what he was looking for because in the next moment, I felt his entire body relax. "She's really okay?" he asked, his voice cracking a little. I nodded, rubbing his arms in a soothing gesture. "Where was she? Did she tell you?"

I shook my head apologetically. "Um, we didn't really talk much. I'm sure she'll tell you if you ask, though. She obviously didn't come here to see _me_."

His eyes turned concerned. "She wasn't... rude to you, was she?" There was a hint of worry in his voice.

Somehow, I manage to give him a small, reassuring smile. "Nothing I couldn't handle. Really, baby, don't worry about me. Just go talk to your..." my voice trailed off and I tried listening for any sound coming from the kitchen, realizing it had been a while since Alice left the room. She must have heard us talking, which meant she had to know Edward was back. So why hadn't she returned?

"Bella?" Edward asked in sudden alarm, his eyes darting between me and the closed door leading to the kitchen. The bag of food dropped to the floor.

It was probably nothing. Maybe she was just lost in her thoughts, or maybe she needed a few more minutes to herself before she would be ready for the confrontation with her brother. All those thoughts crossed my mind as Edward and I simultaneously rushed into the kitchen, calling out Alice's name.

Surely we were overreacting. And yet, deep down, I already knew what we would find in there would be bad. I couldn't explain it - it was just a feeling. And I was right.

I gasped, "Oh my God..."

Alice was standing with her back toward us, one arm raised over the kitchen sink.

In the other hand, she was holding a knife.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Just a quick note. I realize I can't please everyone. Honestly, I'm not even trying to - I just want to tell my story. A few of my readers have complained about too much drama revolving Alice, and have kindly asked me to move past it and go back to Bella and Edward. Believe me, I'm not trying to be rude, but things will play out the way I have planned from the very beginning and I will not change a thing. I'm addressing the issue here because, for all I know, there could be more of you who are silently sharing this opinion. Those of you who used to read Loner know that everything I write in my stories happen for a reason. I'm not one for creating drama just for the sake of it. So I'm asking you to trust me. If you're still not happy with the progress in this story, then I'm sorry but there's not much I can do. To everyone who keep showing me your support and letting me know you're enjoying this, thank you so much!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 32<strong>

**Edward**

"Alice, what are you doing?" I whispered, my voice trembling, much to my dismay. I realized the importance of staying calm in a situation like this, but I couldn't help it. My sister was standing merely a few feet away, holding a fucking knife against her wrist. One careless move, and... hell, I couldn't even finish the thought in my head.

She didn't respond at first, and I wondered if she even realized Bella and I had entered the room. I knew I had to get the damn knife away from her, and fast, but at the same time I was afraid of approaching her. Who knew what was going through her mind right now?

I heard Bella inhale sharply next to me, but I couldn't look at her, not daring to take my eyes away from Alice. She had yet to move, just standing there completely still with her back towards me and I wished I could see her face. As it was, I had no idea what to expect from her.

When she suddenly spoke, I got so startled I nearly jumped a mile. "I'm thinking," she mumbled, gently turning the knife over in her hand.

My heart was beating wildly but I knew better than letting my panic show. "Thinking about what?" I asked carefully, hesitating before taking just one small step closer. When she remained silent, I suppressed an impatient sigh. "Alice, can you turn around, please? Just look at me."

She shook her head. "It's better this way. I don't want to risk getting blood on your floor."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Bella open her mouth as if to say something and then quickly close it again, and for that I was grateful. Something told me Alice wouldn't react well to Bella's input, no matter how good her intentions may be. It seemed like Bella could read my mind because she slowly took a step back. I gave her a brief but intense look, silently pleading with her to understand.

She held my gaze for a moment and gave me a quick nod, letting me know we were on the same page. Then she discreetly slipped out of the room, although I knew she wouldn't go far. I could see in her eyes that she was most reluctant to leave me, but at the same time, she trusted that I knew what I was doing.

Funny, because I didn't have a fucking clue.

"Alice, you're not going to hurt yourself," I told her firmly, sounding much more confident than I really was. "Just... put the knife down, or hand it over to me. Then we'll talk. Okay?"

"Talk about what?" she asked in a small voice. "Are you going to convince me of how much I have to live for?"

"I shouldn't _have_ to convince you." I fought the lump in my throat and swallowed. "I will, if that's what it takes, but... God, Alice, you have to see this isn't the answer. We'll work it out, I promise. Just don't do anything stupid. Please." I let out a shuddering breath. "Don't you know it would kill me if something happened to you?"

A mixture of a laugh and a sob escaped her. "Something is already happening to me, Edward. Can't you tell?" She tilted her head to the side, thoughtfully watching the object in her hand. "I wonder what will hurt the most. This?" Before I even got the chance to react, she closed her fist around the sharp blade of the knife and then swiftly pulled it out, letting out a soft hiss. "Or slowly going insane."

"You're not going insane!" I growled, suddenly fed up with it all. "You're sick, Alice, but that doesn't make you crazy. And neither was _he_." At first she just ignored my comment and held up her hand, staring in what seemed like fascination as a single drop of blood fell into the sink. I noted with relief that it only seemed to be a shallow cut.

So far, anyway.

I watched how her shoulders slumped. "You never talk about him. Hell, even before he... when he was still alive. You would barely look at him. He was our dad, Edward." I just nodded - even though I knew she couldn't see me - not trusting my voice to hold should I try to speak. Alice took a deep breath. "You blamed him for the way you looked. But he passed something on to me as well. And I..."

When she fell silent, I took another step forward. "And you... what?"

I wasn't prepared for her to spin around, her hand still clutching the knife, but it was her eyes that sent a shiver down my spine. They were full of anger, dark and accusing. "You keep wining about being fat, but you can't seem to get into your thick head that you can do something about that. I can't change what I am, but _you_ can. You just don't want to. For that I resent you, even though I hate myself for it."

My mouth fell open and I stared at her, feeling like I had just been punched in the stomach. My sister had just told me she resented me, just like I used to resent our father - which I realized had been both immature and unfair of me, but I just couldn't help how I felt, and neither could Alice. I could hardly blame her, but that didn't make it any less painful to hear. I swallowed.

"How long have you felt this way?" She just shrugged, and now I could see the guilt in her eyes. Maybe it had been there all along and I just hadn't seen it before. A thought occurred to me and I suddenly felt physically ill. "This whole thing with Bella... You haven't been trying to protect me after all, have you? That's not the real reason you've wanted to split us up. You just don't think I deserve to be happy."

Alice's eyes widened and she started shaking her head in protest. "No, Edward! After what happened with Vicky-"

"Forget about Vicky and stop using her as a fucking excuse!" I yelled, causing her to jump slightly. "That bitch means nothing! Yes, she hurt me, but guess what? I've moved on. So why can't you? Just cut the bullshit, Alice. You just told me how you really feel about me. Now, I asked you a question and I want an honest answer. Have you been lying to me all along?"

A choked sob escaped her and she looked down at the knife in her hand. "I tried to be good," she whispered almost desperately. "But it's like I have a strange voice in my head, telling me things I don't want to hear, but I can't shut it out. It just never stops, and it makes me... angry. That's when I feel like you..." she wiped away a stray tear, "...like you should be suffering as well."

The most horrifying thought hit me - if she had really wanted to hurt herself, she could have done so several times by now and I wouldn't have been able to stop her, because I was completely frozen in shock after what she had just revealed. Never in a million years had I seen this coming and it was way too much to take in all at once, but I had to push it away for now and focus on getting rid of that fucking knife.

"Alice..." My voice cracked and I cleared my throat. "I hear you, and I respect your feelings. Just please give me the knife. I know you're upset right now, but it'll be okay. Just trust me."

She kept staring at the knife, like hypnotized. Then she shook her head and blinked a few times, as if trying to clear her head. Finally she raised her head and looked up at me. "I think I need help." Her voice was barely more than a whisper.

My eyes were stinging but I flat out refused to break down now. Instead I nodded in agreement. "I think you do, too," I told her sincerely.

For the longest time, she just stood there, her eyes darting between me and the sharp object she was still clutching like a lifeline. "Sometimes I want to hurt myself," she mumbled softly, and I wasn't sure she even meant for me to hear her or if she was just stating a fact to herself. "But I don't want to die."

I slowly took another step forward, my eyes locked on hers, and wordlessly held my hand out. After what seemed like an eternity, she let out a defeated sigh and placed the knife in my palm. I could have cried with relief, but I didn't. Instead I just put it down on the table, making sure it would be out of her reach should she suddenly change her mind.

"Let me see your hand." No longer afraid to approach her, I quickly closed the distance between us and carefully reached for her wrist.

She quickly hid it behind her back and shook her head. "It's just a scratch. It doesn't even hurt anymore."

"Okay, but..." I hesitated. "Alice, you said yourself you need help. Will you let me take you to the hospital?" It took a while before she responded, but finally she nodded, although somewhat reluctantly. I nodded as well, unable to hide my relief. "Good." My eyes fell on the empty beer bottle on the kitchen counter. "Um, I guess I shouldn't be driving. I can call a cab, or... Bella could take us."

I held my breath as her eyes narrowed, wondering if I had just made a huge mistake. Then she let out a deep sigh and shrugged. "Whatever you want. I really don't care how we'll get there." She was quiet for a moment before asking quietly, "Do you hate me?"

"No." The word was out of my mouth before I realized I had spoken. It was the truth, though. I could never hate her, but I wasn't exactly happy with her, either. However, right now, all that mattered was to make sure my sister finally got the help she needed. We had the rest of our lives to work on mending our damaged relationship, if such a thing was even possible.

All I knew was that things could never go back to the way they used to be between me and Alice. I had just been fooling myself holding on to hope for so long. While there was nothing I would like more, I could see now that it simply wouldn't happen.

"A part of me want you to hate me," she confessed in a low voice. "That would make it easier."

"Yeah, easier for you, maybe." I shook my head in irritation. "But it would tear me up inside." Alice nodded thoughtfully. I quickly changed the subject. "All right, I'll ask Bella to drive us to the hospital. Are you ready?"

Alice grimaced. "Hardly." I opened my mouth but she went on before I could say anything, "But I don't have a choice. I know. I don't want feel like this anymore." A pause. "They'll put me on medication, won't they?"

"Probably." I really fucking hoped so. "It's going to be all right. Do you want to call Jasper?"

She hesitated. "I'll call him later. Right now... Let's just go, okay? Before I'll chicken out and change my mind." That's when I noticed how pale she was and realized she had to be terrified. I tried to come up with something encouraging to say, but my mind was suddenly blank. Maybe I was just too exhausted in that moment to even think about a way to offer my comfort and support. It sure felt that way.

When I thought about everything that had happened today, it seemed almost surreal. Like a bad dream. And I just wanted to wake up, preferably in bed with Bella by my side. I took a deep breath and called out for my girl, knowing she would be close enough to her me, "Bella? Could you come in here, please?"

It was time to go. I could only pray they would be able to help Alice and put an end to this fucking nightmare.

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><p>I had come to loathe the hospital, especially the waiting area. The chairs were hard and uncomfortable, and the only couch in the room was already occupied by two elderly women who wouldn't stop complaining - loudly - about everything from the weather to the tasteless sandwiches in the cafeteria. And every now and again, they would both turn to stare at me like I was some kind of circus freak.<p>

Bella was sitting next to me, squeezing my hand tightly and sending the two old hags death glares every time they looked my way. I knew she was just itching to call them out on their rudeness, but she must have caught my pleading look and slight shake of the head, because she thankfully stayed silent, even though I could tell she was fuming on the inside.

The last thing I wanted was to draw any unnecessary attention to myself, although I had to admit a part of me had to fight the urge to just stand up and yell, 'yes, I know I'm fat - just get the fuck over it!' It would be pointless, though, and I seriously doubted Bella would approve. She hated when I said things like that.

We sat there waiting quietly for what felt like hours but in reality wasn't nearly as much - either that or the clock on the wall was broken. Suddenly Jasper emerged from a door down the corridor, looking lost for a moment before his eyes landed on me and Bella. I raised my hand in a wave and he quickly strode toward us.

It turned out Bella had called him while I was talking to Alice, and he showed up shortly after we had arrived at the hospital, looking like hell. He seemed grateful that I had been able to convince her to come here, but at the same time, he obviously still felt that he had failed her. I didn't have the heart to tell him about the incident with the knife, leaving that decision to Alice.

Bella and I stood up as Jasper stopped in front of us, his eyes tired but hopeful - a huge contrast to how he had looked before. He even managed a small smile. "I've been talking to one of the doctors. He assured me it was the right thing to come here. They're keeping her until they get all test results back, and then we will discuss what kind of treatment she needs." There was relief in his voice.

"Sounds like a good start. I'm sure things will only get better now." Bella offered him a sympathetic smile. "Are you okay, Jasper?"

"Yeah, I guess." He hesitated a little. "Actually, the doctor I spoke to suggested I'd talk to someone. You know, like a professional. He thought it might help me come to terms with everything."

Bella nodded slowly, a thoughtful look on her face. "How do you feel about that?"

Jasper shrugged. "It'll probably be a little awkward at first, but I think it'll be worth it in the long run. Plus, Alice is going to need my support. If I can just get some help sorting it all out in my head, I'm sure it'll be a lot easier for me to focus on her and her needs. Because right now, I just feel..." he shrugged again, searching for the right words, "I don't know. Guilty, I guess, for letting it go on for so long."

We were all silent for a moment. Finally Bella cleared her throat. "I don't know about you two, but I could use some coffee, and maybe something to eat. Think I'll head down to the cafeteria. You guys want me to get you something?" I got the feeling she was trying to give Jasper and me a moment in private. Of course, it _was_ possible that she was just hungry. After all, we never got to eat before we left.

Jasper politely declined her offer. Normally, I would be starving right about now. But to be honest, food was the last thing on my mind. In fact, the mere thought of eating anything at the moment made me feel sick to my stomach. I wasn't sure why, and I didn't really care. So I shook my head as well. "No thanks, love. I'll just wait here if you want to go grab something for yourself."

Bella gave me a quick but tender kiss and promised to be back soon. When she was out of sight, Jasper spoke up quietly, "The doctor said she's talking to some kind of psychologist right now, and then they will let me see her. I'm gonna go see if they're finished, but first..." He sighed. "I just want to thank you, Edward. I don't know what you said to her, but I doubt she'd be here if it wasn't for you."

I waved my hand in dismissal. The truth was, I hadn't really done much. If anything, it was pure luck that Alice had been willing to see reason, for the first time in God knew how long. As far as I was concerned, Jasper was giving me more credit than I deserved. And it made me uncomfortable. "I just hope she gets the help she needs," I mumbled.

"Me too," he nodded in agreement. "But she's taken the first step. They have to help her now."

After he had left, I found myself alone with my thoughts as I waited for Bella to return. I briefly considered to go look for her, but I really didn't feel like being around a lot of people right now, and I was certain the cafeteria would be way too crowded for my liking. Here it was blissfully quiet, especially since those two old... _ladies_ had left a while ago. I cringed as I recalled their judgmental eyes.

I didn't get to enjoy the quiet for very long before the silence started to bother me. With no one around to distract me, there was nothing keeping my mind from wandering, and I didn't like the direction my thoughts were heading. I tried to stay positive, telling myself this was the best thing that could have happened, all things considering, but it sadly didn't bring me much comfort.

Alice's words had hit me like a ton of bricks. Obviously, we both had serious health problems, which we had chosen to ignore for a long time. But according to her, there was a huge difference between us. She had basically told me straight out that she thought I was being lazy for not doing something about my weight. And the worst part was, I couldn't even argue with that. It wasn't like she was wrong.

I had been obese for as long as I could remember, and frankly, it was all I knew. Of course, I had always dreamed about losing weight, but it was also a very scary thought. As much as I longed for a normal sized body, it seemed like an impossible task. I was ashamed to admit it, but the truth was, the mere idea of failing made me too afraid to even try.

Yeah, I was a fucking coward.

In my defense, it wasn't that I didn't _want_ to start living healthier, but I honestly didn't know where to begin. Not like I could just stop eating, and joining a gym was out of the question - I would feel too humiliated to even step through the doors, let alone attempt to actually work out.

Deep down, I knew I was just making up excuses, which in turn made me feel even more pathetic. It was a vicious fucking circle.

"Edward?" A somewhat familiar voice snapped me out of my depressing thoughts and I looked up, startled, only to find myself looking into the concerned eyes of Dr. Carlisle Cullen. "I didn't expect to see you here. Is everything all right?"

I'm not sure why I was surprised to see him, seeing how I already knew he was working at the hospital, but he had caught me off guard and I couldn't help but feel a bit awkward. Not only had this man been treating me after the car accident and most likely seen me practically naked, but he also happened to date my mother.

It was a small world sometimes.

Trying not to let my uneasiness show, I nodded in greeting. "Hello, Dr. Cullen. I came here with my sister. She's..." I stopped, not really wanting to reveal anything too personal, but he _was_ a doctor after all. "She'll be okay, but she's going to be staying here for a while," I finished explaining.

"I see," he nodded in understanding, although I could see a hint of worry in his eyes. It hit me that I had completely forgotten to call Mom; surely she would want to know what was happening to her daughter. Or maybe Jasper had already filled her in. It hadn't occurred to me to ask at the time.

"Listen," he went on when I didn't offer any further information, "I realize this may not be a good time, but since we're both here... Do you mind if I sit with you for a moment? There is something I would like to talk to you about."

"No, that's cool." I gestured for him to sit down. "I'm just waiting for Bella. She went down to the cafeteria."

He smiled. "Well, then I'll just keep you company until she returns. My shift is over, so I don't have to get back to work tonight." A pause. "Edward, the reason I wanted to talk to you... I mean, I know your mother spoke to you about..." A chuckle escaped him. "This is ridiculous. I'm forty-six years old and I'm acting like a nervous teenager. The thing is, Esme is very important to me. I hope you will give me a chance to prove that my intentions are nothing but honorable."

I frowned. It wasn't like I had any doubts about that; I could already tell he was a good, genuine man, and I wasn't opposed to the idea of my mom getting a second chance at love. God knew she deserved it. What I didn't understand was why he felt that my opinion mattered. After all, we were all grown-ups.

"Look, Dr. Cullen..." I started, but he held up a hand and shook his head in objection. I gave him a questioning look.

"Please, call me Carlisle, or Carl. As far as I'm concerned, there's no reason why we shouldn't be on a first-name basis." He looked me right in the eyes. "Edward, I would like for us to be friends. Would that make you uncomfortable?"

I hesitated for a second and then slowly shook my head. "No, that's fine by me. You can never have too many friends, right?"

His relief was palpable. "I'm very glad you feel that way. Thank you." I just nodded in acknowledgment. We were both quiet for a moment before Carlisle spoke again. "I hope you understand I didn't ask you anything about your sister out of respect. I get the feeling it's personal, and we don't know each other that well yet. I like to think of myself as a good listener, though, if you ever need anyone to talk to."

"Um, okay. Thanks." I had to admit, I was touched by his offer.

"So," he changed the subject, "Why don't you tell me a little about yourself? Esme mentioned you used to play the piano when you were living at home. Do you still play?"

I shrugged. "Not really. I liked to play when I was younger, but I sort of taught myself; I didn't really know what I was doing." The truth was, the piano had belonged to my father, although for as long as I could remember, he had never once sat down to play. It was my mom who insisted I'd bring it with me when I moved out. "I started taking lessons a few years back," I mumbled, only to stop abruptly.

Carlisle didn't need to hear about that. I just wanted to forget the whole thing.

However, his interest was piqued. "Oh. May I ask what happened? I mean, you gave me the impression you don't play anymore."

I realized he hadn't been kidding when he said he was a good listener. Somehow, he was just easy to talk to, even though he was right when he stated that we barely knew each other. Before I could stop myself, the words came spilling, "The woman who were giving the lessons were a couple of years older than me. She was pretty cool, but she had a younger boyfriend who wasn't as..." I hesitated, "...nice."

The unpleasant memories came washing over me, causing me to cringe. I could still recall the guy's taunting voice - I never knew his name - and would never forget his mocking laugh and cruel words the first time I ran into him. When I came back for my second lesson, he appeared in the doorway before we had even started. And he had brought a bunch of friends. Needless to say, I never went back after that.

Carlisle looked appalled when I was finished telling him the humiliating story. "And you never reported the incident? It sounds most unprofessional to me."

"It was a long time ago," I shrugged. "Doesn't matter anymore."

He didn't look convinced, but clearly decided to let it go. "Well, do you have any other hobbies or interests? For example, are you into sports? I play golf every Saturday."

I snorted. "What I know about sports, I've learned from the TV. For obvious reasons, I could never play anything myself." He looked confused, so I clarified, "Just look at me. I don't exactly strike you as the athletic type, do I?"

Carlisle was quiet for so long, I started to worry I had offended him somehow. I was just about to apologize when he spoke up, calmly, "Would you like to change that?" I just looked at him blankly, unsure of what he meant. "You just said you're not athletic. Do you want to be? I'm only asking because you don't sound very happy with yourself."

So, he caught onto that? I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. "No, Carlisle, I'm not happy with myself at all. My own sister resents me, for crying out loud."

I half expected him to say something sympathetic, maybe pat me on the shoulder and give me some crappy pep talk about everyone's equal worth. He didn't. Instead he reached into his pocket and pulled out a tiny notepad and a pen. Then he quickly scribbled something down, tore off the small piece of paper, and handed it to me without a word.

"What's this?" I asked suspiciously, glancing at the unfamiliar name and phone number he had written.

"Carmen is an old friend of mine." He put the notepad and pen back down in his pocket. "She's also an excellent dietician. If you're truly interested in a change of lifestyle, then I can't think of anyone more qualified to help you. Just take some time to think about it." He looked at his watch. "I should get going. It was nice talking to you, Edward. I hope to see you again soon. Please, tell Bella I said hi."

I just nodded, all of a sudden at a loss for words. As soon as he was gone, I looked down at the crumpled note in my hand. A change of lifestyle? Was that even possible? I had to admit the thought was appealing, though. At the very least, I could do as Carlisle asked and give it some serious thought.

Or maybe that would be a mistake. Maybe I shouldn't think at all. For once in my life, maybe I should just act.

Before I even realized what I was doing, I had pulled out my cell phone.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33**

**Bella**

I had been trying to stay as calm and composed as I could, but in reality, I was a lot more shaken up about the whole thing than I was letting on. The incident with Alice and the knife had hit close to home, and the flashbacks and memories of myself at thirteen in a similar situation kept coming back to me throughout the day.

My first instinct had been to do everything in my power to get the knife away from Alice so she wouldn't be able to harm herself, and it was very hard for me to walk away and leave Edward to deal with it, but I knew deep down it was the right thing to do. Alice didn't like me, and she most likely wouldn't respond to anything I said to her. For all I knew, my presence could have made it even it worse.

I didn't know what her intentions were at the time, but the fact that she had chosen to come to Edward's place made me suspect it was more a cry for help than an actual attempt to hurt herself. Either way, it scared the living crap out of me, and I knew it had shaken Edward to the core as well. Now when it was finally over and Alice was safe at the hospital, my thoughts started wandering.

And I started comparing my reaction tonight to how Renee had reacted when she caught _me_ with a knife all those years ago. She had freaked out, sure, but when all was said and done and she had ordered me to pack my bag after informing me we were leaving first thing in the morning, she had walked out of the room like nothing happened.

She didn't even bother to take the knife with her. Mortified and embarrassed, I was the one who had to pick the damn thing up and carry it downstairs to the kitchen where I put it back in the same drawer I had found it. Later I would realize that had I really been suicidal, my mom really made it easy for me.

Back then, I never would have blamed Renee for anything. She was my mother and could do no wrong, simple as that. Now I knew how naive I had been.

A part of me wondered what Charlie had said to her to make her leave me alone, but at the same time, I didn't want to know. It didn't really matter, anyway. Blood wasn't always thicker than water, and just because Renee had given birth to me didn't mean I needed her in my life. I had objected when Charlie hinted that she was to blame for my food problems, but I knew deep down she was the catalyst.

I couldn't dwell on that now, though. Maybe I was still haunted by the past, but Alice's problem was here and now, and it had come to affect everyone around her. On the way back to his apartment, Edward had explained to me what Alice said to him in the kitchen. The words alone were enough to make me shiver, but what bothered me the most was the look of absolute devastation on his face.

At least one good thing - aside from Alice getting the help she needed - seemed to have come from this whole mess. I learned that Carlisle had approached Edward while I was at the cafeteria, and it seemed like the doctor had given him the motivation he needed to face his health issues. He had even made an appointment with the dietician Carlisle referred him to, and I couldn't be more proud of him.

Edward had actually seemed quite proud of himself as well - until we got home and it was all starting to sink in. Then he just about had a full-blown panic attack, similar to the one he had when he was in the hospital. It scared the hell out of me, but thankfully I was able to calm him down. That was when he finally crumbled.

"I can't do this, Bella," he sobbed, not objecting when I climbed into his lap and wrapped myself around him. "I'm going to fail before I even start, and then Alice is going to hate me even more than she already does. And she's right to resent me. All this time I've just been sitting on my fat ass, feeling sorry for myself. No wonder she thinks I'm pathetic."

I shook my head in protest but he went on, "I know you don't want to hear it, but it's the truth. I'm not happy with the way I look. Never was. But instead of actually admitting to myself that I'm the only one responsible for my life, I've pushed it all away and acted like a helpless victim, hell, I even blamed my own father! So look me in the eyes, Bella, and tell me I'm not the lowest creature on the fucking planet."

"Edward..." I knew I could tell him he was wrong; I could argue with him and list all the reasons why I loved him and thought the world of him, but I had already done that a million times before and it just seemed meaningless at this point. Instead I gently took his face between my hands and held his gaze, forcing him to look at me. "I will ignore your last comment. Now, tell me what you want to do."

He blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"I mean exactly what I say, baby." I ran my knuckles lovingly down his cheek. "I know you're scared and I completely understand. No one could blame you. But the question is, will you let your fear stand in your way? Forget about what you _think_ you can or cannot do. Do you _want_ to lose weight?" He nodded. "Are you willing to give it an honest-to-God try?"

His Adam's apple bobbed, but he remained silent and I could practically see the conflict inside his head. I picked up his hand, gave it a squeeze and went on, "Because if you are, if your mind is set on really trying, then you _will_ succeed. Don't you see? It's your life, Edward, just like you said. You don't owe anything to anyone but yourself. As long as you try your hardest, do the best you can, then you simply can't fail."

Hope flickered in his eyes for a second, but he didn't look totally convinced. "You don't know that. What if I start seeing this dietician, do everything she tells me, and I still won't lose any weight?"

I shrugged. "Then I guess she's just not good enough at what she does for a living. But sweetie, Carlisle obviously has faith in her, or he wouldn't have recommended her to you in the first place. He believes she can help you. Are you brave enough to give her a chance? Or will you just keep sitting around feeling sorry for yourself?" I hated myself for adding the last part, but I also knew he needed that final little push.

He grimaced, and I knew the disgust I could see in his eyes was directed at himself. I sighed. "Edward, you know I love you, no matter what you look like. You've always been beautiful to me, inside and out. All I care about is your health. That should be your main priority and the real reason for you to consider this, not Alice's or anyone else's opinion about you. They don't really matter. But _you_ do. You are _so_ important, baby, and you don't even seem to realize it. To me, you're everything. With or without the extra pounds. And..." I swallowed, "I don't think I could live without you. I don't _want_ to."

"Bella..." His eyes were shining, the tears threatening to spill. "I know all that, at least in here," he placed a hand over his heart. "But I've been avoiding difficult confrontations all my life. I told you how I've always wanted to lose weight, but the truth is, I never had a reason to really try before. So I just ignored the problem, even though I knew it wouldn't go away. I was weak, and..." he shook his head. "Hell, I still am. I _do_ want this, but I'm afraid I won't be strong enough."

"No." I shook my head in objection. "Edward, I've told you before; you're stronger than you give yourself credit for." A single tear rolled down his cheek and I gently wiped it away. "And you know I'll be there, every step of the way. It won't be easy, but I promise you won't have to go through it alone. However, the final decision has to be yours. Now, I'm asking you - are you going to do this? Honest-to-God, no turning back?"

"Yes." This time there was no room for hesitation in his voice. "I will give it my best. And I won't back down." He leaned in to give me a soft peck on the lips. "Thank you." I smiled widely at him, the pride I felt of him in that moment making my heart swell.

* * *

><p>An hour later, Edward was taking a shower and I went into the kitchen to get something to drink. My stomach growled and I realized I was hungry. We didn't get to eat earlier like we had planned, and the only thing I'd had since my small salad at lunch was some coffee and a chocolate bar I bought at the hospital. I figured Edward might be hungry as well, so I decided to make a couple of sandwiches.<p>

I found a loaf of bread in one of the cupboards, next to an open box of Twinkies, and my mouth instantly watered. I used to love those when I was a kid, but I couldn't remember the last time I had one. My eyes lingered on the pastries for a moment before I tore my gaze away with determination and instead pulled out the bread.

Then I went over to the fridge and gathered what I would need for the sandwiches - tomatoes, cheese, sliced ham and butter - and focused on my task. When I was finished, I found myself once again glancing at the cupboard. Oh, what the hell, I could have _one._ Edward probably wouldn't want them anyway, seeing how he was set on losing weight, and it would be a shame to let them all go to waste.

The Twinkie was just as sweet and delicious as I remembered, but I couldn't help but feel a bit guilty afterwards - I shouldn't be eating things like that. I quickly closed the box and was about to put it away, but something made me hesitate. Before I knew it, I had opened it again and picked up another one.

There were only a few left and I bit my lip, conflicted. I knew Edward would most likely be happy to know I was eating something - he always got that worried look on his face whenever he caught me picking at my food. And they tasted so good. I didn't really think before taking a bite of the next one.

So, maybe I would gain a few pounds from this, but what was the big deal? I could just throw up later, when Edward was asleep, and get rid of it.

I had barely finished that thought before I gasped loudly and froze dead in my tracks.

_Oh my God, what am I thinking?_

The half-eaten Twinkie dropped to the floor. I automatically raised my hand to lick the crumbs off my sticky fingers, but a sudden wave of nausea welled over me and I rushed to the sink and turned the faucet so I could wash my hands. My heart was beating wildly and I didn't even try to fight back the shame. Instead I wallowed in it.

What was wrong with me? Here I was, encouraging my boyfriend to get healthier, only to hide out binging in the kitchen when he was out of sight. And the worst part was, I was seriously considering sticking my fingers down my throat, just to justify my sick desire to scarf down a few Twinkies.

I didn't do things like that anymore. I was supposed to be cured.

Except for that unfortunate cookie incident a few nights ago. After which I had assured my father I was doing so much better.

The words _eating disorder _started echoing in my head, playing up over and over again like a disturbing mantra. No. That just wasn't me. It couldn't be. Maybe before, I had been heading in that direction, but not anymore. I had promised myself to stop, and I had been doing really well for so long. The other night was just a tiny little mishap. It was nothing.

Who was I kidding?

Alice was facing her problem, finally realizing it was in her best interest trying to get help. The same went for Edward, even though he had made it clear how much it scared him. They were both terrified, but it hadn't stopped them from taking the first important step - admitting to someone they needed help.

And what about me? It just hit me that my own issues were just as serious, and yet here I was denying it to myself. It was just minutes ago that I had told Edward how I worried about his health, and it didn't even occur to me at the time what a hypocrite I was for uttering those words. Binging on snacks and junk food wasn't healthy, nor was attempting to purge myself by vomiting. It was sick.

_I_ was sick.

_Eating disorder, eating disorder, eating disorder..._

A whimper escaped me and I slid down to the floor. The realization hit me like a bucket of ice water. I didn't want to end up like Alice and hurt the people who loved me the most, but who was to say I was any better? I was lying to my father, to Edward, and worst of all - I was lying to myself by pretending I had everything under control.

Control? What a joke! I wasn't in control of anything. Least of all myself.

This had to stop. _I_ had to stop. Right now.

"Bella? What's wrong? Why are you on the floor?" Edward was standing in the doorway, his hair still wet from the shower, and he was staring at me with a bewildered look on his face. I tried to give him an assuring smile to show him I was okay, but instead I promptly burst into tears. His expression went from confusion to alarm, and he was at my side in the blink of an eye.

"I'm sorry," I sniffled, clinging to him as he wrapped me up in his arms. "Edward, I just realized something. And it's scaring the hell out of me."

"What?" There was a hint of panic in his voice, although I could tell he was doing his best to hide it. "Talk to me, love. What is it?"

I let out a shuddering breath, burying my face in the crook of his neck. "I have an eating disorder." The words came out a bit muffled.

It took a moment before he finally responded, "I know." I pulled back abruptly to stare at him in shock. He shook his head, gently stroking my cheek. "Sweetheart, I'm so proud of you for finally admitting it. I've felt like I've just been dancing around the subject ever since you first told me about your... food issues. What's with the sudden epiphany?"

"I don't know." I rolled my eyes, knowing that was a blatant lie. I just wasn't sure how to explain so it made sense. It was all a blur in my head, which made it that much harder to put words on my thoughts. "Actually, it's the whole thing with Alice, and... It just made me start thinking. God, I've been so blind!" My eyes welled up again and I tried in vain to blink away the tears.

"So have I." Edward reached out to wipe away my tears with his thumb and it wasn't lost on me how our rolls were suddenly reversed - now he was the one offering me comfort instead of the other way around. "But Bella, you made me see there's still hope for me. And the same goes for you. It's not too late to change things. We can both get better, healthier. Tell me you believe me."

I wanted to. God, how I wanted to.

"I can't do it by myself," I admitted with a sense of defeat. "I tried before, but it clearly didn't work."

He nodded in understanding. "That's okay. You're not alone. Look, I'll ask you the same question you asked me earlier, and I expect you to be honest. Are you serious about this? Are you ready to really, _really_ try this time?"

I nodded without hesitation. "Honest-to-God." He smiled and pulled me back into his arms, pressing a soft kiss to the top of my head. For the longest time, we just sat like that, neither of us wanting to break the comfortable silence. Finally I spoke up, quietly, "I mean it, though. I need to... I don't know, talk to someone. Someone who can help me, who knows how to deal with... eating disorders."

Just saying the words out loud made me shiver, but at the same time, strangely enough, instead of filling me with shame and discomfort as I had expected, I actually felt a sense of pride for being able to admit it to myself, even though it was no doubt long overdue. Maybe - just like Edward - I was stronger than I was giving myself credit for. It was a pleasant thought.

"I think that's a good idea." I could feel him breathing into my ear. It tickled, and it made me want to snuggle even closer. Combing his fingers gently through my hair, he asked softly, "Do you want me to talk to Carlisle? He obviously has connections, so he might be able to recommend someone for you. Hell, maybe even this dietician could help you as well."

"Yeah, okay." I had to stifle a yawn. "It can't hurt." The more I thought about it, the more positive I became. So many bad things had happened lately, but now it seemed like maybe it would all be worth it in the end. We were finally moving forward. The three of us - me, Edward and Alice - had each made a life-altering decision that would hopefully lead to a brighter future - not just for ourselves, but for the people closest to us as well.

I wasn't naive enough to think it would be easy, though. No, I was pretty sure the next couple of months were going to be a challenge, for all of us. But the way I saw it, as long as Edward and I had each other, we could move past every obstacle standing in our way. After all, we had so far. We just couldn't give up.

Sleep came to me easily that night, which I found a bit surprising after all the drama, but on the other hand, I figured both Edward and I were exhausted, mentally as well as physically. The next morning, Edward had to work, and since I wouldn't get on my shift at Starbucks until noon, I decided I might as well do something productive.

So I went home to my apartment and called my landlord, explaining I was planning to move out by the end of next month. Then I started to go through my stuff. After some discussion, Edward and I had agreed it would be a waste of time - not to mention a lot of unnecessary work - to first get rid of both our apartments, only to start looking for another one. We wanted to move in together for real as quickly as possible, and we had both admitted we would be perfectly happy just staying at his place for now.

After all, we were already practically living together as it was. There were only the formalities left, and I personally couldn't wait to make it official. It was just a matter of time now, and I was beyond excited to be able to take our relationship to that next level, so to speak. The thought of falling asleep in Edward's arms every night and then wake up together the next morning, knowing it wasn't just a temporary arrangement, was just thrilling.

"You look happy," Angela stated a few hours later. The coffee shop was crammed with customers - as always at that time of day - but we still managed to find those little moments every now and then when we would just talk and catch up on the latest news. I was a little taken aback by her observation, as I had expected the stress following the last couple of days to show, but apparently I was wrong.

That, or she was just being polite. But somehow, that didn't quite add up. As long as I had known Angela, she had always been honest with me. It was one of the things I liked the best about her.

"I _am_ happy, I guess." I frowned, wondering if it was possible to be happy, hopeful, apprehensive and scared, all at once. Possible or not, that was how I felt.

"That's good. I'm glad to hear it. You've seemed kind of... distracted lately." Angela grinned. "So, I take it things are going well with your man? I assume he's the reason for that constant smile on your face today." I hadn't realized I was smiling so much, and I felt my cheeks turn pink. She let out a knowing giggle at my sheepish expression. "I think it's sweet."

"I'm in love, Angela," I admitted without shame. "People in love tend to smile a lot."

"Don't I know it?" She shook her head with amusement. "Oh, that reminds me, Ben and I were talking about going out next weekend, you know - have a few drinks, maybe dance a little. We haven't decided on where to go yet. I was wondering if you and Edward would like to join us."

"Oh." I considered her offer for a moment. "Actually, it sounds like fun. I'll have to ask Edward, of course, but I'm sure..." A thought hit me and my face lit up. "Hey, would you mind if we invite another couple as well? Rose and Emmett are great. I think you'd really like them." I honestly couldn't imagine anyone who wouldn't. "Oh, and I happen to know the perfect place! It's a small pub, though, so I'm not sure about dancing, but-"

Angela cut me off with a laugh, "That's perfectly fine by me, I don't need to dance. And I don't mind you bringing your friends along, in fact, the more the merrier, right?" I grinned at her. "Well, okay, why don't you get back to me tonight, after you've talked to Edward?"

"Will do," I nodded in agreement, grabbed a dishcloth and quickly wiped off the counter before turning my attention to my next customer.

Later that night, I told Edward about Angela's suggestion and was pleased when he instantly agreed. I knew he liked the quiet atmosphere at _Eclipse_, and while he didn't know Angela or Ben, I seriously doubted either of them would make him uncomfortable. Besides, I was positive Rose and Emmett wouldn't turn down an opportunity to hang out and have drinks.

We could all need some fun after the last weekend.

The rest of the week passed relatively quickly. On Wednesday, which was Edward's day off, he went to see the dietician, Carmen, for the first time. He came back looking more than a little overwhelmed, but also more positive than I had seen him in a long time. Maybe it was just what he needed - someone else, beside me, telling him there was hope for him.

And I finally realized there was hope for me as well.

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: We're getting close to the end, you guys. Right now, I estimate two more chapters, of which the last one will be split in half between EPOV and BPOV. I could probably make this story twice as long, but I honestly feel it's time to let our lovable couple go, sad as it may be. To all of you who are still with me, thank you from the bottom of my heart! See you in a week.<strong>


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter 34**

**Bella**

"There, I'm done!" I proudly put the last one of the small, empty glasses down on the table before turning to Rose with a giggle, pointing my finger accusingly at her. "I can't believe I let you talk me into doing this! And I was already tipsy before. I'm so holding you responsible for anything embarrassing I'm bound to say or do after this."

She laughed, shaking her head and raising her hands in defense. "Hey, don't blame me - I didn't pour that alcohol down your throat! Besides, you promised me a shot race the last time we were here. You owed me this!"

"Bella's getting dru-unk..." Emmett teased in a sing-song voice. He proceeded to take a huge swig of his beer, and then burped loudly, causing everyone at the table to groan. Rosalie slapped him at the back of his head. "Oops! Sorry." He grinned lazily. "Hey, Rosie, you didn't have to hit me! I 'pologized!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes at him, although she couldn't quite hide her amusement. "Yeah, _after_ I hit you. You need to lay off the beer. Seriously, Em, I think I'm gonna tell Sam to cut you off."

"You can try." Emmett puffed out his chest. "But it sure won't stop me." He held out his fist for first Edward and then Ben to bump before raising his glass. "Here's to getting 'toxicated! Cheers!"

Angela nudged me to catch my attention, unable to keep from laughing at Emmett's antics. "You were right, Bella. He's hilarious." I grinned widely in response.

It was Saturday night, and the four of us - me, Edward, Emmett and Rose - had agreed to meet up with Angela and Ben outside the small pub, _Eclipse_, since they had never been there before, so we could all go inside together. Sam - the bartender/owner - had recognized us right away. He welcomed us warmly and offering our first round of drinks on the house.

Needless to say, Emmett was now his new best friend.

Edward and I were sitting close together, our hands entwined under the table. Every now and again, our eyes would meet and we smiled at each other. I had officially moved in with him last night, even though I still had to pay rent for my apartment for another month, and it made me deliriously happy to know we would be going home together tonight, sleeping in _our_ apartment.

Sure, we already spent practically every night together, but still, this was different. It was for real now.

He must have caught the silly grin on my face because he leaned in to whisper in my ear, "Penny for your thoughts, _roomie_." And then he winked at me.

I let out a happy sigh, resting my head on his shoulder. His arms instantly found their way around me. "Actually, I was thinking about how nice it'll be to go back to _our_ place later," I explained.

"Yeah?" He raised a brow. "Did you have anything in particular in mind?"

"Maybe..." I gave him my best seductive smile. It must have worked, because he gulped and started fidgeting in his seat. I was both amused and pleased that I obviously had that effect on him.

"Bella..." he mumbled warningly. I just batted my eyes innocently at him and he mock glared at me. Then I squealed as he playfully started tickling my side. I tried to swat his hands away but I was giggling too much. That's when I realized everyone was staring at us.

Yes, I blushed. Not like I could help it.

"Oh, come on, you two!" Emmett made a show of protecting his eyes, only to sneak a peek between his fingers. "This is a public place, you guys. Eye-fucking each other is one thing, I guess, but why should the rest of us be forced to watch your kinky foreplay?" His eyes sparkled mischievously as he removed his hands, making it clear to everyone that he was only joking.

It didn't stop me from glaring daggers at him, though. Jackass!

"Emmett, leave them alone!" Rose demanded, giving me an apologetic look and mouthing the words, 'so sorry'. But it wasn't lost on me how she struggled to hold back a giggle. 'Sorry', my ass! Angela and Ben both looked pretty amused as well.

"You're an asshole," Edward informed Emmett, but I noticed he didn't seem all that upset. In fact, he sort of looked like the cat that swallowed the canary. I rolled my eyes. Of course, I wasn't really mad at Emmett. He was just a big goofball. Honestly, he wouldn't be Emmett without torturing his friends every once in a while. Just like he wouldn't hesitate to make us all laugh at his own expense just as often.

I looked around the table, pleased to note everyone were getting along so well. Rose and Emmett had instantly hit it off with Angela and Ben, just like I had suspected they would, and I couldn't help but wonder if - to Rose and Em - the kind-hearted, married couple somehow filled the void of Alice and Jasper.

By now, Emmett and Rosalie had been filled in on pretty much everything, and they had both been stunned by the revelation of Alice's condition. I think it bothered Rosalie the most, seeing how she and Alice had been friends for so long, and while she wouldn't admit it, I got the feeling it really hurt her that Alice had never confided in her.

A part of me couldn't really blame Alice for keeping the truth to herself. Someone she trusted - who she considered a close friend - had betrayed her once before. Sometimes it seemed like Vicky's vile and selfish actions had been even more traumatizing for Alice than for Edward. At least my boyfriend didn't always automatically assume the worst of people.

Well, not anymore.

Speaking of Alice, she had been home from the hospital for the last few days, and had finally gotten her diagnosis. Just like suspected, she turned out to be bipolar, and she was now being treated medically. The doctors had assured her she would be able to pretty much live a normal life, as long as she would take her condition seriously. She would most likely be on medication for the rest of her life.

Edward had visited his sister once since she got home, and it was painfully obvious that the diagnosis itself wouldn't be enough to mend their broken relationship. For that to happen, it would take a lot of time and effort from both of them. They were both clearly ridden by guilt, but also stubborn by nature.

As far as I knew, Alice had yet to apologize to Edward for attempting to destroy his relationship with me, and until she did, I doubted he would ever truly forgive her.

I honestly couldn't say I blamed him.

"Hey, guys! Thought I saw some familiar faces in the crowd!" Jacob's booming voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I snorted at his joke - aside from the two old men sipping whiskey in the bar, the six of us were the only customers in the pub. It was a bit sad, but also one of the reasons I found the place so likable. It was nice and cozy, as well as quiet.

"Jake!" Emmett jumped up on wobbly legs, a drunken grin on his face as he shook the other man's hand. "Good to see you, man! Why don't you join us?" Then he seemed to remember his manners and quickly introduced Angela and Ben in a slightly slurred voice.

"Emmett. I see you've had a beer. Better not make it a second." Jake looked amused. He obviously remembered Emmett's low tolerance of alcohol from the last time. His remark earned an eye-roll from Emmett while the rest of us laughed. "I'd join you guys if I could, but I only stopped by to say hi to Sam." He grinned sheepishly. "I have a date tonight."

"Really?" Edward had obviously had a couple of drinks himself, and while he firmly claimed he never felt even the slightest effect of the alcohol, I would notice a small difference in him when he was drinking. It made him more outspoken, for one thing, although he probably didn't realize it himself. Now he raised a brow teasingly at Jacob. "So you've finally gotten over Bella, huh?"

I slapped his arm, unable to hide my embarrassment, but Edward just caught my hand and pressed a tender kiss to my knuckles. And I was even more embarrassed to admit I could do little more than simply melt by the sweet gesture. I gave him my best dirty look, which he pretended not to notice.

"Sure, sure," Jacob laughed, clearly seeing the humor in Edward's comment and playing along. "I was heartbroken for a long time, but..." he shook his head with a chuckle and then became serious. "All jokes aside, Bella, what was your mother thinking? Did she ever have the decency to apologize?"

I could feel Angela and Ben giving us curious looks so I quickly explained how Edward and I had first gotten to know Jacob through my mother's rude and offensive meddling. They both looked appalled, but I brushed the whole thing off, not wanting to ruin the night by thinking about Renee. So I proceeded by telling Jake that would probably never happen, and then promptly changed the subject.

Thankfully, nobody objected.

Jake stayed and chatted with us for a few more minutes before he left to pick up his date - some girl named Leah, who apparently was a year older than him. I was happy for him; he seemed like a really nice guy and he deserved someone who appreciated him for who he was. For his sake, I hoped this Leah was that kind of person.

It was past midnight when we finally decided to call it a night. While I had to admit I'd had a great time out with my friends, I couldn't wait to get home and have Edward all to myself. It seemed like he was having similar thoughts, because we just barely made it into the bedroom before he attacked me, catching my lips with his.

Not that I was complaining.

"I want you," he breathed into my mouth between kisses, tugging at my top. "You've been driving me crazy all night."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I whispered coyly, although I really was anything but. "Were my clothes that offending? In that case, I'll be happy to take them off."

"Please," he grunted, tracing kisses down my collarbone. In the next moment, clothes were pretty much flying across the room. I had quickly learned that a slightly drunk Edward was also a very horny Edward. Again, I wasn't complaining. At all.

Our love-making was usually sweet and tender, but tonight it was obvious that neither of us was in the mood for slow and gentle. I ended up on top, straddling him, and we practically devoured each other - our lips and tongues were everywhere and we just couldn't get enough.

Edward groaned loudly when I sank down on him, gripping his shoulders tightly, and I couldn't keep from moaning as I felt him start moving inside me. I knew he probably wouldn't last very long, but I fully intended to enjoy myself for as long as I could and make it as good as possible for both of us. His arms slipped around me and he pressed me close against him, thrusting up and down.

I mimicked his movements, moving along with him as he started picking up the pace, slamming into me harder and faster until I came, crying out in pleasure as I collapsed on top of him. And he wasn't far behind. For the next ten minutes or so, we were just lying there, panting, Edward running his hand lazily up and down my back.

The rest of the weekend was quiet and uneventful, Edward and I barely leaving the apartment. In all honesty, we spent most of the next day in bed, basically just leaving the room to eat and use the bathroom. It was all nice and relaxing - not to mention downright steamy at times - but we also knew we couldn't remain locked up in our private little bubble much longer.

It was with mixed emotions that I watched Edward get up and get ready for work Monday morning. Since I was working the afternoon shift at Starbucks, he insisted I'd sleep in, but somehow, the bed had lost its appeal without him in it. So I reluctantly crawled out of bed as well and went into the kitchen to start the coffee maker.

I poured both of us a bowl of cereal and some milk, and then sat down skimming through the morning paper while waiting for Edward to appear. My eyes widened as I realized Mother's Day was coming up in a few days. It had completely slipped my mind, and for a brief moment, I mourned the loss of Renee's presence in my life.

However, as I allowed my thoughts to get a little deeper, I had to admit I didn't miss Renee per se - I just missed her as a mother figure in my life. I felt bad about it for a minute or so, knowing there _had_ been moments in my life when my mother seemed to have at least tried to be there for me, but sadly, those times were few and far apart. It shouldn't be like that.

I deserved better.

An image of Esme's face flashed through my mind. I was glad at least Edward had a supportive and loving mother. Then I started thinking of Alice and wondered if she and her mom were close. Honestly, I couldn't imagine a woman like Esme _not_ having a close relationship with her children. Still, something told me Alice hadn't confided in her regarding her condition. I couldn't be certain, it was just a feeling.

For some reason, I couldn't get Alice out of my head. I wasn't naive enough to think her opinion about me had magically changed just because she was now on medication, but I couldn't help but wonder how much of her hostility had really been because of anxiety and distress, and how much was actually real.

In that moment, I made a decision. I would go see her. Today. In fact, I would do it as soon as Edward had left for work, before I got the chance to change my mind.

So, about an hour later, I was standing on the front porch outside Alice and Jasper's house, hesitating only for a second before ringing the doorbell. I hadn't told Edward about my plan, but I fully intended to fill him in tonight. It wasn't that I thought he would disapprove, but I was pretty sure he would try to talk me out of it, insisting I shouldn't put myself through what was likely to turn into an unpleasant situation.

I knew how Edward's mind worked, though. It had to be tearing him up inside that Alice and I had gotten off on the wrong foot from the very beginning, and while he didn't hide the fact that he was holding his sister fully responsible - and rightfully so, I might add - I also knew that deep down he wished things had been different. I didn't know if that was possible at this point, but I had my mind set on finding out.

Hence the reason for my surprise visit. Maybe I should have called ahead. Or maybe it was just better this way. Less awkward.

Who was I kidding? Of course this was going to be awkward. There was just no way around it.

The door swung open, and I found myself standing face to face with Alice for the first time since the night I drove her and Edward to the hospital, which was over a week ago. I sucked in a breath, taking in her appearance. She looked pretty much the same to me. Now she stared at me with a skeptical look on her face.

I spoke up quickly before I would lose my nerve, "Hi, Alice. How are you?" She just looked at me blankly. I held back a sigh. "Right. I bet you wonder what I'm doing here."

"Yeah." She nodded slowly. "But I have a feeling you're about to enlighten me."

I bit my lip. "I was hoping I could come in. But if this is a bad time...?" I left the rest of the sentence hanging.

A deep sigh escaped her and she took a step back. I was a little surprised, having expected more resistance from her. So far, she hadn't even been rude to me, which technically would have been justified, seeing how I had showed up unannounced and all. Then again, she had once showed up at my doorstep as well.

That day felt like a lifetime ago now. In a way, I suppose it was. Back before Edward became my boyfriend, when we were just starting to get to know each other. Now I could barely recall a time when he hadn't been a part of my life.

I had only been inside this house once before - at the disastrous dinner party, where I had met Jasper, Rose and Emmett for the first time. At least something good had come out of it. I had made some really great friends. I bet Alice hadn't seen that coming. Then again, how could she have known? It wasn't like she could predict the future.

"So..." Alice didn't waste any time as she showed me into the living room and gestured for me to sit down, her expression stoic now that she had obviously recovered from the shock of seeing me. "What do you want? I take it you didn't drive all the way over here just to ask me how I am."

"Well, no," I admitted, folding my hands in my lap. "But it was a genuine question." When she just raised a brow, indicating I should just get to the point, I sighed. "I'm not sure exactly why I'm here, to be perfectly honest. I just wanted to... I mean..." I searched my mind for the right words, knowing I should have thought this through a little more, but then again, if I had, I probably would've lost my courage.

"Does Edward know you're here?" she asked suddenly. I shook my head. "Huh." I couldn't quite read the look on her face, which made me somewhat uneasy.

"Look, Alice..." I needed to take control of the situation instead of just sitting here stuttering like an idiot. "I need to know what's going to happen now, for Edward's sake. I'm sorry, but if you're not even going to try to look past your... issues with him - and with me, for that matter - then I don't know if I can keep encouraging him to be patient and someday forgive you."

For a moment, she stared at me like I was suddenly speaking a foreign language. "You told him you think he should forgive me?"

"No. Not in that many words, anyway." I figured I might as well be completely honest with her. "Right now, Edward is confused. He doesn't know what he wants, what to expect from you, and it's hurting him, Alice. Yes, he's told me pretty much everything, and no, I didn't come here to throw it all back in your face. Whether you believe it or not, I'm not the kind of person who would do something like that."

When she didn't respond, I went on, "I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time right now. I know it must be really hard for you. But tell me something. Do you really believe it's right for the people who care about you - who love you - to suffer along with you?" Seeing the way her eyes narrowed, I hurried to add, "I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I really want to know."

She huffed, but when she finally spoke, she didn't sound offended - just thoughtful, "I told you once I don't care if other people hate me, as long as they don't hurt my brother. And I meant it. It just didn't occur to me at the time that maybe he really needed to be protected from _me_." She looked me right in the eyes. "I'm still the same person, Bella. I'm still me. My feelings are the same."

I figured I had my answer, then. It just didn't make any sense to me. And it was time for me to demand an explanation. "So, tell me the truth, Alice. Why do you hate me? Don't say it's because of Vicky, because she has nothing to do with me. You know that as well as I do. I want the real reason."

"Does it even matter anymore?" Alice's voice was flat, emotionless. "You've already won. Edward loves you, and nothing I say or do can change that. So what do you want from me?"

"I told you - I want the truth." My anger was rising and I refused to back down. "Do you still believe I will end up hurting him? Or is it simply that you just don't like me? In that case, I think I have the right to know why. And just for the record, I didn't _win_ anything. I never competed with you about your brother's love. He's not some object to me. He's my... life. My everything."

For a minute or so, Alice and I just glared at each other, as if trying to stare the other one down. Finally she shook her head and let out a bitter laugh. "I know all this, Bella. Remember what you told me that night at our dinner party?" I was surprised that she would bring that night up again, but I remained silent, waiting for her to go on. "You said _I_ was hurting Edward more than _you_ ever could. You were right."

I nodded slowly, unable to argue with that. "So, why are you? Do you really resent him for-"

"Don't finish that sentence," she warned me, cutting me off. "I know what I said to him. I don't have to explain my feelings to you."

"Fine." I raised my hands in surrender. "Don't explain. Just answer this. Do you think it's fair to him?"

Having almost expected her to lash out at me, I was a bit taken aback by her reaction. Her face actually softened, and her expression once again turned thoughtful. When she spoke, her voice was low, quiet, "I know I'm not being fair to anyone. Least of all Edward."

I was at a loss. "Then why are you-"

Alice continued as if I hadn't spoken, "You asked me why I hate you. I don't. Hate is such a strong word. I realize you're in love with my brother. I won't fight you anymore. It was wrong of me to do so in the first place - I can see that now. But that doesn't mean I like you. I can't explain why, because I don't know." Our eyes met, and for a second, she looked almost hopeful. "Maybe it's this disorder I have. Maybe I can't help it?"

She looked at me as if I would actually have the answer. As much as it pained me to admit, I didn't. "Maybe." I swallowed, holding her gaze. "Or maybe you just don't want to." I felt a pang in my chest as I watched some of the hope in her eyes die. "Look, Alice, you don't have to like me. I think it's safe to say you and I will never be best friends. But that's okay. There's no need for us to fight each other, though."

"Yeah." She was quiet for a moment. "I don't _want_ to feel the way I do. I don't want to hurt anyone. Irina says..." she stopped, as if she had just said too much.

"Who's Irina?" I asked, not recognizing the name.

She sighed. "My therapist. I don't want to talk about it."

I nodded in acceptance as I figured it wasn't any of my business. Maybe it was time for me to leave, anyway. At least I had some answers now. I still had some questions left, but to be honest, I wasn't sure they even mattered. I started to get up, but something made me stop and I turned back to look at her. "We all have issues, Alice. Even me." I don't know why I felt the need to tell her this, I just did.

Alice opened her mouth and then closed it again, and I could see the conflict in her eyes. Finally she nodded. "I take your word for it." I knew then she wasn't going to ask me to elaborate, even though something told me she was curious about my 'issues'. And in that moment, I also knew that if she had really wanted to know, I would have told her. Maybe not everything, though.

Deciding I had taken up enough of her time, I got up. "I meant what I said, Alice. We don't have to fight each other. I hope you and Edward will someday find your way back to each other. I promise I won't stand in your way. Um, well... Take care. Bye." With that I started for the door, but Alice called out for me, causing me to stop in my tracks with my hand on the door handle.

"Bella?" I gave her a questioning look. "Thank you." She didn't look me in the eyes when she said the last part, but I didn't mind. Instead I just nodded, feeling as if we had finally come to an understanding. And my heart felt much lighter when I left her house. I hoped that Alice felt a little better as well.

That night, I told Edward everything, just like I had promised myself I would. He had seemed a little concerned at first, but thankfully he wasn't upset with me. I got the feeling he truly understood why I had felt the need to confront Alice like that, because he told me that - as long as I had no regrets - it had been the right thing to do.

I couldn't help but wonder how Alice would react if she knew that, starting Wednesday, I would be seeing a therapist as well. It was the first step towards recovery in my case, according to Carlisle, and I saw no reason to doubt him. I was a bit nervous, but I also - strange as it may seem - found myself looking forward to it. I was ready to deal with my problems, once and for all.

Speaking of my problems, there was still one thing bugging me. I thought I could just let it go, hoping that, in time, it would stop eating at me, but it wasn't that simple. My life was slowly coming together, and even though I had just barely started facing some of the things that had been haunting me for years, I all of a sudden felt more at peace with myself than I had in... well, ever.

And yet there was something missing. I needed closure.

So that's why I found myself standing at my mother's doorstep the next day, not hesitating before knocking firmly. For once, I wasn't nervous. I just felt calm. I knew what I had to do.

The door opened, revealing Renee standing in the doorway. To say that she looked surprised to see me would be an understatement. "Isabella?" There was a hint of disbelief in her voice.

"Hello, Renee." I nodded in greeting. "We need to talk."

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><p><strong>End Notes: Next chapter will be the last, an epilogue of sorts and yet not. It will be half in EPOV and half in BPOV, and it will take place a few months after this one. I promise not to leave any loose threads hanging, just in case you're worried it seems a bit rushed. Let me assure you, I've had the ending of this story figured out in my head since I started it. Thank you all for your wonderful support and lovely reviews!<strong>


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: Here we are - the very last chapter. I'm both relieved and a bit sad that it's over. The response I've gotten for this story has been wonderful and I can't thank you guys enough. Now I'll just let you go on reading and (hopefully) enjoying the final chapter, and I'll see you in a long-ass end note at the bottom. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 35<strong>

**Edward**

If someone had told me a year ago what my life would be like, I would have laughed in their face and told them they had lost their mind. Or maybe I would have been pissed off, certain they were just mocking me. Either way, I wouldn't have believed them. And I would have been miserable, longing for what I knew I could never have.

And yet, by some miracle, I had found it.

Everything had changed that fateful day over eight months ago, when I let my sister coax me into accompanying her to the opening of a new fancy art gallery. I absolutely loathed big events like that, but for some reason, I had agreed to go. It turned out to be the best decision I had ever made in my entire life.

It was the day I met Bella for the first time. And from that moment, nothing had been the same.

_I_ was not the same. So much had happened over the last couple of months, both good and bad, but all in all, I was happier and more satisfied with my life and things in general than I had ever been before. Maybe that shouldn't be so hard to accomplish, seeing how I had never really known true happiness before Bella entered my life, but here I was, enjoying every moment of it.

Well, most days, anyway. I still had my down periods when I just felt like a big fat waste of space. But these days, it didn't take too much verbal ass kicking from my friends - or my girl - to remind me that just because I was having a bad didn't necessarily mean that the rest of the world was automatically against me.

In other words, I would still find myself in a dark hole every once in a while, where I couldn't for the life of me understand what Bella could possibly see in a reject like me. But every time it happened, it took a little less effort for me to climb back up. Then I would always apologize to Bella, knowing she was hurting right along with me whenever my self-esteem dropped like that.

And she forgave me every time. In fact, she kept assuring me there was nothing for her to forgive in the first place - that I couldn't help feeling the way I did and that she would always be there for me no matter what. Somehow, she always knew just what I needed to hear.

In turn, I did everything in my power to make her see that went both ways - I wanted to be there for her, too. And there were days when she was the one to lean on me as well, and not just the other way around. I figured we just had a way of completing each other. It was a nice thought.

It seemed like our love just grew a little stronger each day, and sometimes I couldn't help but wonder if it would always be like that, or if we would someday reach a point when we simply couldn't love each other more than we already did. But after giving it some thought, I decided to believe that true love knew no bounds. It would just keep growing for the rest of our lives. Another pleasant thought.

Less pleasant, though, was the fact that four months had passed, and things were still strained between me and Alice. In all fairness, we were both trying to move on, but it turned out to be much harder to get over the past than either of us had anticipated. We would make an effort to see each other from time to time, and while we rarely got into any arguments, it still wasn't the same.

In a way, it made me sad. But at the same time, I refused to dwell on what could have been. Things were out in the open now. We were honest with each other. And maybe someday, we would once again find that close friendship we used to have when we were younger. I was holding on to that hope.

So was our mother, by the way. I knew it had been killing her to watch me and my sister drift apart like that. At least she had Carlisle. The two of them seemed to get a little closer each time I saw them. I didn't have any problem with that, and apparently, neither did Alice. She told me once that she still missed our father a lot, though. I told her I missed him as well.

I think that might have been the first time I had ever admitted that to anyone.

Now I was waiting for Bella to come home. We had been living together for months now, and there were still moments when I had to pinch myself just to make sure it was all real. Of course, I would do so most discreetly, not wanting anyone to think I was a complete nut-case. I had always thought of my place as simply an apartment, but now, with Bella to share my space - and bed - it had become a home.

Bella made my life far more than just bearable. Before I met her, I preferred to just stay at home and hide from the world, but she actually made me want to go out and _see_ it. Live in it. And the best part was, I knew she would say the exact same thing about me. In fact, she _had_ told me, many times.

And I never got tired of hearing it. It made wonders for my self-confidence. Not to mention what it did for my bruised and battered heart.

The familiar sound of keys rattling from the other side of the door snapped me out of my thoughts and I failed to hold back a grin, knowing Bella had arrived. I pushed myself up from the couch and went to greet her, reaching the door just as it swung open and I was met by the most precious sight in the world - the smiling face of my girlfriend.

"You're home!" Bella grinned happily at me. "I thought you said you had to be working late tonight." She walked right into my waiting arms.

"Yeah, well, I got off early. Staff meeting got canceled at the last minute." I wasn't the least bit disappointed by that, seeing how it meant I got to spend more time with my girl. She smelled so sweet, like honey and apples. I couldn't help but sniff at her hair as I wrapped my arms tightly around her and hugged her close. If she noticed what I was doing, she didn't seem to mind.

"So how did it go today?" I asked when I finally - most reluctantly, I might add - released her and took a step back so I could really take in her appearance. She looked a little tired, but still beautiful as ever. Today was Tuesday, which meant it was the day of her weekly therapy sessions with Dr. Kate Stanton.

"It went well, I guess." Bella looked thoughtful for a moment. "We talked a lot about my childhood today, about whether or not I used to feel neglected by Renee as a kid. Kate pointed out a few things that never really occurred to me before. It was quite... interesting."

I nodded in understanding. "You wanna tell me about it?"

"Yeah, sure. After dinner. I'm starving." She batted her lashes at me. "What should we make tonight? I think I'm in the mood for..." she tapped her finger against her chin, "...chicken. Is that okay with you?"

"Absolutely. With steamed vegetables and rice?" Bella nodded in acceptance, leaning in to give me a peck on the lips before grabbing hold of my hand and pulling me with her towards the kitchen.

Cooking together had become somewhat of a routine for us and we both took it quite seriously. It had all started with Carmen - my dietician - making the suggestion when I confessed to her early on how I barely knew how to turn on the stove. Bella instantly jumped at the idea, and from that moment on, we pretty much made all our meals together.

Of course, in the beginning, I had mostly been observing Bella as she practically did all the work, but I was a quick learner when I wanted to be. In fact, I had even done some research on the internet, and I was seriously considering taking some kind of cooking class. Again, it had been Carmen's idea. She had taught me that I couldn't avoid food just because I needed to lose weight. I still needed to eat.

Wise words, indeed. However, that didn't change the fact that I sometimes wished I could just put a chain and a lock on the fridge - surely that would be more effective. Carmen had just laughed when I threw the suggestion out there, as if I had been joking. Although she quickly sobered up once she realized I was serious and started explaining how my body required proper nourishment.

I had decided I liked her. Carmen didn't take any bullshit from me. She had told me straight out, the first time we met, that she would only be able to help me as long as I didn't fight her. Her methods may have seemed tough at first, even downright cruel sometimes, but in the end, I truly believed she could help me - if I would let her. It was up to me whether or not I wanted to get in shape.

And to be perfectly honest, it wasn't a hard choice to make. My mind was set. Not only was I sick and tired of being referred to as 'the fat guy', but I also didn't want to end up like my dad and die of a heart attack before I was forty. I had too much to live for these days.

Besides, while Bella and I hadn't really discussed the subject much, yet anyway, I was pretty sure I wanted to have kids of my own some day. And the thought of them being ashamed of me - their father - because of the way my body looked was almost unbearable. I made a silent promise to myself never to let it come to that.

As a result of my determination, along with Carmen's assistance - and more will-power than I knew I possessed - I had already lost almost thirty pounds over the last four months. The first time I realized my pants were getting loose around my waist, I started fucking bawling. When I told Bella, she cried right along with me. I figured she had been even more concerned about my health than she was letting on.

Of course, simply counting calories and only eating healthy food wasn't enough by a long shot, even though it was a start. I was also forced to do the one thing I dreaded above most other - I had to start working out. The mere thought nearly sent me into a panic attack, but when Carmen told me I could begin with taking long and quick walks, I happily agreed out of pure relief.

When Emmett found out, he tried to persuade me into joining him at the gym where he used to work out, but I flat-out refused, insisting I would not set my foot at a place like that before I had lost at least a hundred pounds. Then he pointed out that going to the gym would make me lose the weight that much faster. Naturally, he was right, but I wouldn't budge. I preferred to keep what little dignity I had.

Emmett was a good friend, though, and didn't pester me about it. In fact, he was very supportive, even going as far as to accompany me on my daily walks from time to time, encouraging me to keep up the speed. Ironically, it was one of those days when we happened to run into Jacob Black of all people. We started talking, and that's when I finally learned what Jake did for a living.

At first I thought he was joking when he told us he was working at one of the biggest gym in town, but it turned out he was serious. Emmett's face lit up and he elbowed me in the side, mumbling something about 'a fucking sign from above'. I just shook my head at him and was about to change the subject, but clearly my brain had other ideas.

Before I knew it, I was asking Jake some casual questions, all of which he was more than happy to answer. And then he came up with the suggestion that would come to change everything.

He offered to let me use the gym outside office hours when it would be closed to the public, as long as I promised to bring someone to assist me at all times, someone who knew how to work all the machines properly and would make sure I used them correctly. I also couldn't leave any signs that I had been there, or it would get Jake in trouble.

Emmett volunteered to coach me on the spot. In fact, he seemed almost more excited about the whole thing than I was. I was hesitant at first, but then thought 'hell with it' and agreed, although somewhat reluctantly. And it took almost a week after that until I had worked up enough courage to actually make my way down to the gym, even though I knew for certain that nobody else would be there.

The first two weeks, I loathed it with a passion, desperately trying to come up with all kinds of lame excuses why I couldn't go, but Emmett saw through me every time. At one point, he even asked me straight out if I wanted to give up the whole idea. I was ashamed to admit that for a second, I wanted to say yes.

I didn't, though. The next couple of hours were pure hell, and I was in pain for a week after that night, but I didn't give up. And for the first time - for as long as I could remember, anyway - I felt genuinely proud of myself after that work-out session. The best part was that the feeling lingered for quite some time. It was not something I was used to. But it felt fucking great.

So, yeah, it was safe to say that my life as I used to know it was no more. I never thought I would actually find the strength to change my self-destructive lifestyle, but here I was, heading for a better, healthier, and most of all - hopefully - a much longer life. And I never would have dared to take that step if it hadn't been for my girl.

Bella and I were two of a kind. She meant the world to me and I could honestly say that I loved her with all my heart. One day, I was going to ask her to marry me. And I truly believed she would say yes.

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><p><strong>Bella<strong>

I was absolutely exhausted, but in a good way. I was also famished, but the moment Edward's arms slipped around me from behind and I relaxed into his embrace, I forgot all about what we were doing and just relished the feeling of his strong arms around me. It was the best feeling in the world. Or maybe waking up together in the morning was just as amazing. And cuddling on the couch. Oh, and the sex...

Who was I kidding? _Everything_ was amazing as long as Edward was involved. Just when I thought I couldn't possibly love him any more, he would say or do something that made me fall even harder. As the weeks passed, turning into months, our relationship continued to grow stronger.

Of course, we didn't always agree on everything, but I doubted _any_ couple did. Bickering every once in a while was perfectly normal. Even my therapist - Kate - said so.

And the make-up sex was really great as well.

So, I had started therapy a couple of months back, and I had never once regretted my decision. I had felt a connection with Kate right away, and she was easy to talk to. She liked to speak her mind and get straight to the point, but that was okay, because I knew I needed to hear it. And she was usually right.

Today, our focus had been on the relationship I had with Renee, and what it was like growing up with her. It may have seemed like a difficult topic, but to my surprise, the words kept coming. In a way, it felt good to get it all out there. Sure, I had been talking to Edward a lot, as well as my dad, but sometimes, I had to admit it was almost easier to spill my guts to Kate.

Maybe it was because that was the only reason I was sitting in her office - it was her job to listen to my life-story, and I didn't have to worry about disappointing her. Not that I really thought Edward or Charlie would ever feel that way, but still, there were times when I kind of preferred to talk to an outsider, someone whose first reaction wasn't automatically to defend and protect me.

Sometimes, I just needed someone to be tough with me, even if it wasn't always fun. I had come to that conclusion pretty quickly.

I still wasn't sure Renee and I would ever get to a point where we would see eye to eye on things. We were just too different. The things she found important, I couldn't care less about, and she didn't understand me and my needs any better. It was sad, yes. But I had learned that you could never change another person. She may have tried over the years, but she failed.

It had taken quite some time, but I had finally found myself. I knew who I was, and who I wanted to be. Somehow, I didn't think my mother could say the same. A part of me couldn't help but feel sorry for her, because I truly doubted she had ever been really happy. She was a good actor, though.

I thought back to that day, over four months ago, when I had knocked on her door, determined for us to clear the air, once and for all.

"_I just want to know why." I crossed my arms protectively over my chest. "Be honest with me, Renee. Did you ever stop to think about what your behavior did to me, or were you just too self-absorbed to even care?"_

_She huffed. "Isabella, I don't appreciate your tone. You and Charlie are both acting as if I've been a horrible mother to you, and I don't think I deserve to be treated that way. Haven't I always given you everything you could possibly want? I don't understand what's gotten into you. You've changed since you met that... guy, and I have to say it's not for the better. Let me tell you-"_

"_No, mother,"I cut her off, giving her a hard look. "It's time for you to be quiet and listen to me for once. You've always taken me for granted, assumed I wanted just what you wanted in life, but you've never once bothered to actually ask me. I'm done waiting for you to come around, so I'm just going to tell you. I don't care about material stuff. I just want to be happy."_

"_Life is not some fairytale, honey," Renee sighed, sounding almost sympathetic. "It's not some sappy romance novel where the heroine always ends up with the handsome prince and they live happily ever after in some shiny castle. I hate to break it to you, but that's just not how it works. In real life, you have to struggle to get somewhere. And money is everything. Simple as that."_

_I opened my mouth to argue with her, but that's when I looked into her eyes and realized for the first time that there was no malice there, only sincerity. My mother truly believed in her own words. To her, love was just something you read about in books - it didn't exist in the real world. In her mind, happiness equaled success, and the only way to reach that state was to buy it._

_My heart ached for her in that moment. I was also forced to accept that nothing I said would cause her opinion to change._

_In her own way, she probably _did_ love me, just like I had always tried telling myself in order to feel better. But her view on love was twisted. I could see that now._

"_I don't agree with you," I told her softly. "I believe differently, and my relationship with Edward is all the proof I need. I'm in love, Mom. To me, that means more than all the money in the world. As long as I have Edward, I will be happy. More than that. He makes me feel complete. I'm sorry you have never felt that way, because there is just no better feeling. I mean that." _

_When she didn't respond, just watched me thoughtfully, I went on, "I can't believe you never saw how much you were hurting me when you couldn't just accept me for who I was and allow me to be myself. I know - I should've put my foot down a long time ago, but until I met Edward, I didn't even realize why I was so unhappy all the time."_

"_I didn't know who I was," I continued, "because you never let me find out. You were too busy molding me into someone _you_ would approve of, but what you failed to see was that I hated this strange person I was becoming. It wasn't right, Mom. You need to start seeing that."_

_For a minute or so, she just looked at me blankly, and I started to become frustrated, wondering if she had even heard a word I said. But then her face softened. And I was amazed to actually see tears in my mother's eyes. The last time I remembered seeing her cry was that fateful day all those years ago when she had caught me playing with a knife in my room back in Forks._

_A lot of pain and misery had followed as a result of that day. But I could never regret moving away with Renee, because if she hadn't taken me with her, I never would have met Edward. The mere thought of not having him in my life now was too painful to bear. _

"_It wasn't my intention to hurt you." Her voice was suddenly small, almost pitiful. "But the world is a hard place, Isabella. You need to think about yourself first, and you can't be afraid to take what you want, because no one else will give it to you. I only wanted to make sure you knew how to take care of yourself. I tried to make you strong, independent. Like me."_

"_You forgot to add alone and bitter," I sighed. "Mom, if what you're saying is true, then I get what you were trying to do, but it still doesn't make it right. It's never okay to step on other people to get what you want. Acting superior and looking down at others won't get you anywhere. I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but I never wanted to be like you. I wanted to be myself."_

_For the longest time, she just looked at me, a pained expression on her face. Then she let out a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. I thought I was helping you. I never meant for you to end up hating me."_

_I shook my head, because she sounded so sad in that moment, so unlike her usual confident self. "I don't hate you, Mom, but you have to understand that some of the things you've done of late were downright vile. The way you've been treating Edward... And you used Jake - an innocent person - for your devious schemes, just to end up humiliating all of us. Was it really worth it?"_

_She closed her eyes for a moment. Then, after what seemed like an eternity, she shook her head. "What do you want from me? Do you want me to grovel? That's just not me, Isabella. You know that. I told you I'm sorry, and I meant it. The question is, do you even want to forgive me?"_

"_Want to, yes." I looked her right in the eyes. "I just don't know if I can. Maybe some day, if you're really being sincere. But forgiveness is something you have to earn. It's easy to say 'sorry'. It's just a word. But actually feeling it is a different matter. And I need to be sure you really do before I can say I forgive you and mean it. I need time."_

"_All right. Fair enough. I can live with that." Renee was quiet for a few seconds. "I'll give you some space. Just... feel free to call me, or just come over if you want. We could just chat." She looked away. "Don't shut me out, okay? Please? I don't want to lose you completely." _

_I didn't trust my voice to hold, so I merely nodded. _

"_And for what it's worth..." She still wouldn't meet my eyes. "That guy... Edward. I guess you could have done a lot worse." I blinked at her, not sure whether to feel grateful or insulted by her quasi 'approval' of my boyfriend. It sounded like she meant it, though, and I figured it was all I would get from her at this point. _

From that day, I could detect a slight difference in my mother's behavior. In a way, it was like she was really trying to be nicer, to please me. And yet, I could tell she still didn't completely understand why I was being so stubborn about it. I truly believed she was serious when she said she didn't want to lose me, because she must have realized that was a possibility. And that's what she feared.

A part of me doubted we would ever be on the same wavelength, so to I just had to accept the fact that - even though we were mother and daughter - we couldn't be any more different. But maybe that was okay. As long as she respected me. Something told me she was learning, or at the very least trying to. And right now, that was all I could ask for.

"What are you thinking about?" Edward asked, his voice bringing me back to the present. "You seem to be miles away."

I smiled apologetically and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Sorry, baby, I was just thinking about Renee. Nothing bad," I hurried to add as I watched him frown. "Never mind. Did you get started with the vegetables...?" I stopped and gave him a sheepish look when I realized he was already finished with his task. "Okay, I'll start paying attention now. Sorry. I won't space out again." I blushed.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. "Feel free to space out anytime, love. Just remember we're supposed to meet up with our friends in less than two hours."

I held back a sigh. On the one hand, I just wanted to spend the rest of the evening alone with Edward, but on the other, I really enjoyed hanging out with our friends as well. We hadn't planned anything fancy, just a movie night at Rosalie and Emmett's place. Rose had called me last night to warn me that she had also invited Alice and Jasper, but they still hadn't confirmed if they were actually coming or not.

Over the last couple of months, I had only seen Alice twice. Both times, she had been polite and quiet, but it didn't take a genius to figure out that things were still awkward between her and Edward. I wished I knew how to make it easier for him, but I couldn't really do much more than keep showing him my full support. Maybe they would someday find their way back to each other.

Speaking of friends, as it turned out, Edward and Jacob had actually become pretty close over the months. Jake was a really great guy, and I was starting to warm up to his girlfriend - Leah - as well, even though she had seemed a bit cold at first. The two of them would hang out with the rest of us every once in a while, and they were both going to join us tonight.

To say that Renee had been shocked when she first learned about Jake becoming a part of our tight little group would have been an understatement. The look on her face was priceless.

As for my old friends, they were barely more than a distant memory these days. We had run into Jessica and Lauren at the mall one day, a few months back, and I had finally gotten to introduce them to Edward. They both acted polite enough while we made some trivial small talk, but their true colors had been shining true as they couldn't keep the repulsion off their faces. I knew Edward noticed as well.

I still don't know who had been most surprised by what happened after that - Jessica and Lauren, Edward, or myself - but I cut Jess off in the middle of a sentence, gave the two bitches a big fake smile, and told them loudly to go fuck themselves. Judging by the way their jaws practically hit the ground, I would have to say maybe they were the ones who had been most shocked after all.

Needless to say, we parted ways immediately after that. Once Edward had recovered from the shock of hearing me drop the f-bomb, he actually burst out laughing and told me he had known I had it in me all along. Then he kissed me, right there in the middle of the mall, and the rest of the world ceased to exist for a while.

I hadn't seen or spoken to Jess and Lauren since that day, and I could honestly say I had no regrets, whatsoever. If anything, it was a relief to know those two were no longer a part of my life. I certainly wouldn't miss them. After all, I had real friends now.

Real friends, and real love. A year ago, I didn't know either of those things were even possible.

"Come on." I turned off the stove and tugged at Edward's hand. "I think I need to work up my appetite before I can actually eat." Seeing the understanding shine in his eyes, I smiled coyly at him before adding, "And I really think I would do that best in the bedroom. Care to help me?" I barely got to finish the sentence before he had swept me off the floor, causing me to squeal as he carried me out of the kitchen, bridal style.

"I love you," I told him breathlessly. He stopped in his tracks, looking me right into the eyes.

"I love you, too," was his response. Then he leaned in to kiss me passionately.

We never made it into the bedroom.

**The End **

* * *

><p><strong>End Notes: And it's done. We've reached the end of this story, although for Bella and Edward, it's just the beginning. They are both healing, but as all of us know, it won't happen over night. It takes time. I chose to keep the ending somewhat open, leaving it up to you readers to decide what happens next, but I assure you they are both finally on the right path. They are moving forward, and they are doing it together. That was my intention with this all along, and now I can only hope you are as happy with the way things ended as I am. I was never going to change Edward into some 'perfect' model, Bella loves him just the way he is, and now when he's getting help to become more healthy, he will learn to like himself better as well. As for Bella's eating disorder, it's all out in the open and she's learning to cope. That's what life is really about if you ask me. There is no magical cure to fix all our problems. You have to want to get better, for yourself as well as for others. And these two have finally reached that point. Now when I'm done rambling, I just want to take a moment to thank all of you, for the last time, for all the kind words and support you've been giving me. Some of you have shared your own stories with me, and I just hope all of you end up as happy and healthy as Edward and Bella. Now, some of you have asked if I will start a new story, and I'm sad to tell you it probably won't happen. Of course, you never know what happens in the future, but right now, I feel like I'm done with writing. I won't leave the fandom completely, though, I'm nowhere near ready for that. I will still be following and reading my favorite stories, and I'll most likely tweet about them too. Okay, thanks again! This story wouldn't even be here, let alone finished, without my wonderful readers. Love you all!<strong>


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